Kuroyukihime’s Return
Page 21
But the worst damage might be the problems of the life and future production plans for the prosperity of my descendants, but that’s the forward on the visual side. My luck being bad, leaving me staring at my face for thirty minutes in that instant, reflected in the window, scarred psychologically, and it really is regrettable. The next time I do it, I’ll close the curtains, but I’ll also do it when I’m fed up with everything and I die. It’s actually kind of a tough thing.
But all you young men thinking you can’t use this program. If that’s the case, please listen carefully. This thousand-times forward, there are other ways to use it than just for sex.
That’s right. Peeing.
The idea popped into my head the other day when I was standing there letting loose in the bathroom at school, and I went ahead and Burst Linked, but to be honest, I couldn’t handle thirty minutes of letting it go. Also, it would be amazing if you could use your senses and make the opening like an anti-warship beam! It’s like that thing, you know: how many pop bottles you can fill. Let’s see, to put it into words, it was something like E-everything in me is coming out…Unconsciously, I went pigeon-toed, and during the thirty minutes I spent shaking like a Burst coward, the “staker” everyone’s been talking about lately was apparently running around the halls looking for me, but he would never dream that my main battleground was the bathroom. I didn’t really want to dream it, either.
In any case, you might think that version eight, with its greater destructive power, would probably bring about a rapid reform in the Brain Burst world, but that won’t happen, since those guys who got wind of it early on kept complaining. I’ll look into it a little more, and let’s see, th-this is a test? A test, well, that’s what I’d like to do, but those guys targeting the top brass of my faction come along, trying to find fault, all You planning to sell to other factions? Honestly, all of them, every single one, are perverted junior high students, which is seriously problematic. These guys who Burst Link those times they find a porn magazine on the roadside and pretend to pass by while looking them over a thousand times faster noodle around and feint each other out in the Burst world—all I can think is You guys, okay. I feel sorry for them, so I decide to pick it up in meatspace and flip through every page at high speed to show these Bursted guys. I get a lot of thank-you mails for these godlike actions, with my consciousness in both worlds, but you know, you should do good deeds. Although when I folded the magazine up halfway through and took it home, the number of Duel request appointments was greater than four digits.
I’ve gotten a little off topic, but in any case, with this forward, my boss is targeting me, and it’s super annoying.
Like the other day, just when I was shooting off a huge one in my main battlefield, and I was testing the program with the thousandfold pleasure of getting it out into the world, that idiot comes riding along—No, I can’t call my boss an idiot, but he’s an idiot. However, this idiot—No, no, he’s my boss, so (omitted). In any case, that time, I prolonged a thousand times the information on “the sensation of the moment you stick your finger in your nose” that I had previously saved, and forwarded that to his ass, earning a trip to the hospital, but there’s a limit to how many times I’ll be able to pull through that. I’ve been thinking it’s getting to be about time I left the faction and struck out on my own, and today, I’m planning to go and take some temporary measures.
That’s why I’m going to sell this forward, and, well, I’m deciding where to sell it. At the very least, it probably wouldn’t be so great to let it be used for things like drawing out the pain of torture a thousand times or something.
I mean, Burst Linkers get hurt or sick in meatspace, too. Even if they can Burst Link in their hospital room, life in the hospital is pretty boring. However, if you have this program, you can stretch out the flavor of the snacks people bring you a thousand times. If you’re limited to taste and smell, you don’t just get the taste, you can also stop a flower or a moment in the season. Lately, there’s also a faction of Burst Linkers who are taking care of hospital-related stuff and watching over people, so I have no doubt they’d pay big money for this thing.
But I’m also a heartless man. Yeah, I’ll put this up for sale. As for payment, right. It’ll be the price I feel like at the time, and you get to shake in your boots about when I’ll come after you for some enormous sum after you’ve gotten your pleasure.
Now then, once I’ve eaten dinner, I guess I’ll go and see those guys who’ve gotten some kind of clue. Oh, but I have to go to the bathroom first. It’s nothing strange, gentlemen. It’s the term-end test.
So something like that, I guess. The truth is this short story is something I sort of sent in after I accepted the job writing the commentary and dashed it off once my ideas solidified while chatting with Miki, the editor, immediately after I read the book. However, we did agree that this would be used as a bit of help in understanding the text; it really took it out of me, this job. Anyway, at the very least, all of you having finished reading the book no doubt had the sense of looking at the world outside and feeling that someone over there was fighting at a thousand times the speed. I think it’s a novel that really has an appeal like a tool to stimulate the imaginations of a wide variety of readers…Oh, I didn’t mean stimulates like Kawakami sweat or anything like that. On a larger scale, like (omitted).
On the next few pages are drawings of the characters and their avatars like I see them in my head and miscellaneous impressions. The artist’s drawings are the official ones, so this is just me playing around, and I’d just be happy if they were a stimulation for you.
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