by Jamie Magee
“Why did it feel like we had been apart? I cherished every second like it would be our last.”
He looked down, and anger took over his expression. “We…we seemed to be fighting the same battles as our parents did.”
“My dad? Your mom?”
He nodded.
“Did it kill them?” I asked as my voice trembled.
I heard the guitar echo a solemn tone, and tears came to the corners of my eyes.
Draven moved closer to me and wrapped his arm around me, pulling me to him. “My mom died giving birth to me…no one could ever prove that your father’s death was anything more than an accident – but you and I…we’ve seen enough to believe otherwise.”
“Did something drive us apart? Why are we not always together?”
He hesitated and pulled slightly away. “The things that we could see – what we could hear…we kept to ourselves until around middle school – at that point, my dad figured it out.”
“How?” I asked, turning to face him – my heart was racing – inside, I was furious that the whispers could have very well taken my dad from me –I felt cheated and hurt.
“Charlie…I don’t wanna do this…I want you to find your memory on your own – I know something happened - that you know something – I can’t help you remember that …and it has to be important.”
“Draven, listen to me – answer my questions. I’ve already proven that I can remember us – help me fill in the rest, and I’ll find a way to remember what you think I know.” My tone was demanding and desperate at the same time.
He pulled himself back on my bed and leaned against my headboard. I crawled closer and stared at him. He wasn’t smiling, but his eyes were. “You’re starting to sound like my Charlie,” he said quietly.
“What happened in middle school?” I asked again.
He looked down and reached for my hand and let his fingertips run across mine. “One day on the field at school, Aden and I were playing football with the team. All of a sudden, the shadowed images came from everywhere. They were moving in and out of our friends – we attacked them – it led to a fight on the field – the coaches tore us apart, and my dad was called – he was furious – we’d never been in trouble before, our grades were flawless – when we got home that day, he demanded that we tell him what had gotten into us – when we refused, he told us we were grounded – that we couldn’t see our friends anymore until we explained ourselves – Aden and I couldn’t let that happen – we knew you and Madison could see what we could – that if they came after us, they could come after you. The only way we could protect you was by confessing the things that we could see and hear.”
“Madison acted like we all see differently.”
He nodded. “In a way – we may see the problem in different ways, but we all see the same answer. She and Aden are different from you and me. The shadows don’t call them by name – we’ve never understood why. “
“What did your dad say? Did he tell my mom – does she know?”
He reached his fingertips to my lips to stop my endless questions. “Shh…take what I’m saying in slowly…if you can’t remember any of it, let it go and hold on to what you do remember – your perception and mine are gonna be different, and yours is the one that’s the most important right now.”
I let my lips kiss his fingertips as if to agree. A smile beamed across his face as he let his hand fall into mine.
“Instead of my dad thinking we were insane, like we thought he would – he believed us – he believed us because my mom and your dad had told him the same thing before. “
“How does Madison fit into this? That doesn’t make any sense.”
“She’s my distant cousin – our grandmothers are sisters – same blood – that’s the only connection we’ve really found.”
“You said we were stronger together – why did they separate us?”
“At that time, they thought that Aden and I were attracting it – some kind of target – my dad thought separating us would keep you and Madison safe – we moved to the UK the next week.”
A horrible memory jolted through my mind as chills spread across my spine – I - I remember crying breathless into my pillow, clinching a photo of Draven when he was just a boy….I remember feeling like my body was being torn apart – like I’d lost part of my soul. “They were wrong…” I whispered.
“Yeah…the whispers were constant around you….you had insane nightmares of shadows taking over everyone around you. My dad had found old friends in the UK – people who understood what we were going through – he wanted us to stay there – he asked your mom to move there….but she couldn’t find the strength to move…it took everything she had to move to NY.”
“Why there?”
“She wanted you close to her, and she had to work…over the past few years, all of our parents have just been trying to figure out who the real attraction – trigger is – and why. You and I didn’t really care – we wanted to be together, and the summers – holidays and random weekends weren’t enough. We started looking for an escape – started counting down to the day when we could just run away together.”
“I was counting down the days…,” I said as my eyes raced back and forth.
He nodded to agree. “Madison and Aden are determined to go with us – they think they can protect us.”
All of a sudden, I remembered when they said that – it was last Christmas Break, and we were here – Austin was here; I couldn’t remember the words he said, but I knew he was our escape.
“Austin – he’s our way out.”
Draven looked down. “We used to think that.”
“What do you mean?”
Draven hesitated before he answered. “When Austin told us about where he lived – it was like someone had told us that we’d been cured from some terminal disease – he warned us that there was a myth that if you weren’t brought to that place by someone who you loved – that the world would reject you on a physical level. He didn’t know how much truth was behind that myth – he told us that Landen could see the truth - that either he or someone in his family would know if it was safe for us to go there, and if it wasn’t, Landen would be able to help us find a place that was safe – free from negative intent.”
My eyes grew wider as I remembered Austin saying that. I also remembered him testing us, he wanted to know if we could see something called a string. Draven and I stood next to him… the night air began to move before us. Austin looped his arms through ours, and we stepped forward – then all of a sudden, everything around us was glowing white. I could feel a wave of energy coursing around me, and I could hear a low hum. In either direction, I could see beautiful hazes of every color. Austin stepped back, pulling us with him, and it was night again. Next, he took Madison and Aden through the passage – all of us could see. Austin told us he knew without a doubt that we were special – that not everyone could see – because we could see, he had the confidence that his home would accept us – his world believes in fate…he believes fate led him to us – that he’s now been charged with the duty to keep us safe – to find a positive reason for what we can hear and see.
“The string – we were planning on leaving this world,” I whispered.
“Dimension – not world…Austin told us he could bring us back to see our families when we wanted but that the storms in the string would make each trip a dangerous one – that we may have to go months without coming back.”
My head was spinning; before my eyes, I saw small lights – it was like dormant memories were sparking to life with his simple words – it was like watching a movie of someone who looked just like me – I could see them, but I was still having a hard time believing all these memories were mine – that I lost them so easily, without warning. “I was too scared to tell my mom…I knew she’d talk me out of it – I just told her I was going to find a safe place… she knew I was lying, and that just made us grow further apart.”
The guitar sou
nd around us changed its pitch, as if to confirm my memories. Draven’s eyes looked at the thin air and smiled slightly.
“You and your mom have never really talked about any of this…it’s just too hard for her – she doesn’t want to lose you.”
I looked down. “I was kinda hoping that distant memory I had of her was wrong.”
The guitar continued to play a sad tone.
Draven reached for my chin and gently urged me to look him in the eye. “All it’s going to take is just one conversation – you just have to talk to her.”
As I looked into his eyes, small tears came to the corners of my eyes. This morning, I would have told you that the distance between me and my mother was because she was grieving for my dad – but that wasn’t it at all – we were distant because I was just like my dad – and that hurt her.
Draven pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me. I took in a deep breath as I felt his hand gently move across my back. My mind was racing in every direction. I tried to piece the precious memories I found tonight together with the ones I already had; the only thing that was missing was Aden and Draven – I couldn’t figure out why.
“Before yesterday, when was the last time you saw me?” I asked, wondering why he was so easy to forget.
Draven’s body seemed to tense all at once, and his hand - which was moving across my back - stopped. “We’re getting too close to what I need you to remember on your own,” he said quietly.
I looked up at him. “Just answer that one question,” I pleaded.
“Tuesday,” he whispered as he pulled me closer.
I squeezed my arm around him as the emotion of grief brought unwanted dormant memories to life. “We had a fight…I told you I didn’t want to go with Austin anymore.”
I felt his lips on my forehead, and I closed my eyes. “You told me that you’d never forgive yourself if we led this darkness to another world – that we had to conquer it here first – I agreed with you, and so did Aden.”
“Why did we fight?” I asked, looking up at him.
His fingertips tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear. As he swallowed, I could see the anger in his eyes. “You wouldn’t tell me what was wrong – I think Madison may have known, but she would never betray you and tell me – you promised me that you’re protecting me by not telling me. I wanted to stay with you, but you sent me home…”
The only emotions I felt at that moment were regret and anger. I was furious with myself – I hurt him, and I couldn’t even remember why.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered in a tearful voice.
He shook his head no as he pulled me to him and kissed my lips. I wrapped my arms around him and moved my lips passionately against his, holding him as tight as I could. I wanted to disappear somewhere inside of him and forget that something dark and cold was trying to come between us.
A knock was the only thing that stopped us from losing control in each other’s arms. I pulled away quickly and looked to the stairway - I could barely see the top of Aden’s head.
I looked back at Draven as a blushing grin spread across my face.
“You can come up,” Draven said as he smiled back at me.
Aden climbed the last few steps into my room. “It was too quiet…I didn’t know if you were sleeping or not,” he said, trying not to blush as he walked to the bed and sat down next to us.
“What time is it?” I asked as I felt a yawn come out of nowhere.
“Almost seven…did you guys sleep?” he asked, looking over me and Draven.
“Not long…we spent more time talking,” Draven said, grinning slightly at Aden.
“Remembering,” I corrected.
Aden raised his eyebrows as hope spread across his face. “Is Charlie back?”
“Almost,” Draven said, pulling me against him. “We’re back…that’s all that matters now.”
The guitar sound around us erupted into an electrifying tone, as if to celebrate.
I watched as a grin spread across Aden’s face. “I like that,” he said, rocking his head with the rhythm.
“You hear it, too? Madison doesn’t – I don’t get it,” I said, sitting up and looking between them.
Aden started to say something, but Draven shook his head, telling him to stop, then looked down at me. “Sometimes…sometimes you have to use one sense to create another…she can’t hear it because…because she’s never seen it.”
I held my breath as he said the words – I couldn’t move – was he saying that I could see my father before? Did I forget that? How could I forget that?!
“I’ll be downstairs, guys…I don’t wanna mess up and say the wrong thing,” Aden said, standing.
“I’ll be there in a minute,” Draven said, nodding for him to go.
“Show me how to see now,” I said, rising to my knees.
He shook his head no. “You’re tired…sleep first…dream for me.”
“Draven, have I seen him?!” I said, refusing to let it go. I stood and started to pace my room.
The sound of the guitar grew silent almost, as if it didn’t want to make its presence known anymore.
Draven stood and caught me as I passed him by; he pulled me to his chest and swayed us from side to side.
“Sleep first…let’s see how far your dreams take you…it’ll be easier if you remember more.”
I wanted to argue with him, but all of a sudden a calm and total serenity absorbed me – the room - my eyes were heavy, and my body grew numb. Draven pulled my covers back and urged me to lay down. I crawled under the covers and looked up at him through sleepy eyes.
“I want to see him….I want to show mom him,” I whispered as my eyes began to close.
“I’ll come back around four…you’ll see today – I promise,” he whispered.
I couldn’t hold my eyes open any longer. I let them fall as I felt his lips touch mine.
Chapter 11
As I drifted to sleep, the memories I had found raced through my mind. I felt so guilty – I knew that for the last few days that Draven had thought that I left him – I was a horrible person - I’d fought with him – then simply just forgot he existed.
In my dream, I watched us scream at each other in my apartment in NY. He demanded that I tell him what was wrong, but I refused – his face hardened, and he asked me if there was someone else – he asked me if I was cheating on him. The question invoked a fury within me – I didn’t answer him – instead, I pushed him and Aden out of my apartment door. I closed it, then slid down to the floor, crying breathlessly – saying ‘ I had to’ over and over again. I heard my phone ring and crawled to my bag to answer it, sure it was him, but it wasn’t. Bianca’s name was on the screen. I took in a deep breath and grew more determined that sending Draven away was what I had to do – I answered the phone like nothing was wrong.
The dream was excruciating – I rolled myself awake, then laid still, trying to understand why I needed to protect him from her – then I had this sick feeling that I had somehow cheated on Draven with Britain and maybe – maybe I thought Bianca would tell on me. I shook my head from side to side, knowing I never could have done that – there had to be another reason.
My eyes fell closed again. I drifted to sleep and focused on Bianca – I tried to think of every conversation I had ever had with her –to see if I’d ever told her about Draven. Voices overlapped in my dream, then I found myself on my bed in my room in NY. Bianca hit ‘Pause’ on my phone, stopping my music. “This summer – we should go away together. I’ll get my dad to pay for it.”
I rolled my eyes at her and hit ‘Play’ on my phone. “Can’t go,” I mumbled as I rocked with the guitar that was playing.
She paused the music and pushed the phone away. “Cancun – is that what you said? We could go there.”
I shook my head. “I said I can’t go.” Her expression was placid, but I swear I could see her pupils in the center of her blue eyes expanding and retracting as I stared at them, wondering how she wa
s doing that.
“Cancun sounds fun…we’ll leave after graduation,” she said as she smiled at me.
I felt myself want to argue, but instead I whispered, “Can’t go – Cancun,” under my breath.
Bianca smiled and said, “That’s right, Charlie – Cancun.”
In my mind, I was desperately trying to find any clue in this dream – I looked down at what I was wearing – it was the same skirt I had on that night at the ER. My racing heart woke me up.
I rubbed my hands across my face, knowing that I never wore the same clothes in the same way more than once. I tried to remember if I had every really asked my mom if I could even go – a sick feeling came over me when I realized that I’d never said that I was going there aloud – that no one had ever mentioned that I was planning to, beyond Bianca and Britain.
I stretched and pulled myself awake. I decided I couldn’t lay there anymore. I couldn’t clearly remember Draven telling me when he’d be back, and I wanted to take a shower and change before he came.
As I showered, I questioned if Draven even knew that Bianca and Britain existed – it was hard to tell if he did or not. A sickening guilt came over me as I realized that if he did know about them, there was a good chance he believed I was cheating on him – maybe that’s why he refused to talk about anything past me sending him away. I knew I hadn’t – I knew that I couldn’t - I was protecting him – from what, I didn’t know. I planned to call Madison as soon as I got dressed – I was going to make her tell me what I was fighting on my own – what Britain had to do with any of this.
I hummed with the sound of the guitar as I got out of the shower. I was trying to put words to the music. I wanted to hear answers behind the sound. My heart started to race as I thought of the possibility of seeing what was creating this beautiful sound – right now, I didn’t know if I could handle seeing the image of my father.
I had a towel wrapped around me and had almost finished drying my hair when Kara charged in the bathroom; the look on her face was of pure anger.
