Saturdays at the Viper Rooms

by Kirsty-Anne Still

  ***

  I walk into my apartment. I didn’t have to be followed home tonight. No clients means no special treatment. I was allowed to leave the club and drive myself home without being tailed. I was able to live a normal life for twenty minutes as I left work. But in that time, reality set in.

  My heart was hurting at what was to come and I was continually seeing each of the other girls in their bed with Jace. The idea sickened me, but what could I do? I had no right to defend a relationship that was never meant to happen. I had no reason to react to Clara’s plan except to go with it. She was shaking things up, but what she had done was shake my doubts.

  I sluggishly take myself to my apartment. It’s quiet and I know that’s because the girls who live here from the club are at work right now. The other people who live here are probably settling in for the evening. I don’t care for any of them right now. None of them see the destruction before it happens.

  Reaching my door, I unlock it and enter. My home is warm and I want nothing more than to sink onto the couch and remain there until the masquerade ball is over. I can’t deal with losing Jace. He’s the only person who doesn’t hate me for being me. He’s the only one who knows the real me.

  As I walk in, I freeze. Jace is sitting there. He’s been waiting. Immediately my mouth dries and the sight of him has tears pooling in my eyes. He senses my distress and is up from the armchair and advancing towards me. The moment he captures me in his arms, I let all of the emotions go. I think I’ve been on autopilot since Clara told me the game plan.

  “Hey,” he whispers, his voice is soothing and delicate to my temporarily wounded soul. “What’s wrong?” he asks and suddenly his grip tightens on me as if a sudden realization has happened. “What did they do? You’re home too early.”

  “I-it wasn’t them,” I reply, knowing he’s referring to the other men on the list. I push away, looking to him, the tears still pouring down my face. “I think Clara knows, Jace. I think she knows and I think instead of exacting punishment, she’s going to tear us apart.” I shudder at down on the thought, my body involuntarily shutting down. “I’m going to lose you.”

  “No, you’re not,” he immediately denies my claim. He forces me to look at him. His hands sit on either side of my face, his thumbs rubbing the tears away. “What you and I have, Joely, I spent my entire life searching for. People wanted me for my money or to be noticed. You want me for me. I won’t ever jeopardize that. We’ve beaten the odds already, we’ll continue beating them whatever Delvine throws at us.”

  “What about you getting a new girl?” I ask him and I see his eyes darken. “What about me getting a new client to replace you? What then?”

  “Nothing! I don’t want another girl, I want you! I need you! You saved me, so why would I change that?” he asks me, pressing for more. “Why?”

  “Because she’s changing it up,” I tell him and I can say no more as I break down. He pulls me back into his arms and leads me to the couch. He pulls me down, allowing me to curl up against his body. I cling onto him for dear life, sobbing at the future that could happen. I force myself to calm, hiccupping upon my distress as I do so. I push up a little until I’m looking at him. “We can’t see each other right now.”

  “What?!” Jace practically yells at me. “Why the hell not?”

  “Because we have a new girl, and I’m in charge of her. Clara’s making her stay here until they have an apartment secured for her. I have to do this,” I remark and I know he understands my fear of the pit. I don’t do the dark well ever since I ran away and he would never willingly have a hand in me landing in there.

  His face softens slightly. “I’ll miss you,” he murmurs and his hand comes to cup my wet cheek. “So much.”

  “You’ll see me Friday,” I tell him and my phone buzzes. I reach for my pocket and immediately see I have a message from Shads and I swear. He’s bringing Luca here and I have to make sure Jace is nowhere near this apartment by the time they make it here. “You’ve got to go.”

  “One more kiss,” he begs and I can’t deny him that. I kiss him, melting against his chest as I do so. Jace won’t let the kiss go so I make my way reluctantly from the couch and force him to follow me. I don’t want him to go, but if he doesn’t he won’t pay the price, I will. “I’m really going to miss you,” he tells me as he finally parts to go and grab his suit jacket.

  I don’t say anything for fear of breaking down. I just watch him go, my heart pounding fiercely. I won’t see him until Friday now. He has no idea what I’m wearing, what I’ll look like, but I don’t care. I cannot wait to see his face when he watches me make my entrance Friday.

  I smile wistfully and wait for Luca to finally get here.

  Chapter Four

  “What do you do outside of work?” Luca asks as she comes back to the main room of my apartment. She’s now dressed in pajamas, joining me for what I hope to call a relaxing evening. I remember my first night as a Viper Girl. It was calm and personal between myself and Sarah. She had been in the business five years and she knew all the unspoken rules. She was my confidante, alongside Brianna. They both have made this a lot easier. Friends help you survive in this job and I want Luca to know that.

  “Me?” I ask rhetorically. “Shop, go on coffee dates with the other girls, have movie nights, lazy days. Live the good life I suppose.” I can’t reduce it down to the bare basics. We earn ridiculous amounts of money, but I won’t tell Luca that. She can wait until payday to see her new bank account. Clara wants us to live the life we want around our shifts. Outside of the clubs we aren’t her property. We’re who we are. I’m Joely, and I pray I can show Luca that she will be just Luca around us. When we’re in the clubs, we’re in there for anyone else but ourselves. She’ll learn that too soon enough. Outside of the club, we have freedom, but we remember that we must remain true to Clara and the brand.

  “We have normal lives outside?” she asks, clearly not won over by my comments.

  “Yes,” I agree, and sit up. “Clara says she owns us, but she cannot tell us what to do off the clock. We can date, have fun, go on mini breaks between shifts, but we cannot discuss The Viper Rooms with anyone but the people who already know. Do it right and you can indulge in so much.” I can’t help but be amused by Luca’s innocence. “Stick by me and I can show you everything you can and cannot do.”

  There’s a silence that settles between us. I leave Luca to think about her new life and I just turn back to the television. An evening off means I will be lazy in front of the TV and not care. But I can feel Luca’s nerves beside me. She’s chewing her lip, her eyes stuck on staring at the coffee table. I count to ten waiting for her to break the silence, and just like I once had before, she doesn’t leave room for silence to settle.

  “Do you promise to never leave me?” Luca pipes up, her voice dry and wary as she asks me the question. I turn to look her at and she’s looking at me with such caution it’s almost painful. “You’re the first person I’ve met who doesn’t want something from me.”

  “That’s because I don’t.” It’s the truth. If I want anything it’s a friendship because this is what we thrive on between us girls. Companionship is what helps us live every day without grief. “I am going to be here until my contract is up.” I see Luca hate that comment. “By the time that happens, Luca, you won’t be the new girl. You’ll be above so many girls. Right now, I know what you’re going through.”

  Luca bites her lip before releasing it enough to speak. “What got you to this point?” I dither for a moment, pondering on what to say. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

  My silence is only a result of me being attacked by my thoughts. Each one lancing through me and reminding me of what I made happen, and I knew the longer I kept this hidden, the longer I would be the victim. “I killed my best friend,” I whisper, all defenses gone. “I was driving the car when we were hit. We were messing around and I didn’t see the truck. When I woke up everything was different.
He was dead and I was to blame.” I sniff, praying for the tears to hold back. I look to Luca, my vision is blurring and merging to one with my impending tears. “I couldn’t stand it, so I ran, and I never looked back.” I can see her both physically and emotionally hit by the words. Whether it be by my honesty, or how close to the knuckle it is for her, I don’t know, but she’s affected. “I had no control for one moment of my life and I lost everything. I was the driver, I was in control. I could have saved him, but I didn’t. Being a Viper Girl means I have control. I can please people, I can be good and memorable. I can show that I can be good. I lost control for that one moment in time and I won’t do that again. I know it seems stupid because our clients have full reign, but knowing I am being whatever they want means I still have some sort of control. I give myself willingly. It works for me. The club helped me.”

  “You don’t seem to be bought by the idea now,” Luca counters my claims.

  I realize I’ve been foiled, but how do I tell her I broke the first rule of the Viper Rooms? I can’t and I won’t. I steady my breathing and weave a new lie. “I guess I wish I had my old life still. I want my friends and my family, but The Viper Rooms gave me a new family and new circle of friends. I live with what I have and count myself lucky.” It’s not all a complete piece of dishonesty, but she can never know about Jace and I, and I won’t let her. “You’ll see the benefits soon, I promise.”

  “I hope so,” she begins to wane, her depressive state beginning to eclipse her once more and I know I need to get her attention onto something else. I need her to see a light at the end of the tunnel and the first thing I come up with is only the beginning. This will only pierce the hole in the sheet of total darkness around her, but I know it’s the first step. We all went through it, we all enjoyed it. Even if we didn’t truly want to, we did.

  “Want to know what the best part of this life is?” I ask her, a small grin growing on my lips in a slow and excitable manner. I watch Luca shrug, unable to think of a good thing. “The shopping trips,” I tell her and she doesn’t seem to agree. “You’ll find out tomorrow what this baby does.” I say no more as I hold up the black bank card. It’s been sitting beside me all evening. “Trust me, shopping with this card, or your own, is like heaven on earth.”

  Now I see a bit of ease master a way through Luca’s hard walls and I see that she really is just one of the girls after all. There is hope.

  ***

  I lie still for a moment, but I can’t keep myself away from him. I roll over and pull the bedside drawer open. I see the iPhone sitting among my belongings and I immediately strike out to grab it. I turn the phone on and fall onto my back. With Luca finally asleep and out of my way, I can do what I want to - talk to Jace.

  I’m so used to winding down with him that tonight is foreign and it’s only going to get worse. I wish everyone knew how much I confided in him, how perfect life with him was outside of the walls of The Viper Rooms. I wish people knew how special I feel and how much I love lying in total darkness against his chest. I wish they knew how my heart flutters manically when he enters a room or how the butterflies go stupidly crazy like he’s my first crush. I just wish people knew how happy I was.

  It’s a sorry state to be in when only Jace knows how much I love him.

  I push call, eager to hear him, and I bite my lip as the call begins to ring through.

  “I did not expect this tonight.” Jace’s answer to my call immediately puts a smile on my face. “I thought you were busy with the new girl.”

  “Oh I am, but I finally got her to go to sleep. Tomorrow the real fun will begin.” I sigh, wishing to be in Jace’s arms having this conversation. “I’m being let loose with the black card to buy her an entire wardrobe while I also prepare her in Viper Girl etiquette.”

  Jace laughs, obviously thinking of something that humors him. “Yours is easy. Panties down, be wet and ready.”

  “Jace!” I scold him and roll my eyes, the little smile widening by the minute. “Okay, but that’s just for you.” I can’t help myself playing along with him, it’s infectious and I feel no inhibition. “I wish you were still here.”

  “I could be,” he whispers to me, pondering the moment. “I could sneak in and see you.”

  The idea of it all thrills me, but I can’t chance it, not right now. Even if Luca doesn’t know Jace’s true identity now, she will after Friday. It would take one slip of the tongue at work for Clara to know and end the facade we live. “I wish you could.”

  I hear him sigh and there’s a moment’s silence. “I guess we’ll just have to survive the distance for three days.”

  “Just like you and your business trips,” I tease, knowing how he sometimes has to jet off to other states for business. Not so much since we fell in love, but before it was all the time.

  He laughs, knowing he can’t press the situation further. “So what will you be wearing Friday?” he asks me, casually sizing me up for what to expect. “I don’t want to wear the same color and we end up looking like a couple.” I know he’s joking, but I’ll play along.

  “Peach,” I advise him, giving in to his will of playing this little game. “At least make sure you compliment me.” I giggle a little down the line and sigh happily. “I cannot wait for us to stop hiding this, J. I don’t want to be scared at what our love is going to cost us.”

  “What’s brought this on?” he asks me, I can hear his confusion over my overzealous dream. He knows more than anyone how well I know my sentence.

  “I’m just sick of hiding everything,” I tell him with an audible sigh. “I was talking to the new girl earlier when she asked me what was good about this life. I wanted to tell her you, but I couldn’t. It cut me up.” I close my eyes, the bitterness stinging my eyes with tears. “I got talking to Luca and I know what I want in life. I certainly don’t want to be trapped anymore because I know it will ruin us.” I hate myself for admitting it, but I know that Jace won’t wait forever for me to finally be released from the viper’s bite. Plus, who would stay with a woman when she has to do the most sickening of acts, even when she doesn’t want to? No one, that’s who. I count each day a blessing that he hasn’t woken up and seen sense. Even if I know it’s borrowed time.

  “It will never break us,” Jace argues back, his voice is suddenly rougher with the conviction he’s projecting. “You are not destined for this for a life time. It’s not a forever state you’re in. I will wait. I don’t care what it takes, I will be waiting at the end of it to love you how I wish I could. Joely, you and I are destined. I knew that the moment I first saw you. Why would I walk away?”

  “Because I am a prostitute,” I whisper, Luca’s words from earlier lashing at me viciously. “I will have to sleep with someone soon. I can’t keep getting lucky. What then, Jace?” I ask and I can’t stop the sob that uncoils from my throat. It’s already showing my heartbreak. “Will you still love me knowing I cheated?”

  “Against your will,” he defies me, disagreeing with me vehemently. “I understand your job. Hell, I am your job! I’ve seen how you are with other men, Joely. I know how they repulse you now and I know that whatever happens, we will survive it. Do you want to know how I know?”

  “How?” I murmur, my voice swallowed by my impending grief.

  “Because I love you and I know you. I know you more than anyone else and I have seen how that thought has worried you since we started this. Joely, I have seen the dark side of that place, please don’t do anything to ever be on the receiving end. Can you do that?”

  I wipe my face, my tears now falling out of adoration. “Yes,” I vow and I know I can only try my best.

  “We live one day at a time until that matter happens. That was always our promise,” he reminds me and I feel my mind stop racing and calm down. “Now will you please not get so worked up?”

  “I’ll try,” I promise again, wiping my face again of even more tears. They’re in the middle of a freefall and I know it’s because I’m tired and miss
ing him. “I need a favor,” I change the subject, my heart is suddenly thrust into my throat. “A big favor.”

  “What’s that?” Jace asks, the curiousness of his nature already shining through with his gentle response. I’m happy he decides to keep with me diverting our conversation away.

  “I finally want to find out what’s going on with my family. I need to know how they are,” I quickly splutter out, my eyes watering at the thought of my family. “I know I told you not to before, but I want to know.”

  “Why the sudden change of heart, baby?” Jace asks me, pushing for more details at my sudden change of heart on a subject I told him I never wanted to see anymore of.

  I exhale and close my eyes. “I told Luca about what happened. Not everything, but enough. It felt good for a moment, now I just want to know how they are.”

  “You’ve never told anyone before. That was a big move on your part,” he congratulates me knowing how hard it is to talk about what brought me here. He is one of a few who knows every little detail of how I came to fall at the devil’s feet. “I’ll get on it first thing in the morning. I promise you, everything at work can wait.”

  “No,” I quickly defy him. “You can’t stop work.” I push myself up. I am now aware of what I’ve just asked him to do. He could unearth so much - my family broken, my family living on without me, a death, so many changes. “Maybe it’s not a good idea.”

  “I think you need this,” Jace counters, not allowing me to give up. “It’ll do you good regardless of what comes of this. You need to know and maybe you can reach out to them, Lee. I think you need some contact.”

  I begin to breathe hard. What I would do to hear my mother’s voice again or to hear my father tease me. God, how I wish I could hear my big brother annoy me. I would give anything to go back, but I can’t. There is no other option. I made myself look guiltier when I ran away. The fact I did it to get away from the shame I felt is irrelevant. My hand runs across my stomach and onto my side. I have a scar there from the accident, it’s my permanent reminder. My lasting reward for the biggest of sins I have committed.