Forever Again

by Shannon Stacey

  David and Barbara Ryan were a classic case of two people who lived together for a long time growing to resemble each other very much. They were tall and athletically built, and having money kept them from quite looking their age. Both had thick, wavy hair and blue eyes, though David’s weren’t as bright as those of his wife and son.

  And granddaughter. Mia resembled Travis’s family so much that Gena felt like a trespasser at her own table.

  “Don’t you worry about having strange men live in your house with Mia?” Barbara asked, not even trying to keeping the scorn out of her voice.

  So much for a show of family, she thought, returning her former mother-in-law’s acidic smile with one of her own. The woman had actually walked through the door and said, “You can call me Mrs. Ryan.”

  What did she think she was going to call her? Mom?

  “Actually, they don’t live here, and Mia doesn’t socialize with them. Sometimes she’s the one who checks them in, or refills the muffin basket, but she doesn’t spend time with the guests. Her work is done mostly behind the scenes.”

  “Mother, I explained to you that they live in a separate part of the house, and the only access to it is through the kitchen.”

  Gena shot Travis a grateful look, but he wasn’t looking at her. As a matter of fact, she couldn’t remember him looking her way at all.

  It was clear he was avoiding her. Maybe he was still angry about her abrupt end to their discussion the other day. She also considered the possibility he was being extra careful in front of his parents. Mrs. Ryan probably wouldn’t appreciate knowing her son was attracted to his ex-wife. Gena bit down on a smile when she imagined how the woman would react to the knowledge he had actually kissed her.

  They ate in awkward silence for a few more minutes, and all the while she cursed Travis for forcing her into this. His parents had never liked her and they never would. Mia was a big girl, and this pretense thing was getting a little out of hand.

  “So, will I still be able to visit you and Kristen in Boston, Dad?” Mia asked when they were finished eating. “It’s a bummer I don’t get to go shopping with her and get my dress fitted now that you’re not getting married.”

  The only sound in the room was Barbara’s sharp intake of breath. Mia’s eyes got round when she realized what was going on, and Gena hoped Travis wouldn’t be angry with her for breaking the news before he did.

  “What does she mean you’re not getting married?” Barbara asked her son in a cold voice.

  Travis winked at Mia and gave her a reassuring smile before he turned his full attention to his mother. Somehow he had thought they could get through the evening without her finding out, but he should have known better.

  “We’ve decided we’re not ready and we’ll wait and see how it goes.”

  “You’ve been together for four years and you’re not ready? What happened?”

  He clenched his jaw and looked to his father for help, but David Ryan had developed a sudden interest in his fortune cookie. “There’s a lot going on right now, and we just want a little extra time to sort it out.”

  “You should have told her about Gena,” Barbara said firmly. “That’s what this is all about, isn’t it?”

  “I would really prefer to talk about this another time, Mother. This isn’t really the place.”

  Barbara pinned her former daughter-in-law with a cold look. “Does this have anything to do with you?”

  Travis sent up a silent prayer that this not get as ugly as he feared it might. “Mother, this has nothing to do with Gena.”

  “Well, it’s not that farfetched a notion. She corrupted you once before, so why not now?”

  “Corrupted?” Gena demanded from the end of the table. “I corrupted him?”

  He watched her face redden and her eyes brighten and dropped his head into his hands. There went another prayer unanswered.

  “Mom,” he heard Mia whisper. “Please don’t.”

  He looked up and directly into Gena’s eyes, expecting to see anger and indignation. Instead there was only pain, and it hurt him to see it.

  Whatever she might have done in the past, she didn’t deserve his mother’s abuse. Gena was a good woman and a great mom. If his mother couldn’t see that, it was her loss.

  “Mother,” he said firmly. “Gena did not corrupt me. And I would remind you that you are a guest in her home, at your request.

  “When Kristen and I get married is nobody else’s business, and it has nothing to do with Gena. You’re here to spend some time with Mia, and I’ll thank you to leave the past in the past.”

  His mother tried to stare him down, but he didn’t look away. Finally, she blinked and nodded. After breathing a sigh of relief he gave Gena an apologetic smile. It was a mistake. Even with the tension in the room she looked warm and inviting, and he didn’t want to look away.

  Damn, she’s gorgeous tonight. With her hair pulled back and a very light sheen of makeup, her eyes and the perfect bow of her mouth were highlighted.

  His gaze went to the small diamond studs in her ears, then followed the graceful curve of her neck down to the diamond pendant that rested in the low V-neck of her sweater. She moved her arm and the shirt shifted, rewarding him with just the tiniest hint of her cleavage.

  It was enough to make his mouth go dry. He wished suddenly that his parents and Mia would get an urge for ice cream or something else and leave him alone with Gena.

  He wanted to kiss her again. She had responded to his kiss before with a longing that made him wonder what she would do if he really kissed her. He wanted to run his fingers down her neck, press his mouth to that sweet spot just below the diamond pendant. Imagining her breasts filling his hands filled him with a painful need, and he shifted in his chair, forcibly reminding himself that his mother and daughter were in the room.

  Kristen. I love Kristen, he told himself again. It was becoming something of a mantra. He repeated it constantly in his mind, hoping somehow his body would get the message. What he felt for Gena was just some kind of confused lust, and he’d better remember that.

  * * * * *

  A tiny shiver tickled Gena’s spine, and she tried to pretend she didn’t notice how Travis was staring at her—practically devouring her with his gaze. She tried to focus on whatever inane topic Barbara had deemed safe for discussion, but all of her senses were held captive by those brilliant blue eyes. What was he doing?

  She frowned in his direction, not looking directly at him, but trying to send him a message. If he was attempting to convince his mother she had nothing to do with postponing his wedding, undressing her with his eyes at the dinner table was not the best way to go about it.

  But would I want him to stop if our family wasn’t here at the table? No, she didn’t think she would—or could. There was no sense in lying to herself. She wasn’t exactly putty in his hands, but she knew her desire for him was stronger than her willpower—or her common sense. She just hoped he wouldn’t test her resolve and act on the thoughts that were making him look at her that way.

  “So where are your parents now, Gena?” David Ryan asked in a sincerely interested voice, and she gave him her full attention.

  “They’re in Florida. They moved there about a year after I opened the Inn.”

  With that, the conversation moved smoothly into small talk, with Mia doing most of the talking. Gena served dessert and coffee, and they all breathed a sigh of relief when it was time for the Ryans to leave—all three of them.

  Chapter Seven

  “She actually said that to you?” Jill said as they walked down Main Street.

  Gena nodded at her best friend. “I swear she did. She made it sound like I was letting strange men camp out on Mia’s floor.”

  “I can’t believe you didn’t throw her out!”

  “I couldn’t. She’s Travis’s mother—Mia’s grandmother. I have to be nice to her. And I think I did pretty well.”

  Jill snorted and tossed her blonde ponytail. “Then
you must be a saint. I remember old Babs. Always had her nose so high up in the air I thought she’d drown every time it rained.”

  They walked in silence for a while, enjoying the sun and the fresh air. Occasionally they nodded to people they knew, and they stopped to buy juice at the natural food store.

  “What’s new and exciting in your life?” Gena asked, eager to talk and think about anything but the Ryan family.

  Jill rolled her eyes. “This is me, remember? Nothing new and exciting ever happens to me. Let’s sit in the park. I want to hear more about Travis Ryan.”

  “There’s nothing to tell,” Gena insisted, but it was hard to lie to her best friend. Sometimes it seemed Jill knew her better than she knew herself.

  “Spill it, girl.”

  “I think I’m falling in love with him,” she blurted out when they sat on the park’s granite benches.

  Jill didn’t react at all the way she expected her to. She just stared. “Again?”

  Gena frowned at her friend. “You don’t sound very surprised. And it’s not again. It’s different this time.”

  “I was just teasing you—having some fun. I didn’t realize you were this serious about him.” Jill gave her a rare grave look. “He’s taken, Gena. He’s getting married, remember?”

  How could she forget? “But not yet. They postponed the wedding. He said maybe next year.”

  That got a raised eyebrow. “Did he say why?”

  “They have to sort some stuff out—” she paused, rolling the juice bottle between her hands “—and he kissed me.”

  “What?” Jill gripped her elbow. “He kissed you? What did you do?”

  Gena used her thumbnail to pick at the label, peeling it away from the glass in thin sheets. She didn’t think confession was as good for the soul as she’d heard. “I kissed him back.”

  “Wow.”

  Gena laughed, but there wasn’t much humor in it. “That’s it? Wow? Where’s the sage advice I count on you for?”

  “I don’t know what to say, other than I’ll be here for you when you get your heart broken.”

  Gena felt a flash of anger directed at her best friend—something that hadn’t happened in years. Was it so inconceivable that Travis would fall in love with her and break his engagement? He had kissed her, after all.

  But then he had called it a mistake and vowed it would never happen again. Jill was right, and she couldn’t deny it. “It’s too late. My heart’s already breaking.”

  “You have to stop this,” Jill said earnestly. “It’s not funny anymore. Not only is this going to tear you apart, but think about what it will do to Mia.”

  “I think Mia wants us to be together.” It was a sorry excuse and she knew it.

  “Of course she does, but she’s only fifteen. You’re an adult and you know that even if he’s not getting married this fall, he’s still engaged. You can’t steal another woman’s guy. It’s not right, and even if you had him first, that was a long time ago.”

  “Believe me, I know that. It’s just…”

  Jill put her arm around Gena. “We’ve been best friends for as long as I can remember, so it really hurts me to say this. Travis Ryan is not the man for you.”

  “Travis is the man for me. I’m just not the woman for him.”

  “Speak of the devil,” Jill whispered and Gena jerked her head up.

  Sure enough, Travis was just emerging from the barber shop, and despite her quick and fervent prayers, he spotted them. Instead of simply returning her quick wave he made his way across the street.

  She watched his long, sure strides and felt an ache in the small of her back. She knew she was staring—maybe even ogling—but couldn’t tear her eyes away from him.

  The light breeze ruffled his hair and the sunlight danced across the golden strands. The T-shirt he wore stretched across his chest and shoulders, and she admired the way his jeans hugged his legs. She heard Jill’s appreciative sigh and had to agree wholeheartedly.

  As he grew nearer to the park he didn’t smile, but he didn’t look angry. She was thankful for that, at least. After confessing her feelings to Jill she was too vulnerable for a confrontation with him. He did smile a little when he reached them.

  “Hi, Gena. I was just going up to the Inn to find you.”

  Jill gave her a none-too-subtle nudge in the ribs with her elbow. “Travis, this is Jill Delaney. I don’t know if you remember her. She was behind us in school.”

  He shook her hand. “We didn’t travel in the same circles, but I do remember you. Aren’t you the one who glued all Mrs. Paddock’s books closed?”

  “Yup, that was me,” Jill said proudly. “But, I’ve got to run. Errands, you know?”

  “No, you don’t,” Gena said, hoping she didn’t sound as desperate as she felt. She didn’t feel strong enough to talk to Travis alone at the moment.

  “Yes, I do.” She was already walking away. “See you later.”

  Gena bit down on what she wanted to say and vowed to have a talk with her best friend later about loyalty. To declare that Travis wasn’t the man for her, then purposely leave her alone with him was just plain mean.

  “Why were you looking for me?” she asked when Travis had taken a seat on another bench. “Are there more of your relatives who can’t wait to see me again?”

  “I wanted to apologize for the way my mother behaved,” he said, grinning sheepishly at her. “If I’d known she was going to be like that I would have had her meet Mia somewhere else.”

  “It’s okay. I’m sorry Mia spilled the beans about your wedding. She didn’t know you hadn’t said anything to your mom.”

  He looked down at his hands, giving Gena an opportunity to get her fill of him. His hair was lightened at the ends by the summer sun, and his tan was deepening as he spent more time outside walking around town. She sighed wistfully, making him look at her again.

  “I wasn’t entirely honest last night,” he said. “And it’s probably better that we have this conversation in public, rather than at the Inn.”

  Uh-oh. What was it with him, anyway? Most men dreaded having serious discussions, but that seemed to be all he wanted to do. “Okay.”

  “You are part of the reason Kristen and I aren’t getting married now.”

  Gena swallowed, and had a hard time doing it. “Because of the…kiss?”

  He shrugged and looked down at the grass. “Yes. That’s a big part of it. But also because I want to kiss you again. I think about it a lot, actually.”

  Her heart did a somersault in her chest, and she had to concentrate to keep herself from grinning like a fool. He did want to kiss her again, so maybe her dreams weren’t so farfetched after all.

  He continued in a rush of words. “It’s not fair to marry Kristen while I have these…thoughts about you. But I will marry her, because I love her—and whatever I feel for you, it’s not that. It’s just some kind of mixed up attraction—maybe because you’re the mother of my child. I don’t know.”

  Gena’s hopes deflated like a popped balloon. Her burst of laughter was short and bitter, a poor attempt at disguising the ache his words caused in her belly. “That’s certainly flattering.”

  “I’m not trying to hurt your feelings, Gena. I just think it’s better to get it all out in the open now, so we can be done with it.”

  “What is your obsession with talking everything to death?” she demanded in a raised voice. “It was a kiss, Travis. That’s it—nothing more. Forget it and move on.”

  He looked into her eyes. “I can’t forget it. That’s the problem.”

  At any other time in her life that kind of statement probably would have made her jump for joy, but not now—not so soon after Jill had reminded her so adamantly of Travis’s unavailability. Not so soon after he had reaffirmed his decision to marry Kristen.

  Gena was tempted to get up and walk away. He wouldn’t try to stop her because a scuffle in a public place wasn’t his style.

  “And I’m not talking it to d
eath,” he continued. “I’ve barely managed to get two words out of you about it.”

  Since he was so determined to be a little black cloud and rain on her sunny day, she leaned back against the tree trunk behind her and waited.

  “I’m going to make myself pretty scarce around the Inn from now on,” he said. “When I pick up Mia I’ll just wait in the driveway, and if we need to talk about something, we can do it over the phone.

  “I hate myself for what I’m doing to everybody, especially Kristen. I feel like a jerk, and I’m sick of it. I want to…I want to sleep with you, Gena—but I’m not going to, and that’s the bottom line.”

  Gena didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “You can’t break up with me, Travis. We aren’t dating.”

  He looked at her, then shook his head. “You know what I mean. I’m talking about this thing that’s between us.”

  “There is no thing. And there’s not going to be a thing. You are getting married—eventually. And whether you believe it or not, I don’t really want to hurt Kristen either. She’s going to be Mia’s stepmother and it’s pretty important she and I have a good relationship.”

  But it’s all just logic, Travis thought. And logic was having no effect on the confusion and guilt he had been wrapped up in since seeing Gena again for the first time.

  He had tried telling himself that it was only because his intimate relationship with Kristen had been in a slump recently. He even tried convincing himself wanting to make love to Gena was some sort of attempt on the part of his subconscious to be a real family for Mia. He had tried everything.

  “You’ve been with Kristen for a long time,” Gena said softly. “Do you love her?”

  “Yes,” Travis said quickly, not letting himself stop to wonder if it was true—if he was still in love with her.

  “Then you need to remember that. Physical attraction comes and goes, but if you love a woman and she loves you, then you should try not to screw it up.”

  She was right. So why did it hurt so much to hear her say it? “So, I…I’ll try not to bump into you too much then.”