Can I Let You Go?
Page 27
It’s so very sad to lose a beloved parent or grandparent, but my father’s legacy, his love of life, his devotion to his family, his kindness, understanding and patience, not just with my children but with all those we fostered, will stay with us forever. I believe it is a testament to the way I was raised that my family is the happy one it is today, and for that I am truly grateful.
Epilogue
A new child arrived on 2 January, so I was very busy, but not so busy that I didn’t think of Faye and wonder how she was doing. Once a child or younger person leaves a foster carer the social services no longer keep the carer informed of the child’s progress, which is a great pity. Any news comes from hearing it by chance or from the child keeping in touch, as it’s considered unprofessional for a carer to initiate contact after the child has left. It is thought that it could hinder them bonding with their permanent family and therefore moving on with their lives, although that’s not my view. I believe you can never have too many people in your life who love you.
I was delighted, therefore, when halfway through January I received a photograph from Patsy of Edward’s first Christmas. The covering note said that Edward was doing well and she thought I might like the enclosed photograph. She’d sent some to Becky for Faye and concluded by wishing me a belated happy New Year and hoped we were all well. I immediately texted a thank you to her. I showed the photograph to Paula, Lucy and Adrian before putting it carefully in the family album.
Then one morning towards the end of January, as I picked up the mail from the front doormat I saw what I thought looked like Faye’s handwriting on one of the envelopes. I quickly tore it open and a letter and three photographs fell out. Two of the photographs were of horses in their stables, and the other was of Faye proudly sitting on a horse and smiling broadly. I read the letter.
Dear Cathy, Paula, Lucy, Adrian and Sammy,
Thank you for my lovely Christmas presents. Gran and Grandpa say thank you for theirs. Gran is helping me write this letter with the spellings. Grandpa showed me how to use the camera and I have taken lots of photographs. Some of Gran and Grandpa, some of the day centre and lots of the horses at the stables. I am sending you pictures of my favourite horses. I hope you are all well. Thank you for looking after me.
Love Faye (Stan and Wilma)
I was very moved, and after I’d shown the photographs to my family I added the one of Faye sitting on a horse to the album. I have many family photograph albums, built up over the years, and always include pictures of the children I’ve fostered, for they are always part of my extended family.
Later that year I bumped into Becky as I came out of a meeting at the council offices, and she was good enough to give me an update. She said Faye was well and happy and had settled into her old routine. Stan and Wilma were well too. They had finally been offered a ground-floor flat not far away from where they lived now, and would move at the end of the month. I eagerly awaited news of Edward, and was finally rewarded. Becky said that he’d been placed for adoption with the childless couple who had originally been matched for him before Faye had changed her mind. Lewis and his family, together with the social services, had decided that realistically they couldn’t bring up his child, so it would be kinder for Edward to be adopted as soon as possible. Like Faye’s decision this too was selfless and put the child’s best interests first. I asked if Lewis was ever interviewed by the police about his relationship with Faye, and Becky said he wasn’t. I was pleased; he seemed like a good lad. She said that when she had talked to Faye about what had happened, her account had matched Lewis’s, so no crime had been committed. Becky added that when Stan had been told of the circumstances in which Edward had been conceived, and not being a fan of the soaps on television, he’d said, ‘I knew no good would come of watching those daft programmes, and I’ve been proved right!’ Becky didn’t say if Lewis continued to see Faye, but she did say that Stan and Wilma had remained friends with their neighbours and would do so after the move.
Foster carers always hope that the child or young person they are looking after will be able to have a happy ending to their story, but sometimes, as with Faye, that just isn’t possible. Yet, when I look at the photographs of little Edward and the one of Faye smiling broadly at the stables, I think that maybe their story did have a happy ending after all. Faye is now living contentedly with her grandparents again, without the anxiety of a responsibility she would never have been able to cope with. Edward is growing up loved and cherished by a couple who never thought they’d be able to have children and who, thanks to Faye and Lewis’s brave decision, are now able to experience the wonderful gift of parenthood. So, yes, I think it is possible to say that Faye and Edward’s story does have a happy ending, and I wonder if, in years to come, Edward will search out his birth parents, as some adopted children do, and meet them.
For the latest update on Faye and Edward and the other children in my fostering memoirs, please visit www.cathyglass.co.uk.
If you are interested in fostering adults and would like to know more, contact your local authority or independent fostering agency for schemes in your area.
Suggested topics for reading-group discussion
This book gives an insight into fostering adults. What do you think the similarities and differences are between fostering children and fostering an adult with learning difficulties?
What are the challenges in fostering adults with either a learning or physical disability?
Would you describe Faye’s grandparents as overprotective? If so, what would you have done differently if you’d raised Faye?
This book highlights the lack of provision for adults with learning difficulties. Discuss.
Whether to bring the child of a disabled parent into care – and if so, when – must be a difficult decision for any social worker. What criteria would you use in a case such as Faye and Edward’s? How much would the grandparents’ support influence your decision?
Why might Lewis, the father of Faye’s child, be questioned by the police?
Faye has to make a very difficult decision with regard to her child. Is it the right one?
Prior to the birth, what indications were there that Faye might not have managed to parent Edward? Give examples from the text.
It is now generally considered best for an adopted child to grow up aware of their birth family. Discuss the likely positive and negative effects of this.
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