“You know you can call me if—”
“No,” she said firmly. “I won’t need to call you. Goodbye, Saxon.”
It was Saxon’s turn to curse helplessly. She could see in every line of his body that he wanted to help, wanted to save her.
There was no salvation here. If there was, it would have to come from Wyatt. There was nothing Saxon could do.
She heard the door click as he left. With a shuddering breath, she lifted her head to face the man she’d loved for most of her life…the husband whose love she’d just betrayed.
The last thing she expected was his laughter, shaky and low. “Want to hear something rich, Ellie?” The bitter tone scraped at her heart. “I came home to apologize for hurting you.”
“Oh, Wyatt—” She reached for him.
Wyatt recoiled as if she were poison. “Don’t touch me, Ellie. Not now.” His voice pitched as low as her heart. “Not when you’ve had those hands on him.”
Ellie’s stomach rebelled. Every breath hurt. “It—it never happened before, I swear it.” She ached to touch him, to make all this vanish somehow. “Wyatt, I—oh, God, I don’t know what’s happening…how to fix it. I’m so sorry—I swear there’s nothing between us. …Nothing’s happened.”
She lifted her gaze to his, barely daring to hope for forgiveness.
Instead, she saw a stranger. Eyes black with an anger she’d never seen in this man she loved. Mouth a hard line. His voice hoarse, Wyatt answered. “I don’t know you anymore, Ellie. And right now, I don’t have any answers.”
With that, he turned and walked away.
“Wyatt, please—come back. The kids—please, we have to work this out before—”
He paused at the door to the kitchen, one hand on the frame, knuckles white, anguish in every line of his frame. “I wish you’d thought about them before.” His head turned in profile, and she could see his eyes glistening. “If you couldn’t think about what you were doing to me.”
“Wyatt…” She couldn’t breathe. She ached too much for tears. “I love you. I’ve always loved you.”
She heard the wood creak from the pressure of his grip. “Don’t, Ellie. Don’t make a mockery of what we had.” With long strides, he crossed the kitchen and left the house.
Ellie looked around the home they’d created, the nest she’d feathered, the house they’d filled with love and laughter.
And wondered if she’d just turned it all into ashes.
* * *
Hours later, the doorbell rang. Ellie stirred from the sofa where she was huddled under a quilt, despite the warm spring day. Casting a quick glance at the clock, she scrambled out, heart pounding. She was late to meet Sam’s bus.
She raced for the door and jerked it open, her mind already on where her shoes were and how fast she could drive instead of walking the quarter mile to the bus stop.
A neighbor, Candace Harrell, eyed her curiously. Candace’s daughter Nicole and Sam stood beside her. “Are you all right, Ellie? When you weren’t at the bus stop, Sam wanted to walk home by himself, but I didn’t feel right about—What’s wrong?”
Ellie had no idea how she looked, but it couldn’t be good. She’d finally dragged herself to the sofa from the floor where she’d collapsed after Wyatt had left her. She’d been sitting there for hours, it seemed, trying to contain her terror.
“Ellie? Has something happened to—” Candace cast her eyes down at Sam, who was beginning to look worried, too. Wyatt, Candace mouthed the question.
Ellie sucked in a deep breath. Think about the kids. Don’t think about Wyatt. Plowing the fingers of one hand through her hair, she reached out for Sam. “No—” she exhaled. “No, I’m sorry. I was—” What had she been doing before her life fell apart?
She caught Candace’s glance over her shoulder and remembered that her kitchen looked like a war zone. “I decided to clean out all my kitchen cabinets, and I just lost track of time. Thank you so much for bringing Sam.” She tightened her hand around her son’s and felt the first easing of the iron bands that had imprisoned her heart.
“I’m sorry, Sam. I made this terrible mess and it’s taking a long time to fix it.” Oh, God. It’s true. She bit her lip to stifle the threatening tears. “I’m sorry, Candace. I’d invite you in, but I have to get this mess cleaned up before—”
“Oh, I understand. The other kids will be home soon, then Wyatt, and you’ve got supper to fix.” She and Nicole started to turn away, but Candace stopped. “Is there anything I can do?”
For one moment, Ellie wanted to throw herself into this kind woman’s arms and weep out her grief and despair. But Candace would never understand about Saxon or a moment of madness. And this was private…too private to tell anyone. Too shameful.
“No.” She shook her head, dragging up a facsimile of a smile. “I’m not sure I remembered to comb my hair this morning. I look like a wreck, I’m sure.”
Candace laughed. “It’s a huge project for one day. I’ll let you get back to putting things in order.”
If only I could. Ellie squeezed Sam’s hand. “Thank you again, Candace. Please let me return the favor sometime. Can you tell Mrs. Harrell thank you, Sam?”
“Thanks, Mrs. Harrell.”
“You’re welcome, Sam.”
Ellie waved them off and closed the door.
“I’m big enough to walk. It’s not so far, Mom.”
She smoothed a rebellious red curl from his forehead. “But mothers worry.”
“They shouldn’t. A guy has to grow up. I’m not a baby.”
“Oh, Sam. Don’t rush growing up. Enjoy being a kid.” And with those words, the sands of desolation shifted back over her heart, revealing a life barren of not only children…but Wyatt.
“What’s wrong, Mom? Why do you look so sad?”
I wish you’d thought about them before.
Well, she would think about them now. Never mind that she wanted to burrow under the covers and not wake up until this nightmare was over. In this, at least, she had a chance to salvage something from the wreckage. The kids didn’t need to know what she’d done.
Not unless Wyatt left her.
Her knees went weak at the thought that the damage might be permanent.
She couldn’t think about it now. Sam was here. The others would be home soon. Ellie squatted down by her son. “Nothing wrong with me that a hug couldn’t cure.”
And bless him, he chose this moment to be still her little boy, the one who gave hugs freely, not the one who thought he was getting too old. His arms wrapped around her neck and squeezed. Ellie nuzzled his neck, fighting the urge to cry. She breathed in the tangy scent of little boy sweat and let it steady her.
I am a good mother. I was once a good wife. I will find a way to put it all back together, so that we can all be happy again. And I will never, ever look for more.
Standing, she lifted Sam with her, though he was a heavy load. She couldn’t bear to let go yet, so she turned in a circle the way he’d loved when he was little.
Sam threw back his head and arms, watching the ceiling whirl. “Yeah, Mom—go faster!”
Around and around they whirled.
Sam squealed in glee.
And Ellie prayed with every fiber of her being that Sam would never have to suffer for what she’d done.
* * *
Laken trudged up the stairs to her loft. It had been a bitch of a day. Almost ten o’clock, and she was just now getting home. She hoped Michael had gotten her message that she’d be late—and hoped even more that he’d waited up for her.
She threw open the door, smile at the ready. “Come here, you big lug. I need a kiss—”
Slumped on her sofa was a haggard Wyatt Preston.
“What’s wrong? What’s happened?”
Wyatt jerked himself up straight, shaking his head. “I was just leaving.”
Michael entered the room, two bottles of beer in hand. “You want to stay at my place tonight?”
Wyatt stood
up, looking worn and…lost?
“What’s going on? Are Ellie and the kids okay?”
Michael shot her a quick, quelling look, shaking his head.
“Don’t tell me to be quiet, Michael. Ellie’s my friend. So is Wyatt.” She crossed to Wyatt, placing one hand on his arm. “What is it?”
Wyatt looked straight into her eyes, and Laken saw a bleakness that made her heart clench.
“I don’t want to put you in the middle, Laken. Don’t worry—I’ll figure something out. I ran into Michael at the feed store, and he suggested we come here because his place is too close to—” He shook his head as if dazed. “I didn’t mean to still be here when you got home. I just didn’t know where—”
“She’ll have to know sometime, Wyatt.”
The two men traded unspoken messages. Wyatt’s shoulders slumped, and he nodded. “Go ahead.”
Laken could feel the tension singing through his frame. This was a man pushed to his limits.
“It’s Ellie who’s the problem, Laken.”
“How?”
“Wyatt came home unexpectedly and found her. With Saxon.”
“Oh my god. No.” She gripped Wyatt’s arm. “Ellie adores you, Wyatt. She lives for her family.”
His head jerked upward. Desolation warred with rage. “She has a funny way of showing it.”
“But she—”
“Laken,” Michael said firmly. “A defense of Ellie is not what he needs right now.”
She subsided. Nodded. “Oh, Wyatt, I’m so sorry. This can’t be happening—not to you two.”
Bleak again, his eyes studied her. “That’s what I thought, too.” Then he pulled away from her, closing a shell around himself. “I don’t want to talk about it. I’ll see you two later.” He turned toward the door.
Laken shot Michael a helpless look. His answering shrug showed that he’d already tried. “Do you want to stay here tonight, Wyatt? The couch is pretty comfortable. I don’t think you should be alone right now.”
His back to her, Wyatt shook his head. “It doesn’t matter where I am. This isn’t going away. I just have to think.”
“Are you—you know Ellie will be worried.”
He dropped his head. “The kids—I don’t want them to worry—” Turning back, he showed the struggle of humiliation and rage and heartbreak. “Laken, would you—” He swallowed visibly, looking away. “I can’t talk to her tonight. It’s a lot to ask, but would you mind calling to tell her I’m staying at a motel?”
“I said you were welcome at my place,” Michael offered.
He shook his head. “The kids would see my truck there.”
Laken had to speak past a lump in her throat. “Please, Wyatt. Stay here. Don’t be alone tonight.”
“She’ll be alone, too.”
“She’s got the kids.”
“And a lot of explaining.” He shook his head again. “No, I can’t. Thank you—thank you both. I appreciate what you’re trying to do. But I just have to figure out the next step.”
“She loves you deeply, Wyatt. You know that.”
He looked unutterably weary. “But somehow, I’m not enough anymore. And I have to figure out how to deal with that.” Opening the door, he glanced back. “Thanks, Michael. Sorry for wrecking your evening.”
“That’s what friends are for.”
“Goodnight.” Closing the door quietly, Wyatt was gone.
Laken could hardly breathe. “Michael, how can that be? What was she thinking?” She glanced up at him. “Who can possibly think they have a prayer, if Ellie and Wyatt can’t make it?”
“Come here.” He pulled her into his arms. “We’re not them.”
But she couldn’t relax against him, not now. Visions of doom danced in her brain. She pulled back. “No. We’re not. I’ll never be the person Ellie is. Marriage doesn’t work, don’t you see? It’s just too much to expect for two people to spend their lives together and be happy.”
“It’s better to be alone?”
“Maybe. I don’t know. I just know that if you have five kids and years of love and still it doesn’t work, then there’s no hope for the rest of us.”
“Bullshit, Laken.” Michael jerked her around to face him. “Life has no guarantees. But that doesn’t mean you just give up without trying. Where would you be in your career if you’d taken that attitude?”
But Laken couldn’t hear him for the fears crowding her head. She backed away, shaking her head. “I have to go call Ellie. She must be out of her mind with worry.”
Michael exhaled loudly. “Go, then. But we’re not finished with this discussion.”
Laken didn’t argue. But she knew. If the most perfect marriage she’d ever seen was breaking up, what hope was there for someone like her?
* * *
Ellie paced her bedroom, glancing at the clock. It hadn’t been hard to put Sam to bed because Wyatt wasn’t always home before his bedtime, especially lately. But when it came to the other kids, platitudes and vague excuses wouldn’t work for long. As the hour grew later, they wondered, she knew. As did she. Where was Wyatt?
Please, God, let him be safe. Let him be angry, if that must be—but don’t let him be hurt. Don’t let him have run off the road somewhere or—
The phone rang. Ellie pounced. “Wyatt?”
“No, it’s not Wyatt,” Laken said. But by the condemnation in her voice, Ellie could tell that she knew what had happened.
She sat down on the edge of her bed, gripping the phone. “Do you—” She closed her eyes, her voice lowering to a whisper. “Has he—?”
“He’s not here, but he’s all right. At least, his body is.”
Ellie hunched over, trying to stem the sick ache in her stomach. “Where is he?”
“He’s spending the night at a motel. I don’t know which one. Michael and I both offered to let him stay with us.”
“I have to go see him.”
“I don’t think he wants to see you, Ellie.” Laken huffed out a breath, then her voice strengthened. “What the hell were you thinking? You have the best husband in the world. How could you do that to him?”
“We didn’t—Laken, it was only a kiss.” But it so easily could have been more.
“Wyatt couldn’t look any more devastated if you’d been screwing Saxon on the courthouse square. What a dumbass thing to do, and for what?” Laken was practically shouting now. “I don’t care if he’s the greatest fuck in the history of man—Saxon can’t possibly be worth risking what you have.”
Ellie didn’t try to defend herself. There was no excuse.
Laken’s voice lowered, but her tone was still intense. “I’m sorry, Ellie. I just don’t understand. You have a marriage anyone would kill to have, and you risked everything. I’m angry as hell, but I still care about you. Make me understand. What were you thinking?”
“I don’t know.” The tears she hadn’t been able to shed flowed freely now. Ellie couldn’t stifle a sob.
Laken’s voice gentled. “Do you want me to come over?”
“No. I don’t deserve—”
“Oh, cut the crap. You haven’t murdered anyone. You’ve made a really stupid mistake, but you’re not a pariah.”
“Wyatt’s alone. I just want Wyatt.”
“I don’t think you’re going to have him tonight. He’s hurt—badly. I’ve never seen him like that.”
“Oh, God, Laken. I never meant…I don’t know why it happened. I love Wyatt. I love my children. It was just that—” She fell silent.
“I’m coming over.”
“No—don’t. The kids will know something’s wrong.”
“You really think they don’t already know? You wear your feelings on your face, Ellie.”
“I told them he was working late.”
“And when he’s not there in the morning?”
“I’ll—” Ellie couldn’t breathe for crying so hard. “I have to go.”
“He asked me to call you so you wouldn’t worry.”
&n
bsp; “He did? To call me?”
There was a pause. “Well—”
Ellie’s heart sank. “He didn’t want the kids to worry.”
“He knows you love him. He’s just—”
“I betrayed him, Laken. The man I’ve loved since I was fourteen. I never meant for it to happen. Saxon just showed up and he—”
“Did he force you?” Laken sounded ready to leap to her defense.
“No—it’s not his fault. Don’t blame Saxon. I was weak. He asked me if he could kiss me. He told me he loved me and he wanted me so badly…it was just so unbelievable, you know? A man like Saxon wanting me.” Then she started to sob harder. “But I never, ever wanted to hurt Wyatt. He just—he’s so busy and no one really needs me anymore, and there was this golden god of a man—oh, Laken, I’ve wrecked everything and I don’t know what to do.”
“I’m coming over, Ellie.”
“No—please. Please, Laken, don’t. I’ll get through this, somehow. It’s Wyatt who should have the comfort tonight. Take care of him.”
“I would if I could, but he wanted to be alone.”
Ellie studied the gold band on her left hand. “I want to go to him so badly, but I don’t know what to say. What do I do, Laken?”
Laken’s laugh was bitter, and Ellie began to realize that it wasn’t just her family she’d damaged. “You ask me that? You’re the one with the perfect marriage.”
Sharp pains clawed in her belly. “Not anymore,” she whispered.
“I’m sorry—I shouldn’t have said that. It’s just that I looked up to you and Ava. You two had it all.”
Ava. What would she say? Ellie couldn’t face it. “Don’t tell anyone what’s happened, Laken. Please.”
“You can’t hope to hide this.”
“But I—” The kids. She had to hide this from them, at least until she’d found out what Wyatt intended to do. “Please. At least until I hear from Wyatt.”
Laken sighed. “All right, on one condition. You have to let me know if you need me. For anything. Don’t beat yourself to death over this. It won’t do anyone any good. The kids need you to be strong, so you reach out for help if you need it.”
If she could get through this night, she’d think about the future. She could buy one more day by telling them that Wyatt had an early foundation pour. It had happened before.
The Book Babes Boxed Set (Texas Ties/Texas Troubles/Texas Together) Page 25
