Please, Wyatt. Please come back. Hate me, punish me—but don’t leave me. Give me a chance to make you love me again.
“Ellie? Are you there? Tell me you’ll call me if you need me, or I’m headed over there right now.”
“Don’t come. I—I promise.” But she knew she’d never call. Wyatt deserved comfort, not her. “Please, Laken—take care of Wyatt if you can. Let me know if—”
Laken’s voice held the knowledge that Ellie was the last person Wyatt wanted to see right now. “I will. I promise. Michael and I will keep an eye on him.”
“Thank you.”
“Get some sleep, Ellie. You haven’t done anything as bad as me on my best day. Remember my checkered past.”
Ellie tried to appreciate the humor. But it wasn’t true. Laken might have had sex with married men, but she wasn’t breaking any vows—they were. Laken had never betrayed anyone but herself.
“Thank you for calling me.”
“I care about you, friend.”
“I don’t know why. But thank you.” Ellie’s voice was barely a whisper as she hung up.
Chapter Four
‡
Sylvie rapped on the door of Saxon’s studio, impatient to wrap up loose ends. Her mother seemed to have reached a plateau, her condition still terminal but steady the last few days. Sylvie was trying to get things in order because she’d realized last night that she needed to be there, in case the miracle happened. In case Margo came back, even for a second.
Foolish and futile. Even Gabe’s kind eyes told her it was. But Sylvie didn’t care. Even if her mother never woke up, Sylvie had to be there with her at the end. Margo had given up many things in her life to be there for Sylvie. Sylvie would not desert her mother.
“Come on, Saxon.” She banged harder, bruising her knuckle. “I’m trying to make you some money. Answer the door.”
“Who is it?” The voice hardly sounded like him.
“Open up, Saxon. It’s Sylvie.”
“Not today.”
“What do you mean, not today? Saxon, my mother’s dying, and I don’t have time for you to be a temperamental artist. Open this door.” Even Sylvie was shocked by the surge of anger.
He cracked the door a few inches. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” Before she could get inside, he turned away and disappeared into the shadows.
Sylvie frowned and stepped through the door. “Saxon, I have an offer on one of your paintings. I need an answer right—” A glimpse of his haggard face shocked her. “What’s wrong? Are you sick?”
“No.” He turned away. His voice was rough and strained. “Just leave it on the table, and I’ll take care of it.”
With quick steps, she followed him, grasped his elbow and turned him toward her. His muscles trembled with restrained violence, like a racehorse about to burst from its chute.
But it was the look in his eyes that kept her from fearing him. He looked devastated…destroyed.
“Sylvie, please. Go away. I promise I’ll sign whatever it is.”
But she couldn’t leave him. Somewhere deep inside him, Saxon Gaillard was hurt. Badly. “Talk to me. What happened?” Then suddenly she knew. “Oh, God. Ellie.”
The quick dart of anguish showed her she’d scored a direct hit.
“What happened?”
A Saxon she’d never met before stared out at her from those electric blue eyes. This man wasn’t arrogant, wasn’t dismissive, wasn’t self-absorbed.
This man was in mortal pain.
Fear chilled her blood. “Is Ellie all right?” She touched his arm again, and he jerked like a wounded animal. “I can tell you’re not. Talk to me, Saxon.”
“No—there’s nothing to do. I can’t—” His fingers clawed through his hair. Then he looked back at her, his gaze pleading. “I don’t know how to help her, Sylvie. She swore he wouldn’t hurt her, but—”
“Oh, God. What have you done?”
His bent head rose swiftly. “It was one kiss. Just…one kiss.” But his eyes were lost in memory.
Then rage flared. “I never meant to hurt her. She’s everything that’s good, everything a man could want, and I’d never—”
His powerful frame sagged. “But I did. She was scared and hurt and I only meant to comfort her, but…” His voice sank to a whisper. “But I went too far. And she sent me away and wouldn’t let me protect her from him.”
“Wyatt would never hurt Ellie. He loves her deeply. And you—” Sylvie wanted to scream you had no right, but the man before her was doing a good enough job of flagellating himself. He would know that a kiss would be as serious a betrayal, in Ellie’s eyes, as being caught in bed with him. Sylvie could well imagine Wyatt’s devastation at catching them.
He heard the words she didn’t speak, gazing through eyes gone dark with shame. “I know. I know all of it. I understand that I have no right to want her, no right to destroy her life. I tried to keep her in the dark, to hide how I felt.” Saxon pinned her with an angry gaze. “But he’s not taking good care of her, Sylvie. She’s in need of something I can give her.”
“Ellie will never leave her family for you, Saxon. Never.”
His eyes were bleak. “I know.”
Though she was worried sick about Ellie, Sylvie couldn’t help feeling compassion for the haunted man before her. He was a shadow of the fierce Viking warrior. “I’m sorry, Saxon. Sorry for both of you. I was afraid of this.”
“Why?” He seemed genuinely curious. “I kept how I felt under wraps, and Ellie never gave me an inkling that she cared.”
Sylvie had to laugh softly at that. “Your paintings. Both of you poured your souls into your work. I never imagined this would happen until I saw the paintings the two of you were doing. Then I was almost relieved that you wanted to keep yours so that no one else would find out what I could see shouting from every stroke.”
For a moment, he was a vulnerable young man in love. “In hers, too?”
Tears pricked at her eyes. He wanted confirmation of a tenderness Ellie would never admit. She could give him this much, though she would yank away hope at the same moment. “Yes, Saxon. Can’t you see it? But she won’t do anything about it.”
His gaze darted across the studio to Ellie’s easel. Like a man in a daze, he crossed the floor to stand before it and study it with greedy eyes.
Then he spoke to her over his shoulder. “I never wanted to fall in love.”
Sylvie smiled fondly. “No one can help loving Ellie. She’s a fountain of it, and we all drink in the healing waters.”
“I was just another one of her charity cases, wasn’t I?”
She should say yes to put an end to his longing. But his ravaged heart needed the truth. “No, Saxon. You were something altogether different. You brought Ellie out of her shell. You made her blossom.”
His back still toward her, he stiffened. “But she won’t be back, will she?”
“No. She won’t be back.”
He was silent for a long time. “I want to go to her, to talk to her, to ask her to forgive me…to find a way to make it right.” Then he turned and his devastation was complete. “But I’m denied even that.”
She didn’t need to confirm it.
“Please, Sylvie…go help her.” His voice grew hoarse, his gaze naked and pleading. “And if there’s anything—anything I can do…”
She nodded. “I will.” She hesitated. “What about this sale?”
His gaze turned thunderous. “I don’t give a rat’s ass about the sale. Make sure Ellie’s going to be all right.”
“Okay, Saxon. I’ll see what I can find out.” At the door, she halted, hand on the knob. “For what it’s worth, I believe you. I know you wouldn’t hurt her.”
His voice was low and strained. “But I did…and I’ll never forgive myself.”
She turned back at that. “But Ellie will forgive you.”
His eyes went bleak again. “I know…and that’s my punishment.”
* * *
Av
a’s phone indicated she had a voicemail. She’d silenced it during the welcome reception. It was always fun to see old friends at writers’ conferences, but now there was a new twist that had both thrilled and appalled her. Her success was being taken differently by some than others. In a profession as insecure by nature as writing, there would always be those, she supposed, with claws sharpened and waiting.
Tom’s voice reassured her that he and the kids were fine, but he sounded troubled and urged her to call right away.
She went to her hotel room for privacy.
“Hello?”
“Tom, what’s wrong?”
“Good evening to you, too.” But his chuckle had a slight edge.
“Are you okay? The kids?”
“We’re fine, just fine. This may not be anything at all, but Sylvie was really worried, and Luisa agreed that you would want to know.”
“Luisa?”
“She was in my office when Sylvie called. Something’s happened to Ellie.”
All concerns about Luisa being in his office fled. “What do you mean? She’s hurt?”
“Apparently, Saxon was at her house, and Wyatt caught them together. Saxon told Sylvie it was only one kiss, but Ellie hasn’t talked to anyone but Laken.”
“Oh, God, Tom.” One kiss, in Ellie’s view, would damn her for all time. “I’m going to call her.”
“Sylvie says she’s not answering the phone.”
“What about the kids? And Wyatt?”
“Laken says he’s really torn up over it. He didn’t go home last night.”
Ava sat down. “This is horrible. I—Tom, I was afraid of this.”
“What has she told you?”
“She hasn’t said a word. But listening to her talk about Saxon, knowing how much she’s floundering…he made her feel special in a way no one ever has.”
“Wyatt’s never done a damn thing to deserve this.”
“I don’t think she wanted this to happen. I think she couldn’t help herself. She’s just been so lost.”
“Want me to try to see her?”
Ava smiled. “I think you’ve got too much to do to constantly play rescuer to my friends.” Her stomach hurt for her friend. “Oh, Tom. They had the perfect marriage.”
“Nobody’s marriage is perfect.”
I thought ours was. Could she even say how much this situation frightened her? The bulwark of Ellie and Wyatt had fallen away. Now only she and Tom were left. “Do you think Wyatt suspected anything?”
“They say the innocent spouse is the last to know.”
Ava shivered, just a little, at his words. “Poor Ellie. And poor Wyatt. Surely this can be mended.” But she wondered and voiced her thoughts. “How do you ever learn to forget the betrayal?”
“You don’t think he’ll forgive her?”
“I hope he will, but forgetting is another matter. How do you trust that person again? Innocence lost can never be restored whole. Could you forget the breach?” Tears pricked at her eyes.
“Hey, it’s all right,” he soothed. “It’s them, not us, sweetheart. We’re fine.”
Suddenly the shocks came too close together, having a writer friend she trusted turn on her in public and having Ellie’s buffer vanish. “I wish I could come home right now.”
“Me, too, babe. Something go wrong there?”
Her voice was thick with tears. “Fran slipped in several digs at my expense at the reception tonight.”
“She’s jealous. Her career’s going nowhere.”
“I hate this, Tom. It’s costing too much.”
He was silent long enough for her to voice his thought.
“I know. Nobody is making me do this. It’s what I wanted, but I just didn’t know the price. Why couldn’t I be happy simply learning new recipes and doing volunteer work?”
He chuckled then. “Because there’s a fire in your belly, babe. There are all these imaginary friends who clamor to get out of your head where other people can love them.”
“Is it costing us too much?” She held her breath.
“You’re letting that vivid imagination run away with you. It’s Ellie and Wyatt who are having trouble, not us. Don’t start spinning out this story and making us live it.”
She clutched the phone tightly, pressing her free hand over her stomach. “I just…sometimes I get scared.”
“Sweetheart, you’re tired. You’ve been traveling most of the day and you’re in a different time zone. You’ve had to fend off a traitor and hear that your dearest friend’s marriage is in trouble…and you’re alone in a hotel room.” His voice dropped lower, soothing her. “Go get ready for bed and then call me back and I’ll talk you to sleep.”
She smiled faintly. “I got carried away again.”
“Yeah.” His smile came through the line. “You did. Now go get ready for bed and call me back. I’ll be here.”
Tears did flow, then. “I love you so much.”
“I love you, too, babe. We’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Only fools are sure, Ava. But look how long we’ve lasted.”
She tried to be comforted by that. “I should call Ellie first.”
He chuckled. “That’s my girl. All right, Mother Ava, go do your angel of mercy stint. Then call me back.”
“Tom?” Guilt had claws. “This is my fault. I pushed her to take those lessons.”
“You weren’t the only one. And Ellie’s a big girl.”
“Not big enough to handle this. Bless her, she’s got to be devastated.”
“They both are. Saxon, too, from what Sylvie says.”
“Why does something like this happen? None of them deserve it.”
“Human nature, babe. It’s messy. I’ll talk to you later, all right?”
“All right.”
“Love you.”
“I love you, too.”
* * *
“Hello?” the young voice answered.
“Hi, Sambo. It’s Ava. How are you, sweetie?”
“I’m okay.” But his voice lacked its natural exuberance. “My mom’s sick.”
“She is? Are you kids doing all right?”
“Sure, except Davy won’t let me watch the show I want to watch. He says he’s in charge until Dad comes back.”
Her heart sank. “Is your dad on a trip?”
“Yeah. Mom said he’s away for a few days.”
“Do you all need anything? Tom could come over, if you want.”
“Would he make Davy let me watch my show?”
She had to smile at that. “I’m not sure.”
“Well, then, never mind.”
“Sweetie, could I please talk to your mom now?”
“We’re not supposed to bother her. She said she was going to sleep.”
“Do me a favor, Sam. Put Davy on the phone.”
“Davy went to the store.”
“Is Sarah there?”
“Yeah.”
“Could you get her for me, please?”
“Okay.” He yelled Sarah’s name so loudly, Ava had to hold the phone away from her ear. “She’ll be right here.”
“Thank you. And Sam? Tell Davy he can call Tom if he needs anything. I’ll be back in two days and I’ll come by.”
“Okay.” The phone landed on a hard surface with a clatter.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Sarah, it’s Ava. How are you?”
“I’m…all right.” This child knew something was wrong.
“Sam tells me Ellie’s not feeling well.”
“She’s sleeping a lot.”
“Do you all need anything? I’m out of town, but Tom could come over.”
“No…we’re okay.” But her voice dragged, just on the edge of tears.
“Sarah, I know you’re supposed to be letting your mother sleep, but I really need to talk to her. Could you get her on the phone for me?”
“She doesn’t seem to want to talk to anyone, even us.”
“Just go
tell her that I need her.” If anything would get Ellie on the phone, that would.
“All right.”
“Thank you. And Sarah? Take down my number in case you need me.”
Sarah dutifully recorded the number. In seconds, Ellie was on the phone. “Ava? What’s the matter?”
“Has Sarah hung up the phone?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Now you talk.”
“Me?” Ellie sighed. “You tricked me.”
“Tom said you weren’t taking calls.”
Ellie’s voice cracked. “Does everyone in the whole world know?”
“They’re hunting up the red paint for your scarlet A now.”
Her voice hitched on a sob. “It’s not funny, Ava.”
“It’s not the end of the world, either.”
“But it is. Wyatt didn’t come home last night.”
“He’s a man. Their egos bruise easily.”
“Don’t be flippant. He was devastated. I betrayed him. I broke our vows.” Her voice shrilled. “I can’t…I don’t know how to make it right. I’ve hurt him so badly, and I never—”
“Ellie, stop. Getting hysterical won’t help.”
“Ava, he’ll never forgive me. And I don’t blame him.”
“It was one kiss, Ellie. One simple kiss.”
Ellie’s silence was damning.
“Ellie? Was it more important than that?” Ava tensed. “Are you in love with Saxon?”
Another long silence. Then barely a whisper. “I don’t know.”
Ava was shaken, too, now. “You don’t mean that.”
“I don’t want to—Ava, I’m scared. It—it’s so incredible having a man like that want me, and that’s what he said.” Softly, she spoke again. “He said he loves me. That I’m like an angel. That he wants me so badly he dreams about me. Me. Plain old Ellie.”
This was worse than anything she’d expected. She had to tread carefully, so she didn’t bruise Ellie’s fragile ego. Meanwhile, she wanted to kill Saxon herself. “Ellie, maybe he…” What to say?
“You don’t have to tell me how odd it is. A man like Saxon and…me? But oh, Ava, I’ve never felt passion like that. It was…indescribable. He makes me feel special.”
“You are special. Everyone but you knows that.”
The Book Babes Boxed Set (Texas Ties/Texas Troubles/Texas Together) Page 26
