Frightful, isn’t it? The way the old fool scowls?
SECOND MAID
Terrible, the way his frown forks like an anchor.
ODYSSEUS
One wiry noon, out there, on the purple water.
FIRST MAID
Get away, you bug-eyed lobster! Draw in your claws.
ODYSSEUS
Yes.
(The MAIDS laugh.)
I was fishing and caught you. Where was it? Please?
EURYCLEIA
Set of scandalous prick-teasers.
(MAIDS exit, laughing, throwing fishes. ARNAEUS enters, a huge swineherd with an eye-patch, in a filthy sheepskin.)
What you want now?
ARNAEUS
Not you, you dried-up old stick. I just brought some in.
EURYCLEIA
Eumaeus’ pigs are better.
ARNAEUS
Who says so, you sow?
EURYCLEIA
I say so.
ARNAEUS
A dog’s dying near the garbage bin.
(EURYCLEIA exits.)
ODYSSEUS
Hello.
(ARNAEUS crosses to ODYSSEUS.)
ARNAEUS
‘Hello, sir,’ said the dog. And who are you?
ODYSSEUS
I’m nobody.
ARNAEUS
We don’t like nobodies round here.
ODYSSEUS
That could be.
ARNAEUS
What?
ODYSSEUS
I said that could be.
ARNAEUS
Don’t argue.
(ODYSSEUS gives the Cyclops salute.)
ODYSSEUS
Sir!
ARNAEUS
Don’t be smart either. Don’t come on sarcastic.
ODYSSEUS
What happened to your eye?
ARNAEUS
None of your goddamned business.
ODYSSEUS
You keep rams?
ARNAEUS
So?
ODYSSEUS
Didn’t I put it out with a stake?
ARNAEUS
Oh, you did? I see. He’s crazy. That wasn’t nice.
(Throws ODYSSEUS off his stool.)
ODYSSEUS
You herded rams on the cliffs of the Cyclades.
ARNAEUS
Rams? You open your mouth and I’ll ram it with swill!
ODYSSEUS
Don’t you remember?
ARNAEUS
What?
ODYSSEUS
Us, pulling our oar-blades?
(ARNAEUS empties slop over ODYSSEUS.)
ARNAEUS
Enjoy.
ODYSSEUS
Throwing a ship-sized boulder from your hill?
ARNAEUS
What hill?!
(ODYSSEUS leaps on ARNAEUS and they wrestle, all over the kitchen. EURYCLEIA enters.)
EURYCLEIA
Damn commotion! Where you think this place is?
ARNAEUS
I’ll crunch your eyeballs like these two eggs, do you hear?
(Squeezes two eggs in his palms.)
EURYCLEIA
Arnaeus, look your money. Go ‘bout your business.
(ARNAEUS takes his money, shoves ODYSSEUS away. ODYSSEUS sits on the floor.)
ARNAEUS
Rams! Cyclades!
(ARNAEUS exits. EUMAEUS enters.)
EUMAEUS
The old dog’s dying by the garbage.
DEMODOCUS
It smells like garbage.
EUMAEUS
Fur moulting from its ribs.
ODYSSEUS
Argus?
EURYCLEIA
Him won’t eat.
(She exits.)
EUMAEUS
It’s the heartbreak of old age.
ODYSSEUS
Since when?
DEMODOCUS
Since his master set out on the long ships.
(ODYSSEUS walks outside. Silence. EUMAEUS touches
BILLY BLUE’S shoulder.)
EUMAEUS
The old dog’s tottering to him on newborn legs.
BILLY BLUE
Argus?
EUMAEUS
Nosing his thighs. He’s cradling it. It’s dead.
BILLY BLUE
It waited for this. Its master. This king who begs.
EUMAEUS
I loved him as much. A dog saw more than I did.
BILLY BLUE
This man dare not weep. Though roads and nights can be wet.
EUMAEUS
I fed him his own meat. Housed him in my own hut.
BILLY BLUE
I smelled the sea on him. You must keep his secret.
EUMAEUS
God, what a knot of pain he must have for a heart!
(EUMAEUS and BILLY BLUE exit. TELEMACHUS enters, cowled, sits in silence. ODYSSEUS enters.)
ODYSSEUS
And where’re you from, young man?
(Silence.)
TELEMACHUS
I’m from where everybody comes from. From my home.
ODYSSEUS
And where’s that? I said, ‘Where is that?’
TELEMACHUS
Look, man, it’s late.
ODYSSEUS
It’s never too late, youngster.
(Silence.)
TELEMACHUS
So, where are you from?
ODYSSEUS
From home, as well.
TELEMACHUS
Then we’re both from the same place. Great.
(He exits.)
SCENE V
A palace chamber. Dusk on the painted walls. PENELOPE enters, sits at her loom, then ODYSSEUS approaches.
PENELOPE
Now the Pleiades sit to hear sailors’ stories.
ODYSSEUS
Now the lucky wanderer staggers to his bed.
PENELOPE
My own bed is besieged by a hundred suitors.
ODYSSEUS
And I’ve left the sea. Its lace was my faithless bride.
PENELOPE
So, you knew my husband?
ODYSSEUS
I know Odysseus.
PENELOPE
You say ‘know,’ not ‘knew’. Does that mean he isn’t dead?
ODYSSEUS
He’s turned into a name, wandering the white seas.
PENELOPE
I cannot wait for a name or warm it in bed.
ODYSSEUS
You gave him a brooch once. A hound pinning a fawn?
PENELOPE
You saw that brooch?
ODYSSEUS
Yes.
PENELOPE
Did it keep him through the war?
ODYSSEUS
Before every battle, he would kiss it often.
PENELOPE
And you saw this?
ODYSSEUS
I swear it.
PENELOPE
Men have sworn before.
(Silence.)
May I work while we talk? It’s soothing, the rhythm.
(She weaves. A roar from the SUITORS.)
ODYSSEUS
My house has dark rooms that I dare not examine.
PENELOPE
Where’s your house?
ODYSSEUS
Here. (He touches his temple.)
The crab moves with its property.
PENELOPE
And turtles.
(A roar from the SUITORS.)
ODYSSEUS
The sea breeds monsters. None strange as men.
PENELOPE
Where’s the thread in those thoughts?
ODYSSEUS
In my mind’s tapestry.
(Silence. PENELOPE working.)
The pattern is intricate. What’s it you’re making?
PENELOPE
A shroud for Laertes.
ODYSSEUS
That your suitors wait for?
PENELOPE
Yes. They cottoned on.
&
nbsp; ODYSSEUS
To the time it was taking?
PENELOPE
I’d unstitch it like a swallow’s beak picking straw.
ODYSSEUS
Swallows are my friends.
PENELOPE
There’s a nest in this house.
ODYSSEUS
I’ll have a word with one. But they’ve seen for themselves.
PENELOPE
You mean my devotion to the god Odysseus?
ODYSSEUS
You think he’s a god?
PENELOPE
To the girl I was. Nothing else.
ODYSSEUS
But now?
PENELOPE
No change. No change. Today I have to choose.
ODYSSEUS
One of those people in there?
PENELOPE
Yes. My son’s now mature.
ODYSSEUS
Which one do you like best? That fellow Antinous?
PENELOPE
I said once the shroud was finished I would be sure.
ODYSSEUS
If I were younger I might have been one of those.
PENELOPE
When I unveil myself I’ll also shroud this face.
ODYSSEUS
Why?
PENELOPE
I said I’d choose one from a hundred husbands.
ODYSSEUS
Once the shroud was finished? Marriage was its promise?
PENELOPE
The death of one vow in another’s wedding banns.
ODYSSEUS
Still, you’ll rule the kingdom next to your husband’s side.
PENELOPE
Then my son could be killed or disinherited.
ODYSSEUS
So soon you will wear both veils, both widow and bride.
PENELOPE
And lilacs will make a grave of my marriage bed.
(Silence.)
Are you crying? You’re cold. Shall I light a fire?
ODYSSEUS
No, let me sit here and drain this joy to the dregs.
PENELOPE
What joy?
ODYSSEUS
A gratitude that comforts desire.
PENELOPE
And you were a king somewhere?
ODYSSEUS
Once. Now one who begs.
PENELOPE
As blue sea shows at the end of a corridor?
ODYSSEUS
Yes?
PENELOPE
Then it turns leaden and the sky threatens rain?
ODYSSEUS
Meaning?
PENELOPE
That is my house since he left for his war.
ODYSSEUS
But that sea might brighten and your husband return.
PENELOPE
They say there’re two gates through which our dreams are portrayed.
ODYSSEUS
Yes. One is made of ivory, the other, horn.
PENELOPE
That the ivory’s hopes are false and we are betrayed.
ODYSSEUS
And the horn delivers whatever it has shown.
PENELOPE
I dreamt again last night of him. Odysseus.
ODYSSEUS
Which gate swung open? The horn or the ivory?
PENELOPE
The horn. I dreamt that an eagle killed all my geese.
ODYSSEUS
Are you asking me to interpret?
PENELOPE
Yes. Help me.
ODYSSEUS
The squawking geese? Suitors.
PENELOPE
The eagle?
ODYSSEUS
Odysseus.
PENELOPE
Ah!
ODYSSEUS
He’d pile the dead like linen for your servants.
PENELOPE
My maids will dress you in clothes that were my husband’s.
ODYSSEUS
I’m not fit, ma’am.
(PENELOPE goes to the door, claps her hands.)
PENELOPE
EURYCLEIA! You’re in good hands.
ODYSSEUS
Yes.
PENELOPE
No faith is surer than this old Egyptian’s.
ODYSSEUS
So, trust her faith.
PENELOPE
Not every owl is an omen.
(She returns to the loom.)
ODYSSEUS
Do you always miss him?
PENELOPE
Does the doe miss her young?
ODYSSEUS
Or an aged lion its mate? I know what you mean.
PENELOPE
I weave and unweave this thing with a little song.
ODYSSEUS
It might break my heart.
PENELOPE
Oh, it’s short. It won’t break long.
(Sings)
Just as the sea’s shuttle weaves and unweaves her foam,
He lies lost in a battle with salt weeds around him.
But she weaves and she prays that he’ll one day come home
As fine as she found him when their vows were one.
(Speaks)
Well, it’s finished now. He’s dead. Like my widowhood.
ODYSSEUS
And if he’s not dead?
PENELOPE
Too late. I gave them my promise.
ODYSSEUS
Can’t you wait?
PENELOPE
I cannot, I must honour my word.
ODYSSEUS
I curse the cause of your sorrow, Odysseus.
(EURYCLEIA enters with a basin, cloths, oils.)
EURYCLEIA
Lord, missis, me must wash this man foot?
PENELOPE
He’s our guest.
EURYCLEIA
Your guest. Na mine.
PENELOPE
Treat him as if this were his house.
EURYCLEIA
Damn stinking-toe beggar.
PENELOPE
Then he’ll be combed and dressed.
(She exits.)
EURYCLEIA
Maybe you go be the first one she bring to she bed.
ODYSSEUS
Watch your tongue!
EURYCLEIA
Wash your foot.
(She rolls up ODYSSEUS’ robe to the thighs.)
Wait. How you get this scar?
ODYSSEUS
A trapped boar rattled through dry reeds and lanced this thigh.
EURYCLEIA
A boar? In the same place?
(Falls back.)
Oh God, is you, Master?
(ODYSSEUS grabs her, covers her mouth.)
ODYSSEUS
Hear those wild boars in there? Shut up, or we’ll all die!
(TELEMACHUS enters, hooded.)
TELEMACHUS
Is there no end to beggars feeding on this house?
EURYCLEIA
Telemachus, you come back!
TELEMACHUS
Yes! To end all this.
(He grabs ODYSSEUS.)
ODYSSEUS
How is good Nestor? And my friend Menelaus?
TELEMACHUS
Not as reduced as you. Next, you’ll know Odysseus.
ODYSSEUS
Very well.
EURYCLEIA
Boy, sit before you faint. Your father.
TELEMACHUS
This majesty in rags. This mongrel scabbed with mange?
ODYSSEUS
Argus is dead. I buried him. Show him the scar.
(EURYCLEIA shows the scar. TELEMACHUS sits.)
EURYCLEIA
Remember stories him tell you about the white boar?
TELEMACHUS
This could happen to anyone.
ODYSSEUS
In this same place?
EURYCLEIA
Open your arms to him, boy.
ODYSSEUS
I need a harbour.
EURYCLEIA
All you like two cautious crabs. Embrace, nuh. Embrace.
Springs trickle around Mount Neriton’s mossy stones.
TELEMACHUS
Sir.
ODYSSEUS
These crooked tears, Telemachus, are its streams …
TELEMACHUS
Stop.
ODYSSEUS
Streaking the mountain’s face to find the ocean’s.
TELEMACHUS
Please.
ODYSSEUS
For twenty years this union salted my dreams.
(ODYSSEUS and TELEMACHUS hug.)
TELEMACHUS
Can my father stand next to my astonishment?
ODYSSEUS
You’re too thin, Telemachus. You should exercise.
TELEMACHUS
Is that what a bird prefigured? A swallow meant?
EURYCLEIA
Yes, yes.
TELEMACHUS
I’ll exercise soon, ‘Sacker of Cities’.
ODYSSEUS
Don’t envy me Troy. Troy. God, who needs another?
TELEMACHUS
When you’ve come back like a beggar to your own door?
ODYSSEUS
Ten years of Troy. And after, ten tired years more.
EURYCLEIA
I should run and tell the good news to his mother.
ODYSSEUS
No! Who told you I was home? Who brought the message?
TELEMACHUS
Love was my whip, fear and delight were my horses.
ODYSSEUS
For hours, as a beggar, boy, I’ve choked back my rage.
TELEMACHUS
The wheels kept hissing, Odysseus, Odysseus!
ODYSSEUS
Like another Nestor, eh? Along the white sands.
TELEMACHUS
He remembers those races by the Scamander.
ODYSSEUS
He does, eh?
TELEMACHUS
But now they’re claws. Branches. His hands.
ODYSSEUS
My pain’s in my shoulder. Our red-haired commander?
TELEMACHUS
I hid in Menelaus’ palace for months.
ODYSSEUS
Old redhead, who inflamed us to search for his wife.
TELEMACHUS
And came home ten years before you. He’s a great prince.
ODYSSEUS
A rich one. Who owes me twenty years of my life.
(Silence.)
And Helen, who made widows of so many wives?
TELEMACHUS
I wouldn’t tremble if I were her bath-water.
ODYSSEUS
You would have, then. Her golden hair threaded our lives.
TELEMACHUS
She’s settled now.
ODYSSEUS
She’s in her heyday’s afternoon.
TELEMACHUS
Did men find her that stunning, then, to launch a war?
ODYSSEUS
Finally, no. None is like your mother.
EURYCLEIA
Not one.
(ODYSSEUS paces.)
ODYSSEUS
There’re bright arms on my wall. Trophies from endeavours?
TELEMACHUS
Yes?
ODYSSEUS
Unhang them, and offer some servant’s excuse.
TELEMACHUS
Like, too much smoke smudges them. That’ll be my excuse.
ODYSSEUS
To polish and hoard them in case someone argues.
TELEMACHUS
I’ll hide your armoury away from the suitors.
(ODYSSEUS stops him.)
The Odyssey: A Stage Version Page 10
