ODYSSEUS
Be careful of the cold attraction of iron.
TELEMACHUS
Why?
(ODYSSEUS slaps, then embraces him.)
ODYSSEUS
Because men make weapons they intend to use.
EURYCLEIA
God, I have lived to see father welded to son!
ODYSSEUS
Eurycleia, listen! Say you hired this steward.
EURYCLEIA
Yes, sir, but suppose in there him get recognized?
ODYSSEUS
Not if you abuse him and he lowers his head.
TELEMACHUS
Is this what you meant by being ‘Odysseusized’?
(They laugh. Exit.)
SCENE VI
The palace. ODYSSEUS as the beggar sits on a throne, with begging bowl and oar, draped in a fishing net, SUITORS surrounding him.
EURYMACHUS
He says he’s a king. We’d like to know who you are.
CTESIPPUS
Under those rags there’s an awful authority.
POLYBUS
This bowl is his globe. This knotted oar his sceptre.
AMPHINOMUS
Hail, sceptred spectre and mud-tattered fantasy!
ODYSSEUS
This body is a ribbed ship that never went down.
CTESIPPUS
Listen to this beggar boasting! It’s very good.
ODYSSEUS
Was never pinned by the trident of Poseidon.
AMPHINOMUS
If he outwitted a god he must be a god.
EURYMACHUS
Let’s see if he’s a god. Slip a spear in his side!
CTESIPPUS
Spike his brow with pine needles. Make thorns his crown!
POLYBUS
Just nail KING O’ BEGGARS over his bleeding head!
AMPHINOMUS
There’s wet holes in his muddy face. You poor ruin!
EURYMACHUS
Probe his ribs with this fork. See if he winces!
(The room darkens.)
ODYSSEUS
From that louring sky, from that undecided rain.
CTESIPPUS
It speaks!
ODYSSEUS
A storm will darken you, shining princes.
EURYMACHUS
Great king!
ODYSSEUS
What I endure will be suffered again.
(A swallow passes.)
EURYMACHUS
What was that noise?
POLYBUS
Nothing. A swallow.
ODYSSEUS
Say your prayers.
CTESIPPUS
Why?
ODYSSEUS
It fans the forge whose anvil hammers lightning.
POLYBUS
Oh, then, next time we hear swallows what we’ll say is:
CTESIPPUS
It’s the old cloud-hammerer, meaning you, sad king!
ODYSSEUS
It whitens the oaks with fear, its fork was buried.
AMPHINOMUS
Tremble! Poseidon rises with his three-pronged staff!
POLYBUS
His hair hangs like a squid. Scallops cling to his beard.
ODYSSEUS
Your tombs will tumble like surf in its aftermath.
(ANTINOUS enters.)
ANTINOUS
Who’s this, what’s going on, what’s this jeering about?
EURYMACHUS
This is a beggar who believes he’s Poseidon.
CTESIPPUS
Or some other god.
ANTINOUS
There’re no gods. We’ve thrown them out.
AMPHINOMUS
But he tells good stories. Monsters with sixteen eyes.
POLYBUS
Old women with breasts like sacks singing like angels.
EURYMACHUS
A bag of wind from the old windbag.
POLYBUS
Old sailor’s lies.
CTESIPPUS
Oh, and listen to this, fishes with breasts, like girls.
ODYSSEUS
I have found no rest, sir, since Troy was defeated.
ANTINOUS
What a pity, since you’ll find no rest here, either.
ODYSSEUS
In a man’s house every monster is repeated.
ANTINOUS
We’re not finished.
ODYSSEUS
I know, I prefer those out there.
ANTINOUS
Why?
ODYSSEUS
I was at Troy.
ANTINOUS
Were you? They were all at Troy.
EURYMACHUS
Right! Win a war and everybody was in it.
ANTINOUS
And what did you do in the war, grandad?
ODYSSEUS
It’s true.
CTESIPPUS
This old dog has scraps of pride. Please, don’t offend it.
ANTINOUS
Tell me, you scab-crusted mongrel, how do you feel?
ODYSSEUS
Like a lion limping down lion-coloured hills.
ANTINOUS
He compares himself to the king of beasts? This fool?
ODYSSEUS
Hobbling the labyrinth of familiar halls.
ANTINOUS
Man of many riddles, what’re you babbling now?
ODYSSEUS
He shakes his mane, like tears. There was so much to save.
(ANTINOUS kicks him.)
ANTINOUS
Dog!
ODYSSEUS
His eyes wince shut. Each insult is an arrow.
ANTINOUS
Drag this dog to the kitchen and teach it to serve.
(SUITORS begin to lead ODYSSEUS out. ODYSSEUS stops, turns.)
ODYSSEUS
Whyn’t you search for your weapons, in case you’re besieged?
EURYMACHUS
Who’s going to besiege us?
ODYSSEUS
Your enemies.
ANTINOUS
Who’re they?
(TELEMACHUS enters as a steward.)
ODYSSEUS
An old swineherd. A boy. That swallow. All of these.
EURYMACHUS
Antinous! The weapons. They’ve been taken away!
ANTINOUS
Who moved the swords and lances that were on this rack?
TELEMACHUS
Me, sir. They were losing lustre from kitchen smoke.
ANTINOUS
Who appointed you armourer? Run, bring them back!
TELEMACHUS
Sir …
ANTINOUS
You heard what I said.
(He slaps TELEMACHUS, kicks him.)
ODYSSEUS (Laughing)
Good. Give him one more smack.
(A loud rumbling noise, echoing.)
EURYMACHUS
What was the sound? What is that reverberation?
AMPHINOMUS
Like a bull in a pasture bellowing in heat.
EURYMACHUS
No. That great door groaning from dividing iron.
(PENELOPE enters, carrying a bow, with EUMAEUS and EURYCLEIA.)
With a bow, curved like a bull’s horns, she strides with hate.
PENELOPE
You know how sailors set chocks under a ribbed keel?
EUMAEUS
Before it is launched. A succession of Xs?
(He arranges the axes.)
ANTINOUS
What’re you setting?
PENELOPE
The final test of your skill.
ANTINOUS
Which is?
PENELOPE
To send an arrow through these twelve axes.
(Hubbub.)
ANTINOUS
The one who shoots through these axes, what’s his reward?
PENELOPE
My widowed hand.
ANTINOUS
Marriage? So you’re keeping your word?
PENELOPE
&nbs
p; When my husband was a young pine he could do it.
ANTINOUS
So can I, you’ll see. My soul will fly from this wood.
EURYMACHUS
I’m going first.
PENELOPE
Yes, go first and cancel your debt.
(EURYMACHUS tries to string the bow, groans, curses, fails.)
EURYMACHUS
I don’t know what happened. There’s something very weird.
ODYSSEUS
Don’t you have a soul, Antinous? Or are you in doubt?
ANTINOUS
I’m finishing this chop. Let him have the next go.
(ANTINOUS waits. ODYSSEUS steps forward and takes the bow, he pretends it’s hard to string. EURYCLEIA shoves TELEMACHUS, hard.)
EURYCLEIA
Help him oil it, lazy pig!
(TELEMACHUS helps ODYSSEUS oil the wood.)
TELEMACHUS
Can you bend the bow?
ODYSSEUS
These wrists grew hard as a pine-tree from pulling oars.
EURYCLEIA (Slapping TELEMACHUS)
BOY!
TELEMACHUS
It’s as wide as ox-horns, can you do it now?
ODYSSEUS
Unless these branches cramp into claws, like Nestor’s.
TELEMACHUS
If I urged the wood’s spirit, what should I beg for?
ODYSSEUS
Her pliant accommodation, in spring and hum.
ANTINOUS
What’s this ritual? Stay away from that beggar!
ODYSSEUS
Athena! Make their throats trees; where arrows find home!
TELEMACHUS
Bend, bend!
ODYSSEUS
Come, supple ash! Take this bit in your teeth!
(He strings the bow.)
TELEMACHUS
It’s hooked, the string is taut as a poet’s lyre.
(He plucks the bow-string.)
ODYSSEUS
Well, let’s hope its song brings a hundred throats to grief.
AMPHINOMUS
He’s strung it!
ODYSSEUS (To TELEMACHUS)
Step back!
AMPHINOMUS
Not bad for the old fellow!
(ODYSSEUS shoots the arrow through the twelve axes.)
PENELOPE
This beggar has won. He will inherit this house.
EUMAEUS
Eurycleia, this isn’t safe. Take her now. Please!
PENELOPE
But my vow.
EUMAEUS
Was made to princes, not to beggars.
(EURYCLEIA exits with PENELOPE.)
ODYSSEUS
THE HORN GATE’S OPEN! AN EAGLE IS KILLING YOUR GEESE!
(ANTINOUS advances and points.)
ANTINOUS
The bow.
ODYSSEUS
Would you like your soul to fly from this wood?
CTESIPPUS
Now aim that bow steadily, you dolt! Be careful.
(ODYSSEUS hits ANTINOUS.)
EURYMACHUS
You blind fool.
ODYSSEUS
It was an accident.
EURYMACHUS
In his throat?
ANTINOUS
Dislodge his swallow’s beak from my throat. O my soul!
(He chokes, dies. BILLY BLUE enters.)
BILLY BLUE
I saw his soul whirr through the ribs of his body.
TELEMACHUS
Like through the twelve axes!
BILLY BLUE
The soul is visible!
ODYSSEUS
Antinous, it was better to marry than die.
BILLY BLUE
Where’re the others?
TELEMACHUS
They’re like shocked statues. Watching him still.
ODYSSEUS
Dogs, didn’t you keep baying I’d never get home?
POLYBUS
O many-wiled model of human survival!
EURYMACHUS
Odysseus! It’s Odysseus! Welcome, sir! Welcome!
(He crawls on his knees.)
CTESIPPUS
We beg. On our knees.
ODYSSEUS
Don’t you think begging is vile?
(He kills EURYMACHUS. The other SUITORS run. EUMAEUS gives ODYSSEUS the shield.)
EUMAEUS
Here, you cunning tortoise! You forgot your buckler.
ODYSSEUS
This turtle took ten years, Ajax, but it’s ashore.
EUMAEUS
To hide your head when lances fly. Well, three of us.
TELEMACHUS
If we had Troy’s trim captain here, a hundred to four.
(Noise of the SUITORS.)
EUMAEUS
A hundred murmurs, like wind lifting a forest.
ODYSSEUS
Like a green wave gathering, assembling its charge.
TELEMACHUS
Where’s that goddess or captain now?
(Screeching of birds.)
EUMAEUS
There! In that nest!
TELEMACHUS
The screech of the swallow-nation, Athena’s rage.
ODYSSEUS (To the birds)
Swoop from that roof-tree, friends! Snatch the eggs of their eyes!
(Shadows of swallows crossing.)
EUMAEUS
The breaker’s pluming, it’s going to burst through that door.
ODYSSEUS
If its force swirls us apart, bless you, Eumaeus!
EUMAEUS
They sound like that white river when we raced the boar.
(The hundred SUITORS charge. The swallows attack their eyes. ODYSSEUS with the bow, EUMAEUS with buckler and sword, TELEMACHUS with his lance kill the hundred SUITORS. EURYCLEIA enters.)
EUMAEUS
A black howl of triumph for the slain is custom.
BILLY BLUE
To lift their souls cloud-ward, like rooks beating black sails.
EUMAEUS
Wheel like a cyclone, a sybil spun by a storm!
EURYCLEIA
No, no!
BILLY BLUE
Cry! Woman, your breath will unfurl their souls.
(Rising wind, darkness. EURYCLEIA cowls herself, whirls, a long howl.)
TELEMACHUS
How odd is this excess of silence! Not a breath.
ODYSSEUS
When I look at them I hear armour and chaos.
TELEMACHUS
Quiet as a hundred brides whose suitor is death.
(War noises increasing. The SUITORS begin to stir.)
ODYSSEUS
Look! Nestor, Thersites, my silent Greek chorus.
TELEMACHUS
But you can talk to me, Father. Father, you’re home.
ODYSSEUS
Then who are those soundless shadows crossing my wall?
TELEMACHUS
What is he staring at? Eumaeus, help him!
ODYSSEUS
Look! I will not fight the Trojans! My mind’s not well.
EUMAEUS
This is a madness that I’ve seen on him before.
TELEMACHUS
When?
EUMAEUS
When you were a baby. It’s back with him now.
TELEMACHUS
What happened?
EUMAEUS
A test. They laid you on a furrow.
TELEMACHUS
In a field?
EUMAEUS
He stopped. You were inches from his plough.
ODYSSEUS
Look! (Points at the SUITORS.)
Troy’s mulch. Troy’s rain! Wounds. Festering diseases!
BILLY BLUE
Troy’s glory.
ODYSSEUS
I’ll kill you for telling boys that lie!
(He leaps towards BILLY BLUE, grabs him.)
EUMAEUS
He’s a homeless, wandering voice, Odysseus.
(Pause.)
Kill him and you stain the fountain of poetry
.
(The SUITORS rise, as WARRIORS.)
BILLY BLUE
His mind’s dislodged from its masonry. From Troy’s wall.
ODYSSEUS
Crouched shadows in starlight. Foaled from a wooden horse.
TELEMACHUS
Father …
ODYSSEUS
Over dead stones, I heard Hecuba wail.
EUMAEUS
Wait. This is the after-shock that is war’s remorse.
(ODYSSEUS stumbles over ANTINOUS’ body.)
ODYSSEUS
Now why has the tide dragged this log into my house?
TELEMACHUS
This is Antinous! Not a log. Rather, it was.
ODYSSEUS
The spitting image of Ajax. The same hooked nose.
EUMAEUS
This is not Ajax.
ODYSSEUS
Not him? Where’s Odysseus?
TELEMACHUS
Here.
ODYSSEUS
Look at him stride; arrogant, floating Ajax!
(ANTINOUS / AJAX moves away, turns, exits.)
TELEMACHUS
Sir!
ODYSSEUS
Cut me, in hell. Couldn’t face Achilles’ shield.
TELEMACHUS
The shield is home now. The lances ranged on their racks.
ODYSSEUS
Look how he stalks through the stench of the battlefield!
EUMAEUS
These images rise from the shield. They’re not his own.
ODYSSEUS
Since when did logs stand, then walk leagues over water?
EUMAEUS
He’s wrestling the god for his mind.
ODYSSEUS (Shouting)
POSEIDON!
(He hurls TELEMACHUS off.)
TELEMACHUS
The sea can’t come in! Stop it! Stop it, please, Father!
(PENELOPE enters.)
PENELOPE
You had to wade this deep in blood?
ODYSSEUS
To reach your shore.
PENELOPE
This cunning beggar is the smartest of suitors.
ODYSSEUS
To claim his house.
PENELOPE
What house? You mean this abattoir?
ODYSSEUS
To kill your swine, Circe.
PENELOPE
And make their mistress yours?
ODYSSEUS
WHAT DID YOU WANT ME TO DO? IT’S YOU I KILLED FOR!
PENELOPE
IT’S FOR THIS I KEPT MY THIGHS CROSSED FOR TWENTY YEARS?
ODYSSEUS
Call out to Antinous! See if he answers.
PENELOPE
He has gone to his own dark bed.
ODYSSEUS
Alone at least.
PENELOPE
Hack your way through mankind! Dismember its branches.
ODYSSEUS
With you for a path, I would cut down a forest.
(He shows her a charm.)
Look, here is that brooch your husband kept through the war.
PENELOPE
You could have plucked it from his body, scavenger.
ODYSSEUS
The surf never loosened it. Look, let your eyes answer.
PENELOPE
This is not Troy. I’m not Menelaus’ whore.
ODYSSEUS
Love, see these stained hands? I’ll wash them with my own tears.
PENELOPE
The Odyssey: A Stage Version Page 11
