Amanda Lester, Detective Box Set

by Paula Berinstein

  Whether or not these things were actually occurring, however, the real issue was finding the hacker. He or she was a troll, pure and simple. Right now the phenomena were annoying, but they might become dangerous, and that was the real worry. Professor Redleaf had certainly thought so. The look on her face that day in front of the class was serious. She wasn’t a frivolous person. If she was scared, she’d had good reason to be.

  The hacker’s agenda seemed apparent: disrupt Legatum’s operations. Any number of criminals could have managed that one way or another, but Amanda was just about sure that Moriarty was involved. He and Thrillkill were engaged in a personal vendetta, for one thing. For another, his family’s battle with the detectives went back more than a hundred years. It had to be him, and he had to have hired someone to help.

  What was the type of logic involved in her conclusion—abductive reasoning? Professor Ducey had taught them that with abductive logic, you are looking not only for a logical conclusion, but the best logical conclusion. Moriarty was it.

  She wondered if Holmes felt the same way. She wished she could ask him. For all she knew he was so far ahead of her on this that she was wasting her time. Why shouldn’t she ask him though? The task was on her list. He had no right to withhold information. They were meeting about the film anyway. She’d do it. If he refused to say, she’d sic Thrillkill on him. She didn’t have time for games and either did the school.

  As she made her way to the dining room for their meeting, Amanda ran into Ivy and Nigel. She noticed that Ivy had gotten her coppery hair cut and it was really bouncy. When she walked it bobbed up and down like a spring.

  “What’s going on?” said Ivy.

  “OMG, so many things,” said Amanda, and proceeded to bring her up to speed.

  “It’s leprechauns,” Ivy said when she’d finished.

  “What’s leprechauns?” said Amanda.

  “The rainbows. The gold coins.”

  “Why do you say that?” She hoped Ivy wasn’t going off the deep end. She was starting to sound like Editta.

  “You know how leprechauns are said to hide their gold at the ends of rainbows so no one will find them?” said Ivy.

  “Yes, of course.”

  “And you know why, don’t you?”

  “Why?” She had no idea. There weren’t any leprechauns in L.A. Not too many rainbows either.

  “Because a rainbow’s location is relative to the viewer. It’s not absolute. That means you can never actually find it or the pots of gold.”

  “Wow,” said Amanda. “That’s really clever.” But it still didn’t mean that leprechauns were involved. They were as mythical as zombies.

  “Yes,” said Ivy. “But don’t you see? That’s what the hacker is doing.”

  “I don’t follow you,” said Amanda, leading her friend to the beverage table. She selected two cups and began to make tea.

  “He’s hiding his gold under rainbows,” said Ivy. “Oh, thanks. I could use a cuppa.”

  “I still don’t understand.”

  “Think about it,” said Ivy. “His location is as elusive as that of a rainbow. Is that Earl Grey?” She sniffed the air.

  Amanda surveyed the various teas. “Yes. Would you like something else?”

  “And he’s creating rainbows.” Ivy lowered her voice as she changed the subject. “PG Tips is better, thanks. Don’t you think so?”

  “I like both flavors,” said Amanda, exchanging the Earl Grey for PG Tips. Funny how she’d become a big tea drinker. She’d never done that back in L.A. “I didn’t say he was creating rainbows. I don’t know that.”

  “No, you didn’t, but don’t you see that that’s what he’s doing?”

  “You don’t mean to tell me that he’s the one making those weird rainbows outside,” said Amanda.

  “I certainly do,” said Ivy.

  “You’re kidding.”

  “No, I’m not. This guy has got something special going on, and he’s making it as difficult to find as a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.”

  “But how can he do something in the sky?” said Amanda.

  “I don’t know,” said Ivy. “But my theory is that he isn’t just a hacker in cyberspace. He’s a matter hacker too.”

  Amanda thought for a moment. Based on what she’d seen, Ivy’s explanation made sense. Except that it was impossible. Unless alchemy wasn’t impossible. Well, not alchemy exactly, but manipulating matter remotely.

  “Ivy, you’d better be serious about this,” said Amanda. “It sounds crazy.”

  “I didn’t see the things you saw,” said Ivy. “I have to take your word for it. But I absolutely believe that you saw what you told me you did. Which means it was real. And you know what Sherlock Holmes always said—oh, sorry.”

  “It’s okay,” said Amanda. “You can say it. ‘Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.’”

  “Well,” said Ivy, “there you are.”

  “Come on,” said Amanda. “We have to tell Scapulus.”

  “No,” said Holmes when Ivy had presented her explanation for the mysterious phenomena. “That’s impossible.”

  “I hate to do this,” said Ivy, “but your ancestor—”

  “That again?” said Holmes. “I wish I could have known him just so I could strangle him for that.”

  “Scapulus!” said Amanda. She’d never heard him talk that way before, but more than that, since when did he have a beef with Sherlock?

  “It sounds good, but it doesn’t always work,” said Holmes. “It’s too blithe.”

  “Blithe?” said Ivy. “That’s a word you don’t hear every day.”

  “Blithe, facile, whatever. The man wasn’t flawless. You know that.”

  Actually, Holmes had said something like that before. He didn’t have blind faith in his great-great-whatever. Amanda liked that about him. She liked everything about him, come to think of it. She wished she could tell him just how much.

  “What’s your explanation then?” she said.

  “I don’t have one yet,” said Holmes. “I’m being as systematic as I can, though. This stuff takes a while.”

  Could he be right? Maybe Ivy had jumped to conclusions. Her theory was pretty romantic but short on logic.

  “That’s fair,” said Amanda. She didn’t feel like arguing. Either did Ivy, apparently, because she said she was off to finish up her audio observing seminar for Professor Sidebotham, and after finishing her tea with a gulp she left the room with Nigel in tow.

  “I hope you’re not listening to her,” said Holmes when Ivy had gone.

  “She’s very smart,” said Amanda.

  “Agreed. However, she’s starting to sound like your friend Editta.”

  What did he know about Editta? The whole of last term she’d kept to herself and so had he, for the most part.

  “And you,” said Amanda, “sound like Simon.”

  “Good,” he said. “Simon is intelligent.”

  “That’s his criterion for liking people too,” said Amanda.

  “I didn’t say—”

  “It’s all right. It’s nothing to be ashamed about. A little narrow, maybe, but—”

  Holmes looked annoyed. “Not everyone is touchy feely.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  He seemed to be regretting his words because he started to backpedal.

  “I’m sorry. I’m just tense. There’s so much riding on all this.”

  True, but was he using the chaos as an excuse for being tetchy? She knew exactly what he was referring to: Nick. And she was sitting there not doing a thing to help. She wanted to stop his suffering but she knew she couldn’t. Not until she found Nick and got some closure.

  “Did you finish your interview?” she said.

  “With Professor Pole? Yes.”

  “Any thoughts?”

  “He sounds a lot like Professor Mukherjee. You?”

  “I’m working on an angle.” S
he wasn’t ready to tell him about her suspicions having to do with the Realists. He’d probably pooh-pooh those too.

  “All right,” he said, letting her be. “Let’s reconvene tomorrow. Maybe we’ll have some ideas by then.”

  “There’s a lead on the key,” she said, hoping to inject something positive into the conversation.

  “Oh, good.”

  She searched his face, but he didn’t seem about to ask for detail. He was too depressed to care, and it was her fault.

  15

  Enter Inspector Lestrade

  The next morning at ten o’clock sharp, Despina called from the guard gate. Lovely. Amanda was in the middle of working on the “Sand” script for Darius Plover and now she’d lost her train of thought.

  “Darling, we’re here,” said Despina. “Jeffrey, say hello to Amanda.”

  “Hello, Amanda,” said Jeffrey into Despina’s phone. “Mother says—”

  “Darling, the guard won’t let us in,” said Despina, interrupting. “I don’t understand.”

  “You have to clear it through the headmaster,” said Amanda, realizing that she should have done that.

  “But the last time I saw Gaston he said we were welcome any time,” said Despina.

  Amanda sighed. Even if he had said such a thing, Thrillkill was so distracted these days it wasn’t surprising he’d missed putting the Lesters on the visitors list.

  “Hang on,” said Amanda. “I’ll speak to him.”

  “This is an outrage,” said Jeffrey. “Scotland Yard should have a blanket authorization. I can’t imagine—”

  Amanda ended the call and phoned Thrillkill.

  “What?” he barked.

  “Oh, sorry, Professor,” she said. “I’ve got you at a bad time.”

  “It’s always a bad time,” said Thrillkill. The last time she’d seen him this grumpy was weeks before. Not that he didn’t have good reason to be. In fact she was surprised that he had not been grumpy with all the terrible things going on. Still if he were to deny the Lesters permission to enter the school, that would be a perfect excuse for her not to see them—except that Despina would insist on her coming out instead.

  “I, uh, it’s just that my cousins Despina and Hill and their son from Scotland Yard are at the guard gate and they can’t get in.”

  “Did you say their son works at Scotland Yard?” said Thrillkill.

  “Yes. He’s a detective inspector.”

  “What’s his name?” said Thrillkill.

  “Jeffrey Lestrade,” said Amanda.

  “Inspector Lestrade?” said Thrillkill. “Another one?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “You tell Merlin to let them in at once,” said Thrillkill. “I’m going to have to reprimand him.”

  Great. Now she’d got the guard in trouble. Actually, she hadn’t. Despina had. Or maybe it was both of them. In any case, he didn’t deserve it. He was just doing his job.

  She phoned Merlin at the gate and told him what Thrillkill had said. The next thing she knew, the three relatives were sitting at Amanda and Holmes’s table in the dining room with steaming cups of tea, although Despina’s was more like a tea-flavored milkshake. Jeffrey was a trim, bald man of about thirty with dull blue eyes. His face was such a perfect oval that Amanda wanted to stick it in an egg cup and crack it with a spoon.

  “The very idea,” said Jeffrey. “I thought famous detectives were supposed to be respected here.”

  Amanda did not want to point out that Jeffrey was not a famous detective, even if his ancestor was.

  “He’s correct, dear,” said Despina. “The school isn’t going downhill, is it? Because if it is I’ll have to consider withdrawing my support.”

  “Now, Despina,” said Hill. “I’m sure it just slipped Gaston’s mind.”

  “That’s no excuse,” she said. “This school needs to run like clockwork. I’m going to have to look into this.”

  Amanda wanted to melt into her shoes. Not only was Despina in rare form, but it seemed that Jeffrey was a lot like his ancestor, just as she’d feared. She didn’t need this.

  Then she saw Holmes. Oh no! He was coming over.

  “Hullo, Despina, Hill,” said Holmes when he’d reached “their” table. “What a pleasure it is to see you.”

  “Scapulus, darling!” Despina stood up and threw her arms around the boy, practically suffocating him. “Jeffrey, look who’s here. Scapulus Holmes.”

  Jeffrey rose stiffly and shook Holmes’s hand. “Holmes.”

  “Lestrade,” said Holmes.

  “Well, isn’t this just jolly?” said Despina. “My favorite people all together in one place—”

  “Mr. Holmes,” interrupted Jeffrey. “I have a bone to pick with you.” Holmes looked surprised, which made sense since he’d never met Jeffrey before. “Your ancestor did something to my ancestor that I’ve never forgiven him for. It seems that—”

  “Now, darling,” said Despina. “We’re having such a pleasant day. There’s no need to bring this up now.”

  “No, I want to hear,” said Holmes.

  “It was simply unconscionable,” said Jeffrey.

  Suddenly Hill got up, took Jeffrey roughly by the arm, and whispered something in his ear. Looking dutifully chastised, Jeffrey turned to Holmes and said, “My apologies. It seems I was misinformed. There’s no dispute after all.”

  Amanda broke into mental guffaws. Good for Hill. At least he had some sense. Unfortunately it seemed that Jeffrey did not.

  “Now, Scapulus,” said Despina, barging ahead. “I hope you’re taking good care of Amanda here.”

  Could Despina say anything that didn’t involve sticking her foot in her mouth? Amanda and Holmes looked at each other in horror. Obviously Despina didn’t know about Amanda’s feelings for Nick and Holmes’s feelings about those feelings, which was just as well, even if her ignorance caused her to say gauche things once in a while.

  Holmes was the first to regain his composure. He sidled over to Amanda, put his arm around her stiffly, and said, “Of course I am. She’s the most wonderful girl on earth. I would never let anything happen to her.”

  Amanda was trapped. She had no choice but to play along. She turned her face to him and looked at him lovingly. “He’s wonderful to me,” she said. “I couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend.”

  She felt Holmes jump. He gave her shoulder a painful squeeze and said, “Unfortunately I must be going. I’m so glad to have met you, Inspector. See you soon, Despina, Hill.” Then he let go of Amanda and scooted out of the room in a sort of power walk.

  “Lovely boy,” said Despina.

  “For a Holmes,” said Jeffrey.

  “Darling, you shouldn’t say such things,” said Despina. “Remember what I told you? Accentuate the positive. Don’t let that awful Blixus Moriarty get you down.”

  Amanda had the distinct feeling that Jeffrey’s “mood” had nothing to do with Blixus and everything to do with his unpleasant personality, but she wasn’t about to say anything.

  “Anyhoo,” said Despina, “I wanted to tell you about the archaeological tour of Cumbria we’re starting today.”

  Now that was interesting. Not that Amanda wanted to inflict her relatives on Ivy, but since Ivy’s father was an archaeologist, she thought they might have an enjoyable conversation on the topic. Ivy liked the Lesters anyway. Amanda phoned her.

  When she heard that the group was about to embark on an archaeological tour, Ivy got incredibly excited and was sitting with them in the dining room about forty seconds later.

  “Oh, hello, Nigel,” said Despina after making the introductions. Nigel looked up at the large woman and let out a soft whine. Jeffrey eyed the dog distastefully but kept his trap shut. “Ivy, I hear your father is an archaeologist.”

  “Yes,” said Ivy. “He teaches at Bournemouth University. He often takes students on digs.”

  “And has he made any momentous discoveries?” said Despina.

  “Actually he has,” said Ivy. �
��He found a peat bog mummy.”

  “A mummy,” gasped Jeffrey. “That’s terrible.”

  “Why terrible?” said Ivy.

  “They’re so, so unpleasant,” said Jeffrey.

  “Not at all,” said Ivy. “Some of them are perfectly preserved. You can tell a lot about their societies and them as individuals. It’s quite fascinating.”

  “Where did your father find this mummy?” said Hill.

  “On an island off the coast of Scotland. It’s called Isle Bethere.”

  “Do tell,” said Despina. “We must go there. Hill, make a reservation.”

  Hill looked like he’d been ambushed, which he had. “I’m not sure it’s that simple, dear.”

  “Nonsense,” said Jeffrey. “It’s macabre. Mother, I won’t have you rooting around among nasty old bones. You could catch something.”

  Amanda was starting to wonder if Jeffrey was related to David Wiffle. They seemed so much alike. She thought she’d do a little test.

  “Cousin Jeffrey,” she said. “If you had to bend the law to bring Blixus Moriarty to justice, would you?”

  Everyone sat up. Despina looked horrified. Hill seemed cautiously apprehensive, and Ivy was smiling. She knew exactly what Amanda was doing.

  “Darling, I think that’s rather a personal question,” said Despina. “I can give you the answer, however.”

  “Be quiet, Mother,” said Jeffrey. Despina looked as if someone had shot an arrow through her heart. “It is an impertinent question but I will answer it because we are family.” He stood up and looked down at her sternly. “I would never, ever break the law, even if it meant I could put Blixus Moriarty back in prison where he belongs.”

  “Really?” said Amanda. “That’s quite fascinating.”

  “Nothing fascinating about it,” said Jeffrey. “Morality is absolute. You do not make excuses, grant exceptions, or alter it in any way. I’m surprised you would even ask such a question.”

  Ivy was stifling a laugh. Despina looked satisfied, and Hill seemed to be cringing. It was obvious where everyone stood on this question.

  “Thank you, Jeffrey,” said Amanda. “That’s very enlightening.”