Final Score

by Michelle Betham

  She cocked her head, frowning slightly.

  He sat up, taking her hand as he looked right into her eyes. ‘Doing what I did to Ryan… I messed up.’

  She stroked his knuckles with her thumb, breaking the stare to watch their every movement. ‘It’s done now. He’ll take his punishment and he’ll get over it.’ How cold and callous did she sound? This was Rico’s dad she was talking about; a man who hadn’t deserved anything Jim had done to him. He hadn’t deserved to have a past he’d so obviously tried hard to put behind him dredged up all over again. And he didn’t deserve the punishment he’d had to take because of her husband’s actions. He didn’t deserve to be treated the way she was treating him now. But if all that had to happen in order for her to be with this man here, then her conscience would just have to learn to live with that.

  ‘But you blame me, don’t you? And that trust I so wanted you to have in me, I’ve blown it, haven’t I?’

  Her eyes met his, her fingers clinging onto him. ‘I love you, Jim.’

  ‘But you still can’t trust me?’ He noticed her eyes drop again, once more breaking that stare. ‘Amber, baby, look at me. Look at me, honey, please’

  She slowly raised her eyes to meet his, letting him pull her astride him because she was weak. She knew this was only going to lead to more sex, and sex was what she wanted right now. Sex was a diversion. A chance to not have to think about anything. ‘You’re just gonna have to work harder to build that trust back up, aren’t you?’ she whispered, shrugging the shirt she was wearing back off her shoulders.

  ‘I can work hard,’ he murmured. ‘I can work very hard.’

  And that was exactly what he intended to do.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Amber flung open the front door, leaning against the doorpost and folding her arms.

  ‘Morning, sexy.’ He grinned at her, that same cocky grin he’d tried to reel her in with just a couple of years ago.

  ‘I thought you’d gone back to Newcastle yesterday.’

  ‘Got the F.A. hearing this afternoon. Not going back ‘til this evening. You on your own?’

  ‘If you mean is Jim here, no, he isn’t. He’s already at the training ground.’

  ‘Can I come in? Or do you want to kick-start the gossip by making me stand out here on the doorstep? One hell of a doorstep, though, I have to admit. How frigging big is this house?’

  She pulled him inside by his arm, closing the door behind him. ‘Have you come to see Rico before you go?’

  ‘I’ve come to see you, Amber.’

  She frowned, heading off into the kitchen. ‘Why? You only saw me yesterday.’

  ‘You know Jim was the one who made sure my involvement with that betting ring was made public. You know it was him.’

  She stood still, placing her hands on the countertop in front of her, but she didn’t turn around to face him. Closing her eyes she swallowed hard, breathing in deep. But she couldn’t say anything. This wasn’t going to go away. No matter how hard she tried to pretend it had never happened, it wasn’t going to go away. And that was partly because she herself wasn’t letting it.

  ‘Amber…’

  She swung around to face him, folding her arms across her chest. ‘I’m so sorry, Ryan. Really, I am…’

  ‘Is that all you can say? You’re sorry? Jesus…’

  ‘It wasn’t me who put it out there, Ryan.’

  ‘But you’re defending the bastard who did.’

  ‘That’s my husband you’re talking about, okay? And you don’t get to…’

  ‘What? Out him for what he really is? Are you so fucking blinkered, Amber, that you can’t see what he’s doing? What he’s still doing?’

  ‘You really need to go if that’s all you’ve come here to say because you’ll upset Rico, do you hear me? We are not getting into this here.’

  He moved closer to her, his hands in his pockets, his dark-blue eyes determined as he stared into hers. ‘He stood there and he told me himself what he’d done. And believe me, there wasn’t one ounce of fucking remorse coming from his direction. He’s one cold-hearted bastard and you need to know that.’

  ‘Get out of my house.’

  ‘Is all the great sex blinding you, Amber? Are all those fantastic fucks really worth it?’

  ‘I’m warning you, Ryan…’

  ‘You gonna spout all that crap about how he’s changed, huh? Really?’

  ‘I don’t need this…’

  ‘And I don’t need your fucking husband trying to damage me any more than he already has. I’ve lost the captaincy at Newcastle Red Star, been overlooked for the international matches at Wembley, been fined so much frigging money even my accountant had to do a double-take, and now it’s rumoured the F.A. could be banning me from playing until the end of the season and you don’t need this?’

  ‘I don’t know what you want me to say, Ryan.’ And she didn’t. What could she say? She couldn’t make it any better, could she? She couldn’t turn back the clock or pretend none of it had happened.

  He looked at her, straight into those beautiful pale-blue eyes of hers. ‘I want you to tell me you aren’t happy, Amber. I want you to tell me you’ve finally seen through him. I want you to tell me you still love me.’

  She shook her head, blinking back stupid tears she really didn’t want to cry. ‘I can’t do that,’ she whispered. ‘I can’t. Because it wouldn’t be true.’

  Ryan took a couple of steps back, breaking the stare, turning away from her briefly. ‘This is so fucking hard…’

  ‘I don’t know why he told you, Ryan.’

  Ryan swung back around to face her, his expression colder. Tougher. ‘He told me because he lives to kick me in the fucking teeth, that’s why. You think there was an apology included when he broke the news? Huh?’

  ‘He’s changed, Ryan, and I’m…’

  ‘Do you know how fucking deluded you sound, sweetheart? Standing there and telling me that. Because he hasn’t changed. He’ll never change. Oh, I’m not saying that he doesn’t love you, because I’m sure he does. I’m sure he loves you so frigging much but he’s insecure, don’t you see that? A man who felt confident in his relationship, would he really be trying so fucking hard to make sure another man kept well away? A man he still considers to be one hell of a threat, no matter what he might be telling you. And I can understand his actions, in some weird and warped way. I can. Because I’d probably do the same, in some respects. If you were mine, Amber, I’d fight tooth and nail to make sure I didn’t lose you again. But I would never, ever try to bring someone down the way he’s trying to destroy me.’

  ‘Trying?’

  Ryan gave a small, derisive laugh. ‘You think this is over?’

  She looked at him, hugging herself tighter, trying to get her head around everything Ryan was telling her.

  ‘It’s not over, Amber. The game is still on, sweetheart. And there’s only gonna be one winner.’

  *

  ‘Can I have a word?’

  Jim looked up, unable to stop the surprise from registering on his face. ‘Ronnie… yes, yes, of course. Come in.’ He stood up, walking around the front of his desk and leaning back against it.

  Ronnie closed the office door behind him, coming just a couple of steps further into the room. ‘I know what you did, giving that story about Ryan to the press.’

  Jim just looked at him, his expression stoic.

  ‘You’re going to hurt her, Jim. And I’m not gonna stand by and watch that happen. Not any more.’

  ‘Nobody’s making you stand by and watch anything, Ronnie. And – not that it’s any of your business, but, I am not going to hurt Amber. I can promise you that.’

  The cynical laugh escaped before Ronnie had a chance to stop it. ‘Yeah, okay. Look, you might have sucked her in with all your charm and a heap of crap about how you’ve changed, but she’s weak, Jim. Where you’re concerned she’s the weakest person I fucking know, so she’ll probably never see through you. But I do. I
can see right through you and you’ll hurt her.’

  It was Jim’s turn to laugh, bowing his head and folding his arms. ‘You all think you know how my relationship with Amber works…’

  ‘She’s fucking obsessed, Jim. That’s how it works. You walked back into her life and you took the girl we all know away, and in her place you left this weak woman who is obsessed with you. You should have stayed away from her. She told you to do that; she told you to stay away and yet you ignored her. That’s how much you care about her.’

  ‘I love her, you got that?’ Jim’s expression was hard, angry, even, as he walked over to Ronnie. How dare people assume they knew all there was to know about his and Amber’s relationship? They knew nothing.

  ‘You don’t love her. You just want to control her. And all it takes is for you to throw her up against a wall and fuck her senseless for all of five minutes and you’ve got her right where you want her.’

  That was it. He’d lit a touchpaper and Jim was having no more of this crap. He’d had enough. Pulling his arm back he threw a punch at Ronnie so quickly the other man hadn’t stood a chance. Ronnie was knocked sideways as Jim’s punch sent him reeling back against the wall, his body ricocheting so hard, it sent a wave of pain flooding through him.

  ‘Jesus Christ…’ Ronnie gasped, clutching his jaw.

  ‘You know nothing about me and Amber. Nothing.’ Jim hissed, his eyes boring deep into Ronnie’s. ‘And you don’t ever talk about her in that way again, okay? You don’t cheapen her name or assume that’s the way she acts. You don’t fucking do that.’

  Ronnie shook his head, his hand still clutching his now-throbbing jaw. ‘She needs to be rid of you.’

  ‘She needs to be loved.’

  ‘By you?’

  ‘Get out of my office.’

  ‘She needs you out of her life.’

  ‘Are you jealous, Ronnie? Oh, you want to go back there, is that it? You want to fuck your best friend again? Is that what all this is about?’

  ‘You’re fucking unreal. I care about that girl; that’s what this is about.’

  ‘And so do I. I care about her, more than you or anyone else will ever know.’

  ‘They’re just words, Jim. They’re just empty fucking words…’

  ‘Get out of my office. Before you say something you’ll really regret.’

  Ronnie reached out to grab the door handle, his eyes never leaving Jim’s. ‘She deserves better than you.’

  Jim said nothing. He just watched as Ronnie slammed the door closed behind him, his stomach dropping so low he felt sick. Amber deserved better than him – and Ronnie was right. She hadn’t deserved any of what he’d done to her previously. But she knew why he’d acted that way now; he’d explained it all to her. But had he left everything too late?

  Sitting down on the edge of his desk he reached for his phone, quickly scrolling down his contact list until he found the number he was looking for. ‘It’s Jim Allen… Yeah, I need to speak to him now.’ He didn’t want to fight any more. He was tired of fighting. But if that was what he had to do to keep Amber in his life, then he was going to have to play this game the only way he knew how.

  *

  ‘Ronnie?’ Amber frowned as she looked at him, the angry red mark on his jaw evident. ‘What are you doing here? What the hell’s happened?’

  ‘Why don’t you ask your husband, Amber?’

  ‘No, hang on… Ronnie? Jesus!’ She almost ran the last few yards to Jim’s office. He was sitting on the couch, his head in his hands.

  ‘Jim?’

  He slowly looked up, pushing both hands through his hair.

  ‘What was Ronnie doing here?’

  Jim sighed, clasping his hands together. ‘Coming back down here was never really gonna solve anything, was it?’

  ‘What was Ronnie doing here, Jim?’

  ‘Too many people think they know so much about us, Amber.’

  ‘Did you hit him?’

  He looked at her, right into her eyes. ‘They don’t know the truth. They have absolutely no idea how much I love you.’

  ‘Jim, for Christ’s sake, will you just answer a fucking question? What was Ronnie doing here?’

  Jim stood up, walking slowly over to her. ‘He wants me out of your life, Amber. That’s why he was here. To warn me, almost.’

  ‘Warn you?’ Amber felt as though she was having one of those days where everything was just way too surreal for her to get her head around. First Ryan turning up spouting his speech about how Jim was no good for her and now this. ‘Was there some kind of fight?’

  ‘No. Baby, there was no fight. But he said things… he said things. And I lost my temper; I hit out.’

  ‘Jesus, Jim…’ Amber turned away, pushing a hand through her hair. ‘And that’s gonna solve everything, is it?’ She swung back around to face him. ‘You, lashing out just because someone says something you don’t like; that’s gonna solve all this crap?’

  ‘I love you, Amber.’

  ‘I know you do, but do you know what? I’m beginning to wonder if that’s really enough.’

  Jim’s eyes narrowed as he stared at her. ‘What do you mean? Amber…’

  ‘I am crazy about you, and you know that. You’ve always known that, which is why you knew… you knew when you walked back into my life the way you did, that I’d fall. Eventually. You knew that. Same as you know how hard this is for me to stand here and tell you that I’m walking away.’

  ‘Amber, baby…’

  ‘Not forever, Jim. Listen to me, okay? Listen to me. I need to get out of here, away from this… I need some space…’

  ‘No.’ He shook his head, reaching out for her hand but she pulled it away. ‘Don’t do this, Amber. Please.’

  ‘You know, it’s strange, but… but I don’t regret being with you. I don’t regret marrying you or letting you back into my life because if I hadn’t… if I hadn’t let you back into my life I would have spent the rest of it wondering what would have happened if I had. And now I know, don’t I? Exactly what I knew would happen.’

  ‘It doesn’t have to be this way, baby.’

  This time she allowed him to pull her into his arms; she allowed him to hold her, allowed his mouth to close in on hers until she was once more lost in his kiss. And that was a place she wanted to be lost in forever.

  ‘We need that space, Jim.’

  ‘And I think you’re wrong. Jesus, you’re letting them win.’

  ‘I need to take a step back, that’s all. Because… because maybe we rushed into all this. Maybe we should have thought harder before we…’

  ‘You are my whole fucking world, Amber, do you know that? You walk away from me and that world just disintegrates, it’s pointless. What I did to you, asking for that divorce, it was the worst mistake of my life, and I regret it every day because I never stopped loving you. Not for one second…’

  ‘Don’t use emotional blackmail, Jim, please. Don’t do that. I’m going to go back up north for a couple of weeks, that’s all. I’m just going to go back home, take some time out, be with my baby… I love you, okay?’ She ran her fingertips lightly over his jawline, running them over his slightly open mouth before kissing him slowly, letting the taste of him linger on her lips for as long as she could. ‘I love you, so much, but all of this… all these people…’

  ‘You’re letting them win.’

  She shook her head, her fingers gripping his tighter. ‘You know, I don’t care, Jim. I’m not thinking about Ryan or Ronnie or anyone else. I’m thinking about me. And I know that I need to take a step back, I know that. If you want this to work, baby, then please, please accept that.’

  ‘You want me to just let you go?’

  ‘You’re not letting me go, Jim. I’m not going forever, I’ve told you that. Think of it… think of it as a working holiday.’

  He frowned.

  ‘I’m going back to my roots,’ Amber said, letting go of him, folding her arms across her chest as she walked over
to his desk, leaning back against it. ‘I’m going to do a little bit of work for News North East while I’m up in Newcastle. I had a meeting with my bosses at Cloud Sports, told them I needed to go back up north for a couple of weeks, and, along with Kevin, we’ve worked something out that benefits both of them, and me. If Cloud Sports can get a programme or two out of this then they’re not complaining.’

  ‘Oh, well that’s okay, then, isn’t it? As long as your fucking bosses are alright with it all, then who the hell am I to object? It’s just my freakin’ marriage that’s in trouble.’

  She looked at him, taking a deep breath, clutching her arms tighter around herself. ‘Our marriage isn’t in trouble, Jim.’

  ‘Isn’t it? Then why the hell are you walking away from me, huh?’

  ‘To save it.’

  He couldn’t help the laugh that escaped. ‘Do you want to save it? Honestly?’

  She held his gaze. ‘Honestly? I want to save this marriage more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. Because when I told you I wouldn’t be able to cope without you, when I told you I wasn’t strong enough to do that I meant it. I’m terrified of leaving you behind, Jim. I’m scared of waking up in the morning and you not being there. But I need to do this. I need to be stronger.’

  ‘He’s up there, Amber. Ryan. He’s up there, where you’re gonna be.’

  ‘I don’t love him, Jim. Do you understand that? I don’t love him. I love you.’

  ‘And that’s why you’re walking away from me?’

  She still couldn’t break the stare. ‘That’s why I’m walking away.’

  ‘You’re breaking my heart here, baby.’

  She walked over to him, cupping his cheek in the palm of her hand as she kissed him, long and deep, falling against him as his arm slipped around her waist.

  ‘I can’t let you go, Amber. It’s too risky, and I…’

  She put her fingers to his lips, shaking her head. ‘I’ll be gone by the time you get home. Okay?’

  ‘Jesus, Amber, please…’

  She closed her eyes and let her mouth rest against his one more time, let his arms hold her tightly and felt her heart beat faster as their bodies touched.