Final Score

by Michelle Betham

  By the time she got back to the main reception area she’d composed herself. Just about. She’d paid a visit to the ladies’ room, redone her make-up, made sure she looked as calm as she needed to feel, because she had a lot to get through before she could concentrate on what she’d found out. But there was one thing she needed to do first, and her eyes searched him out before she walked over to him.

  ‘I need to speak with you,’ she said to Max, who was talking to a couple of the Red Star board members.

  ‘Now?’ he asked, frowning slightly as he looked at her.

  She pulled him aside. ‘When this game is over you are going to answer some questions for me, and I’m warning you, Max, you’d better tell me the truth.’ She turned on her heels and started to walk away, leaving Max more than a little confused.

  ‘Huh? Amber? Hang on, sweetheart…’

  She swung back around to face him, suddenly feeling a strength she didn’t know she had well up inside her. ‘You’re going to tell me the fucking truth, Max, because this isn’t a game any more. You got that?’

  ‘Amber?’

  She was stopping for nobody as she strode through the main atrium, making her way up to her dad’s executive box. She wanted to see her baby. Five minutes with Rico would get her head sorted; he could always ground her. Until she could finally work out just what the hell was going on here.

  But she hadn’t expected to see Ryan there. Why not, though? She’d told him he could come and see Rico. She just hadn’t expected him to do it before the match, and seeing him kind of startled her.

  ‘Everything okay, sweetheart?’ Freddie asked, looking up as Amber walked into the room.

  ‘Can I have a word with Ryan, Dad? Please?’ It wasn’t what she’d planned to do, but he was there. And she needed to say something.

  Freddie looked from Amber to Ryan, but all Ryan could do was shrug. He looked as surprised as Freddie did, although Amber suspected he knew exactly what she was going to say.

  ‘Yeah. Of course you can. Do you want me to make sure this place stays quiet for a little while?’

  She just nodded, her eyes fixed firmly on Ryan. ‘Can you take Rico with you, please?’

  Freddie frowned. ‘Okay. Are you sure you’re alright?’

  ‘I’m fine. I just need a private word with Ryan.’

  Freddie took Rico from Ryan, his gaze fixed on Amber for a few seconds more, but she was still looking at Ryan. ‘I’ll be over in the main bar if you need me.’

  Amber said nothing, she just waited for her dad to close the door behind him before she spoke. ‘What is it exactly that you think he’s done, Ryan?’

  ‘I don’t know, Amber. All I know is Max said something about it not being his idea, and he started to talk about someone else, but then stopped. But he had a look on his face that told me he was hiding something. I swear to God, Amber, I’m not just trying…’

  She held up her hand. She didn’t really want to hear any more. ‘You are, Ryan. You’ll try anything you can to make me change my mind you said as much yourself. You said you won’t give up without a fight, that it’s every man for himself, and you know – you know that if I find out Jim has anything to do with this…’ She had to stop talking because the tears were threatening to fall and she didn’t want that. She didn’t want to cry or be weak at a time when she needed to be strong.

  ‘I wouldn’t do anything to deliberately hurt you, Amber.’

  ‘Are you… are you only assuming he’s involved with this because of what happened with the betting ring story?’

  ‘Of course I am, Jesus! If he can do that, don’t you think he’s capable of this, too?’

  ‘I don’t know what he’s capable of any more, Ryan.’ Her voice was quiet, almost defeated.

  She leaned back against the table in the corner of the room, looking up as he walked over to her, still dressed in his match-day suit, his white shirtsleeves rolled up, showing his tattooed forearms, that familiar dark, heavy stubble covering his jawline.

  ‘Have you spoken to him?’ Ryan asked, digging his hands into his pockets.

  She nodded, looking back down for a second before her eyes met his. ‘Just now. But this is how fucking twisted everything’s got. I had to fuck him first. I wanted to fuck him first. I wanted to hold him and kiss him and feel him inside me before I… before I knew…’

  Ryan bowed his head, and she could see him breathe in deeply, his body exerting itself with the weight of that breath.

  ‘How wrong is that?’ Amber whispered, looking outside at the still almost-empty stadium. Only a few people were already in their seats, the rest of the crowd making the most of the pre-match time to grab a drink and something to eat. But the atmosphere was still palpable; that wonderful feeling of anticipation that Amber loved. Even at a match that carried no importance for either team, the atmosphere was still there. And wasn’t that what this game was built on? Wasn’t that what had made Ryan want to be a part of all this? Would it feel the same over in the States? ‘It’s going to be so different over there, Ryan. And he… he’s taken you away from all of this, hasn’t he?’

  Ryan looked at her, his eyes locking onto hers. ‘It’s probably for the best, when all’s said and done.’

  She shook her head, trying desperately to keep those tears at bay. She needed to stay calm – focused. She still had a job to do. ‘Can’t you change your mind?’

  ‘I’ve signed a contract, Amber.’

  ‘For how long?’

  ‘A year. To begin with. But there are options…’

  She looked away again. She didn’t know what to do. She truly had no idea what to do next. ‘I think he really did have something to do with it.’ Her voice was still quiet. Because it wasn’t Ryan she was angry with. He was an innocent victim caught up in the middle of some twisted power game that she couldn’t understand.

  ‘Amber, look, I have no proof, but…’

  She turned back to face him. ‘Once this match is over I’m going to talk to Max. And he’s going to tell me the truth, Ryan. He’s going to tell me just how the hell we got to this point because I am lost here. I’m lost.’

  Ryan pulled her up and into his arms, and he held her close – that was all. He just held her, neither of them saying anything for a few seconds. But they were the most heartbreaking, confusing few seconds of her life.

  ‘I’ve got to go,’ she whispered, pulling away from him, but he didn’t let her go straight away. He kept a loose grip of her waist, his mouth gently lowering down onto hers, and she didn’t fight it. She didn’t want to. It didn’t help matters, but she didn’t want to fight it. She didn’t want to fight anything any more. She was tired of it all. ‘I’ve really got to go.’ She pulled free of him, turning to walk away.

  ‘Amber?’

  She turned around, her eyes meeting his.

  ‘Does this change anything?’

  She held his gaze for a few seconds more. ‘I don’t know, Ryan. I really don’t know.’

  Closing the door behind her, she took another deep breath before heading quickly downstairs. She should be mic’d up by now, preparing for her pitch-side interviews. She’d let herself get far too distracted.

  ‘Amber!’

  She stopped walking, closing her eyes briefly, taking in another deep breath. ‘I’m late, Jim.’

  ‘I need to talk to you.’

  She swung around. ‘I’m late.’

  ‘You believe him?’

  ‘I don’t know what to believe.’

  ‘We need to talk.’

  ‘I’m supposed to be working. So this really is going to have to wait.’ She turned away again, resuming her brisk pace along the corridor.

  ‘I’m sorry, okay?’

  Once more his voice caused her to stop in her tracks, and she slowly turned back around. ‘You’re sorry?’

  ‘I love you, Amber. What I did, I did because I love you so much…’

  ‘I can’t do this now, Jim. I really can’t. So, just leave it. Please
. Because doing this now isn’t fair. It really isn’t fair.’

  She didn’t look back as she finally pushed through the double doors that took her back out into the main atrium, which was quieter now as more and more people drifted off to the bars or their hospitality suites.

  ‘Where the hell do you keep disappearing to?’ Ronnie said. ‘I’ve been looking everywhere for you. They’re going spare upstairs. You should have been mic’d up half an hour ago… What’s wrong? And if you say “nothing” I swear I’ll do something that will really draw attention to us.’

  ‘I don’t want to do this here, Ronnie.’

  ‘So something is wrong, then?’

  ‘Yes, something’s wrong.’

  ‘Is it serious?’

  She looked at her best friend. And at that moment in time she wished with every fibre of her being that they could go back to the time when they’d been together. He’d been a player in Manchester and she’d been an up-and-coming local sports reporter, and she knew, right at that very second, that if she could go back to that time she would hang onto him so tightly and never let him go and it would change all this. She’d change it all. Because this was just too exhausting now.

  ‘I don’t know, Ronnie. Right now, I really don’t know.’

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Jim stood at the edge of the technical area, checking his watch as the referee dragged out the last few seconds of time added on for as long as he could. But even when that final whistle was blown, he had to stand and watch as Ryan Fisher was given a standing ovation from the home crowd. He watched as a player who was, undoubtedly, going to be missed by the English league, ran around to every corner of the ground, saluting the supporters, making sure they knew how grateful he was for the support they’d all shown him during a turbulent couple of years at Newcastle Red Star. He watched as Ryan ran back to the touchline, over to Amber, who was waiting with microphone in hand to grab an all-important few words with him before he left this club for good. And it tore Jim apart to see her smile at him. Because he didn’t know how much she was putting on for the camera and how much of it was real. He didn’t know if what he’d done had changed her mind, and sent her running back to Ryan when this was supposed to have made sure that didn’t happen.

  He watched as Ryan’s eyes stayed fixed upon her, and, even from where he was standing, Jim could almost see the chemistry between them. And though he wanted to turn away, he couldn’t. Because if he was losing her then he wanted to make sure he took in every last detail of a woman he would never stop loving. She was his world, and she’d continue to be just that, no matter where she was or who she was with. She was his world. A world that was quickly starting to crash down around him.

  *

  Autopilot got her through the afternoon. She’d been running on empty, stumbling through everything with a blurred mind and a focus she had to pull out of nowhere and she had no idea how she’d done it. But she’d managed to keep that front up, the professional image she’d needed to portray so that this mess they were all in didn’t become public knowledge. And interviewing Ryan had been the hardest thing of all to do, to stand there and look at him; to treat him like any other player when he was so much more than that. Even though everyone knew their history, knew their relationship was so far past professional, she’d still had to make it look like any other interview. The hardest thing she’d ever had to do. Under the circumstances.

  And now, as she said her thanks and they cut back to the studio, he was still there in no hurry to run back up that tunnel one more time to join in the celebrations with his soon-to-be ex-teammates.

  ‘Are you okay?’ he asked.

  She nodded, still trying to keep up her professional exterior until she could take her mic off. Not that any of her life was that private any more. ‘I’m fine.’

  ‘You sure?’

  ‘Ryan, please, I’m fine. Go and enjoy yourself, okay?’ She threw him a look that told him this wasn’t the time or the place for this conversation, and turned away from him. It was all she could do. But, as she unclipped her mic pack and handed it over, finally free to say and do what she wanted, she felt a sadness wash over her that seemed to overtake the confusion. She just needed to dig up that strength she’d found earlier and start dealing with this. One way or another.

  *

  Jim’s eyes stayed on Ryan as he watched him lean in closer to Amber, and whatever she’d said to him had made him step away, but that meant nothing. She was still mic’d up, so whatever conversation they were having post-interview, it couldn’t be anything too personal. She wouldn’t want any of this to be out there in the open just yet, just as he was in no hurry to make anything public. Unless it involved her commitment to him. Unless it involved them making those plans to renew their vows and showing the world just how much they loved each other, and he could only hope that was still a possibility. Because the thought that everything could now be taken away from him was the fear he’d tried to push aside. The fear that wouldn’t lie low. The fear that was well and truly making itself known now.

  He watched as Ryan ran back towards the tunnel, his arms high above his head as he clapped more thanks to the fans who were still inside the stadium, making sure they got one last glimpse of one of the best players this club had seen in a long time. Could he have become even better if Jim hadn’t have come back here and messed with his head, pushed him into doing things and taking paths he may never normally have taken. Or was Ryan Fisher one of those people who was always going to go down a certain path, with or without provocation?

  It wasn’t until he reached the mouth of the tunnel that Ryan turned around, coming face to face with Jim, who’d been determined to go nowhere until he’d seen him. And although they were surrounded by club officials and other players who still hadn’t retreated to the dressing rooms, he still needed to let him know. He still needed to make him aware of what was at stake here.

  ‘That was one hell of a final game. Because you’re one hell of a player,’ Jim said, his eyes locking onto Ryan’s. ‘Young, talented – an asset any club would be proud to have.’ He moved a step closer, gently holding onto Ryan’s arm, although his grip was far tighter than it might have looked to anyone watching. ‘But what you’ve done today, putting those thoughts into Amber’s head – you had no right to do that.’

  ‘I had every right,’ Ryan hissed, tugging his arm free of Jim’s grip. ‘She needs to know what you are. She needs to know what you’re capable of.’

  ‘If she comes running to you, you tell her it’s over. You hear me? All of this, it’s over.’

  ‘You must be so desperate, Jim. And I’m not doing this here. So you back off, okay?’ And with that he just walked away, leaving Jim more alone than he’d ever felt in his life. A man who had once been famous for his controlled and calm exterior was now helpless. And that was a feeling that scared him to the core.

  *

  ‘He’s avoiding me,’ Amber said, impatiently tapping her fingers on the bar in the Players’ Lounge.

  ‘Who? And what the hell is going on with you this afternoon?’ Ronnie asked, pushing a gin and tonic towards her.

  ‘He’s got some fucking nerve,’ Ryan said, joining them at the bar, showered and changed, his dark, damp hair pushed back off his face.

  ‘Again, who?’ Ronnie asked, his voice slightly more agitated now. ‘I feel like I’m in the middle of the frigging Twilight Zone here. Is someone going to explain what’s going on?’

  ‘Has he said something to you?’ Amber looked at Ryan, taking a sip of her gin. The alcohol hit was greatly appreciated.

  ‘He cornered me in the tunnel. Said if you came running to me, to tell you it was over.’

  ‘Something can’t be over if it never really started.’

  ‘Is anyone gonna tell me what the fuck is going on?’ Ronnie asked, raising his voice slightly, if only to get some sort of reaction. Because being nice obviously wasn’t getting him anywhere.

  Both Amber and Rya
n looked at him. But neither of them seemed in any hurry to offer an explanation. ‘I’ll talk to you later,’ Amber said, not really making it clear whether she was aiming that at Ryan or Ronnie, but she’d spotted Max, and she was determined he wasn’t going to avoid her any longer. ‘Max! Jesus, if he walks away from me one more time…’ She followed him out of the Players’ Lounge. ‘Max!’

  He turned to face her just as Jim appeared from around the corner. She looked from one to the other, not missing the glance that passed between the two of them.

  ‘Okay. Now I know you both had something to do with this.’

  ‘Amber, baby…’

  ‘No, Jim!’ She stared at him. Her beautiful husband. Her strong American man. How could she still love him so much, yet resent everything he’d tried to do? How could she still love him – so fucking much? ‘Not now. I want to hear what Max has to say.’

  ‘We need to talk. Have you any idea how this is making me feel?’

  ‘Making you feel?’ She couldn’t help but laugh. ‘Maybe if you didn’t stir up so much shit then none of this crap would be happening.’

  ‘He was taking you away from me.’

  ‘He was doing nothing, Jim. Because I have a mind of my own, and no matter what he tried to do it would have been me who’d ultimately made whatever decision needed to be made.’

  ‘And what is that decision?’

  ‘You honestly think it’s that easy? Huh? After all of this… you think it’s that easy? You think I can just stand here and tell you what’s gonna happen next? Because I haven’t got a fucking clue, Jim.’

  ‘Okay, okay… let’s all just calm down a bit here,’ Max said, and even he had to flinch at the look Amber threw him.

  ‘I told you before, Max, I’m going to ask you questions and you’re going to tell me the truth.’

  ‘Amber, come on…’

  She swung around to look at Jim, stopping him from saying any more. ‘I don’t need you around right now, Jim. Okay? I want to talk to Max. Alone.’

  ‘This isn’t happening…’ Jim sighed, leaning back against the wall, pushing a hand through his hair.