Final Score
Page 50
Closing her eyes for a second, she took a deep breath, before crouching down beside Rico and gently stroking his hair, kissing his warm and tiny cheek. ‘I love you so much, baby boy. And I’m sorry, okay? For the way things have worked out. I’m so sorry.’
Standing back up she pushed a hand through her hair and checked the clock on the wall.
‘What’s up with you?’ Ronnie asked, walking into the kitchen.
She looked at him. ‘I need you to take me to the airport.’
He stared at her. ‘I’m sorry? What did you just ask me?’
‘I need you to take me to the airport.’
He was still staring at her. ‘I’m confused now.’
‘Yeah, well, welcome to my world.’ She was busy throwing some of Rico’s things into his baby bag.
‘Amber… what the hell are you doing?’
‘Can you take me to the airport or not, Ronnie?’
‘Well, yes, but… why?’
She scooped Rico up into her arms, hugging him as he snuggled in against her, still holding on for dear life to that rabbit. ‘Just get there as fast as you can, okay?’ She threw Rico’s baby bag at him, which he caught, even though he was still staring at her.
‘And on the way there are you gonna explain what’s going on?’
‘Yes. And we’re going out the back way. I really can’t be bothered to explain to everyone where I’m going.’
‘And you don’t think they’ll miss you?’
‘I’ll text Debbie from the car. Now, come on. Let’s get going.’
‘Amber…’
She swung around to look at him, her eyes telling him she was serious. She was doing this. She had to. She thought she’d be able to get through today as though this wasn’t happening, as though Ryan’s leaving didn’t bother her, and she’d tried. She’d really tried. And she’d almost succeeded. Almost. ‘I really need to do this, Ronnie. So, please. Can we just go?’
‘No, hang on. Come here, will you? Just for a minute. Please.’
She sighed, but she did as he asked. ‘We really need to go.’
‘Are you sure about this? Whatever it is you’re going over there to do, are you sure?’
‘I can’t say I’ll ever be one hundred percent sure of anything any more, Ronnie.’ She looked up into his eyes. ‘Except that… I need you, okay? As my friend, I need you. And I’m sorry…’
‘There’s nothing to be sorry for, Amber. I just want you to listen to your heart and do whatever it is you need to do. No matter how crazy it is.’
She couldn’t help smiling, standing up on tiptoes to kiss him quickly, his arm catching her by the waist to keep her there just a little while longer.
‘I do love you, Ronnie White. You know that, don’t you?’
‘Yeah. And I love you, too. Even though you can be the most infuriating woman ever to have walked this earth.’
‘I can be a real pain in the arse sometimes, can’t I?’
Ronnie arched an eyebrow. ‘Sometimes?’
She smiled, kissing him again, hugging him close with her free arm. ‘I need you, okay? To stop me from doing really stupid things.’
‘You think I can stop you?’
She smiled again, pulling away from him slightly.
‘Look, Amber, I’m gonna ask you this again, because it’s what I do. I nag you into submission. That’s my job, apparently, so, whatever you’re about to do, are you sure?’
She looked at him, nodding slowly, cuddling Rico closer to her, kissing the top of his head.’
‘Okay then,’ Ronnie sighed, fishing his car keys out of his pocket. ‘Let’s get out of here.’
*
Ryan hauled his case out of the back of Gary’s car, dumping it down on the ground outside Departures.
‘They’re sending the rest of your stuff over in the next couple of days, right?’ Gary asked, shutting the car door and leaning back against it.
‘Yeah. I’ll just pick it up from LAX as soon as it arrives.’
‘I can’t believe you’re really going, mate. I guess I always thought you might change your mind, y’know? After everything that happened with Jim.’
‘That was the one thing that made me realise I had to go,’ Ryan said, sticking his hands in his pockets as he looked around him, taking in one of his last glimpses of his beloved north-east England, for a while, at least. And even though he fully intended to be making regular trips back here, it still felt like he was leaving this place forever. ‘She’s never gonna let him go, Gary.’ Ryan’s voice was quiet, the resigned tone almost permanent now. ‘Not after this.’
‘Come here,’ Gary stood up and enveloped his best friend in a huge hug. ‘I’m gonna frigging miss you. It’s gonna be so fucking boring without you around.’
Ryan smiled, hugging Gary back. ‘I’m sure you’ll find yourself another partner-in-crime. Maybe one that doesn’t give you quite so much grief, huh?’
‘Yeah. The grief I can do without. Seriously, though, I really am gonna miss you.’
Ryan stuck his hands back in his pockets, once more looking out around him. ‘I’m gonna miss you, too.’ He turned to face his friend. ‘And thanks, Gary. For everything. I really mean that. If it hadn’t been for you and Debbie…’
‘Forget all that. Come on! You’re going to fucking L.A., man! How big is that? You’re gonna make David Beckham look like an amateur.’
Ryan couldn’t help but laugh. ‘Well, I’m not sure about that.’ He stared down at his trainers, a sudden sadness washing over him that didn’t escape Gary’s notice.
‘You okay?’
‘When she was there, last night, I… I just wanted to hold her and tell her to come with me - beg her to come with me, and I could have done. I could have done that, but… it would have been pointless. And yet, I still wanted to try. Because leaving here is killing me, Gary. Leaving her, leaving Rico… I thought they were my future, y’know? I thought we were gonna be a family, and when I think…’ He stopped talking, throwing back his head and blinking away tears he’d promised himself he wouldn’t cry. ‘I still love her, so fucking much.’
‘Jesus, mate, I really had no idea things were so bad.’
‘He won,’ Ryan whispered. ‘And I’m not gonna stand here and say it was a fair game, because it wasn’t. He played dirty, and he broke the rules. But, ultimately, it doesn’t really matter how you play the game, does it? It’s the end result that counts. And I can’t change that final score.’
Gary scuffed his heels against the tyres of his Mercedes, shoving his hands in his pockets as he looked at Ryan. ‘You’re gonna be okay, mate. You know that, don’t you? You’re gonna be better than okay.’
Ryan nodded, wiping his eyes with his forearm, throwing his head back again as he took a deep breath. ‘Yeah. I know. I know.’
Gary reached out and gently squeezed Ryan’s arm. ‘You take care of yourself, okay? And call me the second you get there. You lucky bastard.’
Ryan smiled, giving Gary one more hug. ‘Keep an eye on her, please.’
Gary nodded.
‘Okay, I’d… I’d better get in there. Max’ll be waiting.’
‘As soon as you get there,’ Gary shouted as he climbed back into his car.
Ryan watched as he drove off, taking one more look around. It seemed fairly quiet, but that was good. If there was one thing Ryan didn’t want today it was any attention being drawn to what was happening. They’d deliberately chosen today for his departure to the States because Max had told him everyone – and by that he meant the media – would be far more concerned with Amber and Jim’s “wedding.” So they’d tried to keep all of this as much of a secret as it could be. And so far it seemed to be working.
But just the thought of Amber with Jim caused another wave of pain to wash over him and he had to close his eyes again to stop more tears from escaping.
‘Ryan?’
His eyes shot open and he swung around at the sound of that voice, his heart feeling as though
it had stopped dead, before it struck up a rhythm so fast he couldn’t catch his breath. She stood there, tanned and pretty, his beautiful baby boy balanced on one of those incredible hips. And he couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across his face as Rico stretched out his arms and reached out for him, shouting “dada, dada!” over and over again until Ryan took him.
‘Hey there, little man. I didn’t think I’d be seeing you again for a while.’ He kissed Rico quickly, before looking over at Amber. She had her arms folded, her eyes locked onto his. ‘I… I didn’t think…’
‘I had to see you, Ryan. I mean, I know I saw you last night, but… I had to see you.’
Ryan felt a wave of hope flood his body as she moved closer. ‘Tell me you’ve changed your mind,’ he whispered. ‘Please, Amber. Please tell me you’ve changed your mind.’
Amber felt tears start to fall silently and slowly down her cheeks and she immediately wiped them away with her fist. ‘I just need you to know I love you, Ryan. I need you to know that.’
Ryan couldn’t stop his voice from shaking, tears of his own starting to fall from his eyes, but at the same time he couldn’t stop smiling as Rico wiped them away with his tiny hand.
‘But it’s not the same. I… it isn’t the same. The way I love you, it isn’t the same way I love him, Ryan.’
‘Oh, Jesus…’ Ryan felt that wave of hope being washed away by a painful despair so strong that breath was catching in his throat again. It hurt like never before, and he’d certainly felt pain over the past few years. ‘Amber, baby, please…’
She shook her head, folding her arms against herself, her eyes still looking deep into his. ‘Maybe this is selfish, you know? Maybe this is the most selfish thing I have ever done, but, when I asked Ronnie to bring me here… when I asked him to do that, I didn’t know what I would do when I saw you. And that’s the truth, Ryan. I didn’t know if I was suddenly going to want to come with you because something happened this morning… something I can’t explain, but it happened, and for a few, brief seconds I honestly didn’t know what I was going to do.’
‘Come with me. I love you both so much, Amber, you know that…’
‘I can’t,’ she whispered. ‘Ryan, I can’t. Now that I’m here… Jesus. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come.’
‘No. No, I’m glad you’re here.’ He threw his head back quickly, hoping those tears would fall away, but more kept on coming and all he could do was hold his little boy close and make the most of what were obviously his last few minutes with the two people he loved most in the world. And, for once in his life, one of them wasn’t himself. ‘I’m glad, Amber.’
Their eyes locked together one more time, and she moved a little closer, not stopping him when he reached out for her hand, his fingers wrapping around hers.
‘I love you, Amber.’
She could hardly see through the tears now, and watching him cry was breaking her heart, but she’d had to do this. It was the only way she was going to know for sure that she was making the right decision.
‘I love you, too, Ryan.’
‘Just not the same way you love him, huh?’
She stared deep into those dark, dark-blue eyes of his, trying desperately to get a handle on this pain now. She’d made her decision. Right there, in that very second, she’d made her decision. She shook her head.
‘So he really did win, in the end,’ Ryan whispered.
Amber looked down briefly, pulling her hand out of Ryan’s, closing her eyes for a second, opening them to see tears hit the concrete below. ‘He’s my forever man, Ryan. And I just can’t change that. I can’t.’
Ryan kissed Rico again, stroking his hair as he snuggled in tighter against him. ‘This really is it, then.’
She nodded, her eyes back on his. ‘I guess it is.’ She took another step closer. And as her eyes closed again she felt his mouth touch hers, a kiss so beautiful and so special it broke her heart a million times over, when she’d doubted there was anything left there to break. It was a kiss goodbye that said so much more, and before she knew it she was in his arms, and he was holding her and their baby so tightly it was leaving her breathless. But it was the most beautiful kiss. And a part of her didn’t want it to end. A part of her wanted to stay there forever as all the memories of her time with this man played out in her head, all merging together, making her realise she would never be able to truly let him go. And what that meant for the future, she really couldn’t say. All she knew was that right now she had to say goodbye.
‘Make sure he looks after you. Both of you,’ Ryan whispered, his forehead resting against hers.
‘He will. I promise you, he will.’
His mouth touched hers again, another kiss that sent a shot of pain cutting across her chest.
‘I’ll speak to you soon, okay?’
He nodded, finally pulling away from her. ‘Yeah. Yeah, you will.’ He looked at Rico, who had a slightly confused expression on his little face. ‘Okay, my beautiful little man. Daddy’s got to go now. But, you take care of your mum, you hear me? And be good for your Uncle Jim.’
Amber had to close her eyes again as he said that, biting down on her lip because she was tired of crying. She was tired of it. But when she opened her eyes, she was just in time to see Ryan give Rico the biggest hug, kissing him gently before he handed him back to her.
‘Shouldn’t you be somewhere else?’ he asked, trying to lighten the mood.
‘Yeah… yeah, I probably should… I’d better go, huh? I don’t want you to be late.’
‘Amber, I…Have a good day, okay? And when you walk up that aisle to him you be beautiful and you be strong and you know… you know that if you ever need me… if you ever need me, baby, then you just come running. You come running. And I promise you, I’ll be there. I promise you.’
She looked at him, trying to smile, but those tears that wouldn’t stop falling seemed to be putting up a barrier to any other emotion right now. And the only thing she could do before she broke down completely was walk away and not look back.
‘You come running,’ he whispered, watching as she headed back to Ronnie. Watching as his world walked away.
But, this was it now. The result was in. The final score was settled. And as he looked up at the sky, shielding his eyes from the bright sunshine, he watched a plane take off into the air, heading somewhere far away. He knew that’s where his future was now. Away from here. So, yes, this result may have been decided; this score may have been settled. But nothing was ever really final. He just needed to move onto the next game.
Michelle Betham
I’m an ex-media technician turned rock-music-loving author of hot, sexy romance and chick lit with a kick! My love of books began the second I could read, and some of my happiest memories are of me curled up in bed as a child devouring every Malory Towers and Famous Five book I could get my hands on. As the years progressed I read everything from horror to Harry Potter,
Jackie Collins to Jilly Cooper, but I always knew that I wanted to write romance. I love the idea of escapism – of creating a world in which readers can lose themselves, and characters they’ll want to spend time with. And thanks to inspiration from the aforementioned Ms. Collins, I always knew that I wanted to write romance of the more racy variety, and to be able to do that every day is a dream come true for me.
After a spell living on the beautiful Canarian island of Tenerife, I’m now back in the UK and settled in County Durham with my wonderful husband and my gorgeous West Highland Terrier, Archie. A proud Geordie girl, I adore the north east of England, but I also love the odd glass of wine, Keanu Reeves, a decent TV drama, Peter Kay… and darts!
You can follow me on Twitter @michellebetham, find me on Facebook www.facebook.com/AuthorMichelleBetham or chat to me on my blog http://michellebethamwriter.blogspot.co.uk/.
About HarperImpulse
HarperImpulse is an exciting new range of romance fiction brought to you from the women’s fiction team at HarperCo
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