Love Songs

by Constance Bretes

  “Jake, Jennifer would bring the house down at the casino if she were to sing with our band even just one night!” Jon said.

  Anna had explained to Jennifer earlier that Jon was married to Vincent’s sister Rosie. She vaguely remembered Rosie stopping in occasionally when the band rehearsed. Jonathan played steel guitar for the band, as well as operating a coin laundromat in downtown Jarillo. His mother turned it over to him and Rosie when she retired.

  “Let’s give it a try now and see how it goes,” Jon said, urging the rest of the band.

  “Okay. Let’s try it out,” Jake said.

  All the guys went back to their musical instruments as Jake continued to stare at Jennifer.

  He handed her the sheet music, and she recognized it immediately. She went to the center of the group, picked up the mike, and started singing when the band started playing. The song was a beautiful love song, I Love You Always, Forever. The rhythm and percussion instrumentation added to it, making it a mesmerizing song. The song held a special meaning for Jennifer when she sang it. She always thought of Jake, even after all these years. Jennifer was captivated by the lyrics and the rhythm, as her old feelings about Jake began to slowly emerge.

  Jake did not disappoint her with his percussion as the song died away. Jennifer turned and looked over at Jake, admiring his beautiful black hair. It was loose and flowing down his back. His very strong and muscular arms bore tattoos of Apache symbols.

  Jennifer wondered why she had agreed to do this and if she would be able to rehearse and perform with Jake again after all these years.

  Calvin interrupted Jennifer’s thoughts. “That was beautiful. I don’t know if we need to do much to improve this song prior to playing it at the gig this Friday night.”

  Other members of the band readily agreed.

  Vincent had said something, but Jennifer was so fixated on Jake she didn’t hear it. When she realized Vincent was talking to her, she looked away from Jake, embarrassed. She became aware that she had been staring at him and not paying much attention to the others. “I’m sorry, Vincent, what did you say?”

  “Would it be possible to do a couple of your songs?” Vincent repeated the question.

  She thought about it for a moment. “I think it would be okay to play a few of my songs, if it’s okay with Jake.”

  Jake didn’t say anything as Vincent pulled out the sheet music for the song Maybe Later. This song had reached the top of the Billboard Charts a few years ago, so he suggested they start with that one.

  “Okay, let’s try it,” Jake finally said, letting out a sigh.

  She knew the song by heart so she had no need for the music sheet, and the band swung into the fast beat for Maybe Later as she sang the song.

  After they were done with that song, she asked, “Do you ever do Love Songs? The song you wrote for me?”

  “No. Do you want to do it?” Jake asked, raising his eyebrow.

  “Yes, I loved that song.” Jennifer smiled pensively at him.

  “All right, let me go to the house and get the music.” Jake got up and left for a few minutes. When he returned, he handed everyone the sheet music and they practiced it a couple of times. “We’ll have to practice it some more and memorize it before we can play it on stage, so let’s move on to other songs,” Jake suggested.

  The band rehearsed a few more songs from other pop singers, working through some of them a couple of times to tweak them out.

  At the end of the session, as everyone got ready to leave, Jennifer approached Jake. She observed again how handsome he still was, and that he didn’t seem to have aged much. He still looked good for thirty years old. She felt like she was wearing her heart on her sleeve and her stomach did summersaults.

  “Are you okay with this?” she asked. “I can bow out if it makes you too uncomfortable.”

  “I’m okay with it if you are. How long will you be staying here?”

  “I really don’t know yet. I’m trying to sort some stuff out about what I want to do with my life. How have you been, Jake?” Jennifer asked, concerned after hearing he’d been shot.

  “Fine, as you can see. Still doing the gigs at the casino.”

  “Anna told me that you got shot. Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine.” He stared into her eyes.

  “They haven’t found the person that shot you?”

  “No.”

  “She said it happened at the casino.”

  “Yes. It was dark, and I was outside by myself. I didn’t even see the shooter.”

  “I’m so glad you recovered from it,” Jennifer said gratefully.

  “Yeah, it was scary for a while. Where have you been?” he asked. “Seems you dropped out of sight for a few years.”

  “I did some volunteer work in Africa.” Jennifer felt pleased when she realized Jake had noticed her absence.

  “You didn’t do any oversea tours then?” Jake asked, surprised.

  “No, I didn’t.”

  As Jake, Kaitlin, and Jennifer walked toward the door, Jake said, “When we rehearse you might want to dress more casual, with sensible shoes. We meet here about two in the afternoon and rehearse until sometimes as late as seven or eight.”

  “I’m most comfortable in these shoes when performing, but I’ll do what you recommended.” As she approached her car, Jennifer reached for the door handle, then turned and looked at Jake and Kaitlin. “Well, I’ll be seeing you tomorrow then. Nice to meet you, Kaitlin.”

  Jake nodded, and he and Kaitlin walked on toward his house as Jennifer got into the car.

  Chapter 3

  When Jake got to the door of his house, he heard Jennifer’s car as it drove off, and he turned to watch it go down the road. He had known Jennifer since she was about twelve or thirteen years old. He had recruited her to sing in his band. She was a beautiful young girl, and he’d always liked her. She never threw a temper tantrum or got bossy or moody. It seemed to him that from childhood to young adulthood, she was a happy person.

  He remembered the fight they had when she’d been offered her first recording contract. She wanted him to just up and leave everything behind and go with her. But his roots were in Jarillo, and he didn’t intend to leave. She told him that she’d hoped they would eventually get married and have a family, and he remembered his response to her. “We would never be able to get married. I don’t want marriage and a family.”

  He’d never forget the hurt look on her face and in her eyes. She went on and became a famous recording artist, and he faded into the background, doing his own thing.

  Not that he didn’t have money and have things going on as well. After attending college and getting his master’s degree in business administration, he started working at the corporate offices of Apache White Eagle Casino, and he quickly rose through the ranks and became the CEO. The elders liked what he envisioned for the future of the casino, and now they were embarking on a new adventure that had taken several years to develop.

  Sometimes he felt lonely, and he often thought about Jennifer. He had gone to quite a few of her concerts when she toured. He also wondered if she could ever settle down in one place after traveling as extensively as she had.

  He had to let her go, because that was the opportunity of a lifetime for her. He knew that the only way for her to get moving on toward her career was for him to end it. And he did. However, he hadn’t intended on hurting her as badly as he did. The words “We would never be able to get married, I don’t want marriage and a family” slipped out of his mouth, and he had regretted those words ever since. They came back to haunt him every night.

  He wondered now if the two of them would ever be on the same level playing field again. Her singing ability certainly fit with the band, but could she ever consider staying in one place? He continued to wonder if she was involved with someone or maybe going through a breakup. So many questions and no answers.

  Jake loved the idea of Jennifer singing with his band, he just didn’t know how he was
going to handle his emotions. He loved to hear her sing, her voice sounded so silky and golden. In fact, he had purchased all her CDs and sometimes when he couldn’t sleep at night, he’d let her sing him to sleep. When listening to her sing, he felt like he was in a world where only the only two people who existed were him and Jennifer.

  * * * *

  The next morning, Jennifer was sitting at a table in the corner of the Jarillo café when a few young fans stopped by and asked for her autograph. She happily agreed.

  As she sipped on her coffee, Anna came in, plopped down at the table, and started chatting away. “I thought the rehearsal went great, didn’t you?”

  “Yes, the rehearsal went fine,” Jennifer responded quietly.

  “So what have you got going on today?” Anna asked.

  “After breakfast I’m going out to my parents’ ranch to wait for the utility company to come out and hook up the electric. The pool company is also coming over to check out the pool. I’ll be uncovering all the furniture and getting the bedroom ready so I can move out of the inn and stay at the house.”

  “That sounds like fun,” Anna said, laughing. “Do you by any chance need an extra helping hand? Right now I’m kind of bored waddling around waiting for this baby to make his entrance into the world.”

  “Ah, so it’s a boy, huh?” Jennifer smiled at Anna.

  “Yes, a boy it is. Rocky is so excited about it.”

  “Aren’t you excited about the baby?” Jennifer asked, raising her eyebrows.

  “Yes, I am, I’m just tired of carrying it. Know what I mean?”

  Jennifer nodded. She didn’t though, as she had never had any children, but she didn’t say anything.

  “If you want to come out and help me, I’d welcome the company.” Jennifer smiled.

  “Cool. It gives me something to do, and I can get reacquainted with you.”

  They ordered breakfast, and after they finished eating Anna followed Jennifer out to her parents’ ranch. The electric company was already at the end of the driveway, hooking up the electricity to the post. Jennifer unlocked the house and they both went inside. The technicians from the electric company followed them in, and Jennifer led them to the utility room.

  Anna started to pull the sheets and covers off the furniture and put them in a nice folded stack on the table. After the electricity was turned on and the technicians had left, Jennifer flipped the central air on and the house started to cool down.

  The gentleman from the pool company arrived, and she led him out to the pool. She answered his questions as he checked the pump and the filtration system. After he’d finished his inspection, he told her the pool needed to be cleaned before he could put the water in it. He made plans to come back later that day to clean the pool. Because the well water was hard, he arranged to have water brought in the next morning.

  Jennifer went back in the house and checked to make sure the hot water tank worked. She and Anna proceeded into her former bedroom. Jennifer checked the linen closet and noted that the sheets were still in there, folded nice and neatly. She selected a set and took them out to the washing machine to clean and remove the dust. After that, she then went into her parents’ bedroom, but decided she would just leave the room alone for now. Everything seemed to be in pretty good shape even though the house hadn’t been lived in for a few years.

  Anna went through the house, dusting down the furniture, and Jennifer ran the vacuum over the carpet. At about noon, they decided they couldn’t do much more and they needed some lunch, so they left the house and drove to Yen King for Chinese food.

  * * * *

  While they sat waiting for their order, Anna said, “Jenn, I hope you don’t mind my asking, but what really happened between you and Jake that made you two break up?”

  Jennifer thought about how to answer for a moment. “Merv Jackson offered me a recording contract, which didn’t include Jake. I wanted him to come with me anyway. I told him we’d work it out, but he said no. We got into a fight about it, and broke up. I left for California the next day.”

  “Jake can be a bullheaded fool sometimes,” Anna said.

  Jennifer laughed. She never thought of Jake as a fool. Bullheaded? Yes. But she doubted Anna would ever get away with saying something like that to his face.

  “But I guess, if you think about it, that probably would have been a hard pill to swallow. Girlfriend gets a big recording contract and he’s just along for the ride. I don’t know of a lot of guys who would sit still for it,” Anna continued.

  “We were pretty close. We didn’t have any long-term commitment, nor was there a marriage proposal or anything like that, but I felt we were a couple just the same. I was positive that we could find him a spot either working with me or some other band. It hurt that he wouldn’t come with me. Some of the things he said to me were really hurtful,” Jennifer added sadly.

  “Jake usually doesn’t give way to his feelings. What did he say?” Anna wanted to know.

  “I dreamed and hoped we would eventually get married and have a family. I told Jake that was one of the reasons I wanted him to come with me. He stared straight at me with anger in his eyes and said that marriage would never happen between us. He didn’t want marriage and a family with me. I thought that we were meant for each other, and then he dropped that bomb. I know, of course, that I was very foolish back then. Life on the road doing performances really opened my eyes. I’m no longer the naïve woman I was.” Jennifer took a bite of her chow mein. Try telling that to my wayward heart.

  “Did I make things more uncomfortable by dragging you into the studio to sing in my place? If so, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize the breakup was so painful.”

  “No, I’m not that uncomfortable really. I mean, we’re supposed to be adults and be able to handle our emotions. I learned that lesson right away. It isn’t always glamorous being a pop singer. There’s a lot of hard work and dedication involved with it, as well as putting aside your emotions and fatigue.” Eager to move on to another topic, she asked, “How did you meet Rocky?”

  “Well, Rocky is seven years older than me. You probably don’t remember him as he was two years ahead of Jake in school. He came from an abusive home where his parents fought all the time. His dad was killed in a truck accident one night on his way home, drunk from the bar. Granddad really liked Rocky and brought him to our house a lot to sort of mentor him. Anyway, I’ve known him since I was a little girl and fell in love with him after I graduated high school. It took Rocky a while to come around. He thought of me as a little sister. It wasn’t until I...um, showed a little cleavage, that he actually noticed me.” Anna smiled at Jennifer. “He treats me wonderfully, although he’s been grumpy a lot lately. I think it’s from working all that extra overtime.”

  “Where does he work?” Jennifer asked.

  “He’s an electrician at Hobbs Power Company. He works on the line, either hooking up power, restoring power, or upgrading the substations,” Anna answered.

  “He sounds like a really nice person and a good husband to you.”

  Chapter 4

  Jennifer and Anna parted ways after lunch, and Jennifer went to Jake’s studio for rehearsal. When she walked in, the guys were already practicing the background music for one of the songs they had been rehearsing yesterday.

  “Hi, Jake,” Jennifer said as she walked up to him.

  “Hello. Are you ready to work out a bit?”

  “I think so.” Jennifer gazed at him and then glanced around the room, not wanting to reveal how excited she was to be back with the band and to be singing again.

  After the first few songs, Jake went to his house to get the sheet music he wanted the band to work on. While he was gone, Vincent came over to Jennifer and they started talking. “You know, Jake doesn’t express his feelings much, but he was pretty torn up about your leaving all those years ago to go with that recording company. We went to quite a few of your concerts. I always enjoyed them and came back to tell the band about it.
But Jake was always in a somber mood after the concerts, seemed to be withdrawn and quiet.”

  Jennifer looked up at him, surprised “Really? I didn’t know you two came to my concerts. I also didn’t think Jake would want anything more to do with me, especially after the way we parted.”

  “I think he took it really hard when you guys broke up.”

  “I don’t understand how that’s possible after the things he said to me,” Jennifer said.

  “Sometimes people say things they don’t mean, intending to cover up their true feelings. I know he didn’t want you to go, but he wouldn’t stop you from going. He wanted you to live out your dream and never have to say I wonder what it would have been like. You know what I mean?” Vincent looked at Jennifer closely.

  “I have to confess that I’ve stopped by the Apache White Eagle Casino to see you guys play. And to see Jake,” she added with a smile.

  “You have? How come you never came up to speak to us? It would have been good to see you again, and I know Jake would have been pleased to know you cared.”

  “Probably the same reason you and Jake never came backstage to see me after the concerts.” Jennifer looked sadly at Vincent.

  Jake returned with the sheet music, and they worked the jam session until about six-thirty when Jake called an end to it. Jake walked her out to her car. As he stood next to it, he asked her, “Where are you staying?”

  “I’m at the Black Bear Inn right now, but this will be my last night there. I plan to move into the ranch tomorrow.” She looked up at him. He stood so close she could smell the musk on him.

  “Have you decided what you’re going to do?” He had his back to the sun, casting a shadow over his face, so she couldn’t read him.

  “No, I haven’t decided yet.”

  “Why is this a big decision?”

  “There are some things that happened that I need to sort out.” Jennifer decided not to elaborate any more than necessary.

  “Do you think you could stay here in Jarillo?” Jake wondered aloud.