I Speak...Love (A Different Road Book 3)

by Annalisa Nicole

  He stands up from his seat, still holding Joss’s wrist, then pleads, “Joss, please don’t go. I need to apologize to you. I’m so sorry for how I’ve been behaving. Before I met you, I was a broken man. I’m still learning to put the pieces back together. I’m completely lost without you in my life.” Joss stays put, but doesn’t look at him. Even though he can’t see, his pale, blue eyes connect with each person sitting at the table, then he continues, “I need to apologize to everyone sitting at this table. I’m not proud of a lot of the things I’ve done this past year. I met the best thing that ever happened to me, and she agreed to marry me even knowing the kind of man I can be. I don’t mean to, but I keep hurting the people that matter the most to me. Last night, I did a lot of thinking about myself. I don’t have an excuse, just my sincere apology and my promise not to do it anymore. Joss, I want to be the man that you can be proud of and believe in. Kate and Stephen, I want to be the brother you can trust and look up to. This right here, everyone sitting at this table is what life is about, what my life is about now. Stephen, I’m so very sorry about yesterday,” he says, looking at me. He takes Joss’s wrist with his other hand, then he extends his right hand out toward me. I look at Maddy and see the tears rippling in her eyes, threatening to pour down her cheeks. I look back at River and firmly place my hand in his. The relief on his face is instant as he shakes my hand exhaling his held breath. He lets go, then he runs his hand over his chin in an attempt to control his emotions. “Joss, please, I know I don’t deserve you, but I’m begging you on my knees,” he says, getting down on his knees in front of her. “Please come back to me. Please give me one more chance. I promise not to ever ask you for another chance because I swear to you on my life, I’ll never give you a reason to need it.”

  Joss slowly pulls her wrist out of River’s grasp, then she looks at Maddy and starts to walk away. The entire table lets out a collective gasp as we all watch her walk toward the hallway.

  “Joss,” Maddy tearfully calls through the silence. Joss stops walking, but doesn’t turn around. “They’re family. Families fight, they do things, they say things, but they always . . . always come back to each other no matter what. You, you’re a part of this family,” she says to Joss’s back.

  Joss doesn’t move for a full minute, then she continues through the room, down the hallway and into a bedroom. River is still on his knees and with every footstep Joss takes, his head hangs further and further down. She comes back out a few minutes later with her purse tightly gripped in her hand. Maddy gets up from the table and walks over to Joss. She stops in front of her, then she quickly rips Joss’s purse out of her hands, runs back to me, then hides behind my back.

  “Wherever you’re going, you’re going without your purse,” she says loudly to my back.

  Joss shakes her head, then calmly walks to the table and stands in front of me.

  She peers around me, looks at Maddy and says, “You didn’t need to steal my purse, I had already made up my mind. Josh, can you do me a huge favor?” Joss asks, looking at Josh.

  “Anything, just name it,” he answers immediately.

  “Can you bring my things back over to the house after breakfast?” she asks.

  “Really?” Maddy asks, shocked, stepping out from behind me, clutching Joss’s purse to her chest.

  Joss gives Maddy a small smile, then she walks over to River and stops directly in front of him. He lifts his head, then his hands wrap around the back of her calves.

  “Let’s go home,” Joss says, running her fingers in River’s hair from his temple to behind his ear.

  River stands up, then he wraps her tightly in his arms. He pulls away and places his hands on either side of Joss’s face. She slowly moves in and kisses him. He lets go of Joss, then he walks over to me.

  He again extends his hand, then says, “I’m truly sorry, brother. I love you with all my heart.”

  I place my hand in his and again shake his hand, as I say, “I love you, too brother.”

  His hand wraps around my upper back as he claps me on the shoulder in a tight hug. I’ve never hugged River before, not that I can remember, and it feels amazing. Kate clears her throat next to us, then both River, and I open up a space for her. She squeezes between us and hugs us both. There’s not a dry eye between the three of us and as we let each other go, I see there’s not a dry eye sitting at the table either.

  River laces his fingers through Joss’s hand, then Joss walks to Maddy, who is now standing next to my side. Maddy raises Joss’s purse, and she takes it with a smile. Joss and River walk toward the front door, but before they leave, Joss reaches her hand into her purse and takes out a set of keys, Maddy’s house keys with the camera keychain. She looks at Maddy with a smile as she slides them toward the center of the counter, then still smiling at Maddy, her fingers grab her bus ticket, then she slides it off the counter and shoves it inside her purse.

  “Cooper, I’m borrowing your car again,” Joss calls over her shoulder, then they walk out the front door.

  Maddy and I turn back around to the table and look at everyone. We take our seats, but no one moves or picks up their forks to eat. I’m sure everyone’s breakfast is cold by now. No one likes cold scrambled eggs.

  “Maddy, do you have any pickles in the refrigerator?” Nina asks, patting Josh on the arm, then she shoves a forkful of eggs into her mouth.

  “Pickles . . . for breakfast?” I repeat.

  “What? The baby wants pickles,” Nina replies, then everyone laughs.

  With a smile on his face, Josh gets up to retrieve a jar of pickles for Nina.

  “He’s just finishing up a meeting with a client in the conference room. Go ahead on in. He should only be a few more minutes,” Caleigh says, releasing me from her anaconda hug.

  “Thanks,” I say, adjusting my boobs in my bra. I then get a huge smile on my face when I see Caleigh adjusting her own boobs underneath her silk dress shirt. It’s now become a little game between us of who can squeeze harder. Caleigh may have more years of experience in the anaconda death hug squeezing department, but I have a solid core thanks to Kate’s yoga classes. “Hey, how did your date go last night?” I ask, adjusting the strap of my catering bag on my shoulder.

  “Don’t ask,” she sighs, taking her seat behind her desk.

  “That bad? You really need to let me set you up with my new client. He’s a doctor, and he’s oh so gorgeous,” I sing-song, wagging my eyebrows at her with a smile.

  “I’ll think about it,” she says as her phone rings on her desk.

  “I’ll tell you all about him later,” I whisper as she picks up the phone and answers it.

  I walk into Stephen’s office and set my catering bag down between the two dark leather chairs in front of his desk.

  It’s been three weeks since Joss confiscated my bus ticket to nowhere special. In those three weeks, I’ve done a lot of inner soul searching. I’ve come to realize that I’m not a product of my past. I spent so many years expecting that people would fail me and that everything good in my life would be taken away from me that I forgot how to fight for myself. I spent so many years living half a life that I let it become my normal.

  I reach into the side pocket of my catering bag and remove the now framed photo of myself that Stephen took of me almost a month ago right here in this office. When I first saw this photo, I didn’t recognize the happy, smiling woman staring back at me. She had the same eyes, same nose, same color hair, and the same splattering of freckles. At first, I only kept the photo as a reminder of what happens when I allowed myself to look like that. I still have the same nose, the same color hair, and the same splattering of freckles, but there’s now a sparkle to my eyes and that smile . . . well, that smile is always there now.

  I place the frame on Stephen’s desk, turn it around so he can see it when he sits down in his chair, then I sit back in the chair. Not even a minute later, I feel a pin being removed from the bun in my hair. A smile creeps up my face as Stephen lets
my hair down. He gently runs his fingers through it, sweeps it off my neck, then his warm lips softly press to the back of my neck.

  “How’s your day, Sweetness?” he asks, then kisses my neck again.

  “Fantastic,” I reply. “How’s your day?” I ask with a smile.

  “I didn’t think it couldn’t get any better, but seeing you sitting in my office waiting for me just made it perfect,” he replies.

  It’s also been three weeks since Stephen has had a headache. Every day Stephen and I start our morning together, taking Kate’s beginner yoga class. Between his medication, exercise, and the healthy food I make sure he eats, he’s been headache free and thank God he has not had another seizure. He’s been managing his diabetes very well.

  “What’s for lunch today?” he asks, taking a seat next to me.

  As I unzip the bag to take out our lunch container there’s a knock on the door, then it opens.

  “Hey, bro. Can you join me for lunch today?” River asks. He takes a visible sniff in the air, then says, “Oh, hey, Maddy. I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were here. Caleigh wasn’t at her desk. You two enjoy your lunch,” he says, then starts to shut the door.

  “No, River wait. It’s alright. I have somewhere I need to be. Come on in. I made tuna pita sandwiches with cucumber, tomato, feta, and olives,” I tell him standing up.

  “That sounds great!” River says.

  “Are you sure?” Stephen whispers.

  I shake my head yes, then walk over to River, take his elbow, and lead him to my vacated chair.

  Stephen stands up, takes a chunk of my hair in his hand, gently runs his fingers to the end, smiles at me, then places a kiss on my lips.

  “Are you sure you don’t mind?” River asks.

  “Not at all. In fact, I insist. You two enjoy lunch,” I say, walking to the door.

  “We’re still on for dinner tonight at my place, right?” Stephen asks, walking up behind me.

  “Absolutely. I’ll see you tonight after work,” I reply.

  “I’ll bring your catering bag home with me,” he says, then leans in and kisses me one last time.

  Stephen walks back and has a seat next to River. As Stephen takes out the lunch containers, I can’t help but smile. Those two have come such a long way together. The dynamic between them has changed so drastically. On the days Stephen and I don’t eat lunch together, he’s guaranteed to eat with River and not just in River’s office either or necessarily with Josh. Which Josh is loving, too. He’s been able to spend more time with Nina, and he’s been able to be at every prenatal appointment with her.

  “How did the Jones meeting go?” River asks Stephen as I close the door behind me.

  As I walk to the elevator, I pass Caleigh in the hallway.

  “Is everything OK?” Caleigh asks, concerned.

  “Great! River and Stephen are having lunch in his office. I’m so setting you up on that blind date though with my new client!” I say as I hit the button on the elevator.

  “We’ll see,” Caleigh replies.

  I get in my van and drive a few blocks away to my next destination. I park, then grab my purse, a special container and walk toward the entrance. The bell joyfully jingles over the door as I enter, and I’m greeted by the salesman.

  “Good afternoon, Maddy,” he greets with a smile, then he automatically retrieves the sales book.

  “Hey, Joel. I’ve come to make another payment,” I tell him, setting the container of my famous chocolate chip cookies on the counter. The day after I promised Joss the twenty-four hours, I came back to the camera shop and made a deal with Joel. I now make him small weekly deposits until the original purchase price of the camera is paid off, then he’s going to refund Stephen his payment back on his credit card. Stephen doesn’t exactly know it yet, but I have a feeling he’ll completely understand. I need to do this myself. I might be making these payments to Joel for the next two years, but in the end, I’ll have fulfilled a lifelong dream. It’s funny now that I think about it, I didn’t need the full twenty-four hours I promised Joss, it was more like only eight. “Here you go,” I tell him, placing this week’s payment on the glass counter top.

  “Let me just mark it off,” he says, opening the sales book. “Yep, just like I thought. This is your last payment. Let me go grab your camera for you,” he says, quickly walking away.

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hang on there just a second. I’m pretty sure I have at least five million more payments to make,” I tell him facetiously, stopping him.

  Joel agreed to the payments, and he agreed to refund Stephen, he also insisted on giving me my camera back the day we made the deal. That last part I couldn’t agree to. Even though it would most likely speed up the process because possibly I could start doing photo shoots again, I need it to be this way. I asked Nina to temporarily take down the beautiful website she made for me until I have my camera back. Without question, she did. But there seems to be something fishy going on here.

  “Nope, it says right here, paid in full. See,” he says, showing me the log book.

  “Did Stephen have something to do with this?” I ask.

  I didn’t tell anyone our agreement because I knew something like this would happen. How did he find out about it?

  “Stephen? Hmmm, is Stephen the one who originally made the purchase?” Joel asks, patting his finger on his lips, pretending to play dumb.

  “Joel,” I warn.

  There’s a long moment of silence as we both challenge each other to a stare down.

  “Oh, alright! But it wasn’t just Stephen,” Joel confesses.

  “It wasn’t? What exactly do you mean?” I ask, squinting my eyes at him.

  “Stephen, Kate, Joss, Nina, Josh, Cooper, and River, have all been in and have been making payments. At first, it started out small, and I didn’t think you’d notice. But by the time all seven of them had made multiple payments it was almost paid off except for this last payment,” he says.

  Again, we do the challenging stare down thing, then I realize a lifelong dream is still a lifelong dream no matter how it was achieved in the end. And actually, I think I’m loving the fact that every single one of my friends . . . no, my family, helped me achieve it. Joel searches my face, not exactly sure what my reaction is going to be.

  “I’m going to miss seeing your face every week, Joel,” I say, then smile at him.

  His face lights up, then he smacks his hand down on the glass with excitement.

  “I’m going to miss these cookies,” he says, taking the cookies and turning his back to me. “I’ll go get your camera,” he says in a wavering voice, then walks into the back room. He comes back out and sets the familiar black backpack down on the counter in front of me. The smell immediately hits me and just like the first day I got it, I bend down and give it a good sniff. “Good stuff, right?” Joel asks.

  I nod my head, yes, then I unzip the black backpack. There she is. Pride swells in my chest, then excitement at the thought of getting to use it again. I take it out and feel its heavy weight. I smile at the small crack in the shell. It’s still me, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I’m not a product of my past, but that doesn’t mean my past didn’t help shape the person who I am today. I wouldn’t change any of my cracks. I don’t know exactly what it is just yet, but there’s a reason I lived through what I did.

  “Um, Joel?” I question as I see a wireless remote control system tucked neatly inside the backpack. It allows you to take photographs without pushing the actual button on the camera, you use a small handheld remote instead.

  “Oh, sorry. I have to go. There’s someone at the back door with a delivery,” he says, hightailing it out of the showroom.

  I shake my head with a smile as I pack my camera back into its secure spot. I need to get going, or I’m going to be late for my next client. I sling my backpack over my shoulder and the bell jingles over the doorframe as I exit the camera shop. I get in my van just as my cell phone rings. I look at the display
and see it’s Kate calling.

  “Hey, what’s up?” I answer.

  “Just checking in to see how your lunch went with Stephen,” she says.

  “I didn’t end up having lunch with him. I left it there for him and River,” I tell her, pushing the speaker button on my cell phone.

  I set it on the seat as I start to back out of my parking spot.

  “That was nice of you. It makes me so happy when I see the two of them together,” she says. “Hey, Cooper has a late meeting tonight. I was wondering if you wanted to grab dinner with me?” she asks.

  “Ooh, sorry. I have dinner plans with Stephen tonight. Hey, why don’t you join us?” I ask, driving toward my client’s house.

  “Sure. I can meet you. Where are you guys going?” she asks.

  “Actually, we’re eating in. Stephen’s cooking,” I tell her.

  “Really now? Sounds like something I don’t want to miss. I’ll bring the wine. Should I bring red, white, or one of each, and what time should I be at your place?” she asks.

  “Say, six o’clock? I’d say a bottle of red wine. Stephen is going to try his hand at grilling up some bacon-wrapped filet mignon. Dinner . . . is at Stephen’s house, though,” I say, stopping at a red light, then there’s nothing but silence. I quickly glance at my phone sitting on the passenger seat to see if the call got dropped. The seconds are still ticking by, but the car behind me honks his horn at me because the light has turned green. “Sorry,” I say out loud, waving my hand in the air, then I start driving again. “Kate? Are you still there?” I ask.

  “Yeah, I’m here. It’s just that I still haven’t been back to the house yet,” she says, then goes quiet again. I pull into the driveway at my client’s house, then turn off the van. “Kate?” I question, taking it off speaker phone and putting it to my ear.

  “Stephen might not want me to come over tonight?” she says.

  “Are you kidding me? He’s been dying for you to come to the house,” I tell her, and it’s the truth.