Love and Decay

by Rachel Higginson

  My family and the Mexicans and everybody that made up our huge traveling party jumped down from the beds of the trucks and started to make their way inside. I trailed behind, trying not to let my fears rule my life.

  It was one thing to feel fear in the middle of a battle, to use it to fuel my instincts and urge to survive, but it was an entirely different thing to be crippled by memories of the past.

  Arturo was dead.

  The things that happened to me in this house would never happen again.

  I wasn’t a little girl anymore.

  I was a strong, capable, kickass Zombie slayer that killed anything that got in my way.

  And yet my hands trembled and my stomach churned with unease. I felt the pressure against the back of my neck and the looming threat of death.

  I hadn’t been terrorized here in the traditional sense. But Arturo had been a master at mental and emotional torture. He had also been into experimenting.

  With Feeders.

  And humans.

  And Feeders and humans together.

  Miller slipped his hand into mine and my entire world shifted on its axis. Such a massive sense of relief washed over me that I tipped back on my heels and almost fell over.

  “Tell me what’s wrong, Page,” he demanded with a low growl.

  “Nothing,” I whispered. “Nothing’s wrong.”

  “Not true.” He stopped moving and spun me to face him. People moved around us, uncaring of our issues or conversation. There was light inside. Food. Warmth. We had a lot to talk about. I shouldn’t be holding us up because I couldn’t get over the past. Miller leaned in and insisted, “You’ve been acting weird all day. Just tell me what’s bothering you and I’ll make it better.”

  I almost smiled. “I wish it was that simple.”

  His voice dropped to a rasping whisper. “It is that simple. Trust me.”

  I shook my head and stared down at my feet. I needed new boots. Mine had been beaten to hell and back. I’d been on the lookout for a pair since Mexico City, but I hadn’t found anything yet. I hoped America would hold more options.

  But what if it didn’t?

  What if these were the last pair of boots I ever owned?

  Miller’s fingers slid under my chin and he lifted my face so he could hold my gaze once more. “Page, I’ve never seen you like this. You’re scaring me.”

  “You told me I couldn’t trust you.”

  His lips quirked in a half smile. “When have you ever listened to me before?”

  “I don’t get you, Miller. When we were in Colombia you didn’t want anything to do with me. Now you’re always by my side. What changed?”

  His eyes darkened. I shouldn’t have been able to tell because it was already dark and the torches on the front door cast shadows over his face. But I did see it happen. I watched his gaze shift and evolve and turn into something entirely different.

  Entirely… more.

  “I never wanted nothing to do with you,” he all but growled. “I never kept my distance because I wanted to.”

  “What?” A fire lit low and searing in my belly and anger burned through me faster than any pyre I’d built before. It mingled with the fear and the pain of my past, it fueled my already erratic emotions. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

  “It does,” he argued.

  “No. It doesn’t.” I glanced at the house. “Unless… did my brothers say something to you? Did they tell you to stay away from me?”

  “It wasn’t your brothers.”

  “My sisters then?”

  “Page, you wouldn’t understand.”

  “Try me.” I took a step back from him. I didn’t want to be around him right now. He was pissing me off and instinct told me to run, told me these were secrets better left hidden. But I couldn’t help it. I had to know. I had to know why he abandoned me… why he left me all alone with no one to talk to or grow up with. Sure, I had my family, but he was my friend. He was the only person in my life that just… that just… got me.

  I’d been heartbroken when he stopped spending time with me. I hadn’t understood what I did wrong or why he didn’t want to be around me anymore. I had blamed myself for years. I probably still blamed myself! And he didn’t want to give me an answer? Or explain his behavior?

  He let out an aggravated sigh and ran his hand through his tousled hair. “Page.”

  “Don’t,” I snapped. “Either give me an answer or don’t. But don’t patronize me.”

  His eyes narrowed, insulted by my words. “I’m not patronizing you.”

  I snorted a derisive sound. “You’re just as bad as my brothers when you want to be, you know that? Oh, don’t tell Page, she’s too young to know. Oh, don’t let her do the things she wants to do, she can’t think clearly… or make decisions… or know what’s best for her.”

  His hand shot up, squeezing my chin in his thumb and forefinger. “We’re here aren’t we? Looks like they listened to you after all.”

  I closed my mouth because he was right and I hated that he was right.

  His hand dropped and I took another step back. His eyes burned as hot as the blaze inside me and I realized how angry I’d made him.

  “I don’t want to argue with you,” he stated firmly. “Stop picking fights with me.”

  “Then tell me the truth! Be honest with me!”

  He didn’t hesitate. He didn’t even pause. “Never,” he growled. “I’ll never be completely honest with you.”

  My mouth dried out and my heart thumped in my chest. I should have asked a hundred different questions. I should have stormed inside and left him to watch me walk away. Instead, I whispered, “Why?”

  His gaze trapped mine, holding me captive. “Because it would terrify you.”

  Before I could answer or respond or run away, a truck sped down the driveway. We had to jump out of the way to keep from getting hit. When the engine shut off, two soldiers jumped down from the cab and sprinted into the house.

  We watched with morbid fascination as they shouted in Spanish and the house turned into a whirlwind of activity. More soldiers poured out of the house and ran for the trucks again. Diego stormed through the doors, striding with purpose and caged fury.

  “What’s going on?” I asked him when he made for the closest truck.

  “Colony spies,” he explained. “My men have spotted them near the old border.”

  “What are you going to do to them if you catch them?” Miller asked.

  “When we catch them,” Diego modified. “Then we’ll teach them the consequences of trespassing.”

  Diego put his foot on the floor of the passenger side, pausing with one eyebrow lifted. “Would you like to watch?”

  Refusing to look at or acknowledge Miller, I stepped forward. “Absolutely.”

  Diego jerked his chin toward the truck bed that I’d just left. “You’re armed?”

  “Always.”

  “Then get in, little Parker.”

  I followed orders, jumping into the back of the truck and taking a seat. Not two seconds later, Miller sat down next to me. He radiated aggression and frustration and I could tell he was biting back all manner of things to say.

  “I’m coming, too,” he declared.

  Unnecessarily.

  “I see that.”

  “Your brothers are going to kill you.”

  I rolled my eyes because… because that sentence deserved an eye roll. “I’ll just tell them you made me do it.”

  “That would be a lie,” he growled.

  I turned to him and let him see the full force of my fury. “That’s the point.”

  The truck engines roared to life and we lurched forward as we took off into the night. I faced forward again and finally used my fear and anger and all of this emotional drama for something worthwhile.

  Besides I wasn’t going to let Miller ruin this for me. This was a big night. A night I had been waiting a very long time for.

  Finally, after ten years, I was finally on
my way to fight the Colony.

  Chapter Three

  We rode forever. I didn’t know if the actual distance or if my excitement stretched each mile into eternity. By the time the caravan of trucks pulled over to the side of the road my legs bounced with barely contained energy and my fingers itched to hold my blades.

  I blamed Matthias Allen for the majority of the sins I planned to commit. But he would be nothing without willing followers to carry out his bidding.

  The Colony as a whole contributed to the poor conditions its people suffered. Matthias took away their weapons so they couldn’t defend themselves. He took away their freedom, leaving them to depend on him for food, water, supplies and protection. He took away their dignity as human beings, stripping them of privacy, honor and integrity.

  He used force and fear to cow them into perfect little subjects that thanked him for his dictatorship. And when they didn’t obey him, he made them an example so the rest of the community could witness the consequences of their behavior.

  I had witnessed his reign of terror throughout my childhood and none of the reports I’d heard since then had changed.

  He was a tyrant then.

  And he was a tyrant now.

  We followed Diego’s men out of the truck to a dirt road that wound through a hilly territory. We’d parked on a rise that overlooked the valley below. I spotted Diego’s settlement in the distance, glowing like a firefly in the darkness. Occasionally voices would carry on the wind, breaking up the stillness.

  “They think that is all I have,” Diego’s voice intruded my thoughts. He stood on the other side of Miller. “Your father thinks it will be easy to take my land.”

  “Are there more settlements?” Miller asked.

  Diego shrugged. “There is more of everything.”

  He turned around and followed his men down the winding road. Miller and I had no choice but to hurry after them.

  I wanted to ask Miller questions, I wanted to bombard him with my thoughts until he answered every single thing in my head. But I kept silent.

  I was nothing if not determined. And the silent treatment was my favorite method of torture.

  It usually worked on my chatty brothers in no time. They couldn’t stand my quiet, even if they complained about my talking the majority of the time.

  But like usual, Miller proved just how dissimilar to my brothers he was. He didn’t comment on my silence once. He didn’t even seem irritated by me. He just kept his eyes forward and his shoulders straight.

  Walking in the dark was difficult. I stumbled over rocks and divots and my own feet. I tried to split my time between watching Diego’s men and the ground, but the ground won out after a while.

  At the top of the next hill, we slowed down. Diego’s men pulled out their weapons and scanned the area with obvious vigilance.

  Miller and I followed their example, pulling dual blades from our harnesses. The night seemed quiet to me. I couldn’t hear anything out of the ordinary, but I wasn’t exactly sure what I was looking for.

  As many memories as I had, I was in unfamiliar territory. I hated that I didn’t know my surroundings or where people could be hiding. I hated that everything felt different and strange.

  The only thing I could rely on was instinct and skill.

  Good thing I had plenty of both of those.

  The soldiers crouched down quickly; Miller and I didn’t have a choice but to follow their lead. “What do you think is going on?” I whispered to him.

  He leaned forward and scanned the horizon. “There.” I followed his pointed finger and saw what had caught their attention. “It looks like an empty cage,” Miller finished.

  It was an empty cage. I could barely make out the opened door swinging in the breeze. Now that I could see it, I heard the gentle creaking noise that accompanied it.

  “It’s probably not supposed to be empty,” I noted.

  Miller nodded, “But where are they?”

  I shook my head. I had no idea. And I had no idea how many Zombies had “escaped.” I tried to ask the guy next to me, but he ignored me. When I tried again in Spanish he waved me off with his armed hand.

  I turned back to Miller. “I have no idea.”

  A minute later we had our answer. A Zombie screech pierced the quiet night as the sound ripped through the air. Tension had been tightening the oxygen in my lungs while I waited for something to happen and with the announcement of the Feeder, breath left my lungs in a gush of air.

  Miller and I stood up, ready for battle. Feeders suddenly appeared on the road on either side of us. We had the advantage of being higher, but they had appeared in the dark unnoticed.

  What if they hadn’t started screaming?

  Would they have ever made a sound as they crept up on us?

  I hated the idea that Feeders had evolved enough that they could be silent. Their guttural groans and two-toned screams were the one thing that kept us on our toes. We always knew they were coming and could track them down.

  It didn’t matter now, though. I had a battle to fight.

  I jumped into action, ignoring the aches and pains in my bones from earlier tonight when the cannibals pelted me with rocks. It wasn’t until I started moving around that I realized I was still woozy from the rock that hit me on the back of the head.

  A Feeder popped up on my right; I stopped worrying about a possible concussion and got to work. Shoes had been scarce since Bogotá, but weapons had been everywhere. We had stocked up along the way and the blades in my hands were very sharp.

  I cut through the Feeder’s arm effortlessly, leaving it without claws to scratch or grab. I couldn’t see what color its eyes were, so I had no way to tell how far advanced his infection was, but I had stabbed him through the head before it mattered.

  As soon as he dropped to my feet, I moved to the next one. This one was female, shorter but so much faster. She ducked beneath the swipe of my blade and scratched at my thigh. I felt the pressure of her claws, but her nails didn’t penetrate my practical leather.

  I swung at her again, catching her on the side of the neck. I felt my blade sink into her skin and deeply wound her, but her addiction kept her from feeling pain. Instead, she turned rabid, choking on coagulated blood dripping into her mouth. Her head lolled to the side, but she wasn’t dead yet.

  Lunging forward, I hoped to get her right between the eyes, but my worn boots slid on the gravelly ground and I missed her entirely. Something sharp hit my shoulder blade and I tripped forward.

  I could have caught myself, but I didn’t want to waste the time. Instead, I gave into the fall, rolled to my back and waited for her to fall on me with my blade raised.

  She didn’t disappoint. My aim was true as she fell face first into it.

  Thick, blackish blood spilled over me as I struggled to get her off me. She was heavier than she looked, but I was desperate to get her rotten corpse off me.

  Finally, I managed to roll away from her.

  Straight into a waiting Feeder.

  My long blade was still trapped in the woman’s face, so I had no choice but to use my smaller one. I sliced at his legs in front of me. He didn’t slow down or even notice the deep gashes I left in his decaying shin.

  He caught the back of my head with his claws and I cried out in pain. He’d managed to hit the sore spot perfectly.

  I was going to have to murder him for that.

  Afraid to try to stand up while he swatted for me from overhead, I lunged forward and caught him around the legs. My momentum knocked him off balance and he tripped backwards. He landed with a clunk while the wind was knocked from my chest. Unwilling to give him a second chance at eating me, I pushed up and forward, bringing my small knife down straight between his eyes.

  When I managed to push the knife through his forehead and finally end him, I breathed a sigh of relief. I hadn’t expected to win that one.

  I used the relatively clean side of my forearm to wipe the sweat from my brow. But it was too soon t
o relax.

  Something heavy and hungry fell against my back. I felt teeth nip at my harness and hair, trying to find skin to tear into. My head whipped back as it grabbed hold of my hair. My body remained out of reach however and it wasn’t until the creature disappeared and I was able to turn around that I realized Miller had been holding onto it.

  It now lay in a pool of its own blood where Miller ended the pathetic life.

  Miller’s hand shot out to mine and I took it without hesitation. He yanked me to my feet and we spun around until our backs were to each other’s, protecting ourselves… protecting each other.

  Keeping an alert eye out, I had my first chance to check out Diego’s soldiers in action. I was shocked to see that they weren’t fighting the Feeders or killing them. Instead, they were trying to round them up and herd them back into the cage.

  As equally bizarre, the Feeders weren’t trying to attack Diego’s men. They seemed to be happy to kill Miller or me, but they clearly feared Diego and his men.

  “I’ll never get used to this,” Miller announced, apparently taking in the same thought as me. “It’s not normal.”

  “Since when has life been normal?”

  He didn’t say anything. I hadn’t expected him to. Miller’s idea of normal was pretty scary and he had worried me enough tonight.

  “There!” I squeaked. On top of the hill I made out a human before it disappeared behind a large rock. I wouldn’t have noticed him at all, had he not dove for the cover of his hiding place.

  “What?” Miller demanded. He was facing the other direction from me so he didn’t see what I saw.

  “Colony scouts,” I answered. The truth was, I didn’t know if it had been a Colony scout or not. It could have been the cannibals for all I knew, but I wasn’t going to take a chance and let it go.

  Ignoring my aches and pains and the fresh Feeder blood coating the front of me, I took off running. I moved among Diego’s men easily, bypassing Feeders that reached out to grab me and soldiers that thought I was running away from Diego.

  I was fast. I had always been fast. And this world that I lived in maintained my need to remain fast. Plus, I was small and the men all stood far enough apart so I could easily weave through them.