The Vine

by C. A Ellis

  “Oh, poor Luke. I need to see him, Katy. I need to explain.”

  “Look, I know you’re desperate to see him, and he’ll be equally as desperate to see you, but I don’t want to be here when you have your reunion. So how about I go back now and tell him all about the new developments, and then I’ll send him over when he’s tidied himself up a bit? He looked like shit earlier.”

  “Not possible, Katy,” I say, thinking of my beautiful man not looking anything other than perfect. “I want to see him now.”

  “Lizzy, come on—be reasonable. Let me explain all what’s gone on here to him; he was kind of fucked up earlier.”

  “He’s mad at me, isn’t he?” I ask dejectedly, more as a statement than a question.

  “No, Lizzy, he’s crazy mad for you, not at you.”

  I think for a minute, trying to compose myself, whilst internally reasoning. “Okay,” I agree reluctantly. After hearing all of the emotions Luke’s been going through, I really don’t want him coming here, just in case Luca is around. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to meet him here,” I say as I write down the name of a manor hotel called The Vine Palazzo. I’d seen it on the outskirts of Verona, and I remember it because of the irony of its name. I hand it to Katy and she nods in agreement. “Tell Lucas I’ll meet him here in the bar at 6pm.”

  “Okay, cool, I’ll let him know,” Katy says as she jumps up from the bed. “Well, as much as I want to sit here and tell you all what’s been going on, and more importantly, hear what’s been going on with you, right now I ‘m shattered. So I’ll be off to tell misery the good news, and then I’m going to sleep for a week.” She looks seriously at me and puts her arms around me, “It is soooo good to have you back in our lives kid. I’ve missed you so much; don’t ever do anything like this ever again, okay?”

  I nod, “I promise.”

  “So when Lucas finally lets you out of the bedroom, how about we get together for one of our girly chat and gossip sessions over a bottle of something?” Katy asks cheekily.

  I laugh, although I try to at least look affronted at her crudeness, and with that, my best friend kisses my cheek, flicks her gorgeous hair and exits my room. I flop on the bed, exhausted, but with far too much running through my head to go to sleep. What a day, I think, and in a few hours, I’m going to see Luke. I’m excited, of course, but I’m also terrified. I didn’t think I would ever see him again. I thought he was gone. I never would have left his bedside for a minute if I thought he would make it. God, I so hope he understands that.

  As I nervously run through various scenarios of our reunion, some have good outcomes, but mostly, the outcome is definitely not what I’m hoping it will be. I decide for my own sanity to stick to past memories with Luke where we touch and hold each other, and eventually I fall into a deep slumber—if only my dreams had been as kind.

  I jump awake after a couple of hours, after a particularly bad dream. I sit up and rub my eyes before walking over to the mirror. I peer at myself and can’t believe how tired I look. Great! Not only do I have a knot of nerves in my tummy, I’ve now got puffy eyes with dark rings around them.

  I head to the shower; I should be skipping, knowing I will be seeing Luke soon, but with the negative thoughts running through my head, it’s like I’m doing the death march as I saunter over. As I wash and condition my hair, my body starts to come alive, and I end up giving myself a full-body exfoliation, and a clean shave of my legs and underarms.

  Whatever is going to happen today, I can’t prevent it, so I may as well look my best, I think as I moisturise my face and body. I pick out some beautiful, never-before-worn underwear, and I’m really starting to realise how I’ve been slowly letting myself go. I dry and finish my hair just like Stefano taught me, along with the products he’s given me.

  As I start to apply light makeup, I stop briefly mid-sweep of the makeup brush. I can’t believe in an hour or so I’m going to see Luke. I’m giddy with excitement and sick with nerves as I pick out a dark blue, strappy maxi dress to accentuate my toned, tan shoulders, and to show off my long, slim neck my new hairstyle has revealed. I think about how unbelievable it is that Luke and I were both at Jetson’s gig last night, and I wonder how he even recognised me with my new look. I’m also curious as to what he thought of my new cut. All my questions will be answered soon enough; I think as I slip on my sandals, spritz on my new Gucci perfume and grab my clutch.

  I take one last look in the mirror and I’m happier with what I see. Thank God for concealer, I think as I shake my head and smile to myself at what a difference a day can make. I take a deep breath and leave. I decide to walk out and grab a taxi, as there are always so many around at this time of day, and as I walk out of the main doors, I bump straight into Luca. Thank goodness I had the sense to ask Luke not to meet me here.

  “Hi,” I say.

  “Hey,” he says, looking a little confused, “I was just popping in to see you. I spoke to Isabella, and she said you went home with a migraine,” I nod and bite my lip at being caught out, but before I can say anything, he continues with a slightly nasty edge to his voice, “and yet here you are, looking fine and well—looking great, in fact. So obviously you’re better, and off out somewhere.”

  “Yes, I had a lay down and slept it off. It was just a headache and not a migraine after all. But I’m kind of in a hurry, Luca, so can we catch up tomorrow?” I ask, trying to sound kind and friendly; although to be honest, I’m a little annoyed with him. There’s just something about his tone I don’t like.

  “Where are you going, Ella?” Luca asks possessively. He looks angry, and that’s when I smell alcohol. Now I understand his slightly aggressive tone, and I don’t like it one bit—not what he’s saying, or how he’s saying it.

  “It’s really none of your business, Luca. We are just friends, remember? Also, I don’t care for the tone you’re taking with me either, so I’m going to go. And as I said, we’ll catch up tomorrow, and hopefully put this little altercation behind us.” As I turn to stalk away from him, he roughly grabs my arm to pull me back. I angrily go to turn to him, but I stumble as he lets go so suddenly. I stagger, but thankfully manage to stay on my feet.

  I look around fuming, and am about to tear a strip off of him, but that’s when I notice what’s being played out in front of me. It becomes obvious very quickly when I see Luca laying on the ground; he looks like he’s out cold. And then I look up to see a furious-looking Luke standing beside him, rubbing his evidently sore fist. I look to Luke open-mouthed, unsure of what just happened, as it all transpired so quickly, but also in shock that Luke—my Luke, my beautiful man—is standing there right here in front of me, looking every ounce the pure, manly perfection I remember.

  Then he speaks. “Sorry, Angel,” he says apologetically, “but he was grabbing you, and…” His voice trails off as he looks at me as if he’s only just now really seen me.

  “You’re here,” I say, wanting nothing more than to run into his arms, but I’m rooted to the spot in shock.

  “I am,” Luke says as he starts to walk over to me. With every step he takes, my heart-rate goes into overdrive; it pounds against my chest like it’s trying to escape.

  “You’re really alive,” I whisper, almost frightened this is just another dream.

  “I am,” Luke repeats as he reaches me.

  “How?” I ask, still clearly dazed. “I mean, you were so gravely ill; the doctor said with your injuries you wouldn’t make it I thought you were going to die!” And it’s at this point I break down. The guilt I feel for leaving him after the accident is so immense and it suddenly completely consumes me.

  I had thought Luke standing right in front of me would help my feelings, because I knew if he was standing there, then it would mean he’d forgiven me. But instead, the guilt feels worse and more intense than it ever has; this is the last thing I expected our reunion to ignite.

  As I sob, I choke out, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry; please, forgive me.”

/>   “Lizzy, stop.” I hear his voice. “I don’t blame you! I could have died; it was a shock to everyone I survived; even the hospital staff thought it was a miracle. I can’t have you with this unnecessary amount of guilt on your shoulders. In my eyes, there is nothing to forgive. I’m just beyond ecstatic I’ve found you. I survived that horrendous crash, and now I have found you! Two miracles in my life are more than I deserve, but by God, I’m grateful.”

  Luke rubs up and down my arms to sooth me, and his touch is incredible, but I need to get away from here; I need to get away now, so I walk slowly past him and pray to God that he’ll follow. Of course he does; I feel his hand slip to my lower back as he lightly guides me away because, as always, he knows what I’m thinking.

  For someone who always thinks she never can trust anyone, how could I not have realised—I might not have my parents anymore, but I have the next best thing in Katy and Luke, two dependable people who think the world of me, and would do anything for me.

  As we round the corner of the road, I look back to see Luca get up, stagger and rub his chin. I’m sure he will be sore tomorrow, and also probably be full of remorse for his aggression and for manhandling me. The man back there is not the Luca we all know and love, and unfortunately, he deserved everything that just happened to him, but I am sure it was just the drink talking.

  Anyway, Luca is the least of my worries; I need to concentrate on making things right between Luke and me. Luke hails a taxi, and as it pulls up, we both get in. As we enter, I grab onto his hand, and I don’t plan on letting it go anytime soon. I’m too scared to let go in case it turns out this moment isn’t real.

  We both sit there, staring ahead and saying nothing. I think after the drama of our meeting moments ago, the shock has now kicked in that we have, in fact, been reunited—something I obviously thought would never occur. And although I’m sure Luke thought he would do anything to find me, he couldn’t have been positive it would ever actually happen. I hope we can both recover from all of this; we’ve been through so much. I just hope it’s not been too much.

  I look to him for reassurance and can almost see the cogs in his brain working overtime, probably having similar thoughts to mine. He must feel me clasp tighter onto his hand, like my life suddenly depends on it, and I can feel his thumb start to gently caress my hand. It is a small gesture, but it comforts me; it’s just so amazing how safe this man makes me feel. I know he can feel me looking at him, and he turns to me, catching my gaze and holding it with his, mesmerising me and pulling me in with those gorgeous baby blues. How I have missed them; how I have missed him.

  We both sit in the back of the taxi just staring at each other, taking in every little detail and storing it to memory. As lovely and romantic as this moment is—we are both so totally wrapped up in each other—and as desperately as I need this man, there is one problem that keeps entering my brain and I just can’t shake it—what if I lose him again?

  Before I know what I’m saying, I hear myself whisper to him, “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

  “What?” Luke whispers back, clearly confused.

  “Us,” I breathe.

  Silence. Luke says nothing, so maybe he’s been wondering this too. In his silence, I continue, “If I lose you again, I will be irrevocably broken. My heart is in your hands, Luke, and it’s fragile. Or what if I hurt you again? I mean, the going got tough and I fled.”

  As I inhale to continue, Luke interrupts me; he doesn’t shout, but I can tell he’s angry. “Lizzy, you don’t have my heart in your hands,” he says, shaking his head. I look at him shocked. What does he mean? And then it hits me—he doesn’t love me as much as I love him, not anymore. Our time apart must have changed things for him; maybe now that he has me here, he realises I’m not what he wants, and whatever he says, maybe he does blame me for leaving.

  It must have been evident when my look of shock changed into a look of complete and utter despair, because I see Luke realise immediately where my thoughts are taking me, and I hear him shout, “No! No! No!” as he shakes his head frantically. “Lizzy, you don’t have my heart in your hands because you have my whole fucking world in them. Don’t you understand? You own me.”

  My mouth drops opens slightly before Luke pulls me in and holds me against him, and it feels incredible. I feel like I’ve waited for this moment for so long, but it feels even better than I ever imagined. As my face hits his chest, I am all but encompassed by him; I breathe him in, taking in his amazing scent.

  I am just wondering how I had ever lived without this, when I feel Luke move my head back away from him. My instinct is to protest, but I know any attempt would be futile. When he keeps my face in his hands and he brings his lips to mine to kiss me so deeply, it’s like his life depends on this kiss—depends on me.

  Oh my, the river of feelings and emotions running through me during our kiss is incredible. My senses are heightened, and the feeling is so intense it makes me want to cry, but I don’t. There’s no way I’m going to let my emotions ruin this moment—a moment I thought I’d never have again, and a moment I’m going to cherish forever—so I swallow the lump in my throat, and I let myself take in every second.

  I take in the feeling of my heart practically beating out of my chest. I take in the feeling of the blood pumping though my veins. I take in the goose bumps appearing on my skin one-by-one. I take in the feeling of Luke’s eyelashes lightly fluttering against my cheeks, and I can feel my breathing become laboured as our lips melt together and our tongues gently seek each other’s out, welcoming each other home. The sensations we create in union are incredible.

  I have forgotten where we are; it’s just Luke and me in this moment, and that’s all that matters. I cannot and will not ever lose him again. I slowly come back down to earth as I feel him gently pull back. As if reading my thoughts, Luke says, “I’m never going to leave you, and also, just so you know, I’m never going to let you leave me again either.” Before I can even reply I wouldn’t want to, Luke carries on, “Even in death, you’re going to have to put up with me haunting you.”

  I smile and feel myself relax—really relax—for the first time in months. I sigh contentedly, which is just proof of how relaxed and even more in love than ever I am. Before I end up straddling Luke’s lap and giving the taxi driver a show he’d never forget, I change the subject. “You were meant to meet me at The Vine,” I say.

  “I know, but I couldn’t wait any longer. When Katy came back and told me all what had gone on, I was showered and dressed in a flash, and then I was just pacing and waiting, until I couldn’t stand it any longer; I just had to see you.” I can’t help but smile, partly because of his impatience but mostly because of his sweet words. “By the way, Angel, you look shit-hot sexy with that new short hair,” he growls, and then he smiles his killer grin and I know I’m truly home. I didn’t need or want to be Ella; I was Elizabeth Maynard, just like Mum and Dad had named me, and I was Lizzy to my friends.

  When we arrive at the hotel, Luke pays the taxi driver and then asks me to wait while he walks around to open my door. He takes my hand as I swing my legs around and step out of the car. He pulls me gently up to him and places his arms protectively around my waist, holding me tightly to him, and then I wind my arms around his neck so we are locked in place, looking into each other’s eyes.

  Luke has a shy smirk on his face, like he can’t believe his luck, and mine is serious—this is it, forever. Eventually, Luke takes my hand and leads me into the hotel to the bar. We find a comfy corner to tuck ourselves into, and Luke orders us a bottle of champagne. After all, we’ve got a lot to celebrate.

  We sit, sip our drinks and talk. I would rather be sitting on his lap, wrapped in his arms and lost in a kiss, but we do have a lot to talk about. Luke tells me he doesn’t remember much about the accident, and he vaguely remembers waking up a few times when he was in and out of consciousness, but he remembers his heartbreak and concern when he knew I wasn’t there, but also how he unders
tood. I blush with embarrassment at this; I am so ashamed.

  He tells me all about his past relationship with Saskia, and how attentive she had been at the hospital, always visiting and looking after him. I don’t think he was trying to rub my nose in it, but I still felt jealous; after all, that should have been me taking care of him and nursing him back to health.

  He went on talking about his family, and how shocked they were at first that I had gone, but how now they were just as desperate as he was to find me. Luke spoke of Katy, and how she never once doubted him for wanting to look for me and committed to the search, leaving a manager in-charge of her business without a backward glance.

  I felt guilt wash over me because of what I had thought had happened between Luke and Katy; I should have known neither of them would ever hurt me like that, whether I was around or not. After watching all the emotions pass over my face—and I know he carefully reads each and every one of them; that’s how in tune with me he is—he finally says, “Lizzy, I would take the pain of a thousand car accidents over the pain of losing you. I can never let that happen again.”

  At this, I stand from my chair and go and kneel in front of him, and holding his hands on his lap, I pour out all my feelings to him. I tell him how I felt when I heard about the accident, and the despair I went through when we were told he would probably die, and how I had lost my mind when I decided to go. He winces when I speak of how I thought of ending it all, just so we could be together.

  I go on to tell him about the new, fake life I had created, and he cringes when I mention Luca, but I reassure him Luca is just a friend to me, and has never been anything more. I smile as I tell him about my work and Isabella, and then I laugh out loud as I tell him about my lovely, vivacious Stefano.

  “Life without you in it, Luke, has been nothing short of horrendous. I’ve had a taste of it, and now, by some miracle, I have you back, and I know I can never lose you again. Katy always told me I am on this earth for a reason. I was grieving so hard for Mum and Dad, and then you, so I never saw it. I always felt unworthy of my life, but now I see I really am here for a reason. I am here to be with you and to make you happy—mind, body and soul. It’s simple; I breathe to love you.”