The Shadow of the Sycamores

by Doris Davidson

  Abby’s heart sank when she found Fay’s house full of people but Nessie, with her usual perspicacity, saw that she was worried about something. ‘Janet,’ she said brightly, ‘what about us taking ourselves out for a while to let Fay and Abby have a wee blether? Are you coming with us, Willie, or would you rather go and have a news with the other old men in the square?’

  In a couple of minutes, the two younger women were on their own and Abby took the letter from her bag. ‘It’s from Kitty.’

  After reading it, Fay said, ‘You don’t have room for her, do you?’

  ‘I suppose I could make room for a wee while but not for good. And, of course, she won’t go to Father’s because of Nessie – though I’ve told her time and again in my letters that she’s a changed woman nowadays.’

  ‘I’ve never met Kitty,’ Fay said thoughtfully. ‘What sort of person is she?’

  Abby sighed. ‘I haven’t seen her myself since not long after Father married again. She was only about thirteen at the time and I don’t remember that much about her, to tell the truth.’

  ‘You don’t know why she wants to come back here?’

  ‘She hasn’t said but there must be something wrong before she’s giving up her grand job in Glasgow.’

  Just then, someone knocked at the door and Fay went to answer it.

  The well-dressed stranger looked at her for a moment. ‘Are you Fay?’

  Light suddenly dawning, Fay said, ‘Yes, and you must be Kitty? Come in.’

  ‘Ah, you are here, Abby,’ Kitty said, when they went into the kitchen. ‘Your neighbour said this was where you’d be.’

  Abby was not to be fobbed off with empty chit-chat. ‘What’s wrong, Kitty? You can’t be short of money with those lovely clothes to wear.’

  Kitty took off her close-fitting hat and touched her beautifully coifed chignon to make sure it had not come loose. ‘Yes, I have some good clothes but that’s about all I do have. I had quite a bit of savings – I was intending to come home for a little holiday … for my honeymoon, actually – but … he stole the lot and ran off.’ Her eyes clouded. ‘The night before the wedding.’

  ‘Oh, Kit, I’m so sorry,’ Abby murmured and Fay echoed the sentiment.

  ‘I can’t say I’m over it yet – but it’s not so bad as it was.’

  Her story did not take long to tell and she had since found out that it was just a repetition of what the same man had done to several women. He had promised her the earth, given her a fictitious account of his thriving business in London, ‘borrowed’ all her money to ‘finalise a big deal that would make millions’ and that was the last she had seen or heard of him.

  ‘How long ago was that?’ Abby wanted to know.

  ‘It’s three months come Friday.’ Kitty took a handkerchief from the sleeve of her cashmere jacket and wiped her eyes. ‘I had given up my job the week before, to prepare for the wedding, and I couldn’t go and ask for it back. I didn’t want them to know how gullible I’d been.’

  ‘But it wasn’t your fault,’ put in Fay. ‘You trusted him.’

  ‘More fool me.’

  Something had occurred to Abby now. ‘How have you been managing to live if you haven’t had a job for three months?’

  ‘I haven’t managed very well, to be honest. I sometimes got a relief job as a waitress or a shop assistant or a cleaner but, in between those times, I went hungry. By good luck, I’d paid a year’s rent when I moved into my wee house so I did have a roof over my head till yesterday.’

  Frowning a little, Abby asked, ‘Where did you sleep last night?’

  ‘I suppose I’d better tell you,’ Kitty sighed, ‘but you’ll just think I was mad. You see, I got to know this really nice man when I was receptionist at the hotel – a manager of a string of shops all over Scotland – and I met him yesterday in the street. Well, when he heard what had happened, he took me into a restaurant for a slap-up meal and then said I could … have a bed at his house for the one night.’

  Two separate, horrified intakes of breath made her hurry on. ‘It was freezing cold, Abby, and I’d nowhere else to go and I knew he was a decent man …’

  ‘You thought the man you were going to marry was decent,’ Abby reminded her, a touch sarcastically.

  ‘Yes, I know, but Archie really is decent. He told his wife the truth …’

  ‘He was married?’ Abby gasped. ‘What did his wife say about him taking a woman home with him?’

  ‘She was so nice, made up the bed in their spare room and gave me a lovely breakfast. And she wasn’t a bit annoyed when Archie said he would run me up here. He was going to Inverness, so it wasn’t much out of his way. When we stopped at your house, Abby, I was going to ask him in for a cup of tea but you weren’t there so he just dropped me off and went on his way.’

  ‘What a risk you took, Kitty,’ Abby said, sharply. ‘He could have killed you in that car or … or even worse.’

  Unrepentant, Kitty gave a low chuckle. ‘And what would have been worse than killing me, may I ask?’

  ‘You know! A fate worse than death, isn’t that what they say?’

  ‘Ah, yes. Well, it’s not all that bad, really. No,’ she added, ‘Archie didn’t touch me, though I wouldn’t have minded if he had, but there were a few nights … when I was absolutely desperate for something to eat and so I had to … do something to save myself from starving.’

  Neither knowing what to say to this, Abby and Fay exchanged shocked glances, then Kitty said, ‘I’m bursting for a pee, Fay. Where’s your …?’

  ‘Just outside the back door.’

  ‘Well,’ said Abby, when her sister went out, ‘what a carry on.’

  Fay pulled a face. ‘I feel kind of sorry for her. She is gullible but that isn’t a crime, is it? It’s only herself she’s hurting, silly woman.’

  ‘Who’s going to take her in, though?’

  It was Henry who made the decision, after meeting his brother-in-law in the street.

  ‘Abby got a letter from your sister Kitty,’ Pogie began, ‘and she wants to come back here for good. She doesn’t want to go to your father’s, though.’

  Henry took off his cap and scratched his head. He wished that he didn’t have to wear it because he was almost sure that it was making him lose his hair. It was much thinner than it used to be. ‘I wonder what she wants,’ he murmured,

  ‘Goodness knows.’

  With Pogie hurrying on to do whatever he had to do, Henry had peace to go over the possibilities as he carefully swept the leaves into heaps and then shovelled them into his handcart. As far as he knew, Kitty had never married, though she must be … He was twenty-six and she was at least six years older, so that would make her thirty-two – a fair age to still be a spinster. He couldn’t remember her very well for he had only been about seven when she left with their two oldest sisters but Abby said she always wrote cheery letters.

  It was easy enough to be cheery in a letter, of course, though her heart could be breaking over a love affair gone wrong. Her unheralded appearance suggested something of the sort, something that had made her leave Glasgow. There would be quite a problem if she wanted to move back to Ardbirtle for good, however. All the houses where she may have hoped to find refuge were full up – Father had Nessie and Janet, Abby had only three bedrooms and he had … an empty room now. Oh, God, came the agonising thought, would he and Fay ever get over losing their firstborn?

  But he had better get on and not waste time. There was going to be a Diamond Jubilee party on Saturday to mark the Queen’s sixty years on the throne and he had to have at least the main streets free of any kind of refuse for several important personages had been invited to attend.

  Despite knowing that Kitty had come back, he was still surprised to see her when he went home in the middle of the day. She had filled out a bit from how he remembered her – which was all to the good for she had been as skinny as a string bean when she went away – but the biggest change was in her clothing. Instead of the hand-me
-downs she’d had to wear ever since she was born, she now looked very elegant in a light navy gabardine costume, with just the suggestion of a bustle, and the pale pink frills of her blouse showing at the neck. Her hair, not quite as dark as it once had been, was pinned up into a sausage shape at the back of her head, in the style of the ladies of the nobility whose photographs sometimes graced the newspapers. She would make a good picture herself, he thought, as he went across to shake her hand.

  The pleasantries over, Fay said, brightly, ‘Kitty is home for good, Henry.’

  He could hear a note of appeal in her voice. She was making a great effort to appear normal but she really needed somebody to help her get over Andrew. Nessie and Janet had been doing their best but they could not possibly understand how much she was suffering – the feeling of utter helplessness, the anger, the craving to see her son again, the terrible heartache that ate away at her … and at him … during the nights.

  Neither of them had ever borne a child and they were too old now to give her the amount of compassion she deserved. His heart skipped a beat. Here was Fay desperate for someone nearer her own age to whom she could talk, open her innermost soul to, and there was Kitty, having clearly survived a dreadful trauma herself. They were made for each other.

  He cleared his throat, giving his wife notice that he was about to say something of vital importance. ‘We’ll be glad to have you live with us, Kitty. We have an empty bed if you don’t mind being in Andrew’s old room.’

  She shot a glance at Fay first, then said, ‘If you’re sure, I would be very grateful.’

  Fay’s lips were trembling but she held her head up. ‘Yes, you are very welcome.’

  Clearly relieved that the problem was solved, Abby left first and the two older women just a few minutes later.

  Giving Henry a chance to speak to his sister in private, Fay said she would make the bed ready.

  ‘Henry,’ Kitty murmured, ‘I was at my wit’s end, contemplating ending it all, and now you’re giving me a new chance to pull myself together. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to thank you.’

  ‘All I ask is for you to make friends with my Fairy Fay; to help her through this awful time.’

  ‘Yes, Abby told me about your little boy. I’m truly sorry, Henry, and I swear I’ll do my very best not to let her go into a decline.’ She paused and then smiled. ‘We’ll be good for each other and I can help with the housework …’

  He looked rather shamefaced now. ‘That was something I meant to speak to you about. I’m sure Fay would be glad of your help but we can’t afford to pay you anything. Maybe it would be best if you could find a wee job …’

  ‘But that’s what I meant to do! I don’t expect you to keep me for nothing.’

  And so it was settled, amicably and with no fuss.

  * * *

  On Saturday, T H, as he was known officially, had duties to perform as Town Officer. He had to meet the visiting dignitaries and escort them to their places for the banquet. He had to see that no members of the ordinary public entered this holy-of-holies. He had to organise the presentation of bouquets to the wives of the important guests. He had to make sure that each carriage was ready and waiting for its specific passengers when they wanted to leave.

  The meal over, he had to make sure that the tables were cleared quickly, that the dishwashers had everything they needed and that the band was in place on the platform for the dancing. Fortunately, for he was in no mood to take on the job, the band had provided a master of ceremonies. For the rest of the evening, all he had to do was to prevent any of the men from causing a disturbance by drinking too much and he was relieved that only two had to be shown the door.

  On their own, Kitty told Fay much more about her life in Glasgow and the other two men who had let her down, which was why she was still unmarried. Fay then gave her an account of how she had met Henry but neither touched on her most recent misfortune. At last, after a couple of hours, Fay, feeling an affinity with this sister-in-law she had known for such a short time, said, ‘You know, Kitty, I still haven’t got over … Andrew.’

  ‘I’m not surprised. I haven’t got over what George Laird did to me and that was a few months ago. I can only say it takes time but the pain does get less as time goes by.’ She regarded the other woman cautiously. ‘It maybe sounds callous but you will have other children come time – another son to …’ She broke off in confusion.

  Fay bit her bottom lip reflectively, then murmured, ‘If you mean another boy would replace Andrew, you don’t really know how I feel. Nobody could ever replace Andrew in my heart.’

  ‘No, I’m sorry. That was insensitive of me but having another child would help, I’m sure it would.’

  ‘Well, it’s out of the question, anyway. I did want more but Henry always said we couldn’t afford it.’

  ‘He might change his mind now.’

  ‘He won’t – he’ll be feeling the same as I do.’

  ‘It would be worth a try. Ask him again.’

  Fay did not ask her husband again. She wasn’t sure herself that she wanted another child. There would always be a risk that a new baby, especially a boy, would worm his way into Andrew’s special place in the cold chambers of her heart.

  As it turned out, she had no choice in the matter. Henry’s actions on the night of their son’s tragic death – when the passion of his grief changed unbidden to the desperate passion of love and need as he tried to comfort himself as much as his wife – resulted in a pregnancy that neither of them particularly wanted.

  PART THREE

  1910–1920

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Fay and Kitty Rae were sitting one Saturday afternoon, as they often did, talking of this and that – how things were much better during Victoria’s reign; how her son’s spell as Edward VII had turned people’s morals topsy-turvy; and how they hoped that the new king, George V, would be a better influence on his subjects.

  ‘He’s more serious-minded than his father, anyway,’ Kitty observed, tucking two of her four knitting needles into her mass of light brown hair until she turned the heel of the sock.

  ‘I sincerely hope so,’ muttered Fay. ‘I’ve been dreading Jerry taking an interest in girls, in case he carries on like Edward when he was Prince of Wales. It was scandalous. He even had several lady-loves while he was king.’

  ‘Jerry’s got more sense than that.’ Kitty was sure of this but even sensible boys could be led astray. Girls would be after him in a year or so – he was so handsome. Apart from his dark wavy hair and strong jawline, he was blessed with gorgeously green eyes that made even a hardened old bird like herself feel special when he looked at her.

  Fay bit off her thread with a weary sigh. ‘He hadn’t much sense while he was at school but, now he’s left, maybe he won’t knock so many holes in his breeches and I’ll have less mending to do.’

  Nevertheless, as Kitty knew, Fay doted on this son just as much as she had on the one she had lost. Possibly he hadn’t totally replaced Andrew in his mother’s affections but it seemed as if her heart had grown to make room for both her sons. Kitty’s thoughts halted until she checked the number of rows she had done – both heels had to be the same length – before letting her thoughts run on. She would have loved a son, a whole battery of sons, but, at her age, there was no chance of that. The only option open to her now would be to marry a widower who already had a young family.

  She was touching on a dream that had been intensifying of late. It wasn’t the old dream of finding a man, it was a new, delicious dream of the man for her – the man she had been attracted to since she returned to Ardbirtle. She had, naturally, stifled her feelings for Pogie Laing, had told herself that it was far too dangerous to even think of him as anything other than her brother-in-law. It was hard, though, really hard, when she saw him so often, but she had no intention of letting him know how she felt.

  Rather than hurt Abby, she had tried to banish all un-maidenly thoughts from her head and treat
Pogie as if she could barely stand the sight of him. The trouble was that he couldn’t hide the pain he felt at her snubs and she had relented as far as to treat him as a distant friend. It hadn’t helped, of course, and the only way open to her now was to go back to Glasgow or to somewhere even farther away.

  ‘You’re very quiet, Kitty.’ Fay’s gentle voice broke into her reverie.

  ‘I’m sorry – I was miles away.’

  ‘I think not – only a few hundred yards? Am I right?’

  ‘Oh, Fay, is it that obvious? I thought I’d hidden it pretty well.’

  ‘Don’t worry, my dear. I don’t think anyone else has noticed.’

  ‘Thank goodness. I don’t want … him to suspect anything.’

  ‘I’m sure he doesn’t.’

  Gathering up her knitting, Kitty shoved it carelessly into her bag and stood up. ‘Anyway, Fay, I’ve made up my mind to leave. Serving behind a counter in a poky little haberdashery isn’t enough of a challenge.’

  Her sister-in-law had the sense not to argue. ‘Were you thinking of anywhere in particular?’

  ‘Not really. I just know it’s the most sensible thing to do. I’d better give myself a quick swill now for Nessie said she’d have tea ready about five.’

  ‘Ah, yes, I forgot you’d been invited to Oak Cottage.’

  Jerry came in just minutes after Kitty had left. His face was almost cut in two by a wide grin. ‘Mother, Bill Kemp’s just asked me if I’d like a job as message boy and I jumped at it. I’ve to start tomorrow ’cos his last boy’s broke his leg and he’ll be off for months.’

  ‘But it will still be a temporary job … until the other boy comes back?’

  ‘I suppose so.’

  ‘You know, your father always hoped you would stick at your lessons and make something of yourself.’

  ‘Mother, I don’t have the brains to make anything of myself.’

  ‘If you’d worked a bit harder at school, Jerry, you could have developed your brain. You’re not stupid, I know that.’