The Shadow of the Sycamores

by Doris Davidson

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  At twenty-four, Samara Rae, generally known as Mara, was still very reserved, still shy of strangers. Nonetheless, she found it impossible to ignore the young man who had recently been sitting across the aisle from her in church. At the close of every service for the past three weeks, he had stood up when she stood up, grinning to her as she walked sedately past him behind her parents.

  She had given no acknowledgement the first week – it would have been most unladylike since he was an absolute stranger – but she couldn’t help responding to his mischievous wink the following week and now she smiled back shyly. Having previously considered going to church a necessary chore, she would now do anything rather than miss even one Sunday. She dreamt of him every night, wishing that she knew his name, wondering where he had come from, what had taken him to Ardbirtle. Yet none of these things really mattered. As long as he still looked at her with those smouldering dark eyes and gave her that wonderful smile, she would be content.

  She guessed him to be perhaps a year or two older than she was and a good six inches taller than her five feet six. His brown hair, not exactly curly, had a definite wave in it and was longer than normal, almost resting on his collar. Even knowing she would be too shy to answer if he spoke to her, she wanted to meet him properly and, as it happened, circumstances overtook her reserve. Late for her work in the solicitor’s office one rainy Tuesday morning, she ran out of the house, head down, full tilt into the man of her dreams.

  ‘Oh,’ she gasped, as his arms went round her to save her falling, ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t see you.’

  ‘Are you all right?’ His voice was soft, his eyes regarded her anxiously.

  ‘I’m fine. I shouldn’t have been in such a hurry but I’m late for work.’

  ‘Then I must not detain you any longer.’ Having said this, he still did not move. They stood facing each other, aware that the rain was drenching them yet unwilling to part. At last, the young man relinquished his hold on her arms. ‘I should have introduced myself, I am sorry. Leonard Ferguson, known as Leo, at your service, or I would have been if I had taken an umbrella with me.’ He regarded her with his eyebrows raised. ‘May I be so bold as to ask your name or is it a secret of the darkest kind?’

  His jocular manner made her lose her shyness. ‘Samara Rae, known as Mara.’

  ‘Samara? How unusual … intriguing.’

  When she told him that it originated from the winged seeds of sycamore trees, he said softly, ‘I will always think of you as Samara, then. It will remind me of how ethereally beautiful you are. You look as if a puff of wind would blow you away.’

  Even the unaccustomed flattery did not faze her. ‘I’m much more substantial than that, I’m afraid, and I shall think of you as Leo because you have been like a strong lion for me.’

  He pretended to growl and tucked her hand under his arm. ‘Will you allow me to walk you to your place of employment, Miss Samara?’ Before she could answer, he went on, ‘I am being most inconsiderate, however. Your clothes are absolutely soaking. You must go inside and change. I shall wait here for you.’

  ‘I couldn’t let you do that,’ she smiled. ‘My mother would think it very remiss of me if she knew I had left you standing in the rain.’

  Opening the house door, she led him in through the porch, chuckling at the amazement on Fay’s face when they went into the kitchen. ‘This is Leo Ferguson, Mother. He’s waiting till I change into dry clothes.’

  The young man held out his hand. ‘I am delighted to meet you, Mrs Rae.’

  His firm handshake did much to banish her fears for her daughter. ‘You are soaking wet, too but I can’t offer you a change of clothes, I’m afraid. You are much taller than my husband but he does have a spare set of oilskins here and you are welcome to that. It will save you getting any wetter.’

  ‘But Samara should have it.’

  ‘Mara has a waterproof cape she can put on. She was in too much of a hurry to look for it before she went out.’

  The girl’s first walk with Leo, therefore, was far more mundane than she had dreamt of but she was happier than she had ever been as they sloshed through the water-filled holes in the uneven pavement. Taking advantage of the empty street, he stopped at one point to kiss her and repeated it every time the chance presented itself. Both giggled at the rain running into their eyes and mouths because they were completely at one now and nothing mattered to them except each other.

  By the time they reached her office, she was almost an hour late but Mr Kelly’s sarcastic rebuke about sleepyheads made no more impression on her than had the rain. She still knew nothing about Leo apart from his name yet she had agreed to meet him the following night for she had no doubt that he was a man she could trust.

  * * *

  Anna Cairns was blissfully happy. From the small beginnings of accidental touching of hands, her meetings with Jerry Rae had graduated to deliberate hand-holding, then arms around waists, then stolen kisses when no one could see.

  The kisses themselves had become more ardent until one day she was conscious of his tongue prising her teeth open, which created such a weird, wonderful sensation inside her that she pulled back from him in confusion after a few moments.

  ‘Oh, Anna, I’m sorry,’ Jerry muttered. ‘I shouldn’t have done that. I hope you’re not angry with me?’

  ‘Of course I’m not angry,’ she breathed. ‘I … think I liked it.’

  For once in her life, she was glad that it was winter. The weather was a good excuse for them to go to their ‘love parlour’ – Jerry’s name for the gardeners’ big shed. She hardly knew how she got through each day until it was half past five and she could meet him and ‘make love’ with him, this being what he called the peculiar kissing. It was the most natural thing in the world to her these days yet he seemed worried that somebody might find out. Anyway, what did it matter if anybody did find out? They were not doing anything wrong … were they?

  What Charles had done once, some months ago now, had felt far more wrong than Jerry’s kisses. She had never been altogether comfortable with the man after he began to touch her, stroking her as if she were a favourite pet, and she had only put up with it because it seemed to give him so much pleasure. Then, that awful day when he got much rougher and invaded the private part of her body, she had tried to fight him off but it seemed that her struggles only served to give him more and more strength. She had hated feeling his hot, panting breath in her face while he pounded into her and it was so painful and disgusting that, when he finished, she had threatened to tell the Millers. He had pleaded with her to forgive him, that he couldn’t help himself, that he would never do it again.

  She couldn’t forgive him but she hadn’t told the Millers, either. She had kept on seeing him because she would miss the company and, thankfully, he hadn’t broken his promise. She had been quite glad when Tina had told her she was to be allowed to go walks with Jerry Rae. She missed the interesting conversations she’d had with Charles, however, and being able to tell him all her worries. She didn’t feel comfortable enough yet with Jerry to do that.

  * * *

  Tina was growing more and more anxious. She kept a chart of the menstrual cycles of each of the female patients under the age of fifty – mainly to be sure of having the necessary cloths ready for them but also because there had been two occasions, some time ago now, when one of the men had been responsible for the fathering of a child. In both cases, the men had protested that the women had been willing or had even instigated the mating, which made no difference really. The thing was, it had to be discovered as soon as possible so that something could be done about it.

  She had considered that Anna needed no supervision as far as that was concerned. The girl had been collecting her own cloths for ages but had always let her, as the nurse, know that her ‘show’ had come but she hadn’t mentioned it for quite a while. Tina had no idea how long it had been for she had never thought it necessary to keep a check on the youn
g girl.

  The poor nurse was torn apart with the worry of it. She had been so sure she could trust Jerry and he had let her down. Mrs Miller would likely sack her for throwing the boy and girl together. She should have known how it would end but, God’s truth, she had done it for the best. The poor girl, as sane as Mrs Miller herself, had been practically isolated in this prison of a place when she should have been mixing with others of her own age. It wouldn’t be right to put the blame on Jerry either. How could a young buck like him resist the temptation that Anna must be to him?

  Tina sighed deeply. She had to do something, though it might be best to find out if her fears were justified before doing any confessing. Noticing that it was just after ten minutes to six, she went out by the gate to the gardens and walked slowly down the path towards the big shed where the gardeners kept their tools and anything else needed for their work. If anything was going on, that was where it would be taking place.

  She was only a few feet away when the door opened and the two sixteen-year-olds squeezed through together, face to face, the boy’s lips on the girl’s. They had eyes only for each other and, ashamed to be witnessing their love, Tina moved round the side of the corrugated iron construction.

  ‘Till tomorrow, my darling.’ That was the girl.

  ‘Oh, Anna, I love you so much. I just wish …’

  ‘What d’you wish?’

  ‘I wish we could be married but … I know they won’t let us.’

  ‘Couldn’t we just … run away?’

  ‘What would we live on?’

  ‘We could both get jobs. Oh, I’m sure we could manage, Jerry.’

  ‘Where would we live?’

  ‘We’d find somewhere.’

  ‘No, Anna, my dearest, sweetest Anna. It wouldn’t work. They’d find us and I’d likely be arrested for luring you away. We’ll just have to be content with what we’ve got. At least we have half an hour together every day.’

  There was a short silence – the goodbye kiss, Tina supposed – before the footsteps went their different ways and she let the girl get slightly ahead before hurrying to catch up with her. ‘Anna.’

  ‘Oh! It’s you Tina? What a scare you gave me.’ A short pause and then, ‘How long have you been there?’

  ‘Long enough. We’ll go upstairs – I have to talk to you in private.’

  Once in the cell-like bareness of the girl’s bedroom, Tina’s heart turned over at the sight of her face – still flushed from what she had clearly been doing a few minutes earlier. She’s just an innocent, the nurse mused, a pure innocent … and so’s the boy. They wouldn’t know they’d done anything wrong. Unfortunately, it was up to her to disillusion them – to prise them apart.

  ‘Anna,’ she began, softly, ‘What were you doing in that shed with Jerry?’

  There was no hesitation, although the round cheeks took on a deeper hue. ‘We were making love.’

  ‘Do you know what can happen when you make love with a boy?’

  ‘It’s wonderful,’ Anna sighed. ‘Have you ever made love with anybody?’

  Hardening her heart, Tina said, perhaps more curtly than she meant, ‘Making love can result in making a baby, didn’t you know that?’ The perplexed face gave her all the answer she needed. ‘When was the last time you had the curse?’

  The perplexity became utter bewilderment and Tina regretted not having taught her the facts of life before letting her loose with Jerry. It had been up to her – this whole business was her fault.

  ‘Anna Cairns is with child, I am afraid, Mrs Miller.’ Shuffling his feet, Doctor Watt was clearly uneasy about imparting this knowledge.

  The Superintendent’s wife stared at him as if he had said something obscene – which he had, as far as she was concerned. ‘You must have made a mistake!’ she declared, icily. ‘How could it have happened?’

  Irked at her manner, Dr Watt snapped, ‘Surely a woman of your age must know that?’ Then, realising how serious the matter was for the Millers who were acting in loco parentis for the girl, he added, ‘It was Tina who told me to make the examination so you had better ask her. I will not abort the child if that is what springs to your mind. For one thing, the mother is as sane as I am, as you very well know, and both she and the father are in perfect health.’

  He stalked out, leaving Dolly breathing convulsively, her face livid, but, after a few minutes, she rang the bell to summon one of the maids. ‘Tell Tina I want to see her,’ she instructed the girl. ‘At once!’

  It was all the nurse’s fault. Dear God! What a scandal there would be! Anna’s father would likely sue The Sycamores for allowing such a travesty to occur. She and her husband would be thrown out of their jobs when they had done their best to look after those in their care – yes, their very best! And it had taken carelessness on the part of just one lowly nurse to knock the foundations from under them.

  Being a fair-minded woman, however, Dolly realised that perhaps it had not been Tina’s fault. Maybe Jerry was not to blame either. It could have been one of the old men in their basket chairs; always casting lustful eyes at the young maids who were bending down to pick up something from the floor. She had reprimanded Jonathan Gall, ninety last month, several times for stretching out his bony hand to touch a well-rounded bottom and, even worse, for having his hand in his pocket fondling his privates. It must be he who had … raped poor Anna.

  Tina disillusioned her on this, however. ‘It wasn’t Jonathan. Mrs Miller. It was Jerry Rae, the gardener’s boy. But he’s a good laddie and they likely didn’t know they were doing anything wrong.’ Tina ventured a quick glance at her mistress and said, hastily, ‘It wasn’t his fault or Anna’s – it was my fault. If I hadn’t thrown them together …’

  ‘Yes! It is your fault,’ Dolly spat out. ‘What on earth did you think they would do? Two youngsters ready for … they could not help themselves.’ Dolly dabbed her damp top lip. ‘I have no option, Tina. You have proved that your judgement is not to be trusted and I must ask you to pack your things and leave immediately.’

  On the verge of tears, Tina murmured, ‘Please don’t be too hard on them, Mrs Miller. They’re young and in love …’

  ‘I shall do what I have to! You are dismissed.’

  Saying not another word, the nurse turned away sadly but Dolly called, ‘Do not go anywhere near that girl before you leave. She will be confined to her room until we arrange what is to be done with her.’

  Before she went in search of her husband to pass on the dire news, it occurred to Dolly that the trauma of a pregnancy and the ordeal of the actual birth might bring on a repeat of the mental breakdown that had brought Anna to The Sycamores in the first place. It would be as well, therefore, to have Tina there to look after her. Praying that she had not left yet, Dolly headed for the staff’s quarters, trying to find a plausible apology for the way she had so peremptorily dismissed the young woman minutes before.

  Tina was making a last minute check to see that she had left nothing when Mrs Miller knocked and went in. ‘Tina, I am really sorry. It was the shock that made me lose my temper. It was not really your fault, my dear. How were you to know they would …?’

  ‘I should have known, Mrs Miller.’

  ‘Do not be so hard on yourself. You thought it would be good for Anna to get to know someone of her own age and you were not to know that the boy would take advantage of the situation.’

  ‘I don’t think he meant to take advantage,’ Tina sighed. ‘I think it was a case of … well, I don’t suppose he’d ever had any experience of girls and Anna certainly had no experience of boys, so it was a catastrophe just waiting to happen. I should have known.’

  ‘Perhaps you should but I was too hasty. It came to me, after you left me, that Anna will need help to see her through her confinement and who better than you? You have always been a friend to her and she trusts you.’ Dolly regarded the nurse hopefully. ‘I hope you will overlook my earlier remarks and take on the job? Be a … mother figure for her?’
/>
  ‘Thank you, Mrs Miller. There’s nothing I’d like better.’

  ‘That’s settled, then.’ Dolly’s pleasure at having ironed out this wrinkle faded as she went downstairs. She still had to face her husband’s anger.

  A hasty telephone call to Anna’s father’s bank in Edinburgh gave Raymond Miller their address in France and he penned a very cautious letter telling Mr Cairns of his daughter’s condition and asking for her to be removed from The Sycamores as soon as possible. It took a week for the reply to reach him.

  His fingers were unsure as he opened the envelope, and a quick scan made him thump his desk in frustration. ‘Good God! Listen to this, Dolly!’ He took a deep breath and read out what Mr Cairns had written.

  ‘As we placed our daughter in your care, trusting you to look after her properly, we set the responsibility for her fall from grace squarely on you. Since I made a contract with you, I shall let my bank continue to send the cheque every six months. I am not, however, prepared to provide for the child who, but for your laxity, would not exist at all. I would suggest that either you make her get rid of it or have the father make an honest woman of her. Failing that, make him provide for it.’

  Removing his horn-rimmed spectacles, the Superintendent looked at his wife. ‘What kind of man is he? Having lost one daughter, wouldn’t you think he would be more loving towards the only one he has left?’

  Dolly was lost for words. She had never come across such blatant callousness and what she felt was too foul to say aloud. If the man had been there, she would have … sworn at him!

  Husband and wife regarded each other helplessly until Raymond said, ‘There is only one way open to us, as far as I can see. Get one of the maids to find the gardener’s boy and bring him here. I will have to try a bit of negotiating.’