Tough Enough

by Jayne Ann Krentz

  Slowly, ever so slowly, Rachel’s face formed before his closed eyes again. Jim felt all his stress dissolve before the vision. She had such a peaceful look about her. Even out there at the accident site, she hadn’t panicked. He admired her courage under the circumstances.

  Suddenly, anger rose within him. Dammit, he wanted to see her again. How could he? If Frank knew, he’d hit the ceiling in a rage. Yet Jim refused to live his life knowing what his father’s knee-jerk reaction would be. Still, it was hell having to come back to the ranch and take a gutful of Frank’s verbal attacks. But if Jim moved to his own place in Sedona, which was what he wanted to do, who would make sure his father took his meds?

  Feeling trapped, he turned on his side. He felt the fingers of sleep encroaching on his worry and his desires. The last thing he saw as he drifted off was Rachel trying to smile gamely up at him in the E.R. when she regained consciousness. He recalled how thick and silky her hair had felt when he’d touched it. And he’d seen how his touch had affected her. In those moments, he’d felt so clean and hopeful again—two things he hadn’t felt in a long, long time. Somehow, someway, he was going to find a way to see her again. He had to.

  RACHEL ABSORBED THE WARMTH of the goose-down quilt lying over her. She was in her old bed, in the room she’d had as a child. She was back at the Donovan Ranch. Gloomy midafternoon light filtered through the flowery curtains at the window. Outside, snowflakes were falling slowly, like butterflies. The winter storm of this morning had passed on through.

  Her foot ached a little, so she struggled to sit up. On the bed stand was her homeopathic kit. Opening it, she found the Arnica and took another dose.

  “You awake?”

  Rachel heard Jessica’s hopeful voice at her door before her younger sister smiled tentatively and entered the room. Jessica’s gold hair was in two braids and the oversize, plaid flannel shirt she wore highlighted her flushed cheeks.

  “Come on in,” Rachel whispered.

  Pushing a few strands of hair off her face, Jessica sat down at the bottom of the bed and faced Rachel. “I thought you might be awake.”

  “I slept long and hard,” Rachel assured her as she placed the kit back on the bed table. She put a couple of pillows behind her and then pushed the quilt down to her waist. The flannel nightgown she wore was covering enough in the cool room. There was no central heating in the huge, main ranch house. Only the fireplace in the living room provided heat throughout the winter. Rachel didn’t mind the coolness, though.

  Jessica nodded and surveyed her. “How’s your foot?”

  “Okay. I just took another round of Arnica.”

  “What does that do for it?”

  Rachel smiled, enjoying her sister’s company. Jessica was so open, idealistic and trusting. Nothing like Kate, who distrusted everyone, always questioning their motives. “It reduces the swelling of the soft tissue. The pain will go away in about five minutes.”

  “Good.” Jessica rubbed her hands down her Levi’s. “I was just out checking on my girls—my orchids. The temperature is staying just fine out there in the greenhouse. This is the first big snow we’ve had and I was a little worried about them.”

  Rachel nodded. “Where’s Kate?”

  “Oh, she and Sam and Dan are out driving the fence line. Earlier today, she got a call from Bo Cunningham who said that some of our cattle were on their property—again.”

  Groaning, Rachel said, “Life doesn’t change at all, does it, Jess?”

  Giggling, Jessica shook her head. “No, it doesn’t seem to, does it? Don’t you feel like you’re a teenager again? We had the same problems with the Cunninghams then as we do now.” She sighed and opened her hands. “I wish they wouldn’t be so nasty toward us. Frank Cunningham hates us.”

  “He hates everything,” Rachel murmured.

  “So how did Jim turn out to be so nice?”

  “I don’t know.” Rachel picked absently at the bedcover. “He is nice, Jess. You should have seen him out there with me, at the accident. I was in bad shape. He was so gentle and soothing. I had such faith in him. I knew I’d be okay.”

  “He’s been home almost a year now, and he’s trying to mend a lot of fences.”

  “Are you saying he was nice to me because of the feud between our families?”

  Jessica shook her head. “No, Jim is a nice guy. Somehow, he didn’t get Frank’s nasty genes like the other two boys did.” She laughed. “I think he has his mother’s, instead.”

  Rachel smiled. “I know one thing. I owe Jim my life.”

  “You owe him more than that,” Jessica said primly as she tucked her hands in her lap. “Did he tell you he gave a pint of his blood to you?”

  “What?” Rachel’s eyes grew wide.

  “Yeah, the blood transfusion. You lost a lot from the cut across your foot,” she said, pointing to Rachel’s foot beneath the cover. “I found out about it from the head nurse in E.R. when we came in to see how you were. Jim had called us from hospital and told us what had happened. Well,” she murmured, “he was selective in what he told us. He really downplayed his part in saving you. He’s so humble that way, you know? Anyway, I was asking the nurse what all had been done for you, because we don’t have medical insurance and I knew Kate would be worrying about the bill. I figured I’d do some investigating for her and get the info so she wouldn’t have to do it later.” Clasping her hands together, she continued, “You have a rare type of blood. They didn’t have any on hand at the hospital, nor did they have any in Cottonwood. So I guess Jim volunteered his on the spot. He has the same blood type as you do.” She smiled gently. “Wasn’t that sweet of him? I mean, talk about a symbolic thing happening between our two families.”

  Rachel sat there, digesting her sister’s explanation. Jim’s blood was circulating in her body. It felt right. And good. “I—see… ?.” Moistening her lips, she searched Jessica’s small, open face. She loved her fiercely for her compassion and understanding. “How do you feel about that?”

  “Oh, I think it’s wonderful!”

  “And Kate?” Tension nagged at Rachel’s stomach over the thought of her older sister’s reaction. Kate held grudges like their father did.

  Jessica gazed up at the ceiling and then at her. “Well, you know Kate. She wasn’t exactly happy about it, but like she said, you’re alive and that’s what counts.”

  “I’m glad she took the high road on this,” Rachel murmured, chuckling.

  Jessica nodded. “We owe Jim so much. Kate knows that and so do I. I think he’s wonderful. He’s trying so hard to patch things up between the two families.”

  “That’s a tall order,” Rachel said. She reached for the water pitcher on the bed stand. Pouring herself a glassful, she sipped it.

  “I have faith in him,” Jessica said simply. “His integrity, his morals and values are like sunshine compared to the darkness of the Cunningham ranch in general. I believe he can change his father and two brothers.”

  “You’re being overidealistic,” Rachel cautioned.

  “Maybe,” she said. Reaching out, she ran her hand along Rachel’s blanketed shin. “We’re all wondering what made you skid off 89A. You know that road like the back of your hand. And you’re used to driving in snow and ice.”

  Setting the glass on the bed table, Rachel frowned. “You’re probably going to think I’m crazy.”

  Laughing, Jessica sat up. “Me? The metaphysical brat of the three of us? Nooo, I don’t think so, Rachel.” Leaning forward, her eyes animated, she whispered, “So tell me what happened!”

  Groaning, Rachel muttered, “I saw a jaguar standing in the middle of 89A as I rounded that last hairpin curve.”

  Jessica’s eyes widened enormously. “A jaguar? You saw a jaguar?”

  Rachel grimaced. “I told you you’d think I was crazy.”

  Leaping up from the bed, her sister whispered, “Oh, gosh! This is really important, Rachel.” Typical of Jessica, when she got excited she had to move around. She quic
kly rounded the bed, her hands flying in the air. “It was a jaguar? You’re positive?”

  “I know what I saw,” Rachel said a bit defensively. “I know I was tired and I had jet lag, but I’ve never hallucinated in my life. No, it was a jaguar. Not a cougar, because I’ve seen the cougars that live all around us up here. It was a jaguar, with a black-and-gold coat and had huge yellow eyes. It was looking right at me. I was never so startled, Jess. I slammed on the brakes. I know I shouldn’t have—but I did. If I hadn’t, I’d have hit that cat.”

  “Oh, gosh, this is wonderful!” Jessica cried. She clapped her hands together, coming to a sudden halt at the end of Rachel’s bed.

  “Really? What’s so wonderful about it? If this story ever gets out, I’ll be the laughingstock of Sedona. There’re no jaguars in Arizona.”

  Excitedly, Jessica whispered, “My friend Moyra, who is from Peru, lived near me for two years up in Canada. She helped me get my flower essence business going and tended my orchid girls with me. What a mysterious woman she was! She was very metaphysical, very spiritual. Over the two years I knew her, she told me that she was a member of a very ancient order called the Jaguar Clan. She told me that she took her training in the jungles of Peru with some very, very old teachers who possessed jaguar medicine.”

  Rachel opened her mouth to reply, but Jessica gripped her hand, her words tumbling out in a torrent. “No, no, just listen to me, okay? Don’t interrupt. Moyra told me that members of the Jaguar Clan came from around the world. They didn’t have to be born in South America to belong. I guess it has something to do with one’s genes. Anyway, I saw some very strange things with Moyra over the two years she was with me.”

  “Strange?”

  “Well,” she said, “Moyra could read minds. She could also use mental telepathy. There were so many times I’d start to ask her a question and she’d answer before I got it out of my mouth! Or …” Jessica paused, her expression less animated “… when Carl, my ex-husband, was stalking me and trying to find out where I was hiding, Moyra told me that she’d guard me and make sure he never got to me. I remember four different times when she warned me he was close and protected me from being found by him.”

  “You mean,” Rachel murmured, “she sensed his presence?”

  “Something like that, but it was more, much more. She had these heightened senses. And—” Jessica held her gaze “—I saw her do it one day.”

  “Do what?”

  Jessica sighed and held up her right hand. “I swear I’m telling you the truth on this, Rachel. I was taking a walk in the woods, like I always did in the afternoon when I was done watering my girls in the greenhouse. It was a warm summer day and I wanted to go stick my feet in the creek about half a mile from where we lived. As I approached the creek, I froze. You won’t believe this, but one minute I saw Moyra standing in the middle of the creek and in the next I saw a jaguar! Well, I just stood there in shock, my mouth dropping open. Then suddenly the jaguar turned back into Moyra. She turned around and looked right at me. I blinked. Gosh, I thought I was going crazy or something. I thought I was seeing things.”

  Jessica patted her sister’s hand and released it. “There were two other times that I saw Moyra change into a jaguar. I don’t think she meant for me to see it—it just happened.”

  “A woman who turns into a jaguar?” Rachel demanded.

  “I know, I know,” Jessica said. “It sounds crazy, but listen to this!” She sat down on the edge of the bed and faced Rachel. “I got up enough courage to ask Moyra about what I’d seen. She didn’t say much, but she said that because she was a member of this clan, her spirit guide was a male jaguar. Every clan member has one. And that this spirit guide is her teacher, her protector, and she could send it out to help others or protect others if necessary.” Excitedly, Jessica whispered, “Rachel, the last thing Moyra told me before I drove down here to live was that if I ever needed help, she would be there!”

  Stymied, Rachel said, “That jaguar I saw was Moyra—or Moyra’s spirit guardian?” Rachel had no trouble believing in spirit guardians, because Odula, their mother, had taught them from a very early age that all people had such guides from the invisible realms. They were protectors, teachers and helpers if the person allowed them to be.

  “It must have been one or the other!” Jessica exclaimed in awe.

  “Because,” Kate Donovan said, walking through the door and taking off her damp wool coat, “about half a mile down 89A from where you crashed, there was a fuel-oil tanker that collided with a pickup truck.” She halted and smiled down at Jessica, placing her coat on a chair. “What you don’t know, Rachel, is that five minutes after you spun out on that corner, that pickup truck slid into that tanker carrying fuel oil. There was an explosion, and everyone died.”

  Stunned, Rachel looked at Jessica. “And if I hadn’t spun out on that corner …”

  Kate brought the chair over and sat down near her bed. “Yep, you would have been killed in that explosion, too.”

  “My God,” Rachel whispered. She frowned.

  Jessica gave them both a wide-eyed look. “Then that jaguar showing up saved your life. It really did!”

  Kate combed her fingers through her long, dark hair, which was mussed from wearing a cowboy hat all day. “I heard you two talking as I came down the hall. So you think it was your friend’s jaguar that showed up?”

  Jessica nodded. “I have no question about it. Even now, about once a month, I have this dream that’s not a dream about Moyra. She comes and visits me. We talk over what’s happening in our lives. Stuff like that. She’s down at a place called the Village of the Clouds, and she said she’s in training. She didn’t say for what. She’s very mysterious about that.”

  “So, your friend comes in the dream state and visits with you?” Rachel asked. Odula had placed great weight and importance on dreaming, especially lucid dreaming, which was a technique embraced wholeheartedly by the Eastern Cherokee people.

  “Yes,” Jessica said in awe. “Wow … isn’t that something?” She looked up at Kate. “How did you find this out?”

  “At the E.R. desk as I was signing Rachel out. Once they had you extricated from your rental car,” Kate told Rachel, “Jim’s ambulance had to drive up to Flagstaff to get you E.R. care because of that mess down on 89A. There was no way they could get through to the Cottonwood Hospital. There were fire trucks all over the place putting out the fire from that wreck.”

  Rachel studied her two sisters. Kate looked drawn and tired in her pink flannel shirt, Levi’s and cowboy boots. She worked herself to the bone for this ranch. “Once upon a time, jaguars lived in the Southwest,” Rachel told them.

  “Yeah,” Kate muttered, “until the good ol’ white man killed them all off. I hear, though, they’re coming back. There’re jaguars living just over the border in Mexico. It wouldn’t surprise me if they’ve already reached here.” She rubbed her face. “And this Rim country where we live is ideal habitat for them.” She smiled a little. “Maybe what you saw wasn’t from the spirit world, after all. Maybe it was a live one. The first jaguar back in the States?”

  “Oh,” Jessica said with a sigh, “that would be neat, too!”

  They all laughed. Rachel reached out and gripped Kate’s work-worn hand. “It’s so good to be home. It feels like old times, doesn’t it? The three of us in one or the other’s bedroom, chatting and laughing?”

  “Yeah,” Kate whispered, suddenly emotional as she gripped Rachel’s hand. “It’s nice to have you both here. Welcome home, sis.”

  Home. The word sent a tide of undeniable warmth through Rachel. She saw tears in Jessica’s eyes and felt them in her own.

  “If it wasn’t for Jim Cunningham,” Rachel quavered, “I wouldn’t be here at all. We owe him a lot.”

  Kate nodded grimly. “Yes, we do.”

  “Tomorrow I want to see him and thank him personally,” Rachel told them. “Jessica, can you find out if he’s going to be at the fire department in Sedona?”


  “Sure, no problem.” She eased off the bed and wiped the tears from her eyes. “He’s the sweetest guy.”

  Kate snorted. “He’s a Cunningham. What’s the old saying? A tiger can’t change his stripes?”

  Rachel grinned at her older sister’s sour reaction. “Who knows, Kate? Jim may not be a tiger at all. He may be a jaguar in disguise.”

  “You know his nickname and his Apache name are both Cougar,” Jessica said excitedly.

  “Close enough for me,” Rachel said with a smile.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  “HEY, Cunningham, you got a visitor!”

  Jim lifted his head as his name was shouted through the cavernous area where the fire trucks and ambulance sat waiting for another call. The bay doors were open and bright winter sunlight poured inside the ambulance where Jim sat, repacking some of the shelves with necessary items.

  Who could it be? Probably one of his brothers wanting to borrow some money from him as usual. With a grunt he eased out of the ambulance and swung around the corner.

  His eyes widened and he came to an abrupt halt. Rachel Donovan! Swallowing his surprise, he stood watching as she slowly walked toward him. Noontime sunlight cascaded down, burnishing her long dark hair with hints of red and gold. She wore conservative, light gray woolen slacks and a camel-colored overcoat.

  Struck by her beauty, her quiet presence as she met and held his gaze, he watched her lips lift into a smile. Heat sheeted through him as he stood there. Like a greedy beggar, he absorbed her warm gaze. Her green eyes sparkled with such life that he felt his breath momentarily hitch. This wasn’t the woman he’d met at the car accident. Not in the least. Amazed that she seemed perfectly fine three days after nearly losing her life, Jim managed a shy grin of welcome.