Adam, Enough Said (This Can't be Happening)

by LeeAnne, Lynda

  “You’re not working full-time, Mia. When my dad died, he left me a little bit of money. It’ll help if I need to use it.”

  “Oh. Are you sure? I don’t need this house, Adam. I don’t mind the apartment.”

  “I want to do this for you, Baby…for us,” he said softly and then he rested his hand on my stomach carefully. I placed my hands over his.

  “I love you, Adam. If it makes you happy, I’ll sign.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Six Weeks Later

  The Demise - Day 1

  Adam Bryant

  I already knew what this meeting was about, and it pissed me off that they were asking me again.

  “Adam, I know you don't want to, but you should consider it. You'll move up faster in the department. It's who you know, not what you know. I guarantee you, Mia will never find out. This case should only last a week, tops. Our informant will only talk to you, and all we need is a location,” my first year Lieutenant pleaded, but all I could think about was how badly I’d fucked up last night to get me in the situation.

  I never should have gone, but after putting them off for so long, I'd finally decided to go out for a beer with some of the guys after work. The night had started out fine until everyone decided to hit up a strip club named Hunnies. I only went for forty minutes, to show face, but it'd been forty minutes too long.

  The fucked up part…I hadn’t called Mia to let her know. I figured with the bullshit way I’d been acting lately, the last thing she needed was the added stress of wondering what I was doing at Hunnies.

  And shockingly, it was my first time at a strip club, but after walking in, I’d planned for it to be my last. Don’t get me wrong, a couple of the chicks were hot and some of them could dance their asses off, but about eighty percent of them were covered in stretch marks which, coincidentally, only had my mind stuck on my woman.

  My wife.

  My pregnant wife.

  Not that she had stretch marks yet, but she’d probably get them – a thought that actually excited me. To think about Mia’s belly growing, my baby growing inside her…all I’d wanted to do was get home to her, and ironically, a night out with the boys had turned into a wake-up call.

  The dancers had been all over us, and one in particular wouldn’t get off my jock. For some reason, my boss egged her on and paid for her to give me two lap dances, regardless of how many glares I’d shot in his direction. It wouldn’t be until earlier this afternoon that I’d found out why.

  “I’m not sure how whoring around for the police department will move me up the fuckin’ ladder,” I finally replied and I couldn’t keep the disgust out of my voice.

  “You won’t be whoring around. You won’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, but the fact remains, she’s decided she’ll only deal with you. You already have an in. I wouldn’t have offered you the job if I didn’t think you could do it. You go in a few nights, we wire you, you talk, you get the location or a name and you get out. It’s rookie investigative work, and if that’s what you want to get into in the department, this is a good start. You do this, and after you take your test for Sergeant, I’ll put in a good word…hell, I put in a good word before your test since you have a long way to go.”

  Fuck!

  What he was saying was true. I knew this would help me get my foot in the door faster, but going out two or three nights this week was going to put even more tension on my already strained marriage. My brand new marriage. I hadn’t even taken Mia on a honeymoon. I needed to do that, and I needed to start fixing the trust that I know I’ve broken between us.

  But, this was also a way to move up, to make more money, to secure our future without having to touch my father’s dirty money. I wouldn’t have to live with that regret. And I’d be able to give Mia some of the things she never had growing up.

  I wanted that for our baby too.

  “I’ll do it,” I decided and when the Lieutenant nodded, I continued. “But I won’t touch her and she’s not touching me. She does, this is over.”

  He nodded again. “It’ll work out fine. We’ll start tomorrow night.”

  “Fine,” I finished, stood and walked out the door, wondering if I'd just made the worst decision of my life.

  It took me twenty minutes to get home, and when I walked in, the house was silent, and the only light came from a small table lamp in the living room. I noted right away that it was fuller, filled with more furniture and decorations, which helped me relax. Slowly but surely, the house was coming together; though, I didn’t give a shit what Mia and my mom did with the place as long as Mia was happy with it.

  I glanced at the clock: midnight. She’d still be awake and I couldn't wait to see her. I had to touch her, I had to feel her and know she was still with me...still mine. I climbed the stairs and headed toward the master bedroom. The TV was on, but it was muted and Mia was curled up on her side with her back toward me and she looked asleep, which was completely out of the norm at this time.

  Pregnancy, maybe?

  I took off my uniform, threw it on the floor, and walked around the bed to kneel at Mia's side. Her hands were tucked under her pillow and her knees were bent to her waist, curled into a ball. She looked so small, so fragile in this position that my heart lurched.

  I studied her and memorized every unique feature...her thick, wavy red hair, her freckles, her small, straight nose, her full, pink lips, her high cheekbones, her long, naturally curled eyelashes, her soft, creamy skin, her perfectly arched brows, and her peaceful face.

  But something on the pillow caught my attention and my eyes shifted. I touched my fingers to the spot, careful not to disturb her, and it was wet...right under her cheek. My stomach plummeted. She'd been crying and I knew it was because of me. She needed me and I wasn't here for her. She was my wife, pregnant with my baby, and I'd been distancing myself from her when she fuckin' needed me.

  I'd been so stupid in thinking I had to give her all the things she's never had growing up in order to keep her and make her happy, when all she ever wanted was me. She'd grown up with nothing, asked for nothing, and wanted nothing. However, that was exactly part of my problem. She was so selfless and self-sacrificing, that I wanted her to have everything and I wanted to be the one to give it to her. But in my own selfish crusade to keep her, I'd only been hurting her, and myself, in the process.

  Here my pride had kept me from using the money my asshole father left me, but how ironic was it that I felt I needed a lot of it to keep Mia happy?

  Jesus, I'm an idiot.

  And on top of all that, Mia was having my baby. She was going to be a mommy and I was going to be a daddy...hopefully to a redheaded, freckle-faced little girl who looked just like Mia. I was scared to death about it too...I don't think I'd ever been more scared of anything in my life. I’d been worried that I'd be as shitty a father as my own, but then I’d gone and bought a monstrous house with the intention of keeping Mia knocked up and filling it with more babies.

  I groaned silently. I should be shot. My mind was finally seeing clearly and I was relieved. It was as if I'd been looking through a kaleidoscope from the moment Mia told me she was pregnant. Man, when I fucked up, I did it royally.

  Somehow, I had to make things right and I'd do it fast.

  I wasn't letting her leave me.

  The Demise - Day 2

  Mia Bryant

  I stood there frozen until what I was looking at finally sank in. Then I started shaking, body wracking tremors. The pain in my chest was unbearable and the baby in my stomach was making me sick.

  I quickly thought back to last night, when I'd awakened to Adam's chest pressing against my back and his arm wrapping around my body, hugging me like he never wanted to let me go. He'd tucked his face in my hair, took a deep breath, sighed and kissed my shoulder. His fingers had traced patterns on my stomach.

  I hadn't moved. I think I'd even stopped breathing.

  Since moving into this house, Adam's been so close, yet a
million miles away.

  "My wife," he'd mumbled against my ear, oddly sounding comforted by the word. "I'm so sorry, Baby. I promise I'll fix us," he'd finished and I'd stayed up at least another hour contemplating what he meant by that.

  But now I knew.

  It'd been words spoken out of guilt.

  He was guilty.

  My hands were trembling now. I'd just been about to put a load of laundry in the washing machine when I spotted the smear of red lipstick on the crotch of the jeans Adam wore two night ago...when he supposedly went out with the boys from work.

  Heat filled my cheeks and tears pricked my eyes at what this meant. Could there be some other explanation than him cheating? Why would he even look for ass somewhere else? Not that he actually had to look far. Badge bunnies were easy to come by, but I'd never given him a reason to find sex somewhere else. I’d never denied him. Even with his distance, we had sex nearly every single day. Probably even more so since he found out I was pregnant, as odd as that may seem.

  I threw the jeans on the floor, as hard as I could, and they landed with a thud at my feet.

  I was home pregnant with his baby while he was out fucking around on me!

  UGH!

  I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to strangle him, but more than anything, I wanted to see it with my own eyes. I had to see it. I had to know for certain. I had very little doubt that he wasn't cheating; it only made sense with all the "extra jobs" he's been taking, but I did have hope, and I owed it to myself...to my baby...to never give up unless I was absolutely positive.

  And God, I hoped I was wrong.

  The Demise – Day 6

  Mia Bryant

  It was almost ten o’clock at night and Adam looked miserable as he walked into the living room and straight toward me.

  “I gotta go, Mia.” He cupped my cheek with his hand and bent to kiss me, but I jerked my head back.

  "Freckles, you gonna tell me what the fuck is goin' on?" He looked down at me sitting on the sofa with narrowed eyes, a scowl and a muscle ticking in his jaw. The sight of him made me want to cry again, but I couldn't give anything away. I'd never been much of a crier anyway, and I didn't know if it was that I’d just surpassed my first trimester, but I was feeling less…hormonal.

  Now, all I felt was rage, because three days out of the last six, Adam had to work his “extra job” - an extra job that had him coming home and showering straight away. Probably to wash off whatever bitch he’d just been with. He’d pull his ring from his jean pocket - when he should still be in uniform - when he thought I wasn’t looking. I hadn’t seen any more lipstick stains, but they weren’t necessary. He acted plenty guilty enough by suddenly being excessively interested in me and my baby... that’s right… my baby. Fuck Adam.

  He kept apologizing for distancing himself from me in the very beginning, apologizing for not giving me a big wedding or taking me on a honeymoon. He kept begging me to never leave him and telling me he was going to make things right between us again, but then he’d leave for his “extra job”.

  And I was going to let him live with his “extra job” for the rest of his miserable fucking life.

  I was leaving Adam.

  I’d just been waiting for the right time. I had to see him cheating with my own eyes, because I had to know, deep in my soul, that I was doing the right thing. And tonight was the night.

  "What do you mean?" I asked nonchalantly, disregarding his frustration, because he was an asshole and didn’t deserve an explanation.

  "Mia," he warned. "You know exactly what I mean... you hardly say ten words to me in a day, you flinch every time I touch you... I just tried to kiss you, you wouldn’t let me… and why the fuck is Eric here dressed like a goddamn ninja? All black doesn't suit him," he snapped, throwing a glare in Eric's direction. And he was right of course. All black didn't suit Eric. With his white-blond hair, pale skin, big blue eyes and leaner build, he sort of looked more like a celebrity stalker than a ninja, but I supposed it was a perfect fit for the night.

  “Shut up, asshole,” Eric barked and stood. “I don’t know how she puts up with your shit. She doesn’t deserve it and you sure as hell don’t deserve her…. Mia, I’ll be in the kitchen.”

  Oh my God!

  “What the hell has gotten into everybody around here?” Adam asked the room, still staring after Eric’s retreating back.

  I shrugged.

  “Well?” he asked, finally looking at me again.

  “Well what?”

  “Why won’t you kiss me?” he demanded to know and I had to think fast.

  I touched my lips. "I think I feel a cold sore coming on,” I muttered against my fingers and he stared at me like I just landed from outer space.

  "Are you fuckin' shitting me?" he asked, irritated.

  I shook my head. "No, I'm not shitting you. I think it's going to be a bad one. I'd really hate for you to get it too, you know, it's something a concerned, pregnant wife should care about... giving her husband a fucking infection!" I couldn’t contain my wrath any longer.

  I heard his teeth grinding and he looked away. He swiped a hand over his head and down his face, before looking at me again. Then he grabbed my hand and pulled me off the couch. I glared, tugged on my hand and he dropped it, but only to wrap his arms around my waist.

  “You’re mad at me,” he stated softly, but it wasn’t a question.

  Still, I answered, “Killing.”

  He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, before opening them. His bright green eyes bore into mine. “I’m trying to make things right between us, but you’re making it hard for me, Freckles. I can’t read your mind and you won’t talk to me.”

  “Trust me, you don’t want me to.”

  He sighed. “Is it the baby? Are you not feeling good? Are you tired --”

  His care was sweet, but it was painful and it was too late. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?” I cut him off.

  “Are you leaving me?” he asked in a tortured whisper, and I slammed my eyes shut. The fear in his voice was excruciating, but what hurt the most was that I couldn’t answer him, and I was pretty sure he already knew the answer.

  His arm around me constricted painfully tight. He dropped his forehead to my shoulder and I heard him breathe me in. I hugged him back and buried my face against his neck because I couldn’t resist. I loved him with everything in me… I always would and nothing would change that.

  “Don’t leave me,” he pleaded. “You’re my heart, Baby, and I need you to survive. I know I screwed things up between us, but I’m trying to fix it… I’m dying to fix it, but you’re not letting me.” He lifted off my shoulder and framed my face with his hands. Tears filled my eyes at the sincerity in his. “I hate this job, Mia. If I hadn’t already agreed to work tonight I would stay with you so we can work this out… but after tonight, I promise, Baby, no more. Just give me tonight. Promise me you’ll be here when I come home.”

  I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t make a promise I wasn’t sure I could keep. I wanted so desperately to be wrong. There was a small piece of me that refused to believe he would cheat, but the signs were all there and I couldn’t ignore them. I had too much pride.

  But I knew Adam wouldn’t let me go if I didn’t agree, so I did the only thing I could do… I nodded.

  Two Hours Later

  Mia Bryant

  “Kenny, are you sure he’s still inside?” Eric asked as I turned into the parking lot of a strip club named Hunnies. The name made me throw up a little in my mouth, as did the neon sign that hung over the front of the building; a bottle of - wait for it - honey dripping onto a something pink that looked a lot like the tip of a tongue surrounded by pink lips.

  My hands were shaking. My face was on fire. My blood was boiling. My heart was pounding and I felt nauseous. This night was going to end badly. I knew it the second I parked, turned off the truck, and lightening flashed across the sky.

  “Kenny said Adam’s been in there over an
hour and hasn’t come out yet,” Eric said, the sound of flipping his cell shut at my side brought me to attention and I faced him.

  God, I loved Eric and Kenny. Eric and I had tried to follow Adam the last night he worked late, but we hadn’t really thought it through. Adam had called my cell five minutes into our pursuit wondering where Eric and I were going and why we were out on the streets so late. Adam had spotted us and our plan had been foiled.

  Bastard…

  So I’d quickly gone back to the drawing board and came up with Plan B. Kenny would wait down the street from our house in his car and follow Adam to his final destination where Eric and I would then swoop in.

  And it worked.

  And now we’re at a fucking strip club.

  “Mia, baby love, you don’t have to go in. I can go in and tell you what I see. Maybe even take a picture with my phone as evidence?” Eric offered, but I shook my head.

  “Thank you, Eric, but no. I have to see for myself. I won’t be able to live with doubts.” I sighed and opened the door. “Let’s just get this over with,” I finished and jumped out of the truck.

  As we walked to the front door, I looked down at myself feeling absolutely ridiculous in the clothes Eric had bought for me. I was pregnant, wearing a skintight black leather miniskirt, a flesh hugging black, low cut tank and black thigh high, high heeled boots.

  I looked half stripper, half biker chick, but I figured I had to fit in and couldn’t very well wear jeans and flip flops.

  Luckily, Eric knew my every size and thankfully, even at four months, I wasn’t showing yet.

  My makeup was caked on to hide my freckles and I had my hair teased and pulled into a ponytail near the crown of my head with little fly-aways hugging my face… that way Adam wouldn’t see red coming from a mile away. If the lighting was dark enough inside - which I suspected it would be - my hair would look light brown.