“I’m just not going there, Trevor. This is just something you are going to have to deal with, or else.”
“Or else, what?” Trevor’s eyes held fast with a menacing glare.
“Or else…” I hesitantly fumbled for the words, but I’d had enough of his possessiveness and the constant arguing. Gaining my composure, I shouted with brazen fury, “Or else, it’s over. We’re over. I’m done!”
“Oh yeah?” he hissed as he came at me with fire in his eyes. Grabbing me by my throat and shoving me backwards, his tense arms held me tight against the wall of my bedroom. Shallow breaths fought against the choking sensation in my throat. My hands desperately clawed at his fingers that were wrapped tightly around my neck, struggling to break them free. His words seared themselves into my memory. “If I can’t have you, then no one else can either! I’ve got a 9mm pistol with a magazine full of bullets. I’ll give you one guess as to what I’ll do with them.”
“Please,” I gasped, panicking under his suffocating grip.
He spat more words into my ear before he finally loosened his grip. “And if you even dare to breathe a word about this conversation to anyone, I’ll hunt you down. Don’t worry, sweetheart, trouble will find you.”
I felt sure it was just a threat. He would never actually do it, right? I was too terrified to tell anyone. That night I slept with my closet light on and double checked all the locked doors. Nightmares of dark shadows and gunshots plagued my dreams all night. I woke up sweaty and out of breath several times, crying into my pillow until exhaustion overcame me. I never threatened to break up with him again, nor did I ever find the courage to tell anyone.
Our senior year was no different than our junior year. I was still a frog sitting in extremely hot water, but for whatever reason I couldn’t will myself to jump out of the pot.
“So, I guess I’ll take you home after practice today.” It was more of a statement than a question. Trevor had a presence about him that kept most people from questioning him.
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll meet you at my locker after school.” Trevor had picked me up earlier that morning to take me to breakfast before school started. It was a nice gesture, but I wondered if it was more for him to keep tabs on me than for anything else.
“See you later,” he blew me a kiss as he walked into his class.
My last class came and went in the blink of an eye. I was so ready for the day to be over.
Arnold stood by my locker as I took out the books I would need for homework that night. “So, have you finished the science project for the county science exhibit yet?”
“Nah, but I’m working on it,” I told him.
Arnold was in several of my classes. Always friendly, a bit overweight, and unbelievably intelligent, he held the title of Valedictorian of our senior class. He and I had worked on a few projects together in the past.
“Just let me know if you need any help with it,” he offered as he picked up the pencils I had accidently dropped on the floor while getting out my books.
“Thanks,” I said.
“See you later!” He waved as he walked down the hall toward the library.
Out of nowhere, a fist punched into the locker beside me. Startled, I flinched causing me to bump my head on my open locker door. “What the hell were you talking to that guy for?” Trevor’s eyes burned with anger.
“That was just Arnold,” I said, stunned. “He was asking about our science project.”
“I don’t care what he was asking you. You better not be talking to him again,” Trevor barked at me. Trevor’s anger always made me uneasy. Attempting to calm him down only made him even more furious.
“Okay.” I chided myself for backing down so easily.
Trevor grabbed me by the arm and tightened his grip. Blood pulsed in the veins of my hand. He glared at me, his face inches from mine. “It better not happen again,” he practically growled.
Storming away, he slammed the door on his way outside to football practice. I stood there, rubbing the tender spot on my head caused by my open locker door.
Tears sprang to my eyes as I finished getting my stuff from my locker. I caught a glimpse of Amanda out of the corner of my eye. Amanda was a girl from my Spanish class. She sat a few rows over from me. I barely knew her, but she seemed really nice. “You really shouldn’t let him treat you like that,” she whispered.
I knew she meant well, but those words were just not the ones I needed to hear at that moment. I smiled politely at her and said, “I know.” I quickly turned to face my locker just as the first tear rolled down my cheek.
I changed into my cheerleading practice clothes in the upper hallway bathroom; no one ever went into that bathroom after school. I just needed some time to compose myself before practice began. The other cheerleaders were well aware of how Trevor treated me, but blinded by his popularity, they had a tendency to overlook his temper. Maybe they were secretly jealous that I was dating the newest captain of the varsity football team. How lucky I must have looked in their eyes. Little do they know…
I finished getting dressed for practice and walked outside toward the football field. Just as I rounded the corner, I saw a group of guys skateboarding near the gym. I recognized a few faces from my senior class, but several of them were underclassmen. A couple of guys were sitting around the base of Bruiser. Bruiser was the statue of our school mascot, the bulldog, that was erected outside the gymnasium and dedicated by the graduating class of 1995. The guys who were sitting around Bruiser were strumming their guitars and singing while the skateboarders jumped the curbs and rode the rails.
“Hey Kaitlyn, what’s up?” One of the skateboarders tossed his hand up and waved.
I waved back. “Hey Allen.”
Allen was never really part of the so called in-crowd, and I was only part of the social elite by default. I was popular because I was a cheerleader. However, I loved cheerleading more for the sport of it than in what social class it placed me. I loved the tumbling and the stunts. I always challenged myself to push harder when running or lifting weights. Cheerleading was a natural high for me. I think I was in the minority, though. Most of the cheerleaders cared more about how cute they looked in their short skirt than how far they could throw a basket toss. I tried to be friendly to everyone, which usually got me dirty looks from the other cheerleaders. They didn’t try to understand why I would even bother talking to someone beneath us in the social hierarchy. To me, standing outside of the elite circle felt more comfortable. I never really felt like I quite fit in with the in-crowd, anyway.
“Yo Kaitlyn, is your man Trevor gonna carry us to the championships this year?” Allen asked with admiration in his voice.
It never failed. Trevor seemed to have followers everywhere.
“Hopefully!” I answered with fake enthusiasm.
“Tell him I said good luck.”
“I will. See you later, Allen.”
My last word stopped short as I caught a glimpse of the deepest, darkest eyes staring at me. One of the guys I had heard singing was staring at me as I walked past him sitting on the brick retaining wall. He had the most beautiful dark brown eyes, with eyelashes that cast shadows onto his cheeks. A gray Hurley hat sat cockeyed on his head with a few soft curls flipping out around it. His black hoodie draped carelessly around his shoulders. He wore a stud diamond earring, a coned barbell in his eyebrow, and a silver hoop in his lower lip—but all that cold hard metal didn’t take away from the softness in his eyes. He held my gaze as the butterflies awakened and began fluttering in the pit of my stomach. His hand stopped strumming and dropped down by his side. Ever so casually, he pulled the corner of his mouth up in a half grin. I caught myself shyly smiling back, and our eyes locked. Slowing my pace, I tried to relish the moment between us. I had never felt so enraptured, and yet so…addled. Quickly, I tore my eyes away from his gaze and rushed toward my destination. I was afraid to look back at the mystery guy with the dark, enchanting eyes and the guitar in his lap. I
could almost feel him staring at me as I continued walking toward the football field. When I finally got far enough away, I heard the music start again. Who was that guy?!
“Kaitlyn, there you are!” Allison called to me as I reached the group of girls. They were all stretching out and awaiting my arrival.
With not a cloud in the sky, the track around the football field where we normally practiced was scorching hot under the blazing sun. Our school was the only school in the county that still had an asphalt track; all the others had the springy latex resurfaced tracks. We hoped our Booster Club would foot the bill to resurface our track soon. Instead of roasting on the asphalt, the girls had chosen a patch of grass at the edge of the end zone to stretch out for practice.
“Yeah, sorry I’m late. I got caught up.”
“No problem.” Allison jumped right into what she does best—leading. Occasionally, I was so thankful she was the co-captain; I was no good at being the boss. “We’re going to start with the dance from the routine. Then we are going to work on the new cheer for homecoming this year. Is that okay with you?”
“Sure, whatever.” I had too much on my mind to care. However, the new cheer for homecoming did pique my interest a little. From a distance, I could see Trevor working out with the football team. In the few minutes I had been there, I hadn’t seen them stop doing push-ups yet. I could tell he was taking his anger at me out on the second string. Those poor guys—I knew they would be sore the next day.
Completely distracted, I stumbled through practice. I could still see the guys skateboarding by the gym. My eyes casually searched for the mystery guy.
I fumbled through the motions while Allison counted out the dance. “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8…1, 2—”
“Hey! Ouch!” Eva yelled. I’d bumped into her, nearly knocking her down when I took a step in the wrong direction.
“Sorry,” I apologized, throwing my hands up and shrugging my shoulders.
Allison confronted me. “What’s gotten into you, Kaitlyn?”
“I said sorry!” I said defensively.
“Look, I’m not accusing. I’m just asking. What’s your deal today?” Allison backed off a little.
“Caleb told me that she and Trevor got into a fight today,” Eva said with a smirk.
I fought tears as I rolled my eyes at her. Why did Eva have to hate me so much? She had never liked me. I felt like she had been competing with me from the first day we met. For her, it was a never ending battle, and once I started dating Trevor, she had pretty much declared war. I think she would have reduced me to ashes if she had her choice. I tolerated her for the sake of the squad. “Don’t worry about it,” I practically hissed.
“Kaitlyn,” Rachel interjected. “Why do you let Trevor treat you like that?” I had known Rachel as long as I had known Allison. Rachel and I shared Allison. We were friends, and we got along well. However, friendship triangles never work, and we always battled for Allison’s attention. Rachel was a few inches taller than me, with fiery red hair and bright blue eyes. She was brilliant and usually the teacher’s pet. Rachel was well on her way to an Ivy League school. Cheerleading, to her, was just an extracurricular activity that looked good on her college applications.
“Everything is fine,” I lied. “It was just a…misunderstanding. Trevor loves me and that’s all that matters.” I had lied more times than I could count about our arguments. He was far more controlling than I let other people believe. I never told anyone the real reason why I had to wear leggings under my cheerleading skirt and why I couldn’t wear tank tops anymore. “Let’s just get back to practicing,” I ordered. This conversation is over.
I managed to get through practice without knocking anyone else down.
After practice, I saw Trevor leaning against his truck waiting for me. I walked cautiously up to him, unsure of his mood. “Hey baby,” he said sweetly. “How was practice?”
“Good,” I said. “Yours?”
“Pretty good. I couldn’t take my eyes off you the whole time. You looked so beautiful.”
I was taken aback by his pleasant mood.
“Hey,” he said as he hugged me closely and kissed me softly on the forehead. “Sorry about that thing after school. I guess I didn’t realize you guys were talking about a science project. Can I make it up to you?”
“Okay.” I eyed him warily. “What did you have in mind?”
“I could take you to see that movie you wanted to see—the chick flick.”
“Great,” I tried to sound enthusiastic, but our most recent argument still felt fresh in my mind, and the bruise he caused still looked fresh on my arm.
We drove home in silence. I looked away from Trevor, ignoring him as he held my hand and caressed my skin with his thumb while we cruised down the road. Confusion and fear continued to plague me while I stared out the window at the scenery as it blurred by me.
I was startled awake at two in the morning. The deep penetrating brown eyes in my dream felt so real. I could not get those dark, intriguing eyes of the mystery guy out of my head. There was something about them that felt so…comforting.
That morning, my excitement to get to school overwhelmed me. As I walked into the building, I scanned the clusters of students gathered outside. I figured I could pick those eyes out of a crowd by then, since I’d seen them all night in my dreams. I searched the hallways as I walked toward my locker. Trevor caught up with me just as I reached it.
“Hey you,” he teased. “You’re a hard girl to catch up with.” His wink entranced me like a snake charmer’s flute.
He was so hard to resist. I grinned at him. “That depends on how fast you run to catch me,” I teased back.
Suddenly, his eyes turned stone cold. “Don’t worry. I’d hunt you down.”
I wasn’t sure if he was still teasing me or not. But, he seemed dead serious. Was he threatening me? Did he know about the mystery guy? Maybe Allison told him how distracted I was at practice yesterday. Maybe he had figured it out. Surely not. How could he? I hoped I was just being paranoid.
Classes seemed to drag by. Between each class I scanned the crowds to find the mystery guy. My next to last class of the day was Theatre Arts. I had chosen that class as an easy elective. It turned out to be my most challenging course.
When I walked into the class, I caught my breath. There he sat—the mysterious guitarist who had kept me swooning the past twenty-four hours. He glanced up at me just as my eyes and smile widened with pleasant surprise. I looked away, bewildered, trying to compose myself. Walking as casually as I could manage, I took my assigned seat right next to his.
“‘Sup?” he said, acknowledging me with a slight nod of his head.
My breath hitched at the sound of his voice. The burst of adrenaline caused my heart to pound in my chest. He leaned toward me. The scent of his cologne awakened my senses with its crisp and refreshing aroma that reminded me of the sandalwood and cedar scents from my favorite clothing store in the mall.
“I’m Chris,” he said, introducing himself. “Chris King.”
“Hi,” I said as my mouth fumbled for words. “I’m Kaitlyn Davenport. You must be new here.” Well, genius, that was a brilliant observation. Duh!
“Yeah, I stopped by yesterday afternoon to get my new schedule and to check out the school. I just transferred here from Fairbanks.”
His deep brown eyes searched mine as I mentally struggled for the next thing to say. “That’s cool,” I managed. “Fairbanks is a good school.”
“Not the school,” he corrected, without even as much as a hiccup. My expression must have shown my confusion because he clarified his statement by whispering, “Juvie.” Glancing around, he slouched down in his chair and stuffed his hands deeper into his pockets. He claimed his space by spreading his legs wide and placing one foot on each side of the desk in front of him. He let one knee angle out into the aisle between us. I couldn’t tell if it was a sign of his insolence toward school or if he was just a typical guy declaring his ter
ritory.
“Oh.” My cheeks flooded with embarrassment, turning several shades of pink as I shifted my eyes away from his confident gaze. So, this was the guy I had heard rumblings about throughout the school. Rumors had flooded the halls about all of the possible reasons why he had been in a juvenile detention center. I wondered if they were true.
“Whoever he is, we’d better stay away from him. He might be dangerous,” Allison said solemnly one day after practice. We were standing outside the field house waiting for our boyfriends to finish with football practice. Several of the cheerleaders were talking about some guy they had heard about who was going to transfer to our school after spending some time in jail. None of us had ever known anyone our age who had spent time behind bars.
“You’re right,” Rachel agreed. “We probably shouldn’t associate ourselves with troublemakers like that anyway.”
“I agree with Allison and Rachel.” Eva nodded. “You just never know…”
Looking at the guy sitting beside me in Theatre Arts, he didn’t look dangerous. For once, I agreed with Eva. You could never be too sure about a person. I averted my eyes and pretended to look busy as I began rummaging through my backpack. Chris didn’t say another word to me the rest of the class. I forced myself not to look in his direction. Each time I caught myself wanting to, I could feel the blood rise to meet my cheeks while my heart pounded out of my chest. I just hoped he didn’t notice my uneasiness. When the bell finally rang, it saved me from my personal torture. I jumped up and instinctively ran to my last class without even looking back.
That night, my dreams were plagued by those deep, haunting eyes again. I woke up more exhausted than I had been before I had gone to bed. The dark circles that encompassed my eyes were proof of my restless night. I stood at the bathroom mirror longer than usual trying to hide my fatigue with my liquid makeup concealer.
So Much It Hurts Page 4
