When Love Comes

by J. H. Croix

  There was a bite to the air and had been for the past few weeks. Fall had taken hold, the faded fireweed a harbinger. Fall would be brief with winter nipping at its heels. At the truck, Jessie promptly leaped in and curled up on the seat. Hannah leaned down and put her forehead against Jessie’s soft furred face. Jessie rubbed against her and licked her hand.

  Hannah drove the route home. What had felt peculiarly new for a while had resumed its familiarity. The landscape of Diamond Creek was tattooed in her memory. With her parents gone, the memory had altered. She saw the same sights through a different lens, a lens of loss and reconnection. The loss of her parents was an echo now. She hadn’t stopped missing them and figured she never would. It was just that it was no longer a pain she ran from, but a lesson in how love morphs with loss and what you remember of those you loved. She thought of Emma who had returned to North Carolina last week.

  Her thoughts traveled to Luke and the last time she’d seen him—last week at the dinner with his parents. The restless feeling she’d been so accustomed to before her parents died had been flickering since that night. She figured Luke thought she was upset about Cristina. Oddly enough, after she’d had a little time to think, it was clear to her that he’d had nothing to do with that. It was his mother proclaiming that they were destined to last that propelled Hannah into asking Luke for a break. While she didn’t dwell on it much, she had taken one look at Cristina and thought she came up short if that were the kind of woman that attracted Luke. Cristina had been polished and crackling with charisma, all that Hannah wasn’t. Hannah shook those thoughts away.

  Hannah walked onto the deck, Jessie meandering through the yard. The sun was setting; dusk falling softly in its wake. The already crisp air was getting colder. Fall brought rich lavender streaks to the orange and red of sunsets. As winter set in, the sky would often reflect purple against the snowy mountains. Alpenglow, it was called. She looked to see if termination dust had fallen yet. The mountains remained free of snow, but she expected to see it creep downward any day now. She took a breath and caught a hint of woodsmoke. The distinct scent brought to mind the sensation of warmth and a fire in the woodstove, a haven in the cold, dark nights with the orange glimmer an anchor in the darkness. The night temperatures were already approaching freezing. With winter coming, she found herself missing Luke and wishing she didn’t. She tried to push him out of her mind, failing completely.

  Entering the house, Hannah looked around, quiet surrounding her. Jessie licked her hand and patiently looked up at her. She gave Jessie a stroke on the head and went to fill her water bowl. She considered building a fire in the woodstove, but the idea made her lonely. After demanding a break from Luke, she berated herself now, wishing she’d kept her mouth shut and hadn’t overreacted.

  Reconsidering that fire, she quickly tossed the last few pieces of wood from the wood rack into the stove and started a fire. The sky was darkening outside, only a few remaining streaks of color were left from the sun, which had made its bow not long after she came inside, sliding gracefully behind the mountains. A crescent moon rose behind those same mountains, a curved sliver of silver in the sky.

  She ordered pizza for dinner and ate by herself in the living room. Firelight flickered against the hardwood floor, reflecting through the glass in the stove door. She curled up on the sofa, sipping wine and flipping through television channels, loneliness arcing through her. Jessie’s presence eased the teeth of loneliness, but Hannah couldn’t shake the fear that she might have just blown something good with Luke. That sense was at war with the restlessness that had protected her heart for so long. She considered calling Susie, but Susie had already made it clear that she thought Hannah had overreacted. Her next thought was that she should call Luke, but she wasn’t ready yet.

  Hannah stood in line at Misty Mountain, checking her watch. Susie was supposed to meet her, but she was a few minutes early. She ordered coffee and snagged a table, aimlessly flipping through the newspaper while she waited. Boots clicked across the floor and came to a stop by Hannah’s table. Her eyes landed on a pair of shiny leather boots before she looked up, finding Cristina. Cristina was just as put-together today as she’d been the evening last week. Not a hair out of place, subtle makeup that enhanced her dark eyes, and bright red lipstick. She wore fitted black jeans and a quilted vest over a red silk blouse. Hannah felt mediocre in her jeans and fleece jacket. She brushed her hair back and waited.

  Cristina arched an eyebrow when Hannah didn’t greet her. A smirk followed. “So, this is how it’s gonna be? As promised, your friend has made sure everyone in town knows me and thinks I’m a bitch. I won’t be around much longer, but just thought I’d let you know that Luke’s no angel.”

  Hannah remained silent, refusing to engage. Just as Cristina started to speak again, the door to the coffee shop opened, and Susie walked in. She quickly saw Hannah and Cristina and almost sprinted to their table.

  “Heard you were still around,” Susie said without preamble. “You obviously don’t have enough sense to realize you’re not wanted here.”

  “It’s a free country,” Cristina replied. “What’s it to you, anyway?”

  “You’re messing with my friends,” Susie said, her eyes dark with anger.

  Hannah stood up by Susie. Every so often, she took pleasure towering over other women and now happened to be one of those times. She looked down at Cristina. “I’m not sure what your point is, but you’re wasting your time.”

  Cristina looked up at her. “Woman to woman…just trying to do you a favor. I dated Luke for over a year. He dumped me after Nathan tried to come on to me. Before and since then, all he’s known for is being a player.”

  Hannah felt flushed. As mixed as her feelings were about Luke, she knew he wasn’t what this woman wanted her to think. Susie started to respond, her finger almost on Cristina’s nose.

  “What the hell are you still doing here?” a male voice asked.

  Hannah turned and saw Nathan and Luke approaching, Nathan a few steps ahead. He stopped beside Susie, facing Cristina.

  “This is bullshit. You know damn well Luke doesn’t want you around,” Nathan said, cutting Susie off.

  Hannah almost laughed aloud when Susie high-fived Nathan. Luke came to stand beside her. “Leave her out of this,” Luke said, gesturing to Hannah. “You played your games with my mom and you’re pissed because you can’t get your way with me, but you’re not gonna drag her into this.”

  Cristina glared at Luke. “Believe what you want. I just thought she should know what kind of man you are.”

  Nathan cut in. “The kind who has enough sense to dump you when he finally saw you for who you were.”

  “If you think this is going to work, it took me about two seconds to see you for what you are,” Susie said, her words coming out sharply. “A shallow, superficial bitch. It’s none of your business what Hannah thinks of Luke, and she’s smart enough to see through you.” Susie moved closer to Hannah.

  Hannah looked at Luke finally, having avoided doing so at first. He looked angry, but distant. She knew the anger was directed at Cristina, but she wasn’t sure about the distance. She turned to Cristina. “Why don’t you just go? No one wants you here.”

  Cristina lifted her chin, her shiny hair falling in perfect lines as she moved. She shrugged. “Whatever. Just remember, I’m the one in this situation who has nothing to lose. What reason would I have to lie?” She shifted her gaze to Luke, her eyes cold. “Just doing a girl a favor.” She turned on her heel and walked out.

  Hannah looked around and saw plenty of eyes on them. She sat down and took a gulp of coffee.

  “What is her deal? Why the hell is she still in town?” Susie asked, directing her questions to Nathan and Luke.

  “Because she likes to play games,” Nathan said. “No other reason.”

  “And she can’t stand it when she doesn’t get what she wants,” Luke said. “She doesn’t really want me; she just wants to be the one calling the s
hots on that.” He grabbed the closest chair and sat down abruptly.

  Hannah felt him looking at her. Susie was still talking to Nathan, venting her annoyance with Cristina. Hannah finally lifted her eyes to Luke’s. Just seeing his deep green eyes brought a pang to her heart. His eyes were wary, but he didn’t look away.

  “Sorry she dragged you into this. You okay?” he asked.

  “I’m fine. If you’re worried that I believe her—don’t be.”

  A look of relief flashed across his face. “Does that mean I can see you again soon?”

  That old familiar feeling flared inside Hannah, the one that made her want to run, literally and figuratively. On the heels of that came the thought that Luke mattered to her—a lot. She looked into his eyes again, but found she just wasn’t ready yet.

  She shrugged. “I don’t know…”

  The wary look returned to Luke’s eyes. He turned away. “Okay…if you don’t believe her, what’s the problem?”

  Hannah looked around the coffee shop, seeing they were surrounded by people. Susie and Nathan had walked over to order coffee. She wanted to explain to Luke that she hadn’t asked for a break because of Cristina, but because the idea that his mother saw them as a couple that could last terrified her. She just wasn’t ready to explain that now and certainly not here with an audience.

  “Can you give me a little more time?” she asked.

  He nodded; his lips tightened, a muscle in his jaw twitching. “Of course,” he said tightly. “Call me when you’re ready.” He stood abruptly and walked to Nathan’s side. She watched while they got their coffee and left, a sinking feeling inside.

  Susie sat back down and gave her a long look. “So you sent him packing again, huh?”

  “Susie, cut me some slack. I can’t even think straight. I don’t need you on my back.”

  Susie didn’t back down, but then she never did. “Okay…you want me to cut you some slack. I will, but that doesn’t mean I’ll lie to you about it. It’s plain as day that Luke’s crazy for you. You won’t admit it, but you’re crazy for him too. I’ll let it rest for now, but I’m not going to watch you throw this away over something stupid.”

  Luke strode down the dock at the harbor. A brisk breeze blew in from the bay. Stepping onto the boat deck, he walked to the bow and looked out over the harbor. The sun had fallen behind the mountains, streaks of light reaching in its wake, pink and lavender swirling in the sky. He shivered and walked into the cabin. With a sigh, he sat down in a booth. He’d been in a crappy mood ever since the encounter with Hannah at Misty Mountain. Funny thing was he wasn’t dwelling on Cristina’s part, but that he wasn’t sure why Hannah wanted a break. He reminded himself that he’d been back and forth about her, so it shouldn’t matter to him so much that she wanted a break. He tried to resurrect the old lines he told himself about why he liked relationships to stay casual, but it wasn’t working. He just kept thinking that he wanted her back.

  He absentmindedly traced the grooves in the table’s wood surface. Just as he was convincing himself he needed to pull himself together and leave, he felt the boat shift and heard someone stepping onto the deck. In another moment, Nathan opened the cabin door, looking in with a questioning gaze.

  “Uh…what are you doing here? Just came by to get my rain jacket. Left it the other day.” Nathan tucked the lone rain jacket hanging on the wall under his arm. At Luke’s silence, he sat down, facing him on the opposite side of the booth.

  “What’s that look?” Luke asked.

  “Just wondering what you’re doing here.”

  Luke shrugged. “Hell if I know.”

  Nathan nodded, his eyes considering. “I got a hunch.”

  “Oh really?”

  “Hannah. You’ve been a bear since she asked for a break,” Nathan said.

  Luke started to deny it and then gave up. “This whole thing’s gotten under my skin. Between Cristina’s crap and Mom putting pressure on me…and now I don’t know what going on with Hannah.”

  Nathan gave him a thoughtful look. “So just admit she matters.”

  Luke rolled his eyes. “Dude…would I be saying anything about her if she didn’t matter?”

  Nathan shook his head. “Doesn’t look like it to me. Forget Cristina’s bullshit and Mom pressuring you. Forget your usual routine with women. Forget how pissed you are that Hannah asked for a break. Dude, she needs to know you’re in love with her.”

  Luke took his words in and couldn’t believe it was Nathan, of all people, telling him this. “You think I’m in love with her?” he asked incredulously. He recoiled at the thought.

  Nathan nodded emphatically. “Yup. You are—even though you keep trying to pretend you’re not. Maybe you should use our business name as your motto for Hannah – let her be the one that didn’t get away.”

  Luke sat silently. His initial reaction was to tell Nathan he was full of it. But…a small part of him knew Nathan might be right. He just couldn’t believe he was now in the position of figuring out how to persuade Hannah to give him a chance, and he sure as hell couldn’t believe he was entertaining the idea that he might have fallen in love with anyone.

  He looked over at Nathan, who looked amused. “Not funny, dude,” Luke said.

  “Oh, it’s funny all right—me being the one to give you relationship advice.”

  Luke smiled wryly. “Yeah…wouldn’t have predicted that.” He sobered. “You might be right—about how I feel about Hannah. Just have to figure out what to do.”

  Nathan lifted his eyebrows. “You will. But don’t think too much…just do.” He glanced out the windows. “Getting dark. Takeout? Your choice: pizza or Chinese.”

  Luke looked toward the cabin windows; the sky was barely light now. His chest was tight, and he didn’t want to think. “Pizza sounds good.” He stood quickly and looked to Nathan. Nathan stood and slipped his cell phone out of his pocket.

  “I’ll order. One veggie and one loaded with meat. Mom can think we’re trying to be healthy with the veggie,” he said with a wink.

  Sometimes Nathan’s willingness to let heavy topics lie was just what was needed, and now was definitely one of those moments. “Sounds good to me.”

  They climbed off the boat. It was close to dark with early stars winking in the sky. The sliver of moon visible shone against the water, the light rippling with the breeze that stirred the water. Nathan headed for the pizza place, and Luke headed home ahead of him.

  If his parents or Jared sensed his inner turmoil later while they were eating, they elected to leave him be for now. He lay in bed that night, his mind revisiting his conversation with Nathan. He couldn’t believe he might have stumbled into falling in love with Hannah. He had to find a way to talk to her. Sleep was slow to come.

  Chapter 24

  A few days later, Hannah finished a morning run, deliberately running until she was exhausted. She tried to scald her thoughts away with a shower so hot she could barely tolerate it. She was just coming downstairs when she heard tires on gravel. Susie’s car came to a stop in the drive.

  Susie came bearing coffee and savories. She didn’t waste time once Hannah took a sip of coffee. “Okay, I told you I’d cut you some slack, but I’m backing out. You look miserable. Call Luke and cut the crap.”

  Hannah wanted to avoid this conversation. She felt tears well. “I’m not ready for a relationship. Why isn’t that okay?”

  Susie’s brown eyes held her gaze, warmth showing through her frustration. “It would be okay if it wasn’t obvious to me you’re avoiding. I watched you do nothing but hook up with losers after you caught Damon cheating on you. You made damn sure not to date anyone that mattered. Whatever…I got it. Then you went the other direction after your parents died…dating no one. You finally find someone worth it, who’s obviously into you, and you’re on the verge of letting it slip away. That’s just dumb. This, this break thing, whatever the hell that means, is pointless.”

  Hannah couldn’t help but chuckle at Susie�
��s earnest concern. She sobered quickly. “I’m confused. I really am. I just need a break to catch my breath and my thoughts. Is that okay?”

  Susie gave an elaborate sigh. “No! After worrying about you almost every day since your parents died, I was finally starting to think you made it through and had someone for you and maybe Luke would help me not worry so much about you being alone.” Susie teared up for a second and quickly shook her head.

  Hannah reached a hand out to Susie’s shoulder. “I know you’ve worried. And you have no idea how much that means to me. I got spooked by how great it was with Luke. Meeting his parents pushed me over the edge.”

  Susie placed her hand over Hannah’s, which still rested on her shoulder. “You sure it’s not that Cristina thing? ‘Cause if it’s that…”

  Hannah shook her head emphatically. “No, it’s not that. I mean the whole drama didn’t help when we were at dinner, but I can see her for who she is. It’s just…”

  “Just that Luke’s really great and you’re freaked out. Get over it.”

  Hannah laughed against the tight feeling in her throat. “Give me a few days. Can we agree not to talk about it just for a few days? I need a minute to think.”

  Susie gave her another long look and then shrugged. “A few days. But that’s it. Then we’re talking again. For now, let’s eat.”

  Susie was true to her word and let the subject of Luke and Hannah lie quiet. By the time Susie left, the sun was high in the sky. The fall sky was bright blue with wispy clouds high above, a brisk breeze blowing in from the bay. Hannah felt the bite of loneliness again. She held her cell phone in her hand for long minutes, thinking about calling Luke, trying to find a way to explain the confusion she felt.