Dr. Ohhh

by Ana Sparks

  Still, there was no denying the effect Jake had on me. Even now, just thinking about that ripped and tattooed chest, those forest green eyes, that military-short hair, I was getting excited. Yes, I wanted him; there was no doubt about that.

  With one final ribbit, Gerald began hopping back the way I’d come. I followed him. If I wanted to get out of this crazy situation alive, then my desire for Jake would have to stay unfulfilled.

  The walk back to the cabin was even nicer. By now, my mind was quiet enough to notice the patterns of sunlight on the dirt and grass I passed over, the reassuring aroma of pine that enveloped everything, and the little chickadees and robins that peered at me from high tree branches.

  When the cabin was back in sight, I was almost smiling.

  Incredibly enough, Gerald was still hopping along with me, and he continued to do so all the way up the stairs. I smiled at the impertinent little green thing, only at the last second noticing the big black boot coming into view.

  “Where were you?” Jake snapped as his boot descended on Gerald.

  “Watch out!” I cried.

  But it was too late; Gerald hadn’t jumped out of the way in time, and he was now trapped, struggling, under Jake’s huge boot.

  “What the hell?” Jake demanded as I shoved him.

  “Your boot! You stepped on a toad! Move your boot!”

  “Oh.”

  Jake paused, peered down, and lifted his boot.

  Gerald thrashed in vain, one of his legs pancaked and immobile.

  “Shit. I wasn’t looking,” Jake said softly, leaning down as I did.

  I reached out, remembering my bound hands at the last minute.

  “Here, I’ll get him,” Jake said, scooping up Gerald in his huge hand.

  As he was lifted, Gerald let out a reproachful ribbit, and Jake shook his head.

  “I know, buddy, but it was an accident. I’m sorry.”

  As he walked up the steps, he continued. “Now don’t you worry. I’ve got just the place for you to heal.”

  At the door he paused. Turning around, he addressed my open-mouthed face. “You coming?”

  I followed him inside without a word and went to sit on the couch. There was no way Jake was serious. This had to be some sort of trick.

  But then Jake disappeared upstairs, and a minute or so later he returned with a giant tank, in which, gazing out at me dismally, was Gerald. After setting the huge tank on the counter, Jake was all business.

  “We’ll have to find some stones and dirt to put inside. I remember learning something about terrariums in class when I was a kid. Then some water and our little toad friend should be good to go.”

  He paused and caught my eye.

  “What?”

  “Just…why do you care?”

  Jake shrugged and, grabbing a plastic bag from a drawer, headed for the door.

  “Dunno. I’ve just always liked animals I guess.”

  After opening the door, he turned to me. “You coming?”

  When I followed him outside, I had to stop only a few feet out the door as Jake paused.

  “Pip!” he called. “Pip!”

  A few seconds later, a wolf came running up to us.

  I made for the door but had trouble opening it with my hands bound.

  A hand was patting my shoulder. I turned to see Jake grinning at my fear.

  “Don’t you worry, princess. Pip’s a wolfdog. She’s half husky and loves new friends.”

  As if eager to prove the truth of her owner’s words, Pip covered my bound hands in exuberant licks.

  “So…she’s yours?” I asked, casting a curious look over at Jake, who was watching the scene with obvious pleasure.

  “Yeah. I found her out in the woods all abandoned, kinda like me. We’ve gotten along ever since. She lives in the forest but comes to visit every day, and sometimes she sleeps in the cabin, too.”

  “Huh,” I said, patting her gray head.

  “What?” he asked.

  “I don’t know. I guess I just expected—”

  “That being a kidnapper I’d be a vicious, animal-hating baby killer?”

  Even I couldn’t help but laugh at that one.

  “No. Well…not exactly.”

  Jake’s hand went beside mine, patting the lolling-tongued dog.

  “Told you, princess. There’s a whole lot you don’t know about me.”

  There was something sad in the way he said it, but a few seconds later he started walking into the forest the way I’d gone, saying, “You ready to start looking?”

  I followed a bit slowly.

  “And what if I’m not?”

  As Pip galloped ahead, Jake paused until I was beside him. Then, patting my cheek again and staring into my eyes, he said, “Now, princess, don’t pretend that you don’t like spending time with me.”

  I glared at his taunting smirk, but next thing I knew, he was jogging after Pip.

  “Careful not to get lost!” he called.

  Still, I didn’t speed up. I was a bit tired from the long walk I’d just taken, and I wasn’t about to wear myself out by getting lost in some strange forest.

  A few minutes later, Jake was back, showing me the contents of his plastic bag.

  “Got soil, some twigs, and leaves. What about you?”

  I lifted my hands to show him what I’d managed to grasp between them.

  “A nice big rock.”

  Jake chuckled.

  “Yeah. I forgot the whole ‘your hands being bound’ thing.”

  I didn’t say anything. With his pointer finger, he tapped the end of my nose.

  “Oh, come on, princess, lighten up.”

  I turned away.

  “Well, it hurts.”

  Jake’s eyebrows crinkled together.

  “Oh shit, really?”

  He took my hands in his arms and moved the rope to see the angry red welts underneath.

  “I didn’t think you were being serious…”

  I ripped my hands out of his grasp, wincing at the pain the sudden movement caused.

  “What difference does it make anyway? You aren’t going to release me.”

  Jake said nothing and didn’t move as I flopped down to sit on the ground. It was too tiring to stand, and maybe he would go away for a bit if I sat down.

  He didn’t say anything, only crouched down beside me and, his mouth at my ear, said softly, “You know, it isn’t easy seeing you in pain like this.”

  I said nothing, keeping my gaze on the smooth rock in my palm.

  There was no point in looking over at him, in hoping. Jake had said it himself: “Orders are orders.”

  He placed his hand on mine and, with his other, produced a pair of shears.

  With one swift cut, my hands were free.

  My hands shook as they were released. Hardly able to believe what I was seeing, I turned to him.

  After a few seconds of shocked staring, the words tumbled out of me.

  “Thank you.”

  Jake turned away.

  “Don’t thank me; it’s only common decency. This job is turning out to be a lot more than I bargained for.”

  I stopped myself before I said “me too.”

  A few minutes later, our search completed successfully, the three of us returned the way we had come. Pip trotted on ahead, Jake close behind, and then, last of all, came me.

  My hands, newly freed, were precious. I let them run over the trunks of trees and pine branches, felt the smoothness of hanging leaves. My feet were similarly pleased. I skipped; I hopped; I jumped; I ran. Jake shot a few guilty yet pleased looks over his shoulder at me.

  By the time we got back, Pip was howling victoriously at the door. Jake gave her an affectionate head rub as he opened it.

  As I walked in, Pip turned her attention to me and jumped up on my chest, her excited bulk overwhelming and a bit scary.

  Seeing me freeze up, Jake pulled Pip away.

  “Calm down, girl. Alice has had a hard day as it
is. She doesn’t know that you’re a big old softie who couldn’t harm a fly, or that people just get the wrong idea about you and keep it.”

  Something in his face as he said it made me think that Pip wasn’t the only one Jake was talking about.

  Once I settled onto the couch, Pip hopped up beside me. Jake busied himself with emptying the contents of the plastic bag into the corner of the tank.

  “Want help?” I asked.

  He shook his head.

  “Nah. I’m the reason our toad friend is hurt, so I want to do this myself.”

  After a few more seconds, he added, “And I wouldn’t put it past you to slam my face into this tank here when I’m not looking.”

  “Really?” I asked, and he nodded.

  “Yeah. Something tells me there’s a bit more to you than meets the eye, princess. I mean, you said it yourself.”

  “You really mean that, don’t you?” I said after a beat of silence. “And not just in a joking way.”

  His back to me, Jake shrugged.

  “You don’t trust people, do you?” I asked softly.

  His shoulders stiffened. Silence.

  “No. I can’t say that I do,” he finally said after a minute. “I can’t say they’ve given me much reason to.”

  I fell silent, patting Pip’s fluffy head and feeling a strange, misplaced sense of guilt for the tensed back of this closed-off man.

  After a few minutes, Jake bustled over, tank in hand.

  “Whaddya think?”

  I took in the setup: the impressive mountain of dirt with its covering of twigs, sticks, and leaves and its still fairly dismal-looking occupant, Gerald, gazing out at me.

  “Well, it’s…”

  “I’m a toad killer, I know,” Jake said despondently.

  His face fell. Pip let out a little yip, and a grin slid onto Jake’s face.

  “Yes, of course! We still need the water!”

  And then he was gone, over at the sink filling the tank with a low level of water.

  He returned with a broad grin, and just as I was about to speak, he held up his hand. “Last we need the finishing touch—rock, please.”

  I held out my hand and opened it. Jake grasped the smooth thing eagerly and plopped it down inside.

  Then, putting it on the ground in front of us, he dropped onto the couch next to me.

  “There,” he said, sinking deeper into the maroon cushion as his eyes closed in content.

  His leg was touching mine, but he didn’t seem to notice. Or, if he did, he didn’t seem to care.

  After a few seconds, he jumped up and grasped my hand.

  “Hey, look!”

  I scrambled up and crouched down beside him to see Gerald swimming eagerly in the water. His hurt leg jerked out unnaturally, but he was gliding from one end of the tank to the other nonetheless.

  “Looks like he likes it,” I said.

  Jake squeezed my hand. As I extricated it, he released his hold.

  “Sorry.”

  “It’s fine,” I said, averting my gaze and returning to the couch.

  He sat next to me and shot me a sidelong look.

  “You’re blushing.”

  “Can you please just leave me alone for a second?” I burst out.

  Jake’s face transformed before my eyes. The almost childlike look of giddiness was wiped away by a furious snarl.

  Storming off, over his shoulder Jake sardonically said, “Whatever you say, princess.”

  Pip and I sat there looking at each other, wondering just what I’d done and, worse still, just what I’d gotten myself into.

  Chapter Six

  Jake

  Stupid, stupid, stupid.

  I slammed my fist onto the top of my bedroom cabinet, leaving a dent beside another where I’d slammed my fist before.

  What was wrong with me? She was just some rich, high-society bitch. Some uppity princess who thought herself more worldly and humble than she was. Why did I care what she thought?

  Sure, she’d probably make a fun lay, but I’d already had a ton of those. Those exciting nights and empty mornings, the same nothing-faced girls slipping out the door and away. Yeah, I’d had enough of those.

  Who gave a damn about it anyway? About any of this? It was just a stupid job—a big one, but just a job. That was all. Just a few more hours and I’d be free of her.

  My stomach growled. I should’ve gotten food supplies before I’d decided to take a hostage. Still, there were some cheese balls downstairs. Just because I was down there didn’t mean I had to talk to her.

  Once downstairs, I found the bag of cheese balls emptier than I remembered. I headed for the stairs without a word, however. The skinny little rich girl probably hadn’t had a non-organic snack since she could talk.

  “Your hand…”

  “What?”

  Alice had risen, and she took my hand in hers.

  I looked down and was surprised to see a splinter embedded in it, blood trickling out of the gash.

  Ripping my hand away, I backed up a few steps.

  “It’s nothing.”

  But Alice’s face was unchanged. She looked as concerned as ever.

  “It doesn’t look like nothing,” she said softly.

  Pip let out a small bark of support.

  “Listen…” Alice took the snack bag and set it on the floor. Then she took my hand in hers. “I’m sorry about before. I…it’s just been a tough day. This wedding, my life—it isn’t the fairy tale it seems, okay? And you just…you got me at a bad time.”

  I said nothing.

  “Can I just take the splinter out, please?” she asked.

  I said nothing and let her lead me upstairs to the bathroom.

  Once there, she turned to me and asked, “Do you have any tweezers?”

  I laughed.

  “You kidding me? What kind of place do you think this is?”

  She frowned, and I opened the cupboard under the sink.

  “Wait a sec. Let me just check the basket.”

  I peered into the little pink plastic container of all things girly—all of my nighttime visitors’ left behind belongings. There were some hair ties and a brush, some toothbrushes, a thong, a bra, and, sure enough, a pair of tweezers.

  “Here ya go,” I said, handing her the metal thing.

  “I won’t ask,” she said, leaning in with the tweezers. “Now, this is gonna—”

  I roared as hot fire enveloped my palm.

  “Hurt,” Alice said, dangling the bloody splinter before me victoriously. Then she pressed a wad of toilet paper to my palm.

  “Goddam,” I swore, sitting on the bathroom floor.

  “You good?” Alice asked, sitting beside me.

  “Yeah, yeah,” I said. “No bandages, so I’ll have to press on it till it stops.”

  “Okay. I hope it doesn’t hurt too much,” she said, actually sounding like she meant it. When I cast her a sidelong look, her face said she meant it, too.

  “You don’t have to stay here,” I said, and her face fell.

  In a cold voice, she said “okay” and walked out the door.

  I glared at the spot where she’d been sitting. No point in getting sentimental over some sneaky bitch who was just being nice to me so she could escape or catch me off guard.

  A few minutes later when I went downstairs, she and Pip were back on the couch, the bag of cheese balls tucked between them. She was feeding one to Pip one with orange-dyed fingers, although her delighted smile fell at the sight of me.

  I snatched the bag away.

  “Sorry,” she said.

  Handing it back to her, I waved my hand.

  “Don’t sweat it, princess.” I sat beside her. “Just didn’t peg you for…”

  Alice grinned.

  “Someone who eats cheese balls?”

  Grabbing one, I poked her nose with it and then tossed it into my mouth.

  “Well, yeah. Someone who eats anything that has more than 5 calories, actually.” />
  To this, Alice grabbed a handful of the bright orange poofs and threw them into her mouth. As her chipmunk cheeks struggled to chew their giant load, she mumbled, “I’ll have you know that the Pizza Palace guys down the street from my apartment know me by name by now.”

  We laughed, and after a prodigious amount of chewing and a big swallow, Alice reached into the bag. As she did, however, her wrist brushed the edge of the bag, and she jerked back, wincing.

  I glanced at the still-red welts on her wrists.

  “I don’t have any Tylenol, but I’ve got bourbon.” To her suspicious glance, I added, “For the pain.”

  Her forehead crinkled with irritation. Then she flopped her whole body back into the couch, almost making herself disappear into the cushions.

  “Oh, all right,” she said, casting me a weary look. “After the day I’ve just had, I could sure use a drink.”

  I went over to the cupboard and got out two tall glasses and my newly replenished bottle, a store brand knockoff that I loved.

  I plopped on the floor in front of the couch, and at the sight of the name on the bottle, Alice started giggling.

  “Jake Daniels—seriously?”

  “What? What’s wrong with a knockoff whiskey when it’s so well named?”

  We grinned at each other, and I poured her a drink.

  “Beggars can’t be choosers,” she said with a devilish grin. Then she drank half the glass in one gulp.

  “Wow. Looks like you really needed that thing,” I said approvingly before taking a deep drink of my own.

  Drinking the rest of hers in another long gulp, Alice nodded.

  “You have no idea.”

  “Yeah. I guess having my perfect wedding ruined would be a tad upsetting,” I said, and Alice’s face darkened.

  “To be honest, being kidnapped isn’t turning out to be much worse than if the wedding had gone through.”

  I stared at her, her lowered lids already shifting back to the bourbon and her lower lip stuck out in a pout. She was being serious.

  “Why marry the guy then?”