Ruined Wings

by Ashley Fontainne

  Without conscious thought, Callie had been slowly backing up. She didn’t realize how many steps she’d taken until another voice behind her said, “I’ll be damned; it’s another Novak looking to get high.”

  Glancing to the left, Callie froze when she noticed De’Shawn was only feet away, surrounded by three men who looked like they just stepped out of prison.

  Trapped between the group, Callie stiffened.

  “Chica ain’t never been high; just look at her. She’s one of those health nuts from the good side of town,” the man on De’Shawn’s right said.

  De’Shawn laughed. “You’re right, Juan. Haven’t you heard the news? Ol’ long legs here broke the state record in the women’s 1600 two weeks ago. You know, the same day her bro and dad became permanent stains on I-40?”

  “No wonder she’s got such a nice ass. A runner’s ass,” Juan said.

  Callie’s stomach juices were close to spewing all over the pavement. She forced the wave of nausea away.

  De’Shawn was only inches from her face, his breath foul and warm. “I bet I know why you’re here, Callie. You planned on making me pay for Colton’s death, right? Some snitch told you I was his dealer, huh? Oh, boo-hoo. The big, bad De’Shawn hurt your wimpy-ass brother, just like ol’ Reggie did, and the star athlete steps in to make things right. Too bad you didn’t pay more attention to the panty-waste while he was still alive.”

  The intense fear inside Callie’s mind switched to anger. Though she knew the situation was tenuous at best, Callie didn’t care. It was too late to run, and this was what she wanted to begin with—a confession on video. “I came here to tell you what a piece of shit I think you are, De’Shawn. You’re nothing but a washed-up athlete who turned into a worthless drug dealer selling poison to people with no remorse. I wanted you to know how devastated my mother and I are—”

  “Damn, she ain’t no ho, that’s for sure,” the man who smelled like skunk mumbled while walking away.

  “No, she’s just a stupid, stupid girl for coming over to this side of town,” De’Shawn said, his voice low, sinister.

  Callie realized the men had flanked her and the only way out was straight past De’Shawn. Gripping her phone, muscles itching to run as adrenaline spread throughout her body, Callie lunged. The quick movements momentarily stunned the others. Lowering her shoulder, she plowed into De’Shawn, nearly knocking him over.

  “Leave her alone!”

  Callie’s heart skipped two beats at the sound of Kevin’s voice.

  The rest happened so fast, Callie never had a chance to really digest it all. One minute she was running and the next, she was face down on the pavement, the heavy weight of a body on top of hers.

  “Get off her!” Kevin screamed.

  Then, a shot rang out at the same time a hand grabbed her hair and slammed her face into the hard pavement. Burning pain exploded in Callie’s head. Stars appeared as something hot and sticky ran down her face. She tried to scramble away but couldn’t move.

  “Make sure his body ain’t ever found,” De’Shawn yelled.

  “Sure thing, Mookie,” another answered.

  “Take her inside, and let’s show her what happens to nosy bitches when they try to mess with us. Destroy that phone,” De’Shawn hissed.

  Oh, God! Kevin! Why did you follow me? was the last thought Callie had before succumbing to the darkness.

  Jerking awake with such force she fell off the bed, Callie landed on the floor with a loud thump. Scrambling to her feet, brain still fuzzy and vision blurry from tears, she spun in a complete circle, ready to attack and kill anyone near her, especially the bastard who’d shot Kevin.

  Heart racing and mind spinning at full throttle, Callie’s shoulders sagged with relief as the sights and smells of her room brought her out of the funk. “God, it was just a dream!”

  A soft knock on the bedroom door made her jump.

  “Honey, you okay?”

  Wiping the tears from her face, Callie hid Colton’s journal and pad between the mattresses. “Yeah, just a bad dream. Sorry if I woke you up.”

  Callie stashed Colton’s things away just as her mother walked in and joined her on the bed. “I’m glad to hear you were at least getting some rest, though I’m sorry about the bad dream. They’re to be expected for a while. I’ve been suffering from them too. Want to tell me about it?”

  “Not really,” Callie lied.

  The truth was she did want to talk about it. Callie wanted to say a lot of things but worried her mother was still too fragile to hear all of her rambling thoughts. She’d pushed most of her other relationships to the back burner while she’d been in training, except her family and Kevin, leaving her with no close girlfriends to share or talk to; at least not any she really trusted. That never bothered her before—until now.

  “If you change your mind, I’m here—ready to listen. If you don’t want to talk to me about what you’re feeling, perhaps a counselor would be a better choice? After what we’ve been through, seeing one is a good idea. I could schedule us some visits in a flash. You know, an impartial stranger to vent to without worry of upsetting—”

  “No, Mom. I’ll be okay,” Callie interrupted. The thought of baring her inner thoughts and struggles to someone she didn’t know, a person only listening because they were getting paid to, made her feel weird. “I mean you can go but it’s not for me. I just...I wish I could sleep and not be plagued with nightmares. At least for a solid eight hours.”

  Making clucking noises with her tongue while studying Callie’s face, her mother said, “God, I’ve neglected you while I’ve been stuck in my own sorrow. I’m sorry, baby. You look like you need a good, home-cooked meal. For that matter, so do I. Hope there’s some food left downstairs to cook.”

  Callie rolled her eyes. “There’s plenty, Mom. The track team brought enough the day of the funeral to feed us for a month, remember?”

  “Actually, no. There’s been too much going on for me to think straight.”

  Callie reached for her mother’s hand and squeezed. “I know, Mom. Stop worrying. I’ve been drinking my protein shakes and eating light, just like I do while training. I’m fine. No need to coddle me. I’m not a little kid anymore.”

  “No, you certainly aren’t little anymore, but I still say you need food. Real food. I’m feeling better now, so I’m going to cook dinner for us both.”

  “It’s after ten, Mom! It’s not healthy to eat this late.”

  “You aren’t training anymore, honey, and basically starving yourself isn’t healthy, either. No arguments, Callie. Please? Let me do this. Let me take care of my last…”

  Her mother stopped in mid-sentence as tears clogged her throat. Callie felt like an ass. “Okay, Mom. Okay. You win. Downstairs are plenty of the biggest, calorie-riddled, artery-clogging southern dishes to reheat. I’ll eat some, but only if I temper it with a protein drink. Deal?”

  Beaming, her mother stood, clapping like an excited little girl. “Deal! Yum!”

  Watching her mother dash from the bedroom with a bit of the former zest for life sparkling across her face made Callie smile. “God, when will this get any easier?” Callie mumbled under her breath. “No, stop that! The road ahead will be painful and tough, but we’ll make it.”

  She waited until the sounds of dishes rattling in the kitchen drifted upstairs before calling Kevin.

  “So much for getting some rest,” Kevin teased after answering on the third ring. “I hope your insomnia isn’t because of our argument earlier.”

  “No, it’s not you. Promise.”

  “Good. I’m sorry if what I said upset you, but I meant it. Your plan to go visit De’Shawn was a disaster in the making.”

  A shiver of fear danced up Callie’s spine. The dream was part their real-life conversation, up to the point of Kevin leaving after convincing Callie to stop wallowing in a pit of dark revenge. The rest was her mind’s interpretation of what might have happened h
ad she followed through with her plans. She changed the subject. “If I keep having nightmares, I’ll never sleep again.”

  “Isn’t that a line from a movie or something?”

  Callie grinned. “Good job you non-horror film fan! Bonus points if you can name the movie.”

  “Not fair, CeeCee. You know I don’t watch those kinds of flicks. I like movies about things that really happen, not fictional blood and gore with superhuman monsters that never seem to die.”

  “Those are the best kinds! They let your mind take a break from reality.”

  “How about I sneak over later? I could be a real, live dreamcatcher. We’ll make up like couples are supposed to by getting naked.”

  Hesitating for a second, Callie considered the offer. Their intimate relationship started six months prior, though during the last two months of intense training, Callie had spurned Kevin’s numerous advances. After the awful nightmare of him dying, it was tempting. Snuggling up to and falling asleep in Kevin’s arms would be wonderful, yet the compulsion to spend some time with her mother won out. “Lovely idea, but I’ll pass. Mom’s coming around and actually downstairs fixing dinner. I need to spend some time with her now that’s not barred out, okay?”

  “Cut her some slack, CeeCee. She’s been through a lot, too. It’s only been what—two years—since her parents died while at the lake?”

  “We all experienced grief after Gram and Grampa drowned. Dad started drinking more and Mom became friends with Xanax. It was less than six months later when Colton got beat up, so maybe all of that contributed to his decision to use harder drugs. I don’t know. What I do know is I didn’t go down that path.”

  “No, you didn’t. Instead, you channeled all your energy into running. It became your—” Kevin paused and cleared his throat. “This will give you two a chance to talk about school.”

  “Kevin, don’t go—”

  “Too late, I went there. You haven’t told her you turned down Fayetteville yet, have you?”

  “No, but it won’t be a big deal when I tell her about UALR. I finally had a chance to look through the stack of mail a few hours ago. The offer letter came today.”

  “You accepted?”

  “Yep. I signed the dotted line less than three hours ago. I’ll mail it back to them tomorrow.”

  “That’s going to put a major crimp in our ability to see each other. Russellville is a lot closer to Fayetteville. We’ll be hours apart if you stay in Little Rock. I still think you should talk to Coach Patterson and see if he can—”

  “No,” Callie interrupted. “I’ve already made up my mind. He can just find another star athlete to mentor for his raise. I’m all Mom has left now. You know neither of my parents had any siblings.”

  “Yes, I know. And your dad was raised in foster care. I remember. Just the two of you—I get that.”

  “How in the world could I study and concentrate on training if all I did was worry about her, Kevin? Fayetteville is out of the question. Enough of this topic. What are you doing tomorrow?”

  “Okay, okay. I’ll stop beating that dead horse. We’ll figure out a plan to see each other in college. I’ll just put a lot of miles on my car. So, what am I doing tomorrow? Well, whatever you are, baby. We’ve got one week to spend every day together before I start my summer job. I’m glad to be a runner at Glover & Glover, but I feel bad now with what’s happened. Maybe I could try and get you hired on as a runner too?”

  Callie smiled as a rush of love flowed through her body. Kevin was always looking out for her best interests. “You’re so sweet, but I think you’ve forgotten I’ll need a vehicle to run errands. I doubt we can tag-team it.”

  “Wow, I must be tired. You’re right. Well, maybe they have an opening for a receptionist or something. I’ll check.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Okay, so really, what are we doing tomorrow? Movie? Hiking? Lake day?”

  “You get to hold my hand while I get a tattoo.”

  Kevin burst out laughing. “You? A tattoo? That’s hysterical. Seriously, what are we doing?”

  Bristling, Callie countered, “I’ve wanted one for a long time.”

  “Uh-huh. I’ve known you for years and you’ve never once said anything about getting inked. In fact, you always said people with—”

  “Yes, I’m aware of what I said out loud. It’s a different story inside my private thoughts. I said those things because I never could figure out what design I wanted. Now, I have the perfect one in mind. It’s a butterfly Colton painted.”

  “Your mom’s okay with this?” Kevin asked.

  “What I do to my body is none of her business,” Callie answered, hoping she didn’t sound as annoyed as she felt. Though she loved him, Kevin was quite pushy at times. His judgmental tone and sarcasm wasn’t helping, either.

  “Not according to the law. You have to be eighteen to get a tat or have parental consent.”

  Callie snorted. “You and your obsession with following every little rule!”

  “That’s why I'll make an amazing lawyer,” Kevin teased.

  “I swear, sometimes you act just like an old man. Not to worry: I’ve got money and it speaks louder than ID.”

  Chuckling, Kevin added, “I forgot I’m chatting with the girl who never takes no for an answer. So, where are you planning this piece of art to be on your body? Fair warning: if you say the lower back, I’m breaking up with you. Don’t want my future wife looking like a pole dancer.”

  “No tramp stamp for me, baby. Top of my foot, thank you very much. Uh-oh, I smell something burning so I guess I should go help Mom.”

  “How’s she holding up?”

  “Best as can be expected, I guess. Like me. Seriously, I need to go before she burns the house down. Come over around noon, okay?”

  “Can I bring my phone? I’ve got to video this,” Kevin retorted, laughing.

  “Fine, but no sharing online.”

  “You are such a weirdo! All the videos of you running are what caught the attention of scouts, remember?”

  “True,” Callie muttered, hating when Kevin was right.

  “Hey, speaking of online, you should probably post some type of thanks for all the comments. The last I counted, there were 345 posts of sympathy on your profile; even more on Colton’s.”

  “Will you? Do it for me, I mean? You know how much I hate that kind of crap.”

  “It still baffles me why you have a smartphone yet never use it to its full potential.”

  “Not true. I use it to text and video chat with you plus the running app. I never got into the whole digital age or the weird obsession to share my personal life with the entire world. This is not news to you.”

  “Another reason you keep me around—my media and tech savviness,” Kevin laughed. “You know it. I’ll make it nice and sweet. Genuine CeeCee.”

  “Thank you, babe. I gotta go. Please don’t be late tomorrow. I love you.”

  “Always and forever,” Kevin replied.

  After disconnecting the call, Callie made her way downstairs, smiling as the smell of burnt food and the sound of humming wafted from the kitchen.

  “Mom? Need some help?”

  “I think I ruined the broccoli casserole but everything else is almost ready, plus I made you a protein smoothie. Here.”

  Taking the shake from her mother’s hands, Callie gulped down nearly half in one long swig. The amount of food piled onto the table was enough to feed ten people. “Mmm, best one yet, Mom. Thank you.”

  They sat at the table and talked for nearly forty minutes about safe topics. Things like school, track, scholarships, Kevin, her mother entering the workforce again, and Callie’s plans for the summer. They even discussed the pros and cons of getting another dog since Benny, their enormous St. Bernard, died three months prior and no one had seemed ready to get a new puppy. The only subject not mentioned was the incredibly painful losses of the two Novak men.

 
Though a tad irritated the decision to turn down Fayetteville was made without discussing it first, her mother seemed relieved when Callie told her about UALR and being only twenty minutes away.

  A sense of warm peace settled over Callie’s chest, spreading to her limbs. Listening to her mother gab, bouncing from one subject to the next, normally drove her crazy.

  Tonight was different for some reason. A pleasant fuzziness engulfed her from head to toe. Suddenly, she was exhausted, barely able to keep her eyes open.

  “Thanks for the dinner, Mom. It was wonderful. Leave the dishes and I’ll get them tomorrow. I’m heading to bed before I pass out in the mashed potatoes.”

  With a big smile and warm hug, her mother shooed Callie toward the stairs. “No face-planting into food tonight, though it would be funny. A good night’s rest is just what the doctor ordered. See you in the morning.”

  While climbing the stairs, Callie wondered why her legs felt so weird. By the time she reached the door to her room, her vision seemed off. Blinking to clear her head, she worried about how much damage she’d done to her brain from lack of sleep. In the past week, she’d slept maybe a total of ten hours. Callie stumbled toward the bed.

  The second her head touched the pillow, overwhelming, unexplainable calmness enveloped her mind. The constant buzzing of thoughts and worries seemed quiet, as though they, too, were ready for a break.

  “Everything’s gonna be okay. Not normal, but okay,” Callie whispered, smiling at the funny way the words came out. “Yep, everything’s gonna be okay now.”

  Bright beams of sunlight burned through her eyelids, warming Callie’s exposed skin. Squinting, she shielded her face and rolled over, gasping after noticing the time.

  “Eleven thirty! Crap! Why am I still in bed?”

  Flinging the sheet off, Callie raced to the bathroom, in a rush to get cleaned up and dressed before Kevin arrived. While showering, it dawned on her she felt revived and fresh, plus she had no memory of any nightmares, only pleasant dreams of her and Colton playing together as children. It was the first time since the awful day on the track she felt somewhat connected to her brother again.