Men in Control: Special pack: The Smith Brothers Series
Page 6
Angelo slides in the room and darts his eyes between me and Brad. There’s a bit of smugness there, almost as if he can sense that his plan has worked, and my career has been advanced. Or at least it will be once this week is over. Maybe the brothers have discussed what’s going to happen and he does know.
“I just wanted to see how you guys are doing.” Angelo grins. “And I also need to talk to you, Brad.”
“Oh, well I can go and make some coffees.” I leap up from my seat, needing to get away from this weird atmosphere. “Give you some time to talk or whatever.”
I race from the room before either of the men can say anything, and I practically run towards the break room to use the coffee machine. I keep my eyes downwards so no one can talk to me as I go. I don’t know if I’m in the right frame of mind to have a serious conversation with anyone right now. My heart is in my mouth, my stomach flipping over, my breath struggling to get out. Frankly, I’m a mess and I don’t know why.
I grab out my cell phone and text Ruby. I need her damn advice right now.
Tami: Ruby, help me! I don’t know what the hell is going on xx
Ruby: Yeah, gunna need a bit more context than that… xx
Tami: I think me and Brad might have bonded a little bit xx
Ruby: Ooh, you and the hot boss? That’s exciting. Any passion? xx
Tami: I don’t know. I have to be honest, I’m really not sure xx
Ruby: I knew it! I could sense that there was something there xx
Tami: So, what the hell do I do about it? xx
Ruby: Spend as much time with him as you can. Get to know him better. Try to see what this chemistry could be. After all, he might be the one to finally make a woman out of you xx
Tami: Will you stop it? The man is older and my boss xx
Ruby: So what? Just give him a try. You don’t know what will happen xx
Tami: I could lose my job… xx
Ruby: Or you could land the man of your dreams xx
I don’t know what to think about this. Could Brad be the man of my dreams? It seems very unlikely, but there really does seem to be something in the air. Listening to that song together and learning that we have something in common has unlocked something. I think it started to grow a little yesterday, and today it’s on fire.
Do I need to do what Ruby has advised and try to spend more time with him? It could be good for me. Even if it doesn’t end up that Brad is the man of my dreams, I might learn more about what I like. Ever since Daniel, I have been a bit flat. I do need some excitement. This could be a good start.
I stir the coffees carefully, spending time just thinking while I make these drinks right. I’m going to find some work to try and stay a bit late tonight, just to give him a chance. I might have done all the main filing but there are still stacks of paper in Brad’s office that could be sorted out. I can make it my business to do that.
God, the idea of being alone with Brad in this big office sends a shiver tearing up and down my spine. It’s utterly terrifying but exhilarating as well. I don’t know if this is exactly how it’s supposed to feel but since it’s unlike anything I have ever felt before it has to mean something.
The sounds of the bitchy receptionists entering the break room is enough to get my ass in gear and back to the office. As scary as it is to face Brad once more, it’s even worse being stuck with Tawny and Beth. Oliver’s assistant, Amy too, if she’s with them. They are the sort of people that I wouldn’t ever associate myself with so I’m not going to start now when I’m all stirred up already. I don’t think my self-esteem can take it.
“Here we are.” I hand a coffee to Angelo who thanks me quickly, sending a wink my way as he does.
“And here is yours…”
As Brad takes his drink, his fingers graze against mine and electricity bolts through me. I gasp, unable to stop the sound from flying out of my mouth. He looks just as stunned as me. He definitely felt it. Shit, everything else melts away, even Angelo. It’s just me and him looking at one another with all kinds of feelings swirling round us. I don’t know how we have gone all the way from hate to this, but I need to find out. I didn’t even like him at first, I thought he was arrogant and miserable. How am I all emotional and full of lust only a couple of days later? After just a few conversations? Is that even normal? Do other people go through this?
Yep, I’m staying late tonight. I’m working out what the hell this is. I won’t be able to focus again until I do.
Chapter 4 – Brad – Wednesday
“There we are.” Tami shakes her long pale blonde hair out behind her and smiles happily at me. She really is beautiful; Angelo was right about that. Sometimes, I catch her in the corner of my eye, and she takes my breath away. Especially when I think about the electricity that comes when we touch. “All organized. I’m glad I stayed late to get this finished because then I can sort the rest out before I have to leave you at the end of the week.”
“I can’t believe it’s Wednesday already,” I reply honestly. “It’s gone so fast. You’ve done so much for me!”
I gulp down the thick ball of emotion that lodges in my throat and avert my eyes, so I don’t have to look at her while I get all weird out by this. Tami Johnson is twenty two years old, far too young for me, I still stand by the original argument I gave Angelo when I told him that she couldn’t possibly be perfect for me, but…
God, there’s the big ‘but’ which makes it so hard. The ‘but’ I definitely can’t admit to anyone because it scares me how right my brother might be. Despite her being so much younger than me, we have a lot in common. Tami understands some of my trauma, which most people don’t. Those who have been lucky enough not to lose a parent don’t get the hole it leaves behind. The void that no one else can fill, no matter how hard they try. We also have the same taste in movies, books, and music, which is incredible. The same sense of humor also. The more we share a small talk, the more we get to know about one another which we have been doing today, the more I realize that we share a lot and we could have a really good time together… if things were different.
She’s exactly the sort of person that I would consider long term with… but she’s just too young. At twenty two years old, I didn’t know myself at all. I was wild and stupid, I needed to make mistakes. I was a completely different person to who I am now. She is the same. As she grows, she will change, so she can’t be the one for me. She isn’t ‘perfect’ as Angelo described. She never can be, can she? Who knows who she will become?
“I er, might bring in a bottle of wine to celebrate on Friday,” I say with a much too bright false grin. “Since you have been such a good assistant this week, I think you deserve a drink.”
“Drinking on the job?” She cocks a playful eyebrow at me. Her smile is heart stoppingly beautiful. She is unlike anyone else. “I never would have thought that about you. I always thought you were much too serious.”
Serious? Does she really think that? Does everyone think that? I suppose I do come across that way.
“Well, I was thinking on a drink after work. We need to discuss your promotion as well.”
“We do?” Her eyes light up. She mustn’t have thought that I really meant it.
“We do. I will have to tell Angelo that he needs to hire someone new, but I don’t think he’s going to be too mad about that. He has a lot of belief in you, you know?” Same as me. Actually, probably me more.
“Well, that’s really nice to hear. I’m glad Angelo thinks that about me.” She looks so chuffed with herself.
I can’t let him have all the glory. I want some of that smile. “Well, I think it too!”
She glances behind herself, almost as if she’s checking to see if there’s anyone else in the building. There isn’t. The last person left about ten minutes ago, when I told Tami to get out of here as well, but she insisted that she needed to just finish up the filing. Almost as if she wanted to stay behind for another reason.
As Tami clocks onto the fact th
at we’re alone, I see a shift inside of her. She isn’t uncomfortable, in fact more anticipating what’s going to happen next. That’s something neither of us know since this is the first time we have been by ourselves. I’m aware that nothing should happen, but that doesn’t stop my craving…
No, stop it, I warn myself as I run my eyes up and down her, almost devouring her beauty with my gaze. Just because she’s lovely, doesn’t mean she’s on offer. I have already decided that she’s too young.
I just need to find a reason to put myself off of her. To ensure that it can’t ever happen.
“I er, I’m sure that you won’t want to celebrate with me for long though on Friday. Your boyfriend…”
“I don’t have a boyfriend,” she interjects much too quickly. “I’m all by myself.” When I don’t reply, mostly because her answer has left me a little breathless. “But I do have a friend’s engagement party to get to, so I suppose I will have to leave at some point. But I can definitely stay for a drink or two. Talk about my future.”
“You have a friend getting engaged?” I ask, stunned to the core. “At your age? Isn’t that a bit crazy?”
“Why would that be crazy? I have a couple of friends from college who are already planning the wedding.”
“But you’re in your early twenties. Isn’t there a lot more living you want to do first?”
“I’m not that young,” she snaps wryly. “Certainly not stupid. When you know, you know. Not everyone needs to sleep around to know who they want to be with. Lots of people get married at my age.”
When you know, you know… is this some kind of code for me? Does she want me to read into it, because I am. I’m reading everything that I probably shouldn’t be, imagining that she wants me to just grab her and kiss her already. There isn’t desire in her eyes, I’m just putting it there because I want to see it. That isn’t lust, it’s just… a look. It means nothing. And the age thing… she’s just defending her friend. Not suggesting that me and her could be together no matter how young she is. I need to just sort myself out.
“Right, well I suppose I should get going.” She grabs her bag. “Get an early night…”
I don’t know what comes over me, I think I’ve lost my mind. All I know is that I’ve grabbed her waist, I’m holding her close to my body, and I’m staring deep into her eyes really seeing the lust now. It’s definitely there, I’m not imagining it. Tami is attracted to me, and I’m filled with intoxicating sensations for her. I want her in a way I haven’t ever wanted someone before. This isn’t just the anticipation that comes before a one night stand, this is deeper, I’m drowning in it and all of her, fills my lungs. I breathe her in and she’s delicious…
“What are you doing?” she whispers softly, her eyes darting between mine, trying to read me.
“I don’t know,” I admit just as quietly. “But it feels right, don’t you think?”
She gives me just the slightest nod, the green light to go forward, so I crash my lips against hers and kiss her, bringing all of my fantasies to life. Even though I know this is all kinds of wrong, that she’s too young and she works for me, it feels incredible. Fireworks explode deep inside of me, every fiber of me screams out for her. I cup my hands on her cheeks and keep her face there as the kiss deepens, my tongue exploring her mouth, her hips rolling against mine. This is moving quickly, any minute now we could have one another’s clothes off, this is intense and powerful in the best way possible. I just want to go along for the ride no matter what happens…
“Sorry, I…” Suddenly she pulls back, shattering the magic of the moment. “I better…”
The color drains from her face, she’s shaken and terrified, looking at me like I have lost my mind. Maybe I have, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting her. I try to reach out and touch her, to bring her back to me because I already miss her like crazy. For a moment, my body felt whole with her pressed up against me. Now I’m empty. I’m lost, floating aimlessly with no purpose. I really need her back here.
But she isn’t coming back. Not a chance. Tami backs towards the door with her bag gripped tightly to herself and she runs. Her shoes clip clop along the floor as she vanishes taking all hope and wonderful feeling with her.
“No, wait!” I call loudly, but it doesn’t make any difference. It’s too late. She’s gone.
Fuck. My eyes hit the ground and sorrow floods me. What the hell have I done? Why has she run away?
A door bangs and it makes me jump. Excitement flows as I think it’s Tami coming back for me… but then I spot Oliver’s face, and everything drains away. Of course she isn’t back here! She doesn’t want me.
“You’re still here?” Oliver asks. “Again? What is going on with you?”
“Oh, I’m… just headed out,” I reply with a fake smile. “I was just finishing up.”
“Again? Is everything alright with you, Brad? Is there something that I should know?”
I could tell him and get some real advice here. Oliver might not have much of a love life himself at the moment, as far as I know, but he could give me some real insight into this. But what if he yells at me because Angelo was right, and Tami is perfect for me… yet I’ve just fucked it up by moving much too quickly.
“Er, nothing.” I will tell him when I know what is going on. “I’m okay. Just busy, that’s all.”
“Right, well I’m leaving. Are you coming?” I nod, barely able to speak. “Come on then.”
Oliver talks as we leave, filling in all the silence with whatever he can think of. I answer ever so often when it seems appropriate, but really, I’m lost in my own thoughts. My lips are still tingling from that amazing kiss. I want more. I still want to be able to hold her, but she didn’t, so I need to be much more careful. I can’t let that show when we’re together next. I really don’t want to freak her out.
“Did you hear that?” I suddenly jump, spinning around. “Am I losing my mind here?”
“What did you hear?” Oliver gives me a curious look. “I didn’t hear anything.”
I touch the back of my neck where my hairs are standing on edge. I definitely have a weird feeling like I’m being watched… but since Oliver seems just fine, I have to assume that it’s in my head. I’m going crazy because I’m so lost in thoughts about Tami. What the hell am I going to do with myself?
“Sorry, I just thought that I heard footsteps, that’s all.” I wobble my head. “I don’t know.”
“I didn’t hear anything,” Oliver replies. “I think it’s been too many late nights for you.”
“Ironically, it hasn’t been,” I try to laugh. “I’ve been behaving for a change.”
“Well, maybe that’s a problem,” Oliver laughs. “Maybe you need to get some.”
God, if only he knew how much I needed it. But it really feels like I only need it from one person, and that’s a problem. Tami made it clear by running away that this isn’t what she wants as well so I need to get that idea out of my head. Maybe another one night stand is what I need, just to cleanse my pallet.
Chapter 5 – Tami – Thursday
I can hardly get my feet through the door because I’m so terrified. This is terrible, I’ve made such a mess of things, and now I need to try and work out how I’m going to face the music. Last night, I decided to stay behind to see if I had feelings for Brad, and it ended up in us kissing. Like, seriously kissing, all passionate and everything. It was amazing, the hottest thing ever… but I had to stop it. I can’t kiss Brad Smith even if there are feelings in the way. I don’t know how I let Ruby talk me into that. I’ve dipped my pen in the company ink and now I don’t know how to deal with it. I don’t know how to face Brad.
“Hey, Tami.” Angelo’s voice rings out behind me like a warm and enveloping hug. “What are you doing loitering out here like a hoodlum? Just because I’m not your boss anymore, doesn’t mean you get to slack off.”
“Angelo!” I grab his arm desperately, afraid to let him go. “I need to talk to you.”
“Is everything okay?” He narrows his eyes and examines me closely. Not that he’ll be able to guess what’s going on. It’s too wild. “You look kinda freaked out. Has something happened?”
“I don’t know how to answer that. I just need to have a word with you.”
“Right. Okay. Come into my office where we can have a proper talk.”
My whole body shakes as I follow behind Angelo. My eyes hit the floor, so I don’t have to look and talk to anyone. Least of all Brad. He must be here. He’s in before me every single day so I don’t see why today will be any different. I can’t even begin to think about seeing him until I’ve had this conversation.
Not that I have even the slightest clue what I’m going to say. How do I even begin to explain this?
“Right, okay.” Once we’re alone, Angelo closes the door behind him, and he takes a seat. “What’s happening?”
I sit opposite him, a place that I have been a million times before, but never like this, and I sigh. I really don’t want to end up losing my job because of this and there’s no telling how Angelo will react. He’s a great guy and he would probably be really sympathetic, but this involves his brother and the Smith family are tight.
“I… I want to come back and work for you, Angelo. I miss being on the creative team.”
“But Brad needs you,” he shoots back quickly. “You’ve been helping him out a lot.”
“I know, but I think I’m done. I can’t see what else I can do for him really.”
Angelo knows that I’m lying. We both do. But I really need him to just buy the lie. Just for now.
“Okay, is there any other reason that you want to share with me? We can talk about anything, okay?”
I shrug rapidly. “There’s nothing else, that’s the only reason. I just want to get back to my real job.”
“You can.” Relief fills me up… but only for a moment. “On Monday though. For now, Brad needs you.”
“He really doesn’t though. He has everything more than under control. It’ll be fine.”