by Brenda Ford
I kiss and hold her one more time, but I can’t ignore the determination surging through me. I can’t leave here now without answers. I absolutely have to see what I can do to help my brother out.
“Hey, you okay?” Gary asks as I open the door to backstage. “I think Rachel is out there…”
“Oh, I know. I have already seen her. I just wanted to have a chat with Alex if he’s still here.”
“He isn’t out at the bar already?” I shake my head. “Huh, I could have sworn I saw him going.”
“I’ll just check his dressing room. See if he’s there. If you don’t mind?” Gary shrugs and smiles. A typical non-committal Gary answer. “Okay, well thanks. And I’m sure I will see you in a bit.”
I pat Gary on the shoulder before continuing to find Alex. I come across a couple of security guards who are dealing with fans trying to get Alex alone, which is silly because he’ll be out at the bar soon and they can get turned down by him then, but because they all know exactly who I am, I get through with ease.
“Alex?” I bang on his door a couple of times. “Alex, you there?”
I get nothing back, just a deathly silence. Normally, this would be enough to send me away. I’d assume that he’s either left the bar completely or I will simply come across him when he’s ready, but this isn’t a normal time. I have a feeling that Alex is hiding away from me and the rest of the crowd which isn’t good enough. Alex never hides away from people, that simply isn’t his style. But then he isn’t himself at the moment.
“Alex? It’s Angelo, I just want to talk to you, so I’m coming inside.”
I shove the door open, not giving him a chance to turn me away. Immediately, I’m struck with a sight that shows me why Alex wasn’t answering me. Maybe I should have trusted my initial instinct and walked away.
“Sorry.” A heat rises rapidly through my body. “I didn’t realize that you had company.”
The naked woman wrapped around him stops bouncing up and down in his lap, halting both of their pleasure for just a moment. I slide backwards towards the door, needing to make my escape before I humiliate any of us even further, but somehow, I don’t quite make it outside. Something strikes me, a feeling that everything isn’t quite what I thought. Something isn’t right here. There is a familiarity to Alex’s companion.
No. I shake my head hard as realization hits me. No, no, no, this can’t be.
My blood is cold as ice, I blink a few times to work out if this is a nightmare or not. There’s no way this can be happening, it just can’t. Of all the things… of all the betrayal… no way. He wouldn’t do this to me.
“You can shut your mouth,” Mandy snaps as she extracts herself from Alex. “This can’t be a shock.”
“Can’t be a shock?” I splutter back. “How can this not be a shock? Of course, it is.”
I want to run. My brain is screaming at me to do so. But my limbs won’t react. They completely refuse to. It’s almost as if my body wants to torture me that little bit more by leaving me here.
“I thought you knew.” Mandy’s hands fling on to her hips. Her very naked hips on her utterly naked body that was fucking my twin brother only moments before. We might not look alike, but that’s completely irrelevant as far as I am concerned. She’s screwing around with Alex, proving that nothing we ever shared meant anything. “You said that you knew I was cheating on you. I assumed you knew that meant with Alex.”
All the wind zaps from my body. I double over as a knife stabs in to my stomach. Or at least, that’s how it feels anyway. This isn’t just happening right now. This has been happening. God knows how long for. Perhaps that’s why Alex has been so weird recently, because he knew that he couldn’t hide this forever.
“I have nothing to say to you,” I growl to Mandy. I can’t even stand to look at her anymore.
“I noticed. I guess that from the way that you have been ignoring my messages.”
“You are joking, right? Mandy, you can’t seriously be talking about the messages when you begged me to get back with you after you just admitted to cheating on me with my brother? Uh uh. No way. I can’t take that. I can’t even believe that you’re still speaking to me. I am so done with you. No, it’s Alex I want to speak to.”
But as I stare at my brother fasting his trousers up to cover his shame, despite the fact that it’s far too late for that already, I wonder what I’m supposed to say to him. His betrayal is so much worse than Mandy’s. A million times more hurtful. Our bond is supposed to be something that is so much stronger. Unbreakable. He is supposed to be the one person in the world that I can talk to about anything, that I can trust with my life, heart, and soul.
“How could you do this to me?” I rasp out desperately. “I don’t understand.”
Chapter 25 – Rachel
I check my watch for what feels like the millionth time, my heart racing as I do. I so want to be a fly on the wall in Alex’s dressing room right now to see what’s going on. It’s killing me not to know how they’re getting on. Alex is a great friend of mine and Angelo is the man that I love. I don’t want anything bad to happen between them. But I suppose the tension, the horrible anticipation just waiting for the secret to come out, is destroying me as well. I don’t know what the best outcome for this conversation is.
“Gary.” I grab my band mate and tug him to me away from a guy I assume is his friend. “Where’s Alex?”
“I’m not his keeper.” He shakes me off, irritated. “I don’t know where he is, and since he keeps screwing things up at the moment, I don’t think I want to know. He’s doing my head in. He needs to get his act together.”
I roll my eyes. “I know you love the band, Gary, but sometimes people have other stuff going on…”
“You don’t bring your personal life into work at any job. This shouldn’t be any different.”
“Right, okay, but I think you should just try having a little more sympathy.”
“He’s back stage,” Gary interrupts. “Or he was the last time I saw him. Angelo was going to speak to him. It looked pretty serious, so I’m sure it’s still happening now. I wouldn’t interrupt if I were you. Especially if he’s going to talk about his shitty mood and behavior. Someone needs to kick him up the ass.”
“That’s was a great chat, Gary,” I shoot back sarcastically. “Thanks for that.”
“What do you want me to say? You want me to kiss his feet like everyone else does? No, he just needs to snap out of it. We have some stuff happening for us now, you know that. But if Alex can’t hold his shit together then we are all going to lose it all. You do understand that means you as well, don’t you, Rachel?”
I don’t intend to even dignify that with an answer, so I spin on my heels and leave Gary behind. I do appreciate his position in the band. Not only is he a kick ass bass player, but he keeps on top of the managerial stuff as well, but every now and again his attitude pisses me off. It’s like he expects us all to not be human. Not to have emotions and other stuff going on. The band is most of my life, but it can’t be all of it.
I push the door back stage open and stomp through the hallways, taking my frustration out on the floor. It might not do anything to improve my mood, but I can’t stop myself regardless. I nod hello to everyone I pass who sees me, but I suppose it’s obvious from my body language that I don’t want to be disturbed. Well, good. It’s better for no one to speak to me because I don’t know what I would say.
“Fuck you!” I hear someone shriek down the hallway. My heart skips a beat. If I thought that I was angry then this person must be losing their damn mind. Something bad is happening here. “Go to hell.”
“Please don’t be Angelo,” I beg quietly as I pick up the pace. “Please God don’t be him.”
But it’s a pointless prayer really because I would know that voice anywhere. I might not have heard that sheer rage before, but it doesn’t mean I don’t know that it’s him. The chat with Alex mustn’t be going well.
“Oh shit.”
I don’t even need to get to Alex’s dressing room to see the scuffle. It’s spilled out into the hallway and it seems to be bloody already. Alex has hold of his nose, his fingers turning red as blood bursts through his fingers, and Angelo has a shred right across his tee shirt. This is bad. Real bad. “Guy’s stop this.”
Before I can run to them, Mandy pushes past them both, pulling her own top down over herself, revealing an expression of sheer fury. That face combined with her inside out top really doesn’t match. I could laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation if this wasn’t so bad, particularly when she shoots an evil look my way as she stalks away. She created this whole mess by screwing around with two brothers, and now that it’s all come to a head, she’s running away rather than facing the consequences. I can’t say that I’m surprised.
As she turns the corner, I notice her cell phone coming out. Probably to call the next guy on her list. I can’t imagine someone like Mandy not always having a backup plan in case things go wrong.
“You wrecked everything,” Angelo yells while swinging his fist once more. He connects with Alex’s cheek, but only slightly as he ducks out the way. The wall gets the brunt of the punch. “I fucking hate you.”
“I love her!” Alex’s excuse sounds pathetic as he yells it loudly. “I wouldn’t have gone anywhere near her otherwise. I wouldn’t ever want to hurt you or risk what we have. I just… I couldn’t help myself.”
“That is utter bullshit.” Angelo doesn’t want to hear any of it. “Fuck you, Alex. You lied to me. I don’t know how long for, but you lied to me. You betrayed me; don’t you get that? Don’t you understand what you have done? You should have told me. You shouldn’t have gone anywhere near her… there are so many better ways that you could have dealt with things. I mean, I am your brother. Not just some guy. This is unbelievable.”
Nope, it really isn’t a relief to have the truth out. This is only going to get uglier before it gets better.
That theory is instantly proven right when Angelo leaps at Alex like a damn animal. I know this fight isn’t really about Mandy, I’m sure that Angelo is over her by now – I desperately hope anyway – I think that this is more about their relationship, but it’s still a bit of a sting to see him acting like this. It isn’t him. Sure, Alex is hitting his brother back, but that’s more in self-defense than anything else. Angelo is just attacking.
“Stop!” I scream while running forwards. I can’t just stand here and let this happen. “Please, stop.”
I try to get in the middle of them both to tear them apart before someone ends up getting seriously hurt, but they won’t let me. The pair of them are so focused on one another I don’t even think they know I’m here. I attempt to get my fingers in between them to get them apart for just a moment to get them to think straight, but it won’t happen. I just keep getting knocked back over and over as they scrap and fight like crazy.
“You are a fucking asshole,” Angelo growls in between punches and what I think is a kick.
“You know I wouldn’t…” Alex tries. “I wouldn’t if I didn’t feel so strongly….”
“You have no right to feel strongly. For an ex or a current girlfriend.”
From the next punch, blood flies off Angelo’s hand and splatters across my face. Even when I cry out in disgust, none of them notice I’m there. This is starting to get ridiculous. One of them is going to kill the other.
“Gary!” I scream out, running back into the bar. “Gary, I need you. It’s bad.”
I only really want the attention of one person, but my screaming combined with the audible yelling which has now got so loud everyone can hear them drags everyone back stage. I can’t do a damn thing to stop the stampeding crowd. I guess this will either stop the guys because they won’t have a choice, or it will get worse.
“I’m going to call the cops,” the bar maid calls to me. “Stop the fight.”
I try to signal to her not to do so because that’s the last thing we need, but she either doesn’t listen to me or she chooses to ignore me, and she turns to use the phone. Fuck, now I really need to end this fight.
“Police!” I yell, trying to be heard over the eager sounds of the crowd. “The police are coming.”
I have to scream out a few more times to get anyone to hear me. Finally, someone catches on to what I’m saying, and they yell the message forwards, causing other people to shout it too. I breathe a sigh of relief and pray silently that this will be enough to pull Angelo and Alex apart, ending this craziness.
Perhaps it’s good that Mandy is a coward and she has run. Now I just hope she stays away. She’s caused enough damage. The guys really don’t need her back again. Neither of them.
A cold breeze sends a shiver down my spine as I watch the police pile a bloody Alex and a rage filled Angelo into separate police cars to arrest them. I can only assume that they were so involved in the fight they didn’t even realize that the cops were coming. I tried and failed to stop them from getting in to trouble.
I stare at Alex who has his head hung low in the back of his police car. I can’t help it. My heart goes out to him. I feel bad for him because he didn’t mean to get himself in this situation. Sure, there are many ways that he could have done things differently, but love makes people do crazy things. I know that myself. Now, he’s lost it all through his stupidity. Mandy, Angelo, and probably the rest of the Smith brothers. Who knows how the rest of them are going to react? It will definitely get crazy for a while with all kinds of rows. What a mess.
Then my eyes travel over to Angelo. His eyes lock with mine and I see the mask of anger melt away. He looks scared and hurt, like a small boy who has been hurt badly. I wish more than anything that I could hug him and hold him to my chest, to comfort him through the shock and pain. This is why I didn’t want to be the one to tell him. I didn’t want him to have that look on his face because of me. Then again, this isn’t exactly better.
“I’m sorry,” he mouths sadly to me, his eyes filled with agony. I don’t know what he’s got to apologize to me about, but I nod and accept it anyway just because it seems that’s what he needs right now.
As the cars eventually pull away and the boys get taken to the police station where who knows what will happen to the pair of them, I break away from the crowds and start to move away. There isn’t anything that I can do here now, it’s better for me to just go home and wait. While I walk, I decide to fire off a message to Oliver just to let him know what has happened. This is an issue for the Smith brothers to deal with now.
I guess I don’t really know my place in any of this now. I don’t know what Angelo will want to do from here. This whole incident might be too much for him, just like Sheri warned me it would be, and he might want to pull away from me for a while. Or even forever because I might remind him of all of this.
“Perhaps I should have just told him,” I whisper. “Maybe it would have been easier.”
Chapter 26 – Angelo
“Does that bastard think that he’s doing me a favor?” I spit out angrily, not that there’s anyone around to hear me. “Oh, he doesn’t want to press charges about me attacking him? Thank you very much.”
I stomp out of the police station, allowing the burning hot rage to continue circling through me because it’s the only thing preventing me from feeling all the pain. My fists ache like crazy, as do my ribs and cheeks where I’m pretty sure Alex got me a couple of times. But he was worse off, that much is for sure. And I’m glad about it. He deserves to be worse off after what he did to me. I mean, how can he even think about doing that? Fucking my girlfriend? I don’t give a shit about any of his excuses either. It doesn’t matter how he feels about Mandy, although I definitely don’t think its love, it can’t be, he still shouldn’t have behaved like that.
“Angelo.” Oliver makes me jump when he calls out my name. “I’ve been waiting for you.”
“You have?” I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. “I didn’t know that you were here.”
&
nbsp; “I came as soon as I heard. Rachel messaged me. I’ve come to take you home.”
“Right.” I’m surprised that Rachel did that, she looked really mad at me when she saw me being taken away by the police. I guess she isn’t totally turned off by me. “Well, I’m out now. Let’s get going.” I start to move, but Oliver doesn’t come with me. “What are you waiting for? I want to get out of here now.”
He shoots me a guilty look. “I don’t want to leave Alex here all by himself. I want to get him too.”
“You have to be fucking joking me,” I sneer. “You think I want to go anywhere with Alex?”
“I know that it’s raw. I get that. But you two are brothers. More than brothers. You’re twins. This might be a shitty situation, but we need to get over it as a family. We have been through too much together since childhood to let something like this to come in between us. I think it’s best for us all to talk now.”
I back away from Oliver, staring at him like he has lost his damn mind. This has got to be a joke. Oliver can’t seriously think that me and Alex are ever going to get over this, can he? We’re not going to have a cozy chat over a cup of coffee, and everything will be okay. There isn’t a single combination of words that could make me understand Alex’s point of view. I would never be able to do anything like that to him. However much I like someone, I wouldn’t ever be able to put them before him. I even asked him about me and Rachel!
“Oliver, Alex is the last person I want to be anywhere near ever again. After what he did to me. Yes, I know that we have been through a lot as a family. But never betrayal. I never assumed that I would have to face this from any of you. I mean, he was fucking Mandy. He probably has been for a long time, while I was with her.”
“But you aren’t with her now,” Oliver tries. “You’re happy with Rachel, so this is in the past.”
“But it isn’t. Yes, me and Mandy might not be together now, and I am far happier with Rachel than I ever was with her, but we split up because she was cheating. Alex ended us selfishly. Instead of just telling me that he had feelings for her, he conducted an affair behind my back and that is something I can never forgive.”
