by Brenda Ford
I lean back and let my brothers carry on the discussion, while looking towards the door. Alex hasn’t come back yet, which is strange. That’s been quite a long conversation. Perhaps I can sneak outside and over hear a bit of the chat. I don’t particularly like the idea of eavesdropping but needs must.
“I’ll be back in a moment,” I mutter while rising to my feet. “I’m just going to talk to him.”
I stalk quietly towards the door, my heart racing as I go, and I peer around the front door where I’m sure Alex will be. But the area is empty. The land around the home that our parents left behind for us is big – not massive, but big enough – but he has to be somewhere. Since I’m determined to help Alex now, I need to find him. So, I start the journey around to find him. As I walk, I try to work out what I’ll say when I see him. He’s just told me that he needs time and space and I’m already defying that. I suppose I could have sent one of the others, but I just think that it needs to be me who digs deep enough to find out what’s going on, to help my brother out.
“No,” I hear Alex yelling in a tone that I haven’t heard from him before. It isn’t angry exactly, more fearful and frustrated. “I can’t do that. You know I can’t. It just doesn’t work like that.”
Instead of approaching Alex, I remain where I am and listen in. It’s a challenge to pick up every word when everything is hammering away inside of me, but I do my best. There is so much depending on this.
“Because… look, it just doesn’t… stop…” He’s clearly being interrupted every time he tries to speak. “No, I can’t just… no, it… right, I see. Fine. I’m coming now. We can talk about this in a moment.”
He hangs up the phone and glances to the left. I dive behind a wall as he looks to the right like I’m a criminal who doesn’t want to be seen. I don’t want Alex to know that I’m trying to find out what I’m doing here because it might make things worse. I’m here to make it better! Or to at least try to anyway. I wait for just a couple of seconds before I look again and that’s when I see Alex walking away. He’s leaving without saying goodbye to any of us. Whoever was on the phone, whatever is going on, it is more important than his family. The mystery deepens. I need to unravel it now more than ever.
Chapter 23 – Rachel
I glance at my phone again to see if Angelo has messaged me, because I can hardly wait for him to come to mine. I have had a fun night with Sheri, especially after we got over the hump about Angelo, but I can’t wait to see my man now. He’s been with his brothers, but I know he’s keen to see me too.
Knock, knock.
Just as I’m about to freak out and call him, there’s a knocking at the door. A sound which makes my heart skip with joy. He’s here at last! Even after all the warnings I have been through about how this could go all wrong, I’m excited to see him. I can’t wait to get my hands all over him now.
I tug the door open and practically leap in to Angelo’s arms, pressing kisses all over him. Perhaps it’s because I have had a couple to drink, but it takes me a couple of moments to realize that he isn’t responding in kind. I slide down to the ground and stare at him with curious eyes. Yep, he doesn’t look happy at all.
“What’s going on? You look really upset, Angelo, has something happened?”
Immediately, as always, my mind darts to Mandy. I don’t know how well she has let the relationship with Angelo go, he hasn’t said much about it, but now I fear she might want him back. I don’t know much about her, only that she doesn’t see like the sort of woman to let something go that she considers hers.
“It’s Alex.” My heart stops. This has to be something to do with Mandy. Has he found out? Has the explosion that Sheri warned me about come already? “He seems really weird at the moment. It’s strange.”
“What do you mean, weird?” I ask cautiously. “What’s going on with him?”
“I don’t know. He was just extra quiet when we were all together today. Not like himself at all. Has he been quiet at band practice?” I shrug, because I’m not really sure what answer to give here. “Well, he was. Then when I asked him about it, he closed down, shutting me off completely. He only gave me vague answers.”
I don’t like this one bit. I’m certain this has to do with his affair. Maybe it’s got bad now because Angelo isn’t with Mandy. Perhaps she’s broke things off with Alex too because it isn’t exciting anymore. But I can’t give any of this information to Angelo without admitting that I have known all about this.
“Then he got this call and he went outside to take it. He doesn’t ever do that. So, I went out after him. I just want to help him, you know? I don’t want to eavesdrop or anything, but if he won’t tell me, then what else could I do?” I get a sick bitter feeling in the pit of my stomach as I wonder what he heard. “He seemed to be arguing with someone and then he just left without saying goodbye to anyone.”
I bite down on my bottom lip, trying to keep everything that I know inside. This is utterly horrible and the more that unleashes, the worse it will get. Sheri is right, this is going to be problematic. When all of this comes out, it’s going to open a lot of fresh wounds, creating a lot of pain.
I really don’t want Angelo to be worried about his ex. I want him to be focused on us. I don’t know what will happen with Alex and Mandy and their relationship, but I also don’t want to think about it. Especially not tonight when I have been so looking forward to spending time with my wonderful boyfriend.
“I’m sorry that’s happening,” I say while cupping his cheek in my hand. “I will have a look to see if I notice anything at band practice. I haven’t yet, but I will take a look for it.”
“Thank you.” Angelo bends down and presses a kiss to my lips. “I appreciate it.”
He pulls away ever so slightly, but I tug him back down towards me, crashing our mouths together this time. To distract Angelo from his worries, I need to seduce him and get his eyes only on me. So, as we kiss, I allow my other hand to travel down his body, brushing over his sexy muscular stomach, until I can cup his bulge. It seems that my attempts to turn him have worked already because he’s hard as steel in there.
“Mmm, your hand,” he moans as I stroke him through the outside of his trousers. “You’re so hot.”
His words entice me to slowly slip my whole body downwards towards the ground. I kiss him as I travel to the ground, my mouth caressing the material of his clothing as I do, until I hit the floor.
“Oh God, what are you doing?” he growls with lustful need for me. “You are going to destroy me.”
I allow those words to wash over me as I unbuckle his trousers and slide them down, bringing his underwear with them. His cock springs free, standing to attention for me. Now, I have seen him naked many a time, but not this close up. He is absolutely massive, scarily so, and I am about to take him in my mouth.
I stroke him a few more times first, touching him with my fingers while I bring him closer to my lips. The gasping sounds of desperation draw me forwards, my tongue shooting out, until I graze his salty tip setting the taste buds on my tongue on fire. His hips buck, this must be really good for him, which makes me swirl my tongue further around his tip, tasting all of him. While holding him at his base and tasting his tip, I feel like I have all of him in my mouth already. But that’s something I’m yet to experience…
I dart my eyes up at Angelo, locking my eyes upon his as I push him all the way to the back of my throat. It’s an intense feeling as he spreads my lips wide and practically consumes my whole mouth, but I continue moving until I am at his base. The sounds bubbling in the back of his throat showing me just how turned on he is are my driving force. I know for sure that I will do anything to have him falling apart at my power.
“Rachel, shit.” His hands knot up in my hair, he guides my movements for a short while, showing me the speed, he likes, but soon I get control of the rhythm and he leaves me to it, giving me all the power of him. “Oh wow, Rachel, you don’t know…” he gasps out. “You don’t kno
w how good this feels. It’s too much.”
I taste all of him, sucking and licking every inch of his steel rode, committing every part of him to memory. Once his eyes fall closed because the pleasure gets too much for him, I do the same thing. I become a slave to the sensations of him between my lips and I absolutely love every bit of him. The stiffer he becomes, the tenser his muscles get, the closer I push him towards the edge, the quicker I pick up the pace. I might have an intense need throbbing between my legs, but I want to have him explode down my throat, so I can devour his desire.
I grip my hands around his butt so he can’t pull away, he can’t stop this from happening, because I know what Angelo is like. He will be worried about my pleasure as well. Much as I want him inside of me, I need to make tonight all about him. He’s the one who needs the distraction from everything going on in his life.
When it doesn’t seem like he’s going to move away, I gently slide one of my hands around to the front of him and trace patterns softly over his balls, causing his hips to buck violently. At one point I find myself writing words, and I’m pretty sure I even write ‘I love you’. I suppose that’s one way of telling him without actually saying it aloud and risking rejection. I still don’t quite know how deeply he feels for me yet.
“Holy fuck!” All of a sudden, he screams aloud and erupts down my throat. That sweet salty taste I had a little tip of before fills me up, warms my throat, and slides all the way down to my stomach. “Oh my God.”
He gasps and pants desperately, hugging my head as he does. He leans over me, clinging on to me, and doing what he can to gather himself up. I grab his legs and hold him too, pouring all of my love in to him. Communicating everything that I can without speaking.
“Oh my God, Rachel, that was… was a nice surprise.” He pulls me to my feet and presses his lips to mine. “But then I don’t know why I’m surprised really. Everything you do is incredible.”
I lean my head against his chest and listen in to the sound of his racing heart and panting ragged breaths. I do feel nice here in his arms, but I can’t help clinging on to a lot of guilt as well. I might have distracted Angelo, but I can’t distract myself. I know what’s going on with Alex, I also understand why he shouldn’t be worried about Mandy as well, but I haven’t said anything. On the one hand, it isn’t really my place to say anything, I’m not directly in the middle of the issue, but on the other, I know something that could help the man that I love. So, doesn’t that make it my problem? Perhaps I should just say it and get it over and done with.
“Do you want to go to bed?” Angelo asks me, taking me from my thoughts. “I’m shattered.”
“Yeah,” I nod, not saying anything yet again. I’m sure that it’s the coward’s way out, but I’m too afraid.
“Come on.” He slings is arm over my shoulder. “I’ll carry you up.”
He lifts me up and carries me to my bedroom in a fireman’s carry towards the bed. As soon as we reach the bed, he drops me on to the sheets and starts kissing me passionately, stirring up just about enough feeling to switch my scary negative feelings off. I hook my hands around his neck and return the kissing, moaning deliciously as he slides down my body to return the pleasure I just gave him. Angelo will never leave me out!
Once at my panties, he drags them down and kisses all around my clit. I close my eyes and block out any remaining thoughts as he drives pleasure through my body with his tongue. He alternates between plunging it in to me and massaging my insides, to swirling it around my clit, shoving me towards the knife edge of desire.
I love you. The words sit on the edge of my mouth, begging to burst free. I love you so much, Angelo.
But I clamp my mouth shut tightly and refuse to let those words out. I can’t, not yet. I can’t put any pressure on us and make things more complicated. I’m sure I’ll have to wait until he finds out everything before I admit my feelings so I can let go of this guilt that wants to swallow me up whole.
Luckily, I manage to keep it inside even as the hot bliss swirls and crashes through me. I keep my mouth shut even as the orgasm sweeps me away and takes me on to another plane of existence. I feel it with every part of me, but I don’t say it aloud. I can’t. Not yet.
Chapter 24 – Angelo
He’s still not himself, I think knowingly as I watch Alex sing on stage. He’s giving it his all, pouring his heart into it, but I can just tell. The rest of the audience won’t be able to see the signs that something isn’t quite right, but this is my twin brother. I just know. Tonight, I’m going to work it out, once and for all.
I have been tip toeing around my brother, trying to find out what’s going on with him without directly asking, but now it’s been going on for too long. This worry isn’t going anywhere. I need to work it out before something drastic happens. I just have this feeling that all will crash and fall apart soon, leaving everyone a mess. I might not know what is going on with Alex, but I can be sure that his downfall will affect us all. We’re too close for it not to. You don’t go through what we did, losing our parents and looking after one another, without developing the sort of relationship where we will stick together through anything, dragging each other out of the dirt.
I glance around the bar, wishing that I had brought any of my brothers with me, so I didn’t have to face this alone, but I didn’t even ask any of them. I made the decision to see this gig alone and to try again to speak to Alex. He’s so shut down it’s going to take everything I have, but I’m willing to do it. Much as I’m so damn happy with Rachel, I’m not letting that turn me away from my brothers anymore. Rachel wouldn’t want that. She loves my family too, particularly Alex. I know she’s keen for him to be okay again as well.
Every so often, I drag my eyes off my brother and grin at Rachel. She’s a wonderful distraction from everything that’s going on. She’s the one person keeping me sane, helping me through everything. I honestly don’t know what I would do without her. Thank goodness we managed to find our way to each other. When we look at one another and my heart skips a beat, I just know that she’s the one for me.
In fact, I want to tell her that I have fallen in love with her. It’s been a challenge for me to hold that back. The only reason that I haven’t said it yet is because I am aware that we’ve moved fast, that I have jumped from one relationship straight into another, but maybe it’s time to stop worrying about things like that. Those opinions mostly come from other people anyway, they don’t change the way I feel. Tonight, could be the night. I might step out of social convention and expectation and do what’s right for me and Rachel. Screw everyone else.
A warmth creeps through my chest and swims around the rest of my body as I think about how she’ll react. I know that Rachel will be happy, she’s so simply and straight forward, easy to read which is so refreshing for me. After being with someone for so long that I couldn’t understand at all, I absolutely love it.
Yes, I tell myself decisively. I’m going to tell her tonight. It’s going to be wonderful.
I sip my drink slowly and watch the rest of the gig with happiness in my heart, only moving when it comes to an end. I make the decision to buy Alex a drink and to take him somewhere quiet so we can have a proper talk. He can give me all the usual excuses for why he doesn’t want to talk to me, but I’m not going to take it today. I refuse to listen to him needing space and time. I have given him that. It’s time for him to spill.
I don’t want to allow my imagination to get the better of me. It’s hard when there are all kinds of thoughts circling me, but I will deal with it no matter what. If its groupies related or perhaps addiction. Even if it’s some kind of depression or something equal that’s come with his growing fame. I really can’t put my finger on it until he tells me, but I will be his rock and support to guide him through everything.
“Rachel!” Again, my whole body reacts as I see her. “Come here, you. You were amazing!”
She races to me and jumps in my arms, kissing me lovingly, reassuring
me even though I don’t need that anymore. I do understand that she needs to talk to fans and go on tour with the band. The fear that she will cheat on me is my issue alone, nothing to do with her. Since we talked about it, I feel so much stronger.
“Is Alex with you?” I ask as we pull apart. “Or did he stay backstage?” She shrugs, unsure. “How does he seem to you today? I’m still really worried about him. He doesn’t seem like himself at all.”
She nods, knowing him almost as well as I do. “I know, he didn’t seem into it, but he hasn’t said anything. He could just be tired. He has been going quite full on recently. You have seen that…”
I shake my head, knowing for sure there’s more to it than that. “I don’t know. I think I need to speak to him.”
Rachel stiffens, looking oddly fearful, but she nods and finally agrees with me. “Okay yeah, might be a plan.”
“Do you think that I should wait for him to come out here and talk to him with a drink or head backstage so we can have a more private chat? I can’t work out what to do for the best and it’s stressing me out.” My head falls in to my hands and I think hard. “You know what, I’m going backstage. I can’t wait any longer.”
“No, wait.” Rachel grabs my arm and tries to hold me in place. I turn to see what’s going on, but it seems that whatever she was about to say she has decided against. Instead, she pulls me to her for one sweet kiss.
“I won’t be long,” I reassure her. “It’ll just be a chat. Then I’ll be back. You’ll be okay out here?”
“With all the fans hounding me?” she jokes weakly. “I can handle it. Just get back to me quickly.”
