by Brenda Ford
“You don’t get to say anything to me about Amelia, do you hear me? She is nothing to you. She was my wife.”
“Yes, and you beat her senseless. You put her in hospital a number of times.”
“Don’t you dare…” He slams his hand into my chest, knocking me backwards.
“Speak to me about that. You have no idea… I don’t even know what you’re doing here. She isn’t with you anymore.”
“She isn’t with you either. What are you doing here?”
“My bar is just around the corner. That’s where I always drink. Yes, so I might be able to see her office from there but that’s irrelevant. That has nothing to do with why I drink there.”
“So, basically, you’re a stalker.” I roll my eyes. “Well, that’s just brilliant, isn’t it? What a way to waste your life. You killed people and have a second chance at life now that you’re out of jail. But instead of doing anything positive with that, you’re wasting it away and doing nothing.”
“Fuck you.” Lux shoves me again. He wants a rise out of me, he wants me to attack him, but I’m not going to. He won once but I won’t let him win again. “Fuck you, you little punk.”
“Just leave it, Lux.” I turn to walk away. I can’t go anywhere near Amelia’s office now. Not with this idiot after me. The last thing I want to do is bring drama to her doorstep. “Go and calm down somewhere.”
I continue walking, sadness crushing down on me. I really didn’t think that Lux would be around anymore. I assumed that his part of the drama would be over now, but I guess not. No wonder Amelia is hesitant. We’re going to have to find a way to avoid him like the plague.
“You will not walk away from me like that,” Lux groans angrily. “I won’t have it. Get back here. Get back here, you asshole. This has been a long time coming. Let’s have this out.”
Before I can respond, before I can even turn around, I feel a giant blow to my head, and everything goes black.
Chapter 36 - Amelia
Ring, ring… Ring, ring… Ring, ring…
Just as I get through the door to my house, a strange number calls me. One I haven’t seen before. I almost consider not answering it because I’m not in the mood to speak to anyone right now, particularly not a cold caller trying to sell me something, but at the last minute I hit the green button. Just in case.
“Hello…?” Before I can say any more, I get notice that this is a call from the prison. Curious and unable to hang up on the off chance that this is someone I want to speak to; I wait on the line.
“Hey there, beautiful.” I shiver and slam the door behind me. The sound of Lux’s voice is the last thing I need. Although considering it’s the prison I don’t know why I’m surprised that it’s him. “Shocked to hear from me?”
“What do you want, Lux?” I demand, not about to get sucked into his little games. “Why are you locked up?”
“Ah, well, I don’t know how much you know, but there was some drama near your work today, wasn’t there?”
I try my hardest to bypass the smugness in his voice. He just wants to wind me up, I know it. “Yes, there were some sirens around. But I don’t know what happened because I was busy. Why, was it you?”
“I had a little run in with your young lover. You know, the high school student.”
Immediately I stop dead, my blood runs ice cold. Nelson. God, I haven’t seen too much of Nelson ever since the first night of his party because I’ve been actively pushing him away while I figure out what the best thing to do is. But now I’m afraid that by doing that I have somehow made everything so much worse.
“What do you mean? You had a run in? Lux, I don’t like the sound of that.”
The last time that Nelson was in my life was the last time that Lux was a real issue for me. Sure, he’s been around, and he’s cropped up once or twice, but he achieved his goal by destroying my life and he seemed to move on. Not physically move which is what I wanted him to do, but he hasn’t bothered me too much.
Funny now that Nelson is back in my life, so is he. What a freaking nightmare.
“We… bumped into one another, shall we say? And it got a little heated.”
“Is that why you’re locked up? Because you argued? Is Nelson locked up too?”
I roll my eyes, irritated now that this is something I’m going to have to deal with. Not for Lux’s sake, he can go to hell. But I can’t leave Nelson where he is because of my past… again. This isn’t right.
“Oh no.” His voice now heightens, I can tell that he’s getting to the best part of his story. “Nelson isn’t here.”
“Right… so what the hell are you calling me for? You know that I’m not about to come and save your ass. I really don’t have the time to deal with your shit, Lux. I actually have a life to get on with.”
“I just wanted to show you the respect that you deserve. I would rather you hear it from me. You might want to get that beautiful butt down to the hospital morgue to see your little boyfriend.”
“M… morgue…” Shit, the whole world stops as I try to process this. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about solving your little problem once and for all. Killing your boyfriend.”
My knees give way and I collapse to the ground. I part my lips to scream but nothing comes out. It’s like I’m stunned to the core and unable to make any sound whatsoever. Things were never supposed to end this way. They were supposed to end in a happy ever after not death. I pushed Nelson away over and over, trying to be smart, when all I want to do is love him. Now, I might never get the chance again.
“I beat him to death, just in case you’re interested. He was stalking you. Coming to your work with some fucking sappy roses… as if you want flowers. So, I had to get rid of him somehow. You can thank me later.”
“Th… thank you?” My head is spinning, I feel like I’m falling, like I’m losing my mind. “Fuck you.”
“Oh, now don’t be like that, Amelia. I did you a favor. I will have to do some more time for killing another person, even though I was totally in the right this time around, but afterwards we can get back together.”
I hit the end call button, unable to hear any more of his bullshit. I drop my cell phone to the floor and jump as it clatters loudly, but it doesn’t shake me from me from my shock. All I can do is think about Nelson, his face, his love, the time we spent together… then I remember how horrified he looked as I kicked him out and I realize that is the last time we shared together. That’s the way that our beautiful love story ended.
“No.” I shake my head hard. “No, no, no. I can’t take this. I can’t stand it.”
I push myself up, knowing that if I spend more time on the floor, I will end up living there, unable to get up. Lux is an asshole and he’s proven in the past that he can kill… but he didn’t beat anyone to death, it was a car accident. He might just be winding me up. God, I don’t want to get my hopes up to find out that he has died, but until I see it for sure I can’t be convinced. I need to drag my sorry ass to the hospital somehow and find out for sure. If I just keep Nelson’s face at the forefront of my mind, then I will find the strength.
I grab my cell phone off the floor and my car keys too and I stagger towards the front door. The Smith house is to the side of me, but I can’t find the strength to go and tell them anything. I don’t know what to say anyway. I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to go with half information. So, I get in to the car and drive.
With shaking fingers, I set up my phone to call Rosie as I go. Much as I don’t want anyone to know until I’m sure, I do need to talk to my daughter. She is my rock in this messy world.
“Hey, Mom.” I can tell from her happy tone that she doesn’t know anything yet. I’m about to crash that.
“R… Rosie, your dad has just called me. He’s locked up. He… he said that he killed Nelson.”
I can’t get the words out. Saying it makes it terrifyingly real. I don’t want it to be real. I’m short of breath
as it is, trying to get these words out squeezes my lungs so tight I can’t stand it. I won’t survive it.
“What? Mom, you aren’t making any sense. What happened to Dad? Where is Nelson? I can’t hear you.”
“He... he… I’m on the way to the hospital. Nelson is… hurt. I don’t know. I’m not sure what happened.”
“Oh my God. The hospital? Okay, let me just sort things out here and I will come.”
I’m just about to tell Rosie not to bother because I don’t want her to have to deal with this too, but I realize that I can’t just hack this by myself. I might need some support if Nelson is dead.
“Okay right. Well… yes, I will see you there. I will be there in a moment.”
When I hang up the phone, I pick up the speed in my desperation to get to the hospital. I don’t know if this is my best driving, but I keep on going. If I can help, if I can do anything, then I will. I might have failed Nelson up until this point, but I need to make sure that I make up for it now. Somehow. I don’t know what I can do, who I can help, but I will make sure that I somehow do something.
“I’m sorry, Nelson.” Tears stream down my face. “Oh God, I’m so sorry.”
I will make sure that Lux never gets out of jail for this. If he’s done what he says he has then I will make sure he doesn’t get away with it. I won’t allow him out of prison again. It isn’t right. He already escaped after killing three people. He can’t come out and kill again. He shouldn’t be out anyway. But after this, he’s done for.
Eventually I pull up at the hospital. My body wants to freeze as I park, but I don’t let it. I don’t want to make it all the way here just to sit in the car in the parking lot with no information. I force my legs out and I make them walk all the way inside. It’s like carrying two pipes of lead underneath me, but I struggle on.
Once inside, the lights seem bright and intense. I have to blink a few times to see through it. I step over to the reception desk, my knees knocking together in sheer terror. I don’t know where I’m going to find Nelson now, what part of the hospital he will be in, but I need to find out.
“Can I help you?” the receptionist asks me in a friendly tone of voice. She barely glances at me as she talks which is probably good because I don’t want to deal with eye contact right now.
“Err, yes, I’m looking for Nelson… Nelson Smith.” God, I can’t stop shaking. It’s too much.
“Right, of course.” She taps away at the computer. “And are you a family member?”
I know that they won’t let me in to see him if I tell him that I’m not, so I lie. “Yes, I am.”
“Sure okay, well he is in room two eighteen. If you go to the elevator, it’ll be quicker.”
He’s in a room. What does that mean? Is it a good sign? This is floor six though, which means two is down. Morgues are always down, aren’t they? So, this woman might assume that I already think that I know he’s dead and she’s sending me to view him. She isn’t cold, just this is what she’s used to every day.
Illness overcomes me as I step into the elevator and I descend downwards. I can hardly keep myself upright as I get ever closer to the right floor and the right room. There are other people in the elevator, but I can’t make myself look normal even for them. I’m a freaking mess, trying to work out if the man I love is dead.
On floor two, I wander, almost staggering from side to side, until I find the room I am searching for.
“Two eighteen.” My heart pounds. This doesn’t look like a morgue, but I can’t be a hundred percent certain. I don’t really know what a morgue room would look like anyway. It isn’t something that I have ever experienced before. “Just go inside. See him already. Find out once and for all.”
With every scrap of strength that I have, I click the door open and I force myself inside. Step by step, one foot at a time. Forcing myself to go in a direction that my instincts want to run away from. Then I step in and see him, lying on the bed, stiff as a board and still than I have ever seen him be. I crumble and break.
Chapter 37 - Nelson
“Amelia?” I turn my head, croaking because my voice box hurts so much. “You’re here?”
“Nelson,” she practically screams. “Oh my God, you’re alive. You’re alive!”
She runs over to me and throws her arms around me, stopping when I wince with pain. Lux did a fucking number on me. I defended myself but didn’t fight back because I don’t want to wreck my reputation when it comes to my new business. I have also been in the police station before because of Lux and I didn’t want to end up there again. It hurts like hell, but at least, like Amelia said, I’m alive.
“He’s a tough fucker, crazy too,” I laugh. “But not enough to take me down.”
“He rang me from jail and told me that he killed you. I was so worried that you were dead.”
“Asshole, “I growl. “Why the hell would he do that to you? What a prick.”
“I know, I know, but you are safe and that’s all that matters to me.” She pulls back and kisses all over my face. “The moment I thought that I’d lost you, all I could think about is how much we would lose out on. I have been trying to be careful because of what happened before and that was stupid when all I want is you.”
“It just took for me to nearly get killed for you to realize it,” I tease. “If I’d known that…”
“Oh, don’t be silly.” She weeps and rubs her eyes. “I would have realized it eventually.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know.” I pull her closer to me, ignoring the pain. “I just want to hold you for a moment.”
We hug in silence for a while, just loving one another silently. As Lux beat me, trying to kill me, all I could think about was her as well. Her beautiful face, her loving smile, the way I felt being with her. I didn’t want to think about anything other than that. I didn’t want to think about the death that was coming for me, or the pain.
“I might have lost my job for you,” she gushes desperately. “But you nearly lost your life.”
“It wasn’t that bad,” I insist. “It was a fight, that’s all. I’m just glad it got Lux locked up.”
“I hope they realize it means he hasn’t changed, and he’s locked up forever.” She shakes her head. “He isn’t all there. He can’t be. He’s just a crazy prick who doesn’t want me to be happy, whatever the cost.”
Her eyes meet mine and we smile at one another. A grin that connects us deeply. I don’t know where we go from here, but I do know that we’re in the same place at the same time which is good. It’s a positive step in the right direction. I don’t want to be in a hospital bed, but I do want to be with her. I just love her sunny presence.
“So, where do we go from here?” I ask her quietly. “Now that you’ve realized how much you like me.”
She giggles coyly. “Well, I suppose we should discuss where we go from here, don’t you? Like I said, I have always wanted you, I do want to be with you even now, it hasn’t ever been so good, but there are things I’m worried about.” She sighs. Her face falling sadly. “It’s things that I don’t know if we can overcome.”
I try to push myself into a sitting position because this sounds like a serious chat, but I can’t make that happen. “What do you mean? What things do we need to talk about? You can say anything to me.”
My heart pounds, my stomach churns. Could this be the moment when she tells me that as much as she likes me, she doesn’t want to pursue things because it’s just too difficult. This is the scenario that I told everyone I would be okay with, but I know for sure is going to be a massive struggle. I might have to behave like a grown-up who can handle it, but I will go back to be an eighteen year old who can’t handle heart ache.
“Children.” She shrugs helplessly. “Obviously, I’m not going to be able to have more children.”
I pause and consider this for a moment. That’s something I haven’t even considered before, but actually it doesn’t worry me. I don’t know if kids are even something I see in my future.
I could quite happily live without them. “You know, I have five brothers. In the end, I will end up with a million nieces and nephews. They are kids in my life that I can give back. That I can just be the fun uncle with. That’s good enough for me.”
“I don’t want you to grow up and resent me because of the kids thing though. It worries me.”
“Amelia.” I grab her arm and pull her to me. “I just want you. That is all. Do you think that for once, you can just believe me? It’s always been you, even over the years I haven’t been here, it’s only been you. Nothing will ever get in the way of that. I want you way more than I want kids. I don’t even want any children.”
She nods slowly and gasps through the weeps a couple of times, but eventually she sinks into me. She accepts my words and leans against me, finally caving to the love that me and her share. We couldn’t have had this in the same way four years ago, it wouldn’t have worked. But now… well, now, we can finally have happiness.
I might be in pain, I might have been beaten badly, but I’m still the warmest and happiest I have ever been. I finally feel like I have Amelia at long last, properly. This is everything that I want and so much more.
“Mom!” All of a sudden, Rosie bursts through the door, shocking me and Amelia apart. “Oh my God, Mom. I thought you said on the phone to me that Nelson was dead. I have been so worried.”
She rushes to me and hugs me which is unlike Rosie at all. She normally treats me as someone she needs to keep a bit of distance from. I don’t think she fully trusts me. But now, because she thinks that I have been killed, she is more than willing to hug me now. Funny how things change after a near death experience.
“I’m okay,” I reassure her while patting her back. “I’m a bit cut and bruised but mostly okay.”
She pulls back to look at me, examining me closely. “You look like shit. My dad is a real asshole. I’m not going to let him get away with this. He can’t just spend his whole life acting like that.”
“Oh, wow, thank you.” I’m shocked. She’s being really nice. “That’s great.”
