by Mary Martel
She really hadn’t lied when she’d said there was no furniture. The place was a huge, empty space. Until I got to a room that opened up into a kitchen.
There wasn’t any damn furniture in this room either. But there were boxes, luggage, and bags that she’d probably packed her clothes in. And, directly in the center of the room, bags upon bags upon bags were piled up, looking like she’d gone on a bender of a shopping spree and brought home half the mall.
What the fuck?
My girl did not go to the mall and she’d never talked about shopping in front of me.
First, she texted me saying some crazy shit about buying a beach house. Which I honestly thought had been a joke when I first looked at it. Then she told me she didn’t even have furniture, which was sketchy as shit. Now this messy room. What next?
And where the hell was she?
As if drawn by some invisible force, I walked up to the wall of glass that showed me at least she’d gotten a house with a damn pool. She loved water, whether it was a lake, ocean, river, or a pool, she loved it. It settled something in her and seemed to make her happy.
With the right furniture, this crib could be sweet, and I hadn’t even seen the bedrooms or most of the house yet. The view alone was the shit, and I could see why she’d bought it in the first place.
I mean, I still didn’t understand it, but it sure looked nice.
I spotted Gem sitting out on a wooden deck with a bottle of booze beside her. Her body swayed back and forth to the music playing on her cellphone. No wonder she couldn’t hear me ringing the buzzer, she had that music blasting.
“Drip” by Cardi B and Migos.
Clearly she was in a mood. She always told me Cardi B was her pick me up music. And her rocking out in the car music. But never usually her sitting alone and drinking music.
She must have felt my presence, because she definitely couldn’t hear my approach over her music. She turned around and gawked at me. She waved the bottle of Goose at me happily and jumped up to her feet.
“Franks!” she yelled loudly to be heard over her tunes. “You’re here! I’ve been waiting forever!”
My lips twitched in amusement as she ran toward me. This was a drunk Gem I’d only ever seen once or twice. She was usually a really chill girl to be around, and this side of her she kept hidden from the world, too afraid of it being curb stomped by anyone she was too real with.
I caught her when she threw herself at me and wrapped my arms around her. She felt good in my arms, even right there. Too good. If I weren’t careful and didn’t check myself, I’d soon be putting our friendship in jeopardy.
And that scared the shit out of me. I couldn’t lose Gem. She was the most normal part of my life, and she grounded me in a way nothing else could. The fact that she absolutely was not a normal person should have told you a thing or two about my real life when I wasn’t around her.
“You really don’t have any furniture in this beast,” I murmured into the top of her hair. “But the one room looks like you could have robbed the damn mall. What’s up with that?”
She tipped her head back and looked up at me. The smile on her face was big and crazy. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it, because that smile usually got me into trouble. I’d do anything for her when she looked at me like that.
“Tomorrow, you and me, we’re going to buy deck furniture and we’re for sure doing some online shopping. It’s going to be so awesome,” she said in a happy, singsong voice.
I absolutely was not going shopping with her tomorrow or anytime in the future, but I certainly would be down to do some buying online with her.
“I need your keys, Gemmy babe, so I can park your ride in the garage,” I chided in a gentle voice, entirely ignoring what she’d just said to me. “You know better. I also want my own set of keys to the house and my own garage door opener. Then you can give me a tour of your new, stupid big ass house so I can pick out which room I want to claim as my own.”
I smacked her lightly on the ass. “Let’s get a move on it. You can go back to drinking and moping around later.”
She frowned up at me and cocked her head to the side, studying me. “Did you really just smack my ass, Franklin? Really? Turn around and bend over so I can take a shot at yours. It seems only fair to me.”
I slapped her ass again, this time a little bit harder, and she yelped.
She was too damn funny. I did the spanking, and it would never be the other way around. “Keys, baby. Let’s hustle so you can get back to your boozing and sad, sorry ways.”
She reached up and pinched me on the cheek, hard.
“Bitch,” I hissed without any real heat as she let me go and started for the house. The sound of her laughter trailed along behind her, and I couldn’t help but follow it as if she had me on a leash and she’d just pulled on it.
I followed her through the house like a silent shadow as she went into the kitchen. She pulled open a drawer by the dishwasher. She dug around in there until she found what she was looking for and pulled it out. My eyebrows rose in surprise. Did the girl already have a junk drawer in her new house? I couldn’t imagine they had one at her dad’s, or now the nannies’ house. That twat had let other people run his household, and I couldn’t imagine any sort of disorder in the place.
Shit, I hoped Gem’s new place didn’t turn into some type of frat house bullshit, because after getting a load of that view out back, I could totally see myself easily living here with her. And I hadn’t even seen the lake during the day, but I knew it would be pretty impressive in the morning. Something to look forward to. I couldn’t wait and I really couldn’t give Gem a hard time for very much longer about her rash behavior, because I’d definitely be benefiting from it.
Gemmy didn’t know it yet, but for as long as she planned on living here, I’d be living here with her. It wasn’t safe for her to be here on her own, and yeah, I knew damn well that excuse would wear real thin pretty quickly.
Gem handed me a keyring with several keys on it—one of them being to her Caddy, a garage opener, and another keyring with five keys on it that she explained went to doors around the house. Though she didn’t explain which keys went to what. Trial and error was the name of the game.
She returned to her back deck where she’d left her music and Goose. I went out the front door. I opened the garage with the opener she’d given me and then clipped it to the visor in my wagon. I parked Gem’s Caddy in the first bay of the garage closest to the house.
Before pulling my wagon into the center bay in the garage, I hauled all my bags and the shit I’d picked up on the ride over here onto the front porch. Then I parked my ride in the garage next to Gemmy’s. I closed the doors and made sure the side door was locked using the set of keys she’d given me.
I hauled all of my shit into the house and dropped it off into the room beside the kitchen where she’d had all of her crap piled up. Then I went back and locked up the front door. I messed around with the security panel until I figured out how the fuck the thing actually worked and armed the windows and all the doors except for the back panel of glass doors that were pushed wide open.
No matter how messed up I got with my girl tonight, I was confident enough in myself to know I wouldn’t forget something as important as locking up the glass doors and setting the alarm for them.
When I had everything I felt was important, I dug around in my backpack and pulled out my gold cigarette case with my initials engraved on the front. It had been a gift from Gem on my last birthday. I plucked out a pre-rolled joint and closed the case, sticking it into the backpack where I’d gotten it from.
I kept all of my important shit in this bag. My gun was in there with the ounce of green I’d brought with me from home and the burner phone my father had me use for work. There were three other burners in there that hadn’t been used yet. One was for Gem, just in case she might need it for whatever reason. I also had bands of one-hundreds in there just in case. You never knew when you’d need
cash on hand and I always had stacks in my bag.
When I got my room sorted here, I could get a safe to put in my closet to keep my cash and another gun. I also had fake papers for myself and Gem in my safe at my father’s compound that I planned on moving here when I knew I had a safe place to put them.
In the freezer, I struck gold and found several more glass bottles of Goose. I nabbed a bottle and didn’t bother searching the cupboards for a glass. If Gem could be classy enough to drink straight from the bottle, then who was I to snub my nose at her. Might as well join her, plus she’d give me shit for bringing a glass to her one-woman party.
I was just happy she let me be a part of it.
I sat down next to her on the wooden deck, and I couldn’t help but stare at her in question because the music had changed drastically, and Bieber was now singing on about his intentions. Gem lay sprawled out on her back with her arms out wide at her sides and her adorable minty hair fanned out all around her.
Some people couldn’t pull off funky colored hair, and they either looked like they were just plain weird or trying too damn hard. Neither description fit Gem. Her hair suited her perfectly, and it would be weird if she went back to her naturally dark locks. Her hair now was bold but muted, like Gem herself. I didn’t know how I could put the two together, but that was how I’d describe Gem since I met her.
Lately, however, just the boldness had been shining through though it was shrouded in sadness. I wanted her to be free to be bold, beautiful, carefree, and, most of all, happy. This grief she carried killed me a little on the inside.
I put the joint to my lips, flipped the lid open on my zippo, and flicked the flint wheel. I stuck the flame to the end of the joint and it immediately sparked up. I puffed away on it, inhaling and holding the smoke in my lungs. When I could hold it in no more, I blew the smoke out in neat, almost perfectly shaped rings.
I took another drag and handed it off to Gem. She took it from me and didn’t even bother sitting up.
While she smoked and thankfully stopped singing, I cracked open my bottle of Goose and sucked some back. The burn, like usual, felt good, and I very much welcomed it.
Gem coughed roughly and passed the joint back to me. “This is nice,” she said in an even huskier voice than normal. “It’s been a long time since you and I have just been able to simply be with each other, hanging out, with there being no drama and tears. I missed this, and I know you’ve been hanging around me a lot lately so you can make sure I’m alright, but I missed you. I know that sounds crazy because you’ve been spending so much time with me, but I really did miss you... Or maybe I’m just drunk.”
She laughed uproariously and finally, for the first time in what felt like a really long fucking time, I allowed a full-blown smile free. It had been so long, my face felt almost foreign with its movements.
These days, my smile seemed solely reserved for whenever Gem was around and only Gem. The rest of my life held no safe place for my happiness, and I had no business ever feeling carefree.
Gem brought out the best of me, even when most people would think the best of me wasn’t actually any damn good. Gem had never even once attempted to curb my behavior, and she usually didn’t do anything but just let me be myself around her.
I wanted to be cliche and call her one of a kind, but until recently, that hadn’t exactly been true. There’d been two of her though. Even if they hadn’t been the same girl, they’d still worn the same face.
I really wished I’d been able to meet her sister in person. If she’d been even anything like how Gem had described her, then she really must have been something special. Though I’d seen her in person several times because I sought her out and followed her, I never once approached her. I knew Gem had sent her pictures of me, because she usually made ludicrous jokes every time she took one about how cool she’d think it was if her sister took one look at me, fell in love with what she’d seen, and then eventually we’d have some outrageously ridiculous big wedding because that was what Gem said she knew Gin would enjoy. I had never commented on this absurdity and knew she hadn’t really expected me to in the first place.
I had been able to hide my feelings for Gem from her for quite some time now, much to my relief and growing horror. Gem never even seemed to notice my feelings before, and I knew it wasn’t because she was cruel, but because I’d hidden them so well. But her wanting me for the one person in this world that meant everything to her definitely did not feel shitty in the slightest. Just a little weird, but sweet.
Maybe one day soon she’d see my feelings for what they really were. And maybe one day I would stop feeling terrified I’d do or say the wrong thing, and she’d exit my life as fast as possible.
And who could really blame me?
No matter if she liked it or not, I would not allow her to walk away from me. If things came down to that, I knew she really would hate me. Gem didn’t like being told what to do, even if it was for her own wellbeing. The last thing I wanted in this whole world was for my girl to hate me.
Gem’s bottle of Goose clacked with my own, and I opened my mouth to apologize and hopefully get back on the right track with her. I hadn’t realized I’d spaced out and had stopped paying attention to her until her bottle tapped against my own. I thought maybe she wanted my attention back on her.
No.
That wasn’t it at all.
“To liars and lesbians,” she toasted loudly with fake cheer.
What in the actual fuck?
“What the hell do you have against lesbians?” I asked in shock. I didn’t bother asking about liars because nobody liked those. “Aren’t you all about one love and all that? What gives, Gemmy?”
She gulped down some more vodka and flopped back, sprawling out on the deck once again like a snow angel without the snow. She dropped the halfway empty bottle and plucked the now tiny joint out of my hand.
I sighed as I looked back out at the dark water below. Clearly, she planned on taking her sweet time in explaining herself to me. And she was back to being in a weird mood. Go figure. Gem seemed to be in a mood a lot lately, but I guessed that was to be expected given all she had going on in her life right now.
To my surprise, the music shut off abruptly, and it had me looking back at her expectantly. Her eyes were closed, and her hands were now underneath her head, arms cocked out and bent at the elbows. She looked the epitome of relaxed, but she didn’t fool me in the slightest.
“I stole all of Gin’s diaries so that our mother wouldn’t find them and snoop through them. Gin would have hated that, so I told myself I was doing it for my sister. Turns out that was a lame excuse, because I started reading through one of them tonight before you got here.”
Shit.
No wonder she was incredibly moody tonight. I couldn’t imagine what she felt while reading the words of her beloved sister while probably feeling wrong for doing it. It probably felt like a betrayal toward her sister for reading it to begin with.
“I wish I had never opened that stupid fucking pink notebook and started reading. I never should have done it. Instant karma, that’s exactly what that shit was, for damn sure. But you better believe it was informative as hell. Yeah, it was definitely that.”
Christ.
The horrible emptiness in her voice scared the shit out of me and had my stomach dropping out. Her voice might have been empty, but I knew it hid all she felt behind it, everything she didn’t want me to see. I saw right past it though, I always did. She couldn’t hide anything from me. We were best friends, but I knew deep down it was definitely more than that. For me and for her, no matter if she was ready to admit it or not. She knew it and I knew it. Eventually, we’d have to speak the words aloud and either lay it to rest, which would likely mean we’d never truly be the same again, or we could put ourselves to the test and see if we were up to the challenge or not. Not wasn’t really an acceptable option to me, because it meant I’d lose her in a certain type of way, and I’d do next to any
thing to avoid that.
Gem was my whole entire world, or at least the only part worth anything.
She thought she knew what she meant to me. She had no fucking idea. And I had no intention of cluing her in just this second. I was scared when she found out that she’d run away from me because it might freak her right the fuck out.
“My sister was gay,” Gem blurted without ceremony.
“Fuck,” I cursed under my breath. Not because her sister was into chicks, but because Gem had never known about it. The ultimate betrayal between identical twins such as Gin and Gem were keeping secrets from each other. No wonder my girl seemed so upset.
Fuck.
But, hold up.
“What about that jacked up Ken doll who seemed obsessed with you?” I asked curiously. “I thought you said he’d been her boyfriend and he’d cheated on her with that cheerleader chick from the funeral. What’s up with that?”
I knew my girl certainly hadn’t lied to me about any of it, that was for sure. That meant Gin had lied to her sister even more. This shit just kept getting worse and worse for my girl. I didn’t even want to hear the rest of it, but I’d listen because it was obvious to me Gem had to give it to someone and I was all she had left now. So I’d listen, even when I didn’t want to.
“Honestly, Franks,” she said in that horribly empty voice. I couldn’t help but smirk at the “Franks” despite what else I knew she was saying, only Gem shortened my name, and she didn’t even do it like a normal person. The first time she’d called me “Franks” I’d stared at her like she had a few screws loose in that crazy brain of hers. Then I’d laughed and started calling her Gems in return. Amongst a whole lot of other things. Nobody else called her that either, it was mine alone, and I’d be pissed if I ever heard anyone else call her by that.
“I think there isn’t much my sister was actually honest with me about. I’ve only read a small passage so far and I couldn’t stomach anymore at the moment. It hurt too much to read. There wasn’t anything about Riley in there, but from what I read, I don’t think she ever had a relationship with him outside of friendship. Which makes me feel sick, because now I think she might have actually lied to me about him taking her virginity and it not being a good experience for her. I’m fairly certain she lied about her long-term relationship, and it actually happened with Belinda, her best friend, the cheerleader from the funeral. They had a secret relationship for a long time and never went public with it because Belinda didn’t want anyone to know she liked girls. Gin also wrote about how often Belinda cheated on her with random football and basketball players. Until one day she caught her eating pussy in a bathroom at school, and it broke Gin’s heart.”
