Boy of the Week

by Emily Camp

  He turned, poised on his skateboard.

  “I’m sorry.” Because I did do him wrong.

  “Me too.” He said before skating away.

  I wasted no time climbing out of my car to get to Jack. He was in his own world, his brow furrowed and his stare blank. I was glad I was not the only reason he made that face. He pulled his blue duffle bag out of the trunk and tossed it over his shoulder. He looked down at his phone. I was only feet away from him now, in his driveway and he still hadn’t seen me yet.

  “Hey,” I said.

  He jumped, his tennis shoes squeaking on the concrete. “Kacey.” His smile grew when he saw me. “What are you doing?” He looked around before spotting my car.

  “I was bored.” I’d decided in that moment I wasn’t going to tell him about my dad or my drunk mom. I just wanted to have a normal Saturday night with my boyfriend.

  “I thought you were going to come when I texted. But I like this surprise.” He smiled down at me as I reached my arms around his neck and propped myself on my tiptoes. He bent to meet my lips, a closed mouth kiss was all it was before he pulled away. A smile still on his face.

  “It’s a little chilly out here.” His hand slid down my arm. He threaded his fingers through mine and led me inside.

  ***

  I sat on his bed when he told me he was going to take a quick shower. He gathered some clothes then padded into his bathroom. The shower began to run. I looked at my phone again.

  My mom had texted. I wasn’t going to answer her until she told me my dad had signed the papers and left. I shut the phone off. The only person I wanted to talk to was here. I tossed my phone on the nightstand.

  It seemed like forever after the shower shut off before Jack emerged from the bathroom. His hair was damp. He wore a pair of Adidas pants, the three white lines on the sides made his legs look that much longer. A bright white t-shirt was snug across his shoulders. It looked good on him. I wanted to mess things up just to make him chill out once in a while, but at the same time I found that quirk cute. I was sure everything in the bathroom was put back in place. Not like after I showered. I left my towel and clothes on the floor and hair in the sink. Things my mom always complained about.

  By now, I was lounging back on his bed. He lay down beside me, turned on his side and propped his head up with his hand. “So …”

  I lifted my eyebrows. “So …”

  His hand fell on top mine which were folded over my stomach. “I’m happy to see you.”

  He smelled so good. Like soap and shampoo. That Irish kind.

  “I’m glad to hear that.”

  “You were my good luck charm today.”

  I giggled, “How was that? It’s not like there’s room in your gi.”

  “Gi?” He tilted his head and lifted an eyebrow. His hand began running back and forth along my arm.

  “Your uniform?”

  He tilted his head back and belted out a laugh. “A gi is for karate. We wear singlets in wrestling.”

  “Whatever.” I didn’t care. I just wanted him to kiss me. Too bad he wasn’t wearing his lanyard, I could tug him down with it.

  “I missed you.”

  “I missed you, too.” Boy had I ever. With the drama at my house, and no Addi, I’d had no one else. “Did your mom and dad go today?” I asked.

  “They had to work.” He leaned in a little closer. That was progress.

  “Do they get to go to any meets?”

  “A few.” He lifted the shoulder that was holding him up. Then he brought his arm down so he was laying directly beside me now, his mouth minty and inches from mine. I glanced at his lips, trying to give him the hint. Kiss me. “How was your day?”

  “Boring.” At this rate, I thought I was going to have to be the first to kiss him tonight.

  He smiled and shook his head. “I can’t figure you out.”

  “Am I a puzzle or something?” What was there to figure out? I just wanted him to kiss me already.

  He looked down at my stomach, where his hand still grazed across mine. “Something. You’re definitely something.”

  “Is that a good thing?”

  He brought his gaze back to my face. “Yes.”

  “Are you going to kiss me or what?”

  This made his eyes go wide before he smiled. I finally reached around his neck and pulled him toward me.

  ***

  I was in a post-kiss haze when he sat up, shifting his legs on the side of the bed. “What time is it?”

  “I don’t know.” And I didn’t care. I stared at the ceiling waiting for the tingle to leave my toes.

  “Kacey,” he said.

  I turned toward him. By now it was dark, besides the light coming from his cellphone, but I could see his hair all rumpled. I liked it like that. I wished he would let it go more often. “Yeah?”

  “Does your mom not know you’re here?”

  “Why?” I sat up.

  “She sent me several texts and tried to call.” He pointed his screen toward me.

  My heart dropped to my gut.

  “What’s going on?”

  I took a deep breath. “I don’t want to think about that right now.”

  “Kacey.” He spoke like a dad chastising his child. How ironic.

  “You aren’t my parent.” I climbed off the bed.

  “What? I didn’t …”

  “Where’re my shoes?” I wasn’t sure where I’d tossed them.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Leaving.” I powered on my phone.

  “Kacey,” he said.

  “Could you turn on a light?” It was nearly impossible to see anything let alone where my shoes were.

  “Kacey,” he said again.

  “I need my shoes.”

  He tugged on my arm.

  I tried to wiggle free. “Let go.”

  “What’s going on?”

  “I have to find my shoes.” It wasn’t like we came in here in a frenzy. Where were they?

  When he flicked on the light, I noticed my Converse setting perfectly, side by side near his door. When did he have time to do that? It didn’t matter. I just needed to get out of here before the walls closed in on me.

  I shoved my feet in my Converse.

  Jack shrugged on a hoodie.

  “I can find my way to my car.” Normally I would have thought the gesture sweet, but I just wanted to get away.

  “Did I do something wrong?”

  “It’s not you.” Well, maybe what he let slip last night on the phone. He hadn’t brought it up again, so I could forgive that. I didn’t want to lose him, but at the same time I didn’t want to get anymore attached. Getting attached was when things got scary. I was attached to my dad before he left. I was attached to Cody after he told me ‘he really cared’. I was attached to Greg, hoping to finally have a father in my life again.

  “What is it then?” He reached for his glasses on his nightstand.

  “I don’t want to talk about it.” It was like an elephant on my chest.

  He put his glasses on and blinked in confusion.

  “Please don’t make me.” I felt the lilt in my voice as I spoke.

  “Okay?”

  But I could tell he wasn’t convinced. As long as he did what I asked, I didn’t care if he was okay with it or not. All I knew was I could not talk to him about my dad.

  Chapter Thirty-five

  I didn’t want to talk to my mom, either. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. But when I stalked in the house, there she was, all red-eyed and puffy-faced with a mug of coffee cradled in her hands.

  From the living room came my brother’s laughter, and my dad’s deep voice.

  My mom motioned for me to come. I crossed my arms across my chest and reluctantly shuffled to the table. She pulled out the chair beside her. I flopped down, looking at the floor the entire time.

  “I gave you the day to clear your mind,” she finally began, “but now we need to talk.”

  I rolled
my eyes.

  “Like adults. You want me to treat you like an adult, right?”

  She always had, whether I wanted her to or not.

  “Anyway, there is something going on with your dad.”

  “Okay?” I still didn’t understand.

  “He’s family and he needs us.”

  “Why? Why do I have to be there for him?” Even as I spoke, I felt the tears burning.

  “When he hasn’t been here for us. I’m the one who plays catch with Gavin. I’m the one who takes him to practice when you have to work late. I’m the one who is at all of his games. Not dad.”

  “You make it sound like you don’t have a life. How many boys have you dated in the last six months?”

  “What does that have to do with anything?”

  She took in a deep breath and looked at the ceiling as if I was the one who was being unreasonable here. “All I’m saying is the little bit you help with Gavin hasn’t kept you from being a teenager.”

  With my hands fisted on the tabletop, “What about Greg? Does Gavin realize that he’s not coming back?”

  She flinched. “This isn’t about Greg. Your father needs help and we’re not going to turn our backs on him. Maybe someday we can be a family again.”

  “We are a family with or without him. We have been.” We would have been an even better family with Greg and Evan. My dad didn’t fix my car or even take us for ice cream. He wasn’t the one who played Uno with us when we were snowed in.

  My mom’s attention fell behind me. I turned to see my dad standing there. He was so skinny and shaggy looking. He scratched his elbow and walked toward me. Gavin’s game blared from the living room.

  “I know. Your old man leaving was messed up,” he said

  “You have no idea how hard it was,” I said.

  “I’m sorry.”

  I sat there glaring for a minute, “Sometimes sorry isn’t enough.” Sorry wasn’t going to get back the last four years I had without a dad. Sorry wasn’t going to erase the memories of my mom spending weeks in her room crying while I took care of Gavin at twelve years old. I hated him for what he did to me, for what he did to my mom and Gavin.

  “I have a problem, Kacey.”

  “Don’t we all? 90 percent of mine are because of you.”

  “Kacey,” mom chided.

  My dad held his hand up. “I know I’m a piece of shit.” He looked at me with puppy dog eyes, only they were more like an old dog. The chair scraped on the floor when he pulled it out. Then he sat down, he put his hands on the table and folded them. “I got into some trouble.”

  Why did they both think this was my issue to deal with? I was the kid. In case they had forgotten.

  “Tony,” my mom said.

  “She’s old enough. You’re 15, right?”

  “Sixteen.” A father should know his own daughter’s age, shouldn’t he?

  He cleared his throat. “I know I went AWOL for like six months on you all, but there was a reason for it.”

  “Six months?” I shook my head. “You’ve barely been here for four years.” I couldn’t believe he was only talking about the last six months. The three and a half years before that he maybe called or showed up a dozen times, at most.

  “I was in rehab,” he said.

  “You’re an alcoholic?” I asked. Then glared at my mom. “Should he be around you?”

  “Kacey,” mom said exasperated.

  He looked at my mom and then shook his head. “It’s a little bit stronger than that.”

  “Drugs?”

  “I know I messed up, and I’m not blaming the substance. It was my choice to do it, but I want to make things right.”

  “How can you?” I needed him then, not now. “You can’t go back.”

  “Kacey,” my mom said again, “it wasn’t all him.”

  “What? He’s the one who left.”

  “I didn’t want you and Gavin to … to know. To be mixed up in it.”

  “I got help,” he shrugged.

  I glared at my mom. “So you kept him from us?”

  “It was my choice. The drugs or my family. I chose the drugs,” he said.

  My jaw clenched. All this time my mom acted like he’d just randomly got up and walked out on us one day. It wasn’t like that made what he did any better, but I had no idea she had been the reason he left.

  “It was what was best for you.”

  “Not having a dad?” I snapped at him. “You chose drugs over me?”

  My dad ran a hand over his face. “I know I’ll never get back that time lost, but I also learned that shouldn’t keep me from making things right as I move forward.”

  I looked at my mom, confused. “You’re taking him back?”

  She gave a slight shake of her head. “He’s just staying here until he can get on his feet.”

  “I don’t expect you to forgive me today, or even tomorrow, but all I ask is that you try.” His eyes were watery as he blinked.

  I didn’t want to try. He had his chance. He had plenty of time to choose us, four years. We were doing all right here without him. Why did he have to come back and ruin it all? “What about Greg?”

  “Who’s Greg?” My dad asked.

  “Greg’s going to be my step-dad.” Gavin came into the room. The surprise on my mom’s face told me she didn’t have a clue Greg had told us. Then Gavin, realizing his mistake, covered his mouth and said, “Oops.” He looked up at mom. “That was supposed to be a surprise.”

  “You’re getting married,” my dad asked.

  “Is Greg not going to be my dad now that my dad is back?” Gavin asked.

  My dad and Gavin peered at mom, both awaiting their answers.

  “I’m tired, I’m going to bed.” I said getting out of this one. I wasn’t going to help her, I’d done enough and she didn’t even care. She’d spent four years shielding us from him, but now all of a sudden it was okay for him to be here.

  I sat on my bed staring at my phone. I wanted to talk to Addi, but just like my dad she’d abandoned me too. The sad thing was, I didn’t want to talk to the Addi who’d said those horrible things to me. I wanted to talk to the Addi she was before. My best friend I could tell anything to. I hated that after a month of not talking to her, I still felt her absence every day. Maybe even more than I had felt my dad’s in the first few months that he was gone.

  I could call Jack, I knew he would listen, but I didn’t want that with him. I just wanted to laugh and make out and have fun. He didn’t need to hear my drama.

  I tossed my worthless phone on my nightstand and flopped back on my bed and pulled the cover over my head as if that would make everything go away. As if that would hide me from this craziness. My mom acting like my dad never left us. Acting like everything was okay now that he was back. Forgetting how we struggled. All because he claimed he was off drugs. Did that even matter now when he chose that over us for four entire years?

  My cell dinged. I wanted to ignore it, but I couldn’t. I tossed the covers off, and picked up the phone. It was Jack. Did you get in trouble?

  I sat the phone down without replying. I put my hands in my hair and wanted to scream, but that would only make my mom, or worse my dad run in here too. They were the last people I wanted to see. So instead, I texted Jack back with an All good here and a smiley face emoji.

  Chapter Thirty-six

  It was late, but I was still up when I heard the faint knock on my door. Dread hit me, I didn’t want to talk to my mom or my dad. But I got up and opened it anyway. It wasn’t my mom or dad. It was Gavin. He stood there in his pajamas that were too tight. His little shirt stretched across the belly. His hair was a wild mess, his eyes red, and his Yoda pillow was tucked under his arm. I felt bad that I hadn’t stayed downstairs with him earlier.

  “Gav, what’s up?”

  “Can I stay with you?” His voice shook and his lip puckered out. My heart broke.

  “Sure.” I motioned toward my bed. He climbed in. “Just don’t wet the
bed.”

  He furrowed his brow. “I don’t pee to bed.”

  I crawled beside him and wrapped my arm under his neck. He lay his head on my shoulder.

  He didn’t say anything at first. After dad left there were many nights he stayed in here with me, just like this. When we could hear mom crying, but she thought we were asleep. Finally, when I thought he was back to sleep, he said, “Will we ever see Greg and Evan again?”

  “I’m sure sometime.” But my heart hurt as the words left my mouth.

  “Why does everyone leave?”

  “I never left, mom never left.”

  He was quiet as if pondering, and then he said, “Cody did. And Addi.” The thought of Addi made it hard for me to breathe. “Is Jack going to leave?”

  My chest ached. “No.” Though now that he mentioned it, I wasn’t sure. How could I be? I wanted to reassure him, but I couldn’t even reassure myself.

  ***

  I successfully avoided my dad the rest of the weekend. At least my mom made him sleep on the sofa. Therefore, it didn’t seem permanent.

  But I also had avoided Jack.

  It didn’t take long for Jack to find me once I was in the school building though.

  “Hey.” I attempted a smile.

  He fell into stride beside me, then leaned down. “Are you mad at me?”

  “No.” I wasn’t. I was just scared … confused? I wasn’t sure what I was. I felt horrible treating him like this. I just needed space.

  “Are you sure? This isn’t one of those times I’m supposed to know what I did wrong? I’m not good at this.”

  “You’re an expert at everything else.” My smile was forced.

  He looked at me dumbfounded, his dark eyes blinking behind his glasses.

  I stopped at my locker and turned toward him. “I just have a lot going on at home right now. I’m not mad at you. I promise.”

  He stared at me for a minute, searching my eyes as if to figure out if I was lying or not. “Okay.”

  “Okay,” I said.

  Just as I was turning back to my locker, I noticed Addi without Tyler. Which was a change. Her head was down, and I couldn’t see her face. It made me wonder if they broke up again, but I refused to be the first person to talk. She knew me, she should have known I wouldn’t do that to her and all the other stuff she’d said about me.