Anything for Danny

by Carla Cassidy

  "Yes, we'll do that," Sherri promised.

  He pulled away from her and she looked into his eyes. They no longer held the deep torment, although there was a sadness she knew he would always carry…as would she.

  Before she had time to guess his intent, he reached out and touched her lips with his. She tasted his sorrow. She tasted his desperation. But most of all, she tasted his desire, and as he deepened the kiss, she could do nothing but respond.

  Chapter Ten

  She opened her mouth to him, yielding with all the love that she'd kept hidden deep inside…with all the love she had tried so hard to deny.

  With a groan he deepened the kiss, his tongue delving into her mouth in sweet, remembered intimacy. His arms pulled her closer…closer, until she was molded fully to his length. Without any conscious thought on her part, her body sought to accommodate the familiar contours of his.

  Someplace in the very back recesses of her mind, warning signals flashed and caution whispered urgently, but she ignored them all. She wanted to give herself over to the sensations his kiss evoked, the hot liquid fire he stirred as his hand cupped her bra over the material of her T-shirt.

  He no longer tasted of grief. Now his lips tasted only of fire…and passion and demand. She moaned with pleasure as he pushed her T-shirt up and moved his mouth down to cover her breast.

  She cradled his head, loving the feel of his tantalizing hot breath through the thin wispy silk of her bra. The erotic tongue-flicking caresses caused flames to ignite throughout her body.

  Luke. Luke. His name filled her head, her heart. Her enormous love for him expanded in her chest, burned at her eyes, caused a sob of pleasure to catch almost painfully in her throat. She arched against him, needing him, wanting him. And she could feel that he wanted her…needed her, too. His desire, ardent and potent against her only fed her own passion.

  When he reached behind her to unfasten her bra, she helped him, arching up to give him easier access to the snaps. Her breasts were freed from the confines of the bra, but were immediately recaptured by the warmth of his palms. His hands molded to her breasts' fullness, his thumbs moving to caress the turgid tips.

  He moved away from her only long enough to pull his shirt off. Sherri took the opportunity to take off her shirt, then pulled her bra off and flung it to the floor. He returned to her, reclaiming her lips once again as his broad bare chest pressed erotically against hers.

  She ran her hands across the broadness of his back, loving the various textures of his skin beneath her fingertips…the smooth, polished warmth of his shoulders, the hard muscles that radiated from the center of his back. She pressed herself closer, wanting to feel the teasing pressure of his chest against her own, loving the way his chest hair tormented the tips of her breasts. She wanted him to take her, wanted to make love with him again. So much time had passed, so much love filled her soul. She wanted him to take her, possess her forever.

  "Ah, Sherri," he breathed as his lips moved across the line of her jaw, down into the hollow of her neck. "Sweet, sweet Sherri," he murmured breathlessly. "You taste so good…you feel so right. I've missed you."

  She tangled her hands in the thickness of his hair. She shivered, lost in a haze of desire. Yes, it felt so right…the rightness of familiarity…the rightness of love. And she had missed him, too. She pulled him closer, amazed at how well they still fit.

  His tongue flicked at her breasts, teasing first one, then the other rosy tip. Sherri closed her eyes, wanting more…more. A strange contradiction of emotions swept through her. It was like making love with him for the very first time…yet she felt the comfort and easiness of a longtime lover.

  She danced her hands down his broad back, reveling in the remembered feel of his muscles. No awkward fumbling, no cautious touches…they were perfectly attuned to each other's wants. It was as if all the years apart fell away, disappeared in a single caress.

  She moaned as his lips returned to take hers in a kiss that stole her breath, plundered her soul. She matched him caress for caress, kiss for kiss.

  "Sherri…Sherri…" He repeated her name reverently. "Marry me," he whispered urgently against her neck. "Marry me."

  For a moment, she wondered if she'd only imagined the words. She struggled to surface from the fog of passion that made thinking so difficult. "Wha-what?" She pushed against him, looking at him in confusion.

  He took her by the shoulders, his eyes fervent, aglow with desire. "Let's get married again. Let's do it, Sherri."

  She stared at him, hope crescendoing inside her as his words wrapped around her, seeped through her. "You're crazy," she whispered incredulously, so afraid to hope…afraid to dream.

  "What's so crazy about it? We're good together. Let's give Danny what he really wants. The two of us together again. Let's do it for him," Luke said.

  The hope immediately fluttered and died in her chest and was replaced with a dull, hollow ache. She scooted away from him and off the edge of the bed. "That's not a good idea, Luke. Just because we're good together in bed isn't a reason to rush to the nearest justice of the peace." Her voice shook and tears burned sharply at her eyes. "Sooner or later, we'll have to get out of bed."

  She reached down to the floor and picked up her bra. Everything suddenly felt wrong…so wrong. "None of this has been a good idea," she said. Her fingers trembled as she resnapped the bra and grabbed her T-shirt. "I think we let our emotions over Danny get all twisted and out of control. To take this any further would be an even bigger mistake."

  Luke sat up and stared at her for a long moment. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, then looked at her once again. "Yeah, I guess you're probably right," he finally conceded. He smiled, a small twist of his lips. "But it's still good between us."

  "Yes, it is." She didn't have the energy or the strength to argue against what was true. "It will probably always be good between us…but that doesn't make it right."

  She turned away, unable to look at him any longer, her heart breaking all over again. She heard him get up off the bed and jumped as he placed his hands on her shoulders. He turned her around, forcing her to look up at him.

  "I always heard that asking a woman to marry you was a sure way to get her into bed. Nobody will ever believe that when I asked you, it made the lovemaking stop." He smiled teasingly and she knew he was working to get their relationship back on less dangerous ground.

  "You know me, perverse to the end," she said with forced jauntiness.

  He looked at her for another long moment, then touched the tip of her nose and released her. "I think I'll go ahead and go to bed."

  "Yes, me, too. I want to be up early in the morning to go in and find out if Danny will be released."

  Sherri went into the bathroom to change into her nightshirt. She stood before the mirror and stared at her reflection. Her hair was wild around her head and her lips were swollen and bruised-looking.

  She looked like a woman who'd just been thoroughly loved. And for the last three weeks, they had all looked like a real family. It was amazing how perceptions and reality could be so different.

  She turned away from the mirror, afraid that if she looked any longer she would see a woman crying and she'd shed quite enough tears over Luke.

  When she left the bathroom, Luke was settled into the upper bunk. She turned out the light and got into her own bed.

  She lay on her back, staring up at the underneath of his bed, her body still entertaining the lingering effects of his potent caresses. She reached up and touched the springs of his bunk, pangs of wistfulness creating a void inside her.

  How she had wanted to give in to him, to make love with him. She'd wanted to feel his total possession of her, revel in the wonder of the physical act of love. Her heart, her body, her soul cried out with wanting him.

  When he'd spoken those words…marry me…her heart had momentarily stopped and she'd had to fight with herself not to say yes.

  She wanted to be married to him again, wanted to try
it all over again with him. However, she wanted him to want her for his sake…not for Danny's. The words marry me could be an elixir for the heart if they were followed by the words I love you. But they shouldn't be followed by for Danny's sake.

  It was happening all over again. She loved him, and the pain of that love was like an arrow in her side. Losing him the first time had been difficult enough. She had a horrible feeling that she would never really be over Luke.

  They had forgotten to turn out the Christmas-tree lights, and from the bed she could see them dancing merrily in the darkness. Merry Christmas, Sherri, she told herself. The day that had begun with such laughter, such promise had ended with heartache.

  She squeezed her eyes tightly closed and turned over on her stomach. She buried her head into the softness of her pillow and discovered she hadn't lost her knack for weeping silently in the darkness of the night.

  * * *

  "How you doing, partner?" Sherri looked back to where Danny was coloring a picture at the table.

  "I'm okay." He looked up at her and smiled. "And you've asked me that a zillion times since day before yesterday."

  "That's a mother's job," Sherri teased, "to drive their children crazy by overworrying."

  "You do your job good," Danny replied with a giggle, then refocused his attention on his picture.

  Sherri turned around in her chair and looked out the window. The landscape was becoming familiar. They would be home in a couple of hours.

  Already a bittersweet pang winged through her and she knew she would never be able to look back on this particular vacation without feeling a mixture of incredible joy and overwhelming sadness.

  She cherished the time spent as a family, would hold those memories close to her heart. But the sadness would always come when she thought of Luke and this time spent with him. She'd rediscovered her love for him, only to feel the pain of loss once again.

  "Anxious to get back home?" he asked her, not taking his eyes off the road they traveled.

  "Not exactly anxious, but I am ready to get back to a more normal routine," she said. She smiled. "You know how I love my routines and structure." He smiled in return and she tilted her head, studying his profile. "What about you? Anxious to get back?"

  He shrugged. "I suppose I'm ready to get back." He cast her a sideways glance. "Although these past three weeks have been wonderful."

  She nodded and refocused her attention out the window. Yes, they had been wonderful and stimulating weeks, and horrible all at the same time.

  For the last three days, since Danny had been released from the clinic, Luke and Sherri had gone back to their "safe" relationship. They were friendly, pleasant to each other, but barriers had been erected. For Sherri, the barriers were defensive. She knew she couldn't let him into her heart any more deeply than he was. It was already going to be difficult enough to heal from the scars this trip had wrought.

  It seemed as if all too soon and not soon enough they pulled to a halt in the parking lot of Luke's apartment building. "I'd like Danny to come over and spend next weekend with me. Would that be all right?" Luke asked as he shut off the engine.

  "Certainly," Sherri agreed.

  "What do you say, sport? Want to spend next weekend with me? I should have all the pictures developed by then and we can put together a photo album of the trip."

  "Sure," Danny agreed instantly. "That would be cool. Then can I bring the album home so Mom can see the pictures?"

  "Of course you can," Luke agreed.

  "Here, I made pictures for you and Mom." Danny handed them each a picture he'd drawn. "It's a picture of me…when I'm an angel."

  Sherri looked down at the picture of the little boy standing on a fluffy white-crayoned cloud, huge wings stretching out on either side of him.

  Her heart squeezed painfully in her chest. She looked at Luke and knew he had a lump in his throat the same size as hers. "It's a beautiful picture," Sherri finally said.

  "And see the smile on my face?" Danny asked. "I'll be smiling all the time when I get my angel wings."

  Luke nodded. "It's a fine picture, son." He stepped out of the motor home and Danny followed him.

  "Then I guess I'll see you next weekend," Danny said and threw his arms around Luke's neck. Luke picked up his son and Danny wrapped his legs around his father's waist. For a moment, they merely held each other, their love a palpable thing between them.

  Sherri felt a stinging mist of tears at her eyes as she watched father and son say goodbye. Their love for each other was so strong, and she knew how difficult it was for each of them to part, if only for a few days.

  The vacation was truly over. Time to get back to reality, and reality was Luke as a weekend father and Sherri as a weekday mother. Back to separate lives, separate beds and separate dreams.

  Luke released Danny and stepped away. He gave Sherri a jaunty salute, then slung his duffel bag over his shoulder and turned and walked away. As Sherri watched, she realized that with him he took her heart.

  It could have been different, a small voice whispered inside. You could have agreed to marry him again. However, despite the pain in her heart, she knew the decision she'd made was a good one…the right one.

  If they remarried for Danny's sake, and Danny didn't have a forever, then neither could their marriage. She couldn't go through it again. She couldn't marry him, live with him day in and day out, love him and have it all end once more. She was afraid she wouldn't survive it again. It was better this way…better for all of them.

  * * *

  "When are you gonna get cable?" Danny asked as he pointed the remote control and changed the channels on the television.

  "I don't know…sometime soon," Luke answered as he took the popcorn out of the microwave and dumped it into a bowl. He carried the bowl into the living room and plopped next to his son on the futon. "Surely you can find something you want to watch," he observed.

  Danny made another round of the channels, then clicked off the television. "Let's look at the pictures again."

  Luke grinned and rubbed his knuckles across the soft hair on Danny's head. Since their return from their trip a month ago, he'd sprouted a healthy head of new hair. "Okay." He got up and grabbed the photo album from the bookshelf, then rejoined his son. "Although I'd think you would have them all memorized by now."

  "I just like looking at them," Danny said, opening the album and thumbing through the pictures.

  It was all there, a chronicle of their trip together. Picture after picture of special moments saved on celluloid. Luke looked over Danny's shoulder, his gaze lingering on the photos of Sherri.

  When Danny reached the end of the photographs, he closed the album and looked around. "When are you gonna get some new furniture? You need some drawers for all those clothes." He wrinkled up his nose and pointed to the pile of clothing in the corner. "This place is a mess."

  "Soon," Luke replied. "I've been so busy at the studio, I haven't had time to go furniture shopping. And maybe I should hire a maid."

  Danny was silent for a moment. He grabbed a handful of popcorn and popped several kernels in his mouth, crunching thoughtfully. "So when are you and Mom going to get remarried?" he asked suddenly.

  Luke looked at him in surprise. "What on earth makes you think that's even a possibility?" he asked incredulously.

  Danny shrugged. "You still love her."

  "What makes you think I still love her?"

  Danny looked at him as if Luke were a complete dunce. "Every time I come over here, you spend the first hour asking me all kinds of questions about her, and that one night when I told you she had a date, you got a real mean look on your face."

  Luke sighed, remembering that night quite well. He'd been surprised at the emotions that had pounded through him when he'd heard Sherri had a date. "Danny, even if I did still love your mother, that doesn't automatically mean we're going to get remarried. There are other things to consider."

  "Like what other things?" Danny rolled
over on his stomach, propped his hands beneath his chin and looked at Luke intently.

  Luke felt the warmth of a flush cover his face. "I don't know…things…"

  Danny rolled his eyes. "You grown-ups make everything so hard. What kind of things could be more important than loving each other? She still loves you."

  Luke's heart missed a beat. "How do you know that?"

  Danny crunched a few more pieces of popcorn. "She looks at you like she looks at me, and I know she loves me, so she must love you. Besides, she always asks me questions about you, too." Danny shook his head. "I just don't understand grown-ups. I don't understand what you and Mom are waiting for." He looked at Luke soberly. "You know, it's not like I'm going to be around forever."

  Luke stared at his son for a long moment, his heart seeming to stop momentarily in its beating. "Uh…I need a drink of water." Luke got up and went into the kitchen, standing thoughtfully against the sink. What was he waiting for? Danny's question reverberated around in his head. Marry Sherri? Why not? He did love her, perhaps had never stopped loving her. And even if he had briefly stopped loving her, it didn't matter. At some point during their trip he had fallen irrevocably back in love with her. Looking at those pictures of her, remembering those moments they had spent together had caused regret to surge within him. He wanted her back in his life…not for three weeks, but forever. And Danny was right, he wasn't going to be around forever. Nor did Luke know with certainty how much time anyone on earth had.

  He walked back into the living room and faced his son. "Danny, how would you like to go next door and stay with Bill and Linda for a little while?"

  "What are you going to do?" Danny asked curiously.

  "I think maybe it's time your mother and I had a long talk."

  Danny grinned and stood up. "Well, it's about time," he exclaimed.

  Minutes later, with Danny staying at his neighbors, Luke drove toward Sherri's house. Was Danny right? Did Sherri still love him?