All My Love, Detrick

by Kagan, Roberta

  “Thank you, Papa,” she said as she closed the door.

  A cold wind blew across the road, and a gust of snow whipped across her legs. Leah pulled her scarf tighter as she strode towards the ladies' garment shop. She hated to spend her father’s hard earned wages, but she could not attend such a fancy gala without something appropriate.

  As she passed the bakery, she glanced across the street. A warm flush crept over her cheeks when she saw Detrick walking in the other direction. Accompanied by a short slender man with thick glasses, Detrick strolled slowly along the cobblestone sidewalk. Leah’s tried, but could not force herself to look away before her eyes met Detrick’s. The powerful magnetism of their attraction caused her knees to give way. She stood still unable to move, memorized for a moment, and then began to tread quickly away, turning her head towards the store windows. Detrick’s penetrating, endless blue eyes shook something deep within her like an internal earthquake, making her unsteady on her feet. A hot torrent of energy tore through her, and she no longer felt the cold.

  What is this I am doing? Thoughts and questions came rushing through Leah’s mind. Even if I ended things with Lewis, and I would be foolish to do such a thing, and then, even more consumed by madness, if I explored these wild feelings I have for Detrick, the law would forbid it. This entire situation is perilous. I must force it from my mind. She realized all of this, but try as she might, those blue eyes burned, imprinting her soul.

  Across the road, Detrick and Konrad continued toward home, Konrad talking all the while.

  “I am doing well with the party, Detrick, you should consider joining. Once we purge the world of Jews, homosexuals, gypsies, and other racial impurities, the Aryans like us will take our rightful place.” Konrad’s scarf had been blown away from his throat by a gust of snowy wind. With a single twist, he rewrapped the brown wool muffler his grandmother had knitted for him. Then he continued speaking.

  Detrick did not hear him. Once his eyes caught sight of Leah, they could not be diverted from the vision that captivated him across the street. His ears went deaf to Konrad’s ramblings. Her soft features held him imprisoned as his heart raced like a runaway train. His knees felt weak as he looked at her ivory skin, the color of blush roses from the cold.

  “Detrick, you’re not listening to me.”

  “What? I’m sorry, Konrad, what is it?” Detrick’s tone of voice bore his annoyance at being disturbed by Konrad’s insistent chatter.

  “I am trying to tell you that you should become a part of the new Germany. WE are now in power.”

  “Konrad, I’m not interested in this nonsense. I don’t know why you refuse to understand.”

  “I don’t understand because Hitler has made it so that you, a true Aryan, can excel beyond your wildest dreams. You, my friend, can have all the things the Jews had…all of their money, their homes, their businesses. They rightfully belong to you anyway, because it is your birthright as an Aryan.”

  “Please stop already. It is not your right to take anything that doesn’t belong to you.”

  “But it does it belongs to us….all of us Aryans - people like you and me. That’s what you don’t seem to comprehend. All of the natural resources of this country belong to us. The Aryans. THEY have stolen them. Now don’t tell me you are still friendly with that man you used to work for. Or are you still working for him? It is against the law for you to be employed by a Jew.”

  Since the passing of the Nuremburg laws, Detrick and Jacob had collaborated to keep his employment at the shop a secret.

  “No, I am not working there anymore. I’ve been spending most of my time trying to train for the Olympics.”

  “That’s good, you will make Hitler proud.”

  Detrick looked away in disgust.

  Chapter 18

  “That dress is stunning on you.” The meticulously groomed woman, well past her prime, smiled as she studied Leah in a deep burgundy satin gown.

  “You don’t think it’s too much. I mean the color is so vivid.” Leah frowned at her reflection.

  “Do you want to look washed out? No, of course not; you want to stand out. Oy, your mother must be so proud…her daughter invited to the home of the Shapiros. Do you think maybe marriage is in your future?”

  “I don’t know, Mrs. Licktenbaum. I realize he is quite the catch. Everyone has told me so, but somehow I just don’t feel the magic…you know?”

  “Magic? Who needs magic? You’ve got a Shapiro, the son of a surgeon. And someday he’ll take over his father’s practice and you…well, you’ll be set for life.” Mrs Licktenbaum adjusted a bobby pin in her neat gray bun.

  “I suppose so. I mean it would be good for my family. And he is a nice fellow, even if he does talk about himself constantly.”

  “So what should he talk about? That’s the way men are. Don’t fret…just be your pretty little self, Leah.”

  Leah had known Esther Licktenbaum as far back as she could remember. In more prosperous times, before Michael's accident, her mother, Miriam, had been a frequent visitor to the ladies' boutique.

  Once, when the Licktenbaums had an emergency and there had been no one to baby sit for Esther’s granddaughter, Leah had offered her services as a favor so that the family could attend a funeral.

  “I don’t know, Mrs. Licktenbaum. I thought something in a midnight blue might stand out less.”

  “I don’t know why a girl as pretty as you are should want to hide in the corner, but…very well. If you would be more comfortable then let me show you what I have.”

  Leah settled on a satin indigo gown. With a sweetheart neckline and a straight skirt, it hugged her slender figure to perfection.

  “Well, my dear I must admit you’re right; this is a sophisticated dress. I like it on you.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I am.”

  “Me too,” Leah smiled, hugged the older woman, and went back to change into her own clothes.

  Chapter 19

  Disappointed that he had not been chosen for the upcoming Olympics, but resolved to put forth an even stronger effort, Detrick practiced running track outside at the park, regardless of the cold. Daily, he ran. On the afternoons that he worked, he stopped afterwards to dash around the track a few times, in order to keep up his momentum. Neither darkness nor weather would deter him. He’d failed to make it into the Olympics, which would begin in August. The others he’d been training with who had also been rejected had quit. But he charged forward with firm determination to compete in the next set of games that would take place in 1940.

  As Detrick finished working on replacing a bicycle tire one winter night, he decided to walk by the park on his way home and run a few laps.

  He did not tell Jacob that he planned to train that evening; if he had, he knew that Jacob would have insisted he leave with enough time to finish before nightfall. Too often the man had paid him for a full day and insisted that he stop work early in order to meet with his coach. Detrick knew how much Jacob cared for him, and he made a special effort not to take advantage of the affection they shared.

  The sun set, making the frigid winds even more penetrating as Detrick ran, his breath turning white in the winter air. Good sense told him that he must stop soon, for darkness covered the park, and he could scarcely see his way. Just another half hour, he promised himself. But that turned into another hour, and then two. So many of the others on his team had suffered the same rejection and no longer practiced. They’d given up, but Detrick would not quit. He harnessed all of his inner strength, surpassing this failure, to become an even finer athlete.

  Stopping for a moment, he rubbed his gloved hands together to warm them. He bent at the waist and stretched; then, taking a few deep breaths, he began to run again.

  Chapter 20

  When Leah came out of her room, Lewis saw her and it took his breath away. Stunned by her beauty, he could only stare with his mouth slightly open. She smiled at him and decided he appeared handsome in his black tuxedo. Ja
cob had just arrived home from work and he watched his daughter in awe as the couple entered Lewis’ automobile. Perhaps the two will marry, he thought. It would be good for Leah. After all, Lewis had plenty of money. However, Jacob’s keen sense detected something missing in his daughter’s eyes. If Leah married Lewis, would she be happy? Did she love him? Jacob sighed to himself, unsure of the answer as he watched the car turn the corner.

  To reach the ballroom in the Shapiro home, Lewis lead Leah up a winding staircase. When she entered she stopped for a moment, allowing her gaze to fall upon the room, taking in the splendor. Never had she seen such opulence. The white marble floor was veined with silver gray. The entire room was lit by real crystal chandeliers and boasted a dance area the size of her entire house. Tables to accommodate one hundred guests had been set surrounding a ten-piece orchestra of men and women all wearing black. Music played as white-gloved waiters passed hors d'oeuvres. And the guests, magnificent in their exquisite attire, waltzed with the ease of those who attended these formal parties regularly.

  Upon seeing her adored son enter the room, Mrs. Shapiro rushed to greet him. An overly gay smile plastered on her face contrasted the scrutinizing disapproval her eyes betrayed as she studied Leah.

  “Good evening, Mother. This is Leah Abdenstern.”

  “Good evening, Mrs. Shaprio. I am so honored to be invited to attend your party.”

  “Indeed. Well….very well, then…Lewis, why don’t you take your friend and get her something to drink.”

  Lewis nodded. He knew his mother well enough to detect the true feelings that lay just beneath the surface of her demeanor, and they only formalized what he’d expected all along. She would not easily grant Leah entrance to their world. He’d orchestrated this meeting in feeble hopes of an unexpected outcome. But she’d responded as he’d feared she would. If only he had someone to go to who would understand, but his father brought nothing to the equation. Too busy with his professional life, his wife steered the family’s social ship, and he gladly trailed along.

  As Leah danced gracefully in his arms, Lewis came to a decision. This affair with Leah must end, but first he’d wasted far too much time not to seize the prize he’d worked so hard for. Tonight, following the celebration, he planned to bed her.

  He smiled as he looked down at her brown hair; the golden highlights sparkling in the light of the chandelier. The music stopped and the couple finished dancing.

  Lewis squeezed her just slightly. “I think they are calling us to dinner.”

  Pushing away gently, she held his hand and they took their places at the table.

  The dinner could not have been more scrumptious. The festivities, fine-tuned by Mrs. Shapiro’s experienced hand, went off without a hitch.

  Following an evening of grace and finery fit for a princess in a fairy tale, Lewis escorted Leah back to his automobile.

  Although it felt much later, Lewis’ watch read nine o’clock. He did not need to return Leah to her home until eleven. This gave him plenty of time.

  On a side road, Lewis found a dark deserted area where he put the auto in park and turned it off. He reached for Leah and kissed her. She put her arms around him as one of his hands reached beneath her coat in search of her breast and the other slithered up her thigh.

  “Lewis, no. Please. I’m not ready.”

  “And when do you think you might be ready? We’ve been dating for a long time and you always stop me. Not tonight, sweetheart. It’s time we took the next step.”

  His hand slid into her panties. She moved away quickly. He caught her with his other arm and pulled her back so roughly that she felt her neck snap.

  “I said no, Lewis!” Although she tried to sound strong and firm, her voice cracked with indignation as she fought to hide the tears that threatened to betray her weakness.

  “Who the hell do you think you are? You are more than lucky to be seeing someone like me. I guess you need to be reminded that you are a nothing. A nobody. Just a girl with a pretty face. No class, no background. There are millions like you who would be more than willing to solidify a relationship with a fellow like me.”

  “Date them, then. I will not allow you to talk to me in this manner, Lewis.”

  “And what do you think you can do about it?” He grasped her slender shoulder and then tried to pull her toward him again. With all the strength she could muster, she shook herself free.

  “Leave now. Get out of my car.”

  And she did. The car door squeaked open. Without looking back, Leah stepped out into the darkness. The freezing air slapped her face. Her heart sank as she looked down at her high-heeled shoes. Walking home would be difficult, but she could not, would not, get back into that car. She began to march towards home, trying not to slip on the icy patches, while Lewis, filled with fury, sped away.

  Her anger gave her strength. The floor-length dress she wore now felt cumbersome as she fought the slippery, snow-covered walkways. Spots of ice lay hiding beneath the white powder. She slid and, catching herself, Leah looked around her. Artic wind rushed across the landscape, catching her hair and slapping it back from her face. A shiver ran down her spine as she realized just how difficult it would be for her to get home on foot. Gusts of snow began to fall from the dark, starlit sky. With Lewis’ car nowhere to be seen, and save for a few streetlights, the dark night enveloping her like a shroud, Leah felt completely alone, vulnerable and lost. Fear now obliterated her rage, and she bit her lip as tears froze on her eyelashes.

  Some of the homes she passed on her way had dim lights shining safely within. Leah longed to be in her own house with her family beside her, instead of alone and abandoned on this unfamiliar street.

  Walking a little further, the neighborhood park came into view. She felt some relief as she recognized the area. Only a few lights remained over the playground. The rest of the park lay covered in blackness, spreading out into an ominous empty and deserted area. The desolation all around her touched a nerve, and she hurried to turn the corner. A soft voice whispered in her mind, "Hurry, Leah, it’s not safe here." Her heart began to race. Sweat formed in her armpits. Now there were no more houses, only open fields. She walked faster and her heel hit a patch of ice. Stumbling and tripping, she fell. Fortunately, she’d fallen on a grassy surface. Nausea played havoc with her stomach as it accompanied the thumping of her heart in her eardrums. Something felt wrong.

  Terror gripped her.

  And then, as a shiver ran its fingers across her shoulder blades, she saw them, a group of three men in their early twenties. Their voices echoed through the eerie, quiet streets as they sang the popular tune, “When Jewish Blood Spurts from My Knife.” A thin line of smoke followed the cigarette one of the men puffed while the others passed a bottle wrapped in brown paper.

  And then they noticed Leah. One of them let out a cat call while the others laughed. It became clear to her that they’d been drinking for a while and were now quite drunk. The one who’d made the vulgar sounds eyed her approvingly as if she would make a luscious meal. He nodded and motioned towards the other two, who followed behind him.

  “Good evening, Frauline. What are you doing out alone in the dark…and all dressed for a party?” Clearly the person in charge, he smiled; his eyes, glazed over with drink, glittered at her. Then he grinned back at his friends who offered support.

  “She’s a pretty one, isn’t she?” he asked the other two.

  “Yes, Reinhart, she’s pleasing to the eye.”

  “We shall have some fun tonight, I think.

  The others followed Reinhart’s lead as they circled her. Leah’s heart beat furiously, and in spite of the cold, the sweat now trickled down her face. With a confidence she did not feel, she pushed the smallest of the bunch out of her way and tried to elbow through. Reinhart grabbed her arm and spun her around. She lost her balance as her ankle twisted. As she tumbled over, Leah heard her dress tear. Then her palm scraped as it hit the cobblestone walk.

  “Please,” she
begged, knowing even as she did that they enjoyed her fear.

  Like predators who had conquered their prey, the boys fell upon her. One ripped the slit of her gown to her waist. Another tore the buttons off of her coat as he forced it open. With both hands, Leah tried to pull her coat closed. Angered by her resistance, Reinhart slapped her across the face. The sting of the slap caught her unaware. Instantly she let go to reach up and grab her cheek. As she did the smallest of the boys tore the bodice of her dress open. He smiled, licking his lips as he revealed her modest white bra. Then Reinhart pulled until the hooks at the back gave way. Shame now mingled with her terror. Leah had never been naked in the presence of a man. The tears poured out of her control as she fought to free herself. But this small girl proved no match for three strong men. At first, they found her struggle amusing. But as she continued, Reinhart became annoyed.

  “Kill her when we’re done. We don’t need her going to the police.” Reinhart ordered the two thugs who he knew would honor his wishes.

  ‘Police, you are not serious? Look—” One of the men tore the star of David from her neck “She’s a Jew. We can do as we please with her, and if she keeps giving us trouble, I will kill her - unless, of course, you want to kill her for the thrill of it.”

  “No, Helut. Not yet, first let’s have some fun. Both of you, hold her down, pull her legs apart and make sure she doesn’t move,” Reinhart said.

  Fat and sweating, Reinhart took Leah’s coat, and using it to shelter his knees from the harsh stone walk he knelt above her. Leah fought, twisting against the force of the men, to no avail. With a single motion Reinhart unzipped his pants and pulled out his hard member. Leah felt she might vomit as she smelled the alcohol mingled with his perspiration. She grew frantic and fought with her entire being, but the grip of the others grew tighter. Until now, she dared not scream. Being a Jew, if she were to alert anyone, she would surely be blamed for what was taking place, and worse would fall upon her and her family. However, lying in the snow, held down and about to be raped, she could no longer contain herself. A cry of fear escaped her lips. Then another even louder. She shook her head from side to side. The rest of her body remained captive in their grasp. Reinhart took a pocket knife from his pants and cut her panties. The shrieks of terror consumed her as they filled the street.