All My Love, Detrick

by Kagan, Roberta

“The women were separated from us when we got here.” Ebner bit his fingernail.

  “I know, I saw them send a group of females to the other side when we first arrived. I think there is a women’s camp there.”

  “Yes, I believe you’re right. I wish I hadn’t agreed to this. I didn’t think we would be caught.” Herr Mueller sat with his arms crossed over his chest. “I’ve destroyed my family, and for what?”

  “I could say I am grateful to you.”

  “Don’t bother. I would rather you just leave me alone. When I look at you I think about what I’ve done and I feel sick.”

  Jacob nodded, got up, and went back to his own space.

  He could not help but wonder where Leah had been taken, if she lived, or if they’d killed her. And Detrick - Jacob knew his crime was punishable by death. He shook his head in despair. Jacob sat in his tiny corner in the dirty barracks of Bergen-Belsen…powerless.

  Chapter 150

  Switzerland

  Although time ticked away and, with it, the precious moments of safety, Detrick could not bear to awaken Leah. She was exhausted; the ordeal had taken a toll on her. But he knew if he were to succeed in his mission, he must leave soon. Once again he studied her face, so relaxed, the pain he’d seen earlier now diminished. Careful not to awaken her, he loosened himself from their intertwining limbs. He stood up and stretched, fighting the need for sleep. Then Detrick went over to the desk, sat down, and began to pen a letter.

  After he’d finished, he folded the paper and sealed it in an envelope he found in the desk drawer. Then, regretfully, he knew he must rouse Leah.

  A gentle kiss upon her cheek and a loving hand across her hair awakened her. She smiled and pulled him to her. They kissed, but before the passion could consume him, Detrick pulled away. He could not stay any longer.

  “Leah, darling, listen to me.” Detrick took her hand in his, caressing the pale skin with his thumb. “I must go. Your father is in Bergen-Belsen. I found the files in Konrad’s office.”

  Ashamed, Leah looked away. For the last few hours she’d been so happy that she’d forgotten Jacob. Now Detrick planned to leave her and re-enter Nazi Germany. The risk to his life would be grave. Selfishly, she longed to beg him not to go, to stay with her, here in the safety of this little room that had come to represent heaven. Right now he stood before her, his body within her grasp, his eyes fixed upon hers. Once he walked out that door, she would wait, consumed with distress until he returned.

  But her father, her kind and loving father, remained a prisoner in a horrendous concentration camp. The Nazis could very well be torturing him right now. The nausea she’d been feeling for the last several weeks since she realized she was pregnant flooded through her. Swallowing hard, she tried without success to avoid vomiting, but in the end she knelt over the toilet with Detrick holding her hair.

  After she emptied her stomach, he helped her back to the bed, where she sat down with him beside her.

  “I’m terrified, Detrick. I want to beg you not to go, but I can’t. Oh, Detrick. Oh, dear God.” She wept and wept. The tears filled her face and dripped down onto the sheets. Watching her, his heart broke into as many pieces as the glass he’d shattered during their wedding ceremony.

  “Leah, what can I do? I must save your father if I can. We could never be happy and enjoy our child if we let him die there.”

  She nodded, her hands covering her face.

  He gently pried her fingers away from her cheeks and lifted her chin so that their eyes met.

  His eyes, as blue and deep as the ocean, looked into hers with serious intent. “I love you, Leah. I want you to tell me that you know that I love you.”

  “I know, Detrick. I know.”

  “I’ve left a letter on the desk. Beside the envelope, you will find a good sum of money. I took a few reichsmarks with me to bribe the guards at Bergen-Belsen; otherwise, that is everything I have. Wait several days. If I do not return, then open the letter and read it.

  “Detrick…I love you.”

  They kissed. He held her tightly, so tightly that she stopped breathing for a moment. When her breath resumed, she inhaled the sweet, fragrant peppermint. Tears filled her eyes, threating to spill over her face. Then he released her. He smiled, and she felt the emptiness begin when she saw that familiar blond hair fall over his left eye as he walked out of the hotel room.

  Chapter 151

  Bergen-Belsen Concentration Camp

  Detrick raced the car at top speed until he reached his destination. As he received approval from the guard, he entered the barbed-wire fence and drove directly to the main building. On either side of him, Detrick saw broken men wearing gray striped uniforms, their eyes vacant as if they were already dead. Since it was Sunday, the odds that Konrad had already been contacted by the officials at Ravensbrook were slim. Sometime tomorrow the telephone call to Konrad would be made, and Detrick’s actions uncovered. But if all went according to plan, he and Jacob would be well across the border by then.

  Behind a large steel door stood the guard he would have to convince to release Jacob into his custody. Once again, as he did for Leah, Detrick steeled himself and entered the office building.

  “Heil Hitler.” A perky blonde with wavy hair, like an American sex symbol, sat at the desk smiling a white-toothed smile, clearly attracted to the young officer. “How can I help you?”

  Detrick assumed his most charming grin. “I have a letter here from my superior, Obersfuehrer Klausen. He is giving a bicycle race in honor of the Fuehrer next week. I have been sent to retrieve a mechanic who is known to be a wizard with bicycles. Obersfuehrer Klausen wants to keep him on hand throughout the race in case any of the machinery breaks down.”

  “That’s a fine idea. What’s the prisoner’s name?”

  Detrick opened the paper and pretended to read the name “Jacob Abdenstern…from Berlin?”

  “Any idea when he might have arrived here?”

  “Quite recently I believe.”

  She took the paper from Detrick’s hand. “I will have to get approval to release him. It may take several hours.”

  “Must you? I am in a terrible hurry. Can you just send for him, and later, give the letter to your superior officer? I’m sure there won’t be a problem.”

  “Well, I don’t know. I mean, I don’t think I should.”

  “What’s your name?”

  “Lydia, and yours?”

  “I’m Detrick. Lydia, perhaps if you would help me, I could drive this prisoner back to Berlin, and then, once I’ve delivered him, I would like to come back here and take you to dinner as thanks for your cooperation. You see, my promotion is involved.”

  “Oh, I understand. But I don’t know, Detrick. I don’t want to get into trouble.”

  “You won’t…a girl as pretty as you? What kind of boss could stay mad at you for very long? I know I couldn’t.”

  She smiled.

  “Come on, please, help me get this promotion. I promise you a lovely evening in exchange, Frauline.” Detrick could not believe the words that came from his own mouth.

  “Oh, very well.” She lifted the telephone receiver. “Send the prisoner Jacob Abdenstern to the main office immediately.”

  When Jacob walked into the room and saw Detrick, joy came over him, the likes of which he’d never known before.

  “Get in the car, Jew.” He turned to the girl. “Goodbye, Lydia and thank you. I will be in contact with you in the next few days. And we’ll have that dinner.”

  She nodded watching as Detrick’s hair fell over his eye.

  Detrick grabbed Jacob’s arm and forced him into the back seat. Then jumping into the front, he turned the key in the ignition, forcing the auto to spring to life.

  Jacob breathed a sigh of relief as Detrick waved to the guard who opened the gate, allowing them to pass through the door and out of Bergen-Belsen.

  “Are you alright?”

  “Yes, yes, I’m fine. Have you found Leah?”

&n
bsp; “Yes, she is in Switzerland awaiting our return.”

  “Praise God.”

  “Change into the civilian clothes that are under the seat. Then look for a small paper bag. Inside the sack you’ll find a hunk of bread and some cheese. There is also a canteen filled with water. I’m sure you’re hungry.”

  “Yes, very, but now, even more than I am hungry, I am happy.” And he was filled with gratitude to be alive, but a nagging guilt fluttered like a bumble bee in the back of his mind. Jacob could not forget the face of Benny, the young boy who lay starving beside him in Bergen-Belsen, or the memory of the Mueller family and how distraught Ebner had been when he’d last seen him, or even the bitter old Hungarian who’d accused him of thinking himself superior. And the rabbi, what of the rabbi? What would become of them? Try as he might, he could not push the images of them from his mind.

  Detrick, in his haste, had forgotten to include a hat, and when he saw Jacob’s hair had been shaved, it concerned him for a moment. But once Jacob had exchanged the uniform for a simple shirt and slacks, he looked no different from any other German father accompanying his son.

  As they drove in silence for a while, Jacob seemed lost in thought, gazing out the window.

  “You should not have come back for me. You and Leah were safe and together. You know I wanted that.”

  “I had to. You have been my real father, ever since that day so long ago when you fixed my bicycle.”

  “I remember. You were little and scared.”

  “And you rescued me.”

  Jacob smiled with the memory. “And now, you rescue me.”

  For several minutes they both fell silent as they recalled that fateful day so many years ago.

  “Jacob? I have something to tell you.”

  “Yes.”

  “You’re going to be a grandfather.”

  Tears fell from Jacob's eyes, and he wiped them with the back of his hand. He was so overcome that he could not speak.

  Chapter 152

  Berlin

  Afflicted with a two day hangover, Konrad felt as if an elf played drums inside of his head. He’d slept most of the day on Saturday, and finally awakened late Sunday afternoon. The gathering on Friday night had given him the opportunity to meet and mingle with more important party members than he’d originally anticipated, and therefore, he’d deemed it a success.

  Konrad slowly sipped on a glass of water. Perhaps a good meal would diminish this powerful headache. Rather than eat alone, he telephoned a friend and invited him to a local restaurant. They made arrangements to meet for an early dinner. Then, still feeling under the weather, Konrad regulated the water in the shower to a tepid lukewarm. As the rain-like mist sprinkled over his head, Konrad felt self-satisfied as he considered just how far he might advance due to this weekend's newly acquired connections. He quivered with the possibilities. The future would see him as a high-ranking officer, not only filthy rich, but admired and respected … a dream realized.

  The tiny two letter word “if” is often the most important word in the human vocabulary.

  If the water had not been running, if his mind had not been so preoccupied, if he had felt better, Konrad would surely have heard the phone ringing. But, as fate would have it, he missed the call from Ravensbrook, and by the time they tried to telephone again, he’d already left for dinner.

  Chapter 153

  On the road to Switzerland

  Only a few miles left to the Swiss border. A bead of sweat formed on Jacob’s brow. Soon they would cross into Switzerland, into safety. Detrick glanced over to see Jacob studying him.

  “You have been my dearest friend. My true son.”

  Detrick reached over and squeezed Jacob’s hand. “We’ll make it through this. And someday, when the baby is older, we’ll tell the child all about what we did today.”

  “I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. No matter what happens, Detrick, I’ve always loved you.”

  “I know that, Papa. And I have loved you, too.

  They pulled behind a short line of cars at the border patrol station. Jacob smiled reassuringly, but Detrick saw his hand trembling as they waited.

  Chapter 154

  Berlin

  The heavy black telephone rang out as Konrad turned the key in the door. He rushed to pick it up.

  “Obersfuehrer Konrad Klausen?”

  “That’s correct.”

  “This is Grupensfuehrer Hauptman. I am sorry to bother you at home on a Sunday, but my superior insisted that I telephone to make sure all had gone well for you.”

  I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”

  “With the Jewess. Feel free to keep her as long as you need to. We just wanted to check in and get an estimated time when you plan to return the prisoner.”

  Confused, Konrad listened but could not make sense of the call.

  “Excuse me, please, it’s been a rather long weekend. I’m not sure what you’re talking about. Explain?”

  “On Friday night, you sent a driver to retrieve a particular prisoner. The Jewess, one Leah Abdenstern, whom you’d selected to play piano at your luncheon. Do you recall now?”

  Leah Abdenstern… Detrick… The puzzle pieces began to fit together. What had Detrick done? The headache Konrad had almost defeated returned with a vengeance. Detrick had now put them both at risk again. If Konrad tried to protect Detrick this time, he might lose his position, or worse. But before he was willing to lay his friend's head on the block, he had to make sure beyond a doubt that Detrick had committed the crime.

  “I’m sorry, someone is at my door. Let me get back to you.”

  For a moment Konrad racked his brain, he could not remember where he’d sent Jacob. Then it came to him. He lit a cigarette and called Bergen-Belsen.

  Chapter 155

  The Swiss-German border

  Just a single auto ahead of them in line, then Jacob and Detrick would be free. Detrick gripped the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles turned white. They glanced at each other…knowing…and they waited.

  Chapter 156

  Berlin

  Konrad hung up the phone. In desperation, he cried out Detrick’s name. The sound echoed through the empty house. “Why Detrick… Why?" He called out again. Sick to his stomach, he fell to his knees. Bent over, he held his midsection as the pain shot through him. It had been years since Konrad had cried, but he did so now. For he knew what he must do, and he even found he could easily guess Detrick’s next move. Picking up the phone, he called his superior.

  “Close off the borders to Switzerland.” Then he explained why. Once the betrayal went into action, the power to stop it was no longer Konrad’s. His stomach grew sick from the rich dinner he’d just eaten, and he ran to the bathroom, where he vomited. Once he’d finished, he splashed cold water on his blood-red and feverish face. Then he scrubbed his hands with soap until the bled. For the rest of his life he would wash his hands, compulsively trying to cleanse his guilty heart.

  Chapter 157

  The Swiss-German border

  “Name?”

  “Grupensfuehrer Detrick Haswell. This is my father, Hans Haswell.”

  The officer gazed at the two. “What is your business across the border?”

  “I am here to do some work for the Reich, and at the same time, my father and I plan to take a short holiday.” Detrick felt the collar of his uniform tighten like a noose around his neck. It had been days since he’d slept, and dark circles had formed beneath his heavy-lidded eyes.

  “Very well.” Just as the guard was about to open the gate, the phone in the booth rang. “Excuse me. I must answer this.” The guard turned to Detrick.

  Detrick nodded, but he felt something had gone wrong. He turned to Jacob, who felt it too. If he ran through the gate they would both be decapitated by the metal bar. Detrick looked back at the guard. By the expression on the guard's face, Detrick knew for sure they’d been found out. Turning to Jacob, he squeezed his hand. “Open the door and run, Papa. I a
m right behind you.”

  They both opened their car doors and took off as fast as they could. It was only 100 yards to the safety zone.

  When the gun shot rang out, Detrick turned and saw Jacob fall. Instead of crossing the line, he ran back to hold the old man as he died.

  “Jacob, I’m here.”

  “I know, I know… You should not have come back… Not now, when you were almost across the border, or before, when you were safe with Leah.”

  “Shhhh, don’t talk.”

  “Before they come, I want to say goodbye. I tell you, go now….leave me here…go... Run...” Jacob closed his eyes. Detrick felt for a pulse, but none remained. He got up from the blood-covered street, but before he could move, two guards held him at gun point.

  “Move! Get into the booth!”

  Detrick wanted to fight, but knew that they would shoot him. Instead, he followed.

  A call was made.

  Then a car arrived which took Detrick to the closest headquarters. There he was met by a high-ranking officer.

  “Not only do I hate to be disturbed on a Sunday night, but this behavior is appalling. What do you have to say for yourself? A good Aryan boy going against his own for Jews.”

  “I have nothing to say.”

  “That you are sorry would be a beginning.” The man took a club from a holster at his side and hit Detrick across the shoulders. A loud crack, followed by a shooting pain, indicated to Detrick that a bone had been broken.

  “I’m not sorry.”

  “Courageous, aren’t we? Well, what else should I expect from a pure Aryan? After all we are the superior race. It’s just a shame you aren’t smarter. To betray your own people for these vermin was truly a foolhardy mistake. Don’t you realize that they are filth and they were destroying Germany?”

  Detrick did not answer. Once again the officer hit him, this time on the other side of his body.