Chains of Regret

by Margaret Pargeter

  Helplessly she closed her eyes. What was the use of fighting? She might have been able to defend herself against one, but not two! Her own emotions were proving too treacherous for her. Every time Stein kissed her the feelings he aroused grew wilder, filling her with an increasing warmth and passion. Passion was something she had never experienced before and it frightened her a little, but if Stein was determined to keep her here what did anything else matter?

  She heard the hard thud of his heart against her as his mouth closed over hers again. Blindly she clung to him, her arms going tightly around his neck, her fingers thrusting into the thick dark hair. The glitter in his eyes as he cupped her breasts made her draw a sharp, protesting breath, but she was too overwhelmed and dazed to protest.

  He pulled her closer, his hands grasping her fiercely, then relaxing to wander restlessly over her. Her heart began beating as quickly as his and a yielding weakness turned her limbs to water. When he felt her resistance fading, the pressure of his mouth eased slightly, and she became aware of a more gentle exploration which was even more arousing than force.

  ‘You know how much I want you,’ he muttered thickly.

  Helen’s head was throbbing with a strange fever, her throat dry. She tried to speak, because his words seemed menacing, but she couldn’t find her voice. And when she attempted to push him away, she couldn’t find any strength. She thought she must be in some kind of trance as she just wanted to stay where she was and forget everything. In the dusky light Stein’s face was poignantly familiar and her eyes went yearningly to his mouth, clearly betraying her inner hunger. A low moan escaped her, full of unconscious pleading as his words tormented her.

  ‘I want to hear you say it,’ he muttered hoarsely. ‘You have to beg!’

  Had she betrayed herself so unashamedly?

  Humiliation drowned the hot tide of passion in her veins. ‘I can’t!’ she whispered huskily.

  ‘Why not?’ his voice was harsh. ‘It can only be words you’re afraid of.’

  What he implied was obvious, but she still couldn’t tell him she was innocent. ‘I don’t feel so good,’ she murmured bleakly.

  She heard him breathing roughly, as though he sought to regain a slipping control. There was a chilling fury in his eyes and a savage twist to his lips. ‘You won’t have that excuse much longer,’ he snapped. ‘My patience is rapidly coming to an end. I don’t give a damn whether you hate me or not, but at least I can stop you thinking of other men.’

  ‘I’m ill,’ she insisted, the chill in his voice making her feel she actually was, and forcing her to cling to any form of protection.

  ‘You were,’ he taunted. ‘Now you’re just using it as an excuse.’

  Helen flushed with shame and a flicker of rebellion.

  ‘Can you wonder that I’m confused?’

  ‘No,’ he grated, releasing her so abruptly she almost fell, ‘but I think it’s your own feelings causing the confusion, not mine. For years you’ve been the spoiled daughter of a wealthy business man. Now that both the man and his wealth have disappeared, you’re like a ship without a rudder adrift on stormy seas.’

  She closed her eyes like a frightened child against the blazing rage in his hard face. How could he be so cruel?

  Of course he was basing his assumptions on what he thought he knew of her-and that he would never be prepared to overlook.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered stiffly, fighting a desperate desire to confess everything and throw herself on his mercy. Dully she returned to their former argument, thinking it safer. ‘You have to remember I’ve lived here most of my life and it hurt to hear how neighbours and friends are speculating over me.’

  ‘Don’t worry,’ Stein said dryly, ‘I have enough money and influence to put a stop to that whenever I feel like it.’

  Helen sighed unhappily. She wondered if he knew what he was talking about. How could money restore a reputation? And it was her problem, not his.

  ‘Go and get changed,’ he continued coldly, as she stared at him silently. ‘If you were feeling fit enough to go out for tea, I’ll take you out to dinner. I can’t have you complaining you never get anywhere.’

  What would it be like sharing a probably intimate table in a restaurant with a man whose head was filled only with thoughts of reprisal? Her face paled as she decided it might be more than she could stand.’

  Swaying on her feet, she asked, ‘Could we make it tomorrow night instead?’

  Stein’s jaw tightened as he caught her, swinging her up again in his arms. ‘Have you no sense?’ he rasped at her, as he had done earlier. ‘I can’t have either,’ he acknowledged angrily, not giving her a chance to protest as he carried her grimly to her room. ‘We both know you aren’t completely well yet. You can have your dinner in bed and we’ll go out some other time.’

  Stein spent the rest of the week working at home. He had his secretary brought from London and she stayed until the weekend. During the day she and Stein were closeted in the study, but Helen had dinner with them each evening. On Saturday morning, after Paul had departed with Mrs Wilkinson for London,

  Stein informed Helen that they would be going to town themselves, later, as he thought she was sufficiently recovered to enjoy the evening out they had postponed.

  ‘You’re looking much better,’ he said, as they set out. ‘You look charming, and I like your dress.’

  He was driving himself with Helen sitting comfortably beside him, and she glanced up in surprise at his cordial tones. There was usually very little kindness in his voice when he spoke to her, although this week, when Mrs Wilkinson had been around, he had contrived to be reasonably pleasant.

  ‘You’ve seen to it that I am better,’ she replied coolly, resenting the way in which he had deliberately concentrated on improving her health over the past few days. Despite his heavy work load, he had taken time to ensure she had a good walk each afternoon, and, at dinner, he had insisted she ate everything on her plate.

  He had even sent Hilary to her room with hot milk after she had gone to bed. What Mrs Wilkinson thought of it she had no idea, but she suspected Stein’s middle-aged secretary was curious. Everyone was curious, Helen thought despairingly; it wasn’t only Beryl!

  ‘I’ve done my best,’ she heard Stein saying smoothly. ‘After all, you wouldn’t have been ill but for me.’

  ‘I didn’t think I was that much on your conscience,’ she said dryly.

  He shrugged. ‘There are other reasons why I wanted you well again.’

  Because she didn’t want to dwell on the other reasons, Helen said sharply, ‘Was it absolutely necessary to bring Mrs Wilkinson here? She doesn’t miss much. I don’t know what she must be thinking.’

  ‘Do you spend all your days wondering what other people are thinking?’ he asked acidly. ‘It’s a pity you didn’t begin when you were younger!’

  Helen clenched her hands tightly and he slanted her a quick glance before adding curtly, ‘This isn’t the first time I’ve taken a working break.’

  ‘The study isn’t very well suited for operations on your scale,’ Helen .retorted dubiously.

  ‘I can work almost anywhere. So can my secretary ,' said Stein.

  ‘So,’ she muttered flatly, ‘it wasn’t just to make sure I didn’t run away.’

  She was surprised at the dull flush over his hard cheekbones. ‘Partly it was,’ he admitted, ‘but not altogether. I like Oakfield. It’s the home I never had before.’

  ‘I’m sure it’s not because you couldn’t afford one,’ she retorted, hurt goading her as he made her realise Oakfield wouldn’t be her home much longer.

  ‘It’s time I’ve always been short of, not money,’ he replied as sharply.

  ‘Gary mentioned that you’d lived in New York,’ she suddenly remembered.

  ‘On and off.’ He glanced narrowly at her frowning face, then changed the subject slightly. ‘Gary Phillips works for his uncle over there. The old man’s a leading light in the city, but Gary isn’t r
eputed to be so brilliant. Do you know him well?'

  Helen decided to be honest. There seemed no point in being anything else. ‘I haven’t seen much of him for years. I must have been only a child when he went away, not old enough to attract his attention.’

  ‘You are now, though.’

  Despairingly she glanced at him. ‘I didn’t even know he was home until the other day when Beryl said he would collect me.’

  ‘And you haven’t seen him since? He hasn’t been around?’

  ‘Not unless he’s been hiding behind some bushes while I’ve been out for a walk?’

  ‘I’d have heard,’ Stein assured her coldly, ‘if he’d been anywhere near. Somehow I don’t think he will be again. He’s not the sort to push his luck.’

  Helen sighed, sensing from his flat, controlled tones It might be futile to argue. He drove smoothly and talked evenly, but she was nervously aware of his hidden anger. She had thought to take advantage of his slightly relaxed mood in order to plead to be allowed to look for a job, but noting the renewed grimness of his face she realised the hopelessness of making such a request.

  Stein hadn’t changed. She’d be a fool to imagine, because of his more tolerant manner over the past few days, that he had! He must be as determined as ever to carry out his former threats.

  She had borrowed money which she couldn’t repay, among other things. Bleakly she turned her head, catching a certain expression in the cold grey eyes watching her. Apprehensively Helen’s heart lurched while her lips went dry. What made her think he was planning something even worse than she had envisaged, something which might make his previous plans seem almost merciful by comparison?

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  SINCE she knew Stein’s preference for smaller, more intimate places, Helen’s brow pleated in a faintly puzzled frown as they entered the vestibule of the large London hotel and he guided her into the cocktail lounge for drinks before dinner. As they sat down at a small, round table she tried to disregard a renewed sensation of apprehension. She could see no one she knew, and even if there had been it wouldn’t have mattered.

  She became aware of Stein staring at her with slightly raised brows. ‘Is there anything wrong?’

  ‘No, why should there be?’ She was instantly on the defensive.

  His mouth thinned. ‘You were looking worried.’

  She wished he wouldn’t keep remarking on every expression that crossed her face, because very few seemed to please him! Hastily she shook her head, making some attempt to smile. How could she explain she felt cold and alone? Stein would never understand.

  He would only be angry, and the evening might turn into a disaster before it had even begun!

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she murmured huskily, a soft flush on her cheeks as his continuing regard disturbed her.

  ‘Perhaps it’s because I haven’t been out for a while.’

  ‘Three weeks?’

  ‘It seems longer.’

  ‘I can agree with that!’

  She glanced at him quickly. His voice was bitter, his face hard. A resigned sigh escaped her tremulous lips, but this time he didn’t appear to notice. His attention was suddenly riveted on a woman approaching them.

  The lady was elegant and pretty but clearly well into middle age. Idly Helen wondered what it was about her that had caught Stein’s eye. She was startled to realise he must know her as he rose to greet her when she paused beside them. Helen was even more surprised when the woman clasped him by the arms and he bent to kiss her lightly on her cheek.

  ‘Estella!’ she heard him say gently. ‘As lovely as ever!’

  Helen thought she detected a faint mockery in Estella’s eyes as she smiled warmly. ‘It’s been a long time, Stein.’

  ‘Over a year,’ his eyes teased as he turned the full shaft of his charm on her. ‘We mustn’t let it be so long again.’

  ‘We always say that,’ Estella laughed ruefully. ‘The other day, in Paris, when I began counting how long it has been, I felt I had to come and see you. I’m only here for the night, mind you, as Hank’s been asking for days when I’m coming home, but I hope it’s convenient?’

  ‘Actually,’ Stein said smoothly, with a sideways glance at Helen, ‘you couldn’t have come at a better time. I wanted you to be the first to congratulate me and meet my fiancee.’

  Helen’s breath caught in her throat and froze there.

  Who did he say? She gazed at him in blind confusion as he drew her to her feet. His grip was gentle, but the message which flashed briefly through his eyes, for her alone, was not. Play along, it commanded, or else!

  There was nothing threatening in his face as he introduced her to a very curious Estella, and his silent warning might have been unnecessary as Helen was too stunned to do more than react like a puppet.

  ‘My stepmother,’ he explained the beaming lady, who enclosed Helen in a delightfully perfumed and sweeping embrace, while Stein signalled to their waiter to bring champagne.

  ‘We must celebrate,’ he said.

  ‘Oh, yes!’ Estella agreed, without appearing to notice that Helen was speechless. ‘I’m so pleased to meet you, my dear,’ she said to Helen. ‘You must forgive me if I seem over-excited, but I’d no idea Stein was even thinking of getting married until today.’

  Helen was about to say she hadn’t known herself when she received another warning glance.

  ‘It happened suddenly,’ Stein explained .

  ‘All the best things do!’ Estella declared happily, as they sat down again.

  Helen’s lips stretched in what she presumed must have passed for a smile as Estella returned it. ‘I can quite see how Stein fell for you,’ she leant towards Helen and patted her hand approvingly. ‘You’re so pretty, and you’ve got a little extra something. I’m sure you and Stein will be very happy.’

  Helen had never cared for people who talked incessantly, but for once she didn’t mind. She soon gathered that Estella was married to an American she had met after Stein’s father had died. She seemed to think it was essential to explain odd details to Helen.

  ‘I haven’t seen much of Stein since I married Hank, but we’ve always kept in touch. When he was in New York, of course, it was easier.’

  ‘You aren’t staying long in London?’ Helen enquired, trying to avoid mentioning her so-called engagement.

  Although it made her terribly angry, she couldn’t believe Stein intended her to take it seriously. Yet her mind revolted at this kind of Joke and she didn’t want to make a scene about it. Not until she got Stein alone!

  ‘I’m just passing through,’ Estella sighed. ‘I was determined to look Stein up. I was happy I did when I rang him this morning and he told me his news. Now I’m dying to know when the wedding’s going to be!’

  ‘Not for a while,’ Stein broke in. ‘Helen’s just lost her father, remember.’

  ‘Oh, yes. How remiss of me!’

  Stein must have told Estella quite a bit? Helen glanced at him sharply, wondering how much, as Estella touched her hand, this time sympathetically. ‘He did mention it, and I’m sorry, honey, but knowing Stein’s impatience I didn’t think he would be prepared to wait.’

  Helen smiled at her vaguely, taking another sip of champagne. She felt she really needed something stronger, but the sparkling wine was helping to take away all sense of reality.

  ‘Where’s your ring?’ Estella exclaimed, after a brief pause, as though she was determined not to let anything cloud such a happy occasion. ‘Oh, my, Stein, you’ve surely never forgotten the ring!’

  Stein smiled, the grey eyes hard and brilliant, glittering with a force Helen could never withstand. To her dazed horror, he extracted a box from an inner pocket, opening it to reveal the glitter of diamonds.

  ‘Oh, my!’ Estella exclaimed again. ‘That must be worth a fortune!’

  ‘You should know.’ As if to give Helen time to get over the shock, he glanced with dry affection over Estella’s impressive array of jewellery.

  ‘Hank’s v
ery good to me,’ Estella smiled complacently.

  ‘He likes spending money, and diamonds are a good investment.’

  Helen’s long lashes fluttered and her eyes looked glazed as Stein slid the ring on her slender white finger.

  She stiffened, wondering incredulously what he thought he was playing at. Marriage had no part, she was sure, in his devious schemes, and she failed to see either sense or reason in a phoney engagement. .

  Amazingly, as though the shock she was experiencing extended to every bit of her, her hand didn’t tremble as Stein, carrying the charade further, lifted it to his mouth. Yet as soon as his lips touched her skin a sharp slither of fire rushed through her and her breathing quickened. The heat in her body bewildered her and she shivered faintly with fear.