Cherish and Simon- the First Year

by Eva Morian

  Smiling to himself, he glanced down and wet his lips, “I’m thinking that I was lucky to find you. You’re…so incredible, but you don’t even know it. I don’t think I’ve met someone who could be my best friend on this kind of level, but also my lover. You’re really out of my league, you know that?” he asked.

  She tilted her head softly to the side. The way his hand squeezed hers was like to the way her heart felt in her chest. Slowly, the corners of her mouth lifted. While the sun slowly lowered to the horizon, Cherish couldn’t keep her eyes from him. The view outside wasn’t nearly as mesmerizing.

  Just as she was about to crack a soft joke about how they weren’t lovers yet, he leaned in closer against the table and felt fully aware of the situation, “The way we met was insane, but it worked out so well. I never thought I could be this happy again.” He shook his head before his brows dipped. Hardly able to believe it, “Happy birthday, Cherish.” He whispered.

  Breaking into a full smile, she slowly lifted the glass of water to her lips and took a sip. Her gaze never left his before she sipped and lowered it, “Thank you, so much Simon. I would tell you how much you mean to me, but I think you already have the idea. I’d rather show you now.” She whispered smiling at the delight in his face.

  The waitress broke their conversation as she returned with the champagne and the flirtatious air between them settled. Ordering their food, they bantered as usual, never ran out of things to say to one another, and flirted shamelessly for forty-five minutes. Entertaining Simon’s perversion, Cherish’s fingers played with his for most of the night.

  Halfway through their meal, she leaned back against the chair and twirled the fork between her fingers, “So, where do you see yourself in five years? Don’t hold back.”

  Simon’s ego was boosted because he had a good feeling they’d go all the way after dinner. His eyes flicked up while he pretended to think of an answer for her, “Hmm I’ll say on top of you making another Jr. We’ll call him “Jr. Jr.” he said.

  Her eyes narrowed, and her mouth gawked open at him with a laugh. She quickly placed a napkin over her mouth and glanced behind her, “You are ridiculous!” she retorted with inflection.

  “That was only a half joke.” He added while finishing his champagne.

  With her eyebrow arched, she pursed her lips together, “I’m almost scared to ask which part you were joking about.” She stated in a matter-a-fact tone.

  He continued to eye her with a smirk, “I see myself married. Maybe more kids since the twins will be starting school. Hopefully I’ll have my own firm by then because I’d really like to make a legacy for my kids to inherit. Go on big vacations every year anywhere we want in the world. Exotic places…” his finger ran along hers suggestively, “…doing exotic things.” He murmured.

  Married, he saw himself married which only meant one person. Cherish clenched her jaw tightly before clearing her throat and following suit with her own drink. As he blatantly made another pass at her, she could feel deep down in her soul that she would lay down her body with him if he didn’t stop. Instead, she rolled her eyes in an over exaggerated manner and focused on another aspect of his answer, “We?” she asked softly.

  Her eyelashes lifted over her brown eyes as the atmosphere quieted between them. Inhaling a deep breath, she was about to put out on the line that she would’ve loved to marry him as well, until she saw the door open behind him and Susan stepped within. Her mouth dropped slightly as she felt a bout of awkwardness fall over her shoulders. This woman was dressed in a manner which caused Cherish to feel like a paper bag. Her clothing, alike to Simon’s, was that of quality.

  The air around Susan commanded respect and Cherish felt off the moment her gaze landed on the blonde. Those sharp, blue eyes of hers stared into her before realizing Simon sat across from the nuisance. She smirked slightly as Cherish’s gaze faltered and she approached them.

  Cherish rolled her mouth to the side and felt as though this night had just been knocked down a peg. She shifted uncomfortably as Susan rested her fingertips lightly on Simon’s shoulder and gave an award-winning smile, “Simon! What are the odds?”

  Just when he was about to ask what it was, he was surprised by an all too familiar voice. Out of all places, she was there? Looking up, he couldn’t pinpoint the exact reason or why, but their mood lowered into discomfort, “Susan? Hello, we weren’t expecting to see you here.” He replied.

  Susan tucked a bit of blonde hair behind her ear, “Oh, I was referred here with a couple of friends for the night. It’s amazing to see you, this place is great. The food here is wonderful…” She then lowered a look across the table and stared down at Cherish, “Hi, Cherish right? How…nice to see you here as well. Having dinner without the kids?” she asked.

  Cherish rubbed back of her neck nodding, “Yes. Simon’s parents gave us a break.”

  Susan cleared her throat as she glanced between them, “Oh…” she then pointed to Cherish looking to Simon for an answer, “…is she still at your house? Wow, I know how hard it is to get a good job without proper education today.” She clasped her hands together before she returned her gaze to Cherish, “That and trying to save up for a place is hard. Simon has been so generous with you, but I know you must be ready to spread your wings and find your own independence. You are such a strong woman. I just recently bought my second condo after flipping the first and it’s so nice to be by myself sometimes. Simon runs a tight ship at the office, so I can only imagine how he is in his home.” She said gripping his shoulder with a complimentary smile.

  Not agreeing with Susan at all, he didn’t want Cherish to spread her wings and leave. If she wanted to, that was fine, but he hoped and wanted her to stay with him. About to speak up, he laughed out of social necessity and brought the tension in the conversation down, “Aha, well not exactly. At home I’m relaxed. At least I think I am…” He looked over to Cherish as though asking for her to back him, “…I mean things at home have been pretty good, Susan. Cherish can take all the time she needs. I’m not rushing her.” He said.

  Susan laughed lightly to herself as she playfully rolled her eyes and looked at Simon with an incredulous expression, “Oh come now. You can’t really hold this woman back from being the best she has to offer. If you keep taking care of her, she’ll never want to do anything for herself. Right, Cherish?” she asked. Her gaze flicked in her direction while her ruby red lips stayed stretched in a maw-like grin.

  Cherish swallowed tightly. Each point Susan said drove home. Everyone else was too nice to their faces, but now she wondered how people really felt about her staying with Simon so long. Sure, she and he had an unsaid agreement to be together in the end, but would a little independence be so bad? Her gaze cascaded over Susan’s elegant form and in a moment, she felt miniscule. Instead of answering, her gaze lowered before she rubbed her mouth with a napkin, “He’s great at home…”

  The corner of Susan’s eyebrow twitched while she glanced between them, “Oh, well of course he would be. I was just having a little joke. There’s no way Simon isn’t more than generous with his…hospitality.” She stated.

  The silence between the three of them was awkward now. Still, Susan stood there and smiled. She then inhaled a deep breath before rolling her shoulders, “Well, I’m going to leave you to it. My party has already been seated. Simon, I’m going to have a house warming party soon and I’m going to invite some people from the office. Employees only!” She said with a giggle.

  There was a certain relief Simon felt and he hoped the tension would follow her. Raising his hand to wave, Susan stroked his shoulder much to Cherish’s chagrin before she snapped, “Oh I meant to ask you, really quick, about the Elliot project…”

  He believed her.

  Susan went into details and questions for Simon and took his attention. She laughed with him and joked about things around the office. Cherish glanced between them and, for the first time in a long time, she felt on the outside. After three excruciati
ng minutes, Susan finally shook her hands. Her cheeks were pink from laughing as she blew out, “Sorry, I’m so sorry, Cherish. I didn’t mean to interrupt your meal. I’ll see you Monday, Simon.” She stated before waving with a beautiful, unfaltering smile.

  Cherish blinked quietly to herself and stared at the table. Clearing her throat, she noticed Susan didn’t even bother to speak to her again and sighed. Instead of bringing up her feelings, she already knew Simon would mildly cover for her ignorance, so she left it alone. Looking at him, she cleared her throat and rubbed a thumb across her cheek, “Ready to go?” she asked.

  The atmosphere between them and within her shifted dramatically which told Simon there wasn’t a chance to return. He wanted to apologize but didn’t know how. The look on Cherish’s face caused him to sink inside. He’d planned to share dessert, but thought better of it now, “Yeah, if you are.” He answered. Waving down the waitress, he got the bill. He knew better than to ask her in the middle of the restaurant, so he waited until they were outside.

  As they sat, waited, and walked back to the car in silence, Cherish had enough time to reflect on everything Susan said. Unfortunately, she was right. Here was this powerful, beautiful woman. Everyone respected her when she walked in the room and she took life by the balls and made it her own. Cherish, depended on other people. Susan was rolling in her career with her options laid out for whatever she wanted. Cherish cleaned toilets for people, like Susan, to sit their asses on and relieve themselves. Susan just bought her second condo with the revenue she made off the first one and Cherish was knocked up at eighteen. The fact was, Cherish had no idea what it was like to be alone; truly free.

  Although she was quite happy and content where she was, Susan messed with her mind horrifically. The way she and Simon were able to go back and forth over their own projects baffled her. She hardly understood what they were talking about and Susan rattled off like a seasoned pro. She knew where she wanted to be with Simon in five years, and he was assured on it too. Now, she wondered what others thought about her staying in Simon’s house and if she had what it took to be…independent. Even if only temporarily.

  The moon lit up the beach, but the mood was different than before. Inevitably, Simon felt a cloud of disappointment over his head, “Cherish, are you okay?” he asked.

  She turned her head to him, “Hm? Oh…” She smiled to herself before it fell. Looking forward again, her stomach churned in confusion as she ran her fingers through her hair, “…what would you do if I said I wanted to move out?” she asked. Seeing the look on his face, she quickly clarified, “It wouldn’t change what’s between us, Simon. I just…I don’t know. I’ve never been on my own and I just…I don’t know what I want. God damnit.” She whispered. Inhaling a deep breath, she leaned her head back while her feet dug in the sand, “What I’m saying is, as much as I love it at home with you and Jr., I’m questioning whether I want to try it. Don’t worry, it wouldn’t be forever because if you meant what you said about five years from now, I’m all for it. All you have to do is ask. I don’t know, even if it’s just a few months, I want to see if I can make it…you know? I don’t know…”

  Through her indecisiveness, a part of Simon felt as though this was what she wanted all along. He was holding her back and she didn’t want to tell him. He remembered the times she wanted to get a job to pay her own way and he encouraged her to quit. Guilt settled inside of him. This was his fault. He hated the idea of her leaving and splitting the family up. That upset him because it meant taking Jasmine away and he couldn’t handle her absence. Wanting to ask about the kids, he had a bad feeling this was the start of her pulling away from him permanently. She just didn’t want to admit she was backing out.

  A surge of volatile emotion coursed through his body. He opened his mouth to argue before he remembered what her doctor said about the men in her life. They all controlled, hurt, and suppressed her. That was the last thing he wanted to do. Simon swallowed all of his honest feelings and thoughts and gave her what he thought she wanted, “…If that’s what you think you need. Then do it…”

  Cherish’s head snapped in his direction. His compliance was not what she expected to hear, “Oh…” Turning to face forward again, she approached the car and she stared at the pricy token of affection silently. Her lips curled in as she glanced towards the shadowed trees swaying in the gulf breeze. Tears clouded her vision as she quickly wiped them away before he saw, “Yeah. I guess I can check some places out and see if any of them feel like home.” She whispered. Heartbroken, she didn’t know how to go about this. The fact was, he didn’t confirm he wanted to marry her. He didn’t fight her as he always did whenever it was something he didn’t want or like. This broke her the most. He fought for anything he wanted, just not for her.

  As they climbed up the beach, she placed their shoes in the backseat and dusted off the sand. Getting into the car behind him, she shut the door and slowly pulled the seatbelt on. Simon sat in the driver’s seat feeling empty. What she said ate away at him, “It won’t be home.” He whispered to her.

  She blinked several times and was about to remind him that she wasn’t sold yet, but the look in his eye caused her to fall silent. Every happy moment she’d shared with him was gone and it showed. His home wouldn’t feel like one without her and he didn’t want to feel as though her possible new place would feel the same without him and Jr. He was trying not to be selfish or to lash out, but he needed time because he was mad at himself.

  Not wanting to seem different or awkward, She wet her lips and turned on the radio after he started the car, “I can’t wait to see the kids…”

  Turning his attention forward, he placed the car in reverse and backed up, “They’ll probably be asleep, but we can tuck them in again.” He tried, but his words were empty. Simon was conflicted because he was trying to do what was best for her, but he couldn’t help how terrible he felt. Shaking his head to himself, he needed to clear his head and go about this situation differently than he felt.

  Driving, he took her home however long she would consider it such and told himself that he couldn’t interfere with her choices anymore.

  Chapter 18

  May 31st.

  It was the Friday before the kids’ first birthday. A time which should have been full of excitement and happiness. Instead, a cloud hung over Simon’s head and he did little to hide his soured mood. He had given into Cherish’s plight to have her own place. A decision that’d socked him in the chest and put a bit of distance between them.

  Looking back at the babies while driving, Jr. slept, and Jasmine watched her mommy and daddy. Cherish blew little kisses at her before she turned forward. Her hand gripped onto Simon's shoulder happily; even though some was forced. She couldn't keep in her excitement. She'd finally saved up enough money, plus the added boost from Jasmine on her income tax return, and they were looking into her first rental home. Of course, she felt as though she was breaking up the family, but she needed to at least look.

  Simon, on the other hand, made the process harder on her than he should have. After the first few apartments, he nit-picked over them and nagged about how she was wasting her money. Any complaint that existed under the sun, he handed it out to Cherish daily. She knew he hated change and clung onto her, but he’d see soon enough, it was for the best; at least she hoped.

  Pulling up to a small two-bedroom house, Simon leaned over the steering wheel before he glared in Cherish’s direction. Sucking her cheeks in, she refused to look his way, “Don’t start.” She warned.

  Getting out of the car, the scenery he’d caught a glimpse of didn’t get better. With a sigh, he unbuckled the children from the car and took his time because he wasn’t eager to go inside. He lifted Jasmine out of the seat as Cherish picked Jr. up. His pudgy face hardly moved from the transfer from the seat to her chest.

  Jasmine held onto Simon’s shirt and her pretty eyes drunk in every hyper-sensitive image. The frown on Simon’s face was profound and he could
no longer hold his tongue, “Are you sure you want to do this? You can already see there are bars on the windows. Cherish, bars. The grass is yellow, and the neighborhood is…” Turning his head, he looked down at the people outside on their porches. All eyes were on the family and her car. He reached into his pocket and quickly locked the doors before he returned his attention to Cherish, “…the gutters are hanging off the wall on this side right here. Where are we?” He groaned.

  Patting on Jr.’s back, Cherish sighed as she rocked from side to side and waited for Simon in front of the dinky rental. Sure, it wasn’t his palace but, this could be hers for the time being, “Simon.” She hissed cutting her eyes in his direction. “Could you at least let us get inside before you pull me out and lecture me to the next house?” She joked.

  He slid his eyes in her direction before releasing a breath; nodding, “Fine, fine anything you want.” He answered. Looking down at his baby girl, he felt an immediate smile on his face as she looked all around. He brushed his hand over her head and spoke quietly as they approached the house, “Yeah baby girl. Do you see this place? You let daddy know if you like it or not. I’ll pass the message on to mommy.” He whispered knocking on the door. He gave Cherish a slight grin because she knew he would have something to say one way or another.

  The door swung open and the current tenant stared at them expectantly. The first thing hitting Cherish was the musty, old smell. She’d have to clean from top to bottom before moving in. The main living area was tiny, and the walls had been patched numerous times. The bedrooms were rather spacious for the small abode, but the bathroom was a joke. The kitchen was curved and big enough for two. The problem was, half of the cupboards barely closed. The residents warned that they wouldn’t be able to let the kids play in the front lawn because it was filled with sand spurs.