Inky

by J. B. Hartnett

  “Have you set a date?” Lisa asked, wiping lime juice from the bar.

  “Next year during the Geminids meteor shower. It seemed appropriate. Although it doesn’t peak until 2am, so I think we’ll have to serve espresso instead of cocktails if people want to stay and watch it.”

  My Scotch-drinking, sad-eyed customer asked, “Do you know why they call it that, Ink?” His voice low and smooth slid over my name but I didn’t know him.

  “Actually I don’t. Why?”

  “It happens in the constellation of Gemini. It’s the same for all meteor showers. The Orionids occur in Orion and so on. Really it’s the radiant; the star or constellation where it originates from.” He contemplated what he’d said for a moment, then continued. “I’m pretty sure that’s right.”

  “Thanks for telling me that. Do you study Astronomy?” I asked politely.

  “No, just a man…or I was until my wife left and took my balls with her.” He stopped again and looked forward, taking a sip from his drink. He turned his head to look at me, “Sorry, having a bad day.”

  Well. That certainly stopped my happy little tale dead in its tracks.

  “Are you by chance a Tammy Wynette fan?” I asked.

  “Not that I know of. Why?’’

  “When I asked you if you were an astronomer you answered, ‘Just a man.’ It’s a lyric in one of her songs.” And incidentally, it was the very song I sang at karaoke not long ago. He didn’t have a response to my little country music trivia. Instead he just stared at me for a while. I broke the stare-down and cleared Dean’s empty Bud and gave him another.

  We were all stocked up and waiting for the after-work crowd. I leaned back and threw a few more cherries in my coke. Lisa went off to fix her makeup while my previous audience of Dean and a woman whose name I could not remember went back to whatever it was they were doing before I told my sappy story. I couldn’t help but move down the bar to this poor guy. I busied myself washing one glass very slowly, trying to be casual while I topped up the garnish trays unnecessarily. When his drink was empty, I came back with a bottle of top shelf scotch.

  “This one’s on me, friend. Sounds like you’re having a bad day.” He looked at the glass and nodded in appreciation, never looking up and took a sip.

  “I’m not much of a drinker really,” he started, “maybe a beer or two at night.” he said softly. “I just started to drive down the coast and then stopped to have a drink because that’s what I think you do in this situation. I mean, I’m not really sure. It’s not like they give you a pamphlet when you get married that says, ‘in case things don’t work out’ or even better than that, ‘in case you’re a total and complete idiot’ which incidentally they should have in a place like Vegas.” I turned and put the bottle back on the shelf behind me. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sure you and your fiancé will be very happy. You’re off to a good start. He’s pretty romantic.” He said taking a sip.

  It took a lot of doing to get to this point in my relationship with Evan. I’d cried my fair share of tears over him and everybody knew it. I’d watched him come out with his friends and pick up some random girl and leave with her, always wondering what was so wrong with me? I’d long for those times when he’d sit at my part of the bar and keep me company through my shift. He’d eventually ask where my boyfriend was that night and if the boyfriend wasn’t around, he’d offer to drive me home and one thing always led to another. It was sneaky and I shouldn’t have done it. That much I knew. The guilt was sometimes a bit overwhelming but I was all about not getting too close to anyone. I had a select group of people who really knew me, knew my past, and knew my quirks. Among my confidants were Rusty, Aimes, the gallery manager, Abe and my tattoo guy, Nico. That was plenty. I wanted to appear confident and tried not to let Evan see that what he was doing with me actually broke my heart. Aimes couldn’t believe the situation I’d gotten myself into.

  Gerry, my most recent boyfriend finally asked me where the relationship was heading. One of those where do you see us in five years? sort of things and he didn’t like my answer. I felt like I wanted to tell this stranger sitting at the bar all about it. I wanted to open up my past and let him in and maybe give him some hope of his own. If I found someone, he could too.

  I poured myself a fresh coke with a hefty dose of cherries and the delicious syrup they come in. I leaned on the shelf behind me and took a sip before I spoke to him,

  “Hey,” I said to get his attention. “This little romance I have going on didn’t exactly happen overnight. I waited for him for over three years.” He seemed to take in my words and think about them for a minute.

  “But you had someone else, right? Someone to distract you until he was ready for you?” He stared right at me. He was so intense I wanted to look away but his beautiful eyes wouldn’t let me.

  I did not expect that response. “Well, yeah, I did. Not on purpose. I just never thought he’d want someone like me. And my ex ended things with me, not the other way around.”

  “Someone like you?” What does that mean?” he inquired.

  Wow, okay Mr. Nosy Pants. It means I think I’m done sharing.

  “It means story time has come to an end.” I had a pretty thick skin but something about this guy got right under it and burrowed there. I had a delicate balance going on in my little world and somehow, for some reason I couldn’t quite put my finger on, this guy knew exactly what to say to upset that.

  “Hey,” he moved across the bar toward me and waited until he was staring into my eyes, so close I could smell his cologne…his very nice cologne. “I wasn’t trying to upset you. I was just saying, you had someone else waiting in the wings.” He took his last sip of scotch and looked back at me, “Your heart was already somewhere else and that Gerry guy knew it. He had to ask the hard question or it would’ve been worse for him later. No, that’s not right.” He looked away as if remembering something, something painful. “She wasn’t real, none of it was real. I was just really fucking stupid.” I knew he wasn’t talking about me or Gerry or Evan at all. I felt for him but it was also pissing me off. Yep. That statement sure as hell upset my balance. We had a stare down for all of five seconds but by the time our gaze broke, there was a shift. Something in both him and me changed.

  “Thanks for the…well, thanks.” He said as he held my eyes.

  “You okay to drive, sir?” I asked curtly, breaking our stare down.

  “Ah, I’ve gone from friend to sir. Yeah. I’m okay.”

  I said nothing more to him. Out of the corner of my eye I watched as he pushed the bar stool back and walked away. He reached the door and paused, not looking back, and continued into the waning daylight. I went to wipe down the dark wood of the bar and clear his drink when I saw he left me a hundred dollar bill and his business card. I quickly put both in my pocket, exhaled the breath I was holding and casually went back to work.

  “You okay, Ink?” Lisa was by my side. I didn’t notice anyone else near me during my exchange with the mysterious, sad stranger. “I’ve never heard you speak like that with a customer before.”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. Why?” I busied my hands with washing the one glass I had and wiping around the sink.

  “Because you’re pale, I mean more so than usual. He was really hot though.” When I looked over, her eyes were lit up like Christmas trees. Apparently the break she took had done wonders for her mood.

  “Was he? I didn’t notice.”

  “Come on, Ink! Even you had to notice that guy. I mean, I know Evan’s good looking and you’re in love but that doesn’t make you blind. Did you get a name, a phone number, anything?”

  Did she see the business card and the benji he left me? I didn’t want to lie and get caught later, “He didn’t mention his name.”

  “Damn. Well, if he comes back in, you know where to find me.”

  “He doesn’t seem like the kind that’ll be back, Lisa. I think he just had his heart broken and found himself here. He’ll
sober up and probably won’t be able to find this place again.”

  “Too bad,” She said. “He was gorgeous.” Well, at least Lisa was willing to look at a new guy. That was something good.

  ***

  Three weeks later, Friday afternoon, sad-eyed, scotch-drinking, star-man was there. I was just cashing out the dayshift drawer, getting myself prepared with change for the busy night ahead. I had the raffle tickets and the sign-up sheet for karaoke ready and was moving onto that wonderful task of slicing limes. He sat down and waited for me to serve him. Lisa approached him first.

  “Can I get you something?” She smiled her beautiful white smile.

  “No, thank you. I’ll wait for the other bartender.” He said.

  She didn’t like that but refused to let it faze her, “She’ll just be a minute. Give a holler if you change your mind.” What she was really saying was ‘I’ll be happy to blow you after my shift later’. She gave me a wink and went to her end of the bar.

  “Sure.” He waited patiently for me to give him my attention. Finally he moved and sat straight across from me. “Hey, Ink was it?”

  “Yep.” I answered, not looking up at him.

  “I owe you an apology.”

  “Ya think?” I slammed the little knife down and two limes rolled to the floor. What the hell was wrong with me? I took a breath, counted to ten really quick, and tried to get my composure.

  “No, I don’t think I do. I know I do. I’m sorry. For what it’s worth, I really am sorry for the way I spoke to you. I was out of line. I wasn’t drunk; I don’t even have an excuse. Just that I was in pain and wanted to…I don’t know, spread the misery.” He tried to smile at me but I wasn’t receptive to his white flag of friendliness. However, I couldn’t help but notice that when he gave me a half smile, his lip curled in a way that made my cheeks get warm. Lisa was right. He was hot.

  “What can I get you to drink?” I was polite but I was short with him which wasn’t lost on the small crowd signing up for karaoke night.

  “I’ll have the same as last time.” He probably thought I wouldn’t remember.

  “Scotch, coming right up.”

  The four guys who were adding their names to the list were watching me. I knew them and they knew me. Actually, they knew Aimes pretty well. One of them was an officer and her little romance with him had been a bit of a scandal. He had brought some newbies in one night. They got caught drink driving and that landed him in some hot water with “the brass” as he called them. But the real hot water came when his wife found out he stayed the night with “some bartender” as explained by one of the privates when he was questioned. He had a thing for Aimes though. Whatever they shared, it was more than just sex, but he was very married - story of her life.

  “How you doin’, Inky?”

  “I’m fine, Gus. How are you?” I was giggling to myself because of his small talk. He just wanted to ask me about Aimes

  “Fine…fine. How’s the house? You and Evan gonna get your own place soon?”

  “Ah, well, I think we’ll stay there for now, save some money. You know how it is. Eventually we’ll move closer to L.A. since he’s there for work a lot. And I’ll have to get a car.” Evan didn’t really live at my place. He had his own little bachelor pad he shared with friends. He didn’t see the point in moving all his stuff in with me just to move it out again in a year, which I totally understood. It was cheaper than paying for a storage unit.

  Gus was from a rural part of Texas, somewhere outside Dallas. He had a twang when he spoke, especially after a couple of drinks. I found it charming and so did Aimes. We may have had opposite taste in guys, but I couldn’t deny the pure maleness that was Gus the Marine. Tall, all muscle with a neck the same thickness as his head, “Where’re the other pretty girls you live with?”

  There it was.

  “She’ll be here in five minutes.” I lowered my voice and leaned close to him, “Hey Gus?”

  “Yes, Inky?” He answered in a whisper.

  “Are ya still married?”

  “No, Inky, I ain’t.” Oh boy, I wasn’t expecting that answer. Play it cool, Ink. Play it cool.

  “What happened, if you don’t mind me asking?”

  “She and I never shoulda been she and I. We both knew…it’d been done for a while. She wasn’t exactly waiting for me to come home each night, if you know what I mean. I wasn’t the only man in her life. Not for a long time.” His already quiet voice became even softer. “I would never have taken up with Aimes if that was the case. Even though I was technically married, we had an understanding. You remember that whole thing with the boys getting caught? I let everyone believe I was the bad guy. The other officer with us that night? He had more to lose and my wife was part of that. It woulda been worse for him to get busted for that stunt. Staying together meant she got to stay close to him without suspicion until she and I were officially divorced and he could move in.”

  He ran his fingers through his hair and motioned for me to come to the other end of the bar. The other end where my apologetic star man was still waiting for his drink. “Inky, it wasn’t like that with Aimes. Whatever you think of me and the fact I was still married at the time, well, it wasn’t like that.” His eyes were silently pleading with me to help him make his case.

  “I believe you, Gus. And just to be clear, you went out drinking with the man your wife was having an affair with? And he knew you knew?”

  “Like I said, it’d been over for a while.” He looked around to see if Aimes had arrived. “Can you put in a good word for me?” He asked.

  “Of course.”

  Aimes and Gus would be good together but she said more than once that she did not want the life of a military bride and as far as I knew, this was his career. She said she didn’t think she’d be able to cope, being apart from the guy you love and never knowing when or if he would come home. I would still put in a good word though. “I better go, Gus. I have a customer to serve.”

  “Thanks, Ink.” He said this with sincerity and hope. “By the way, I heard you sang last month. Any chance of an encore tonight?” I had just made my way to my end of the bar when I felt all the blood rush from my face. “Jesus, Ink, it’s cool, I heard you were really good, that’s all. Hey, you okay? You look like you’re gonna pass out.”

  “Panic…attack, Gus. Panic... ” And it was. Full blown... it hit me all at once. I was hyperventilating right there in front of tall, dark and dreamy and I could do nothing to stop it. I grabbed the edge of the bar, white- knuckled, and attempted to ride it out.

  “Hey, hey... ” the words started to reach me, calming and cool. I felt fingers lightly brush up and down my arms and finally holding my hands tight. “Hey, breathe slower. Follow my tempo, okay? I’m gonna help you. Just listen to the song, okay? Rockin’-by-the-seaside-rockin’-by-the-sea.”

  Oh my God, was he singing to me?

  “Walkin’-with-my-woman, that’s it, just breathe, my-woman-and-me, you’re doing great…”

  I’m doing great? I am doing great. Wow, this is totally working!

  “Whispers from the waves-giving life to her and me. Rocking us together, my woman, the sea and me. ” Holy shit.

  He was holding my hands. Just a small smile touching his lips with nothing but concern all over his face. Gus was just watching but Lisa was standing behind me, holding me up.

  “Come on, Ink. Why don’t you sit down and have a break,” Lisa said, loosening her grip on me. “I’ll get you…whatever he’s having. What are you having…whatever your name is?”

  “Corona with lime.” I didn’t catch the star-man’s name. I was too focused on his fingers as they slowly pulled away from me, soft and gentle. I almost wanted to have another panic attack so he wouldn’t let me go.

  I sat down a couple of stools away from him as Lisa served our drinks. I didn’t drink much at work and especially during a shift – Rusty’s rules. Today I was making an exception. “Thank you for doing that. How embarrassing.”
>
  “I used to get them when I was a kid. My mom used to sing that to me to calm me down.”

  Wow, he smelled good.

  “What brought them on?” I asked. Who’s nosey now?

  “My dad. Yours?”

  “My mom.” We picked up our beers in unison.

  “Cheers.” Looking forward, we both took a swig and sat in contemplative silence.

  Chapter 4

  For once, I was up before Evan. We didn’t make it home until almost four but I couldn’t sleep. Rusty let Evan and his roommates stay a while after closing. They sang drunken karaoke songs while Evan and I laughed at their efforts; all in good humor, of course. I never did sing that night. After the panic attack, I just couldn’t do it.

  We finished our beers, I went back to work and my dreamy knight-in-shining-smells-good-nice eyes-guy left without a word. I stood in the kitchen caught up in the memory of him, making enough coffee for everyone when I heard Lisa’s door open.

  “Morning, Ink. Are you feeling better?” Lisa appeared in the kitchen looking like a Victoria Secret model with cute, pink, plaid flannel pajama bottoms and a matching pink, lace-trimmed camisole.

  “Yeah, I haven’t had an attack like that in such a long time. Sorry about that.”

  “I don’t know why you’re apologizing. Lucky that guy was there to help.”

  “What guy?” Evan asked, appearing out of nowhere and startling me. Talk about timing.

  “A customer.” I answered and casually went about getting mugs down from the cupboard. “He just kept telling me to breathe slowly when I had that panic attack.”

  “Ink, the guy was singing you a lullaby. He wasn’t just talking you off the ledge. He was serenading you.” And thank you, Lisa. My man is gonna love hearing that.

  “Some stranger sang you out of a panic attack?” Evan enquired.