by Jolie, Meg
After their talk, she’d spent the day at Jesse’s. The snow had really started to come down so they’d put in a movie. And then another. And another one still. Along with breakfast, he’d cooked her lunch and then they’d ordered Chinese take-out for dinner. They’d talked and snuggled on the couch, buried under a blanket. There had been kissing and nothing more.
It wasn’t that she’d never spent the day with him like that before. She had. Many times. But those times, in the back of her head, she’d always kept in mind that it would lead to one thing only: something physical. She was now slowly starting to realize it wasn’t about that at all. It was about building something emotional.
And that was a powerful thing.
Looking back, she thought that lazy Sunday just might have been one of the best days of her life. She recounted all of the details to her sister. Also adding in that she’d seen him the last three evenings in a row. He’d been insistent that she come over when he got off work so that he could make her dinner. Carly had briefly wondered if that was too much, but he’d told her without apology that he wanted to see her as much as possible over her winter break.
“You should see the blissful look on your face,” Quinn said when Carly finished.
A small smile tugged at the corners of Quinn’s mouth. Carly was relieved to see it. Quinn had always had mixed feelings about the two of them together. Judging by the look on her face, she just might approve of Carly and Jesse finally being together. That alone meant the world to Carly. There was one thing left that she hadn’t confided in her sister. Not because she didn’t trust her sister with the information. It was more that she didn’t trust that the information was real. She fidgeted with the trim of a throw pillow, trying to find the courage to say the words out loud. Saying them out loud would almost make them feel real. It would be harder to convince herself that she hadn’t only imagined that he’d said them.
She took a deep breath and spilled the very last detail to Quinn.
“Quinn, he said he loved me. He said it twice,” Carly said, sounding as stunned as she felt. “The first time, I thought maybe it just slipped out because he was trying to prove a point. Or…or I have no idea. The second time, I didn’t know what to think. Except that maybe I’d imagined it. Or he didn’t mean it the way it sounded. Or—”
“Or, he meant it exactly the way it sounded,” Quinn said with a little shrug. “What did you say?”
“I didn’t say anything. I mean, it wasn’t like he was making some big proclamation, waiting for me to say it back. He just kind of worked it into this little speech he gave me.”
“I can’t say I’m all that surprised. I mean, with the history you two have.”
“Do you think he meant it?” Carly asked in surprise.
Quinn gave her a look that said yes, she thought he meant it.
“The last few days, when I’ve left his house, I just feel so happy. But then when I’m here all alone, and he’s at work, and I have time to think…All I can think about is how this has the potential to turn into a huge mess. Up until last week, I was engaged. I don’t want Jesse to be a rebound, you know? Someone I run to because he’s familiar. I don’t want to turn to Jesse to try to get over Nolan.”
Quinn raised an eyebrow and started in with a great deal of determination. “Do you know what I think? I’m going to tell you. I think that you have it backwards. I think Nolan was your rebound. I think you’ve spent most of your life trying to get over Jesse. And you can’t. And trying to make things work with some other guy? It’s just not going to work because where Jesse is concerned; you’re in far too deep. Heart and soul, Carly,” Quinn said.
“Do you really think that?” Carly asked. Quinn knew her better than anyone and she trusted her opinion completely.
“Yeah, I do. I mean, I think you two should take it slow. I think you have a lot of history to work through. But that’s also kind of the point. You two have a history.”
Carly nodded. “Taking it slow isn’t going to be a problem. Not with me at college and him here. It just seems so weird. Dating him, I mean, after all this time. I’m just used to him being—”
“A friend with benefits?” Quinn supplied.
Carly laughed. “Yeah, that.”
“But you love him?” Quinn wondered.
Carly let out a sigh. “Maybe? For such a long time, I thought I loved him. But I also hated him. At the same time, it has always felt so right to be with him. But after all this time, I have to say, I’m having a hard time trusting that this is real. At first, I thought he was joking, just playing me or something.”
“What about now?” Quinn asked.
Carly shrugged. “The more time I spend with him, the easier it is to believe him.” At the same time, she and Nolan had officially been together for well over a year. She had trusted him completely. And just look at what that had gotten her.
Quinn was clearly going to respond to that but Carly just couldn’t take any more talk of Jesse.
“How about you and Luke?” she asked. “How are the two of you doing?”
Quinn let out a little laugh. “We’re exhausted. Either Lydia or Adela seems to be awake at all times. It’s wonderful but exhausting. I feel like I’m not paying nearly enough attention to Carter. Obviously a new baby is time consuming but two of them? I keep telling myself that I’ll get some sleep again eventually.”
“I have an idea. Can I have Carter for the day tomorrow?” Carly wondered. Quinn did look exhausted. Her face was pale and she had dark crescents under her eyes. Carly wasn’t too worried because her sister looked happy and she knew Quinn was right, eventually the sleepless nights would pass. It was clear to Carly that it bothered Quinn that she thought Carter wasn’t getting enough attention. “I would love it if I could have some one on one time with my favorite nephew. I can bring him over here for the day. We can maybe bake cookies or something.”
She had made cookies with the toddler before. Somehow, she hadn’t realized how runny the dough was. When the oven started to heat them, the cookies oozed off the edges and over the side of the pan. They had turned into a charred mess on the bottom of the oven. Carly had spent over an hour scraping and scrubbing the oven clean. The acrid stench of scorched cookies had lingered in the air for days. Sadly, she was sure the mishap was all on her. Cooking was not her forte.
“Or I could take him sledding,” she decided.
“If you really want to, he’d love that,” Quinn said. “I feel so guilty that I haven’t been able to give him much one on one time.”
“I’ll be over to get him first thing in the morning,” Carly said with a grin.
The ring of a phone cut through the room. Carly dug into the pocket of the coat she’d tossed onto the arm of the couch.
“Jesse?” Quinn guessed.
Carly shook her head. “Melissa.”
“Go ahead and get it. I need to get home anyway,” she said. She had already bounced up and was making her way across the room. “We’ll talk soon!”
Carly gave her a quick wave with one hand as she answered her phone with the other. “Hey, Mel, what’s up?”
It wasn’t the first time her friend had called. Carly wasn’t sure if Melissa knew about the broken engagement or not. At first, she didn’t want to know. But now, she realized it would probably be best if she knew ahead of time what everyone was saying.
“It’s about time you answered,” Melissa chastised.
“Sorry, I’ve been busy. My sister had the babies and—”
“I’m going to get straight to the point,” Melissa interrupted. “Dan heard from Nolan the other day. I heard what that skeezeball did. How are you?”
Carly bit her lip for a second. She knew that some people would be asking that question simply to pump her for information. Others, would ask because they truly cared. She was sure Melissa was one of the rare few who truly cared.
“I’m fine,” she finally said. She knew eventually she’d fill Melissa in on everything that ha
d happened with Jesse. She just didn’t feel like getting into it now, over the phone.
“Such a generic answer. Then again, that was kind of a redundant question,” Melissa admitted. “So I’ll ask you something else. Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Well,” Carly said, “do you happen to know of anyone who is looking for a roommate?”
She was met by a brief moment of silence as Melissa thought through what Carly was saying. “Oh, right,” she finally said. “That jackass. I don’t know of anyone but I’ll start asking around.”
~*~*~
Carly let out a sound of frustration that was somewhere between a shriek and a growl as she whipped her phone into her pillows. After hanging up with Melissa, she decided it was time to make her daily call to Nolan.
“Jerk! You jerk!” she seethed as she glared at her phone. She had been calling Nolan every day this past week. Not because she wanted to talk to him but because Margo was insisting they get their wedding deposit back. Carly couldn’t blame her one bit. The deposit had been quite a hefty sum. She’d left voicemails, not wanting him to think that she was calling him because she missed him. Nothing as crazy or ridiculous as that. She simply wanted to make it perfectly clear that she deserved to get her parent’s money back.
She had been tempted to leave him with a few choice words over his choice of engagement rings. She was proud of herself for holding back. If nothing else, she didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing how very much it bothered her.
Because she’d been with Jesse every night this week, her mother was demanding she stay home just this once for dinner. She was dreading dinner for multiple reasons. Not seeing Jesse tonight was one of them, knowing her mom was going to bombard her with questions about Nolan was another. Having to tell her mom that he was refusing to take her calls, therefore she had no idea when she’d get her money back, was the worst of them.
When her phone rang, she lunged for it, assuming that it was Nolan, finally calling back.
Fortunately, she took a second to look at the screen. It wasn’t Nolan, it was Jesse. She tried to shake off the anger she was feeling before answering. When he greeted her back with a warm “Hey, Cricket,” the residual anger quickly faded away.
“Hey, yourself,” she said.
“I know I’ll be seeing you tomorrow night, but I’m just leaving work and I wanted to hear your voice,” he said softly.
She was glad he couldn’t see the color she felt rising to her cheeks. She bit back a smile for just a moment before saying, “Jesse, Jesse, Jesse. What am I going to do with you?”
She was sure she could hear the smile in his voice when he said, “Keep me, I hope.”
11
“What a lucky guess,” Carly teased. “This bouquet is gorgeous.” She stood back from her dresser, where she’d placed them. Fuchsia and pale pink peonies, half a dozen of each, flowed from the top of a sapphire blue vase. The bouquet was truly one of the most beautiful things that Carly had ever seen. She leaned forward, letting her senses become overtaken by their delightfully exquisite scent.
He gave her a little nudge. “It wasn’t a guess and you know it. I clearly recall, when we went for a walk at Quinn and Jake’s wedding, that you said you want peonies if you ever get married. You said they were your favorite flower.”
She didn’t bother to try to hide her smile. She had said that. It was mindboggling to her that he remembered. Quinn and Jake’s wedding seemed like forever ago.
“I didn’t think you were serious,” Carly admitted with a smile. “When you talked about dates and flowers and whatnot. I really never expected any of this from you. It’s not necessary, you know.”
“Sure it is,” he said as he pulled her to him. “I told you. I have a lot of years to make up for. So that’s what I’m going to do. I also meant when I said that I’d like you to come with to boring family get-togethers. So if you can, I’d love it if we could spend some time together over the holidays. Christmas dinner will be at my sister’s this year. I have one of those awful holiday parties coming up,” he said with a smirk. “I’d like you to be my date. Then we have New Year’s Eve.” He leaned in and began to nuzzle her neck. “I have every intention of spending that with you,” he said between kisses.
Carly’s knees nearly gave out on her. She sighed as she clung to him. Who would’ve guessed all those tiny kisses could have such a big effect?
“Good,” she murmured, “because I plan on spending the new year with you too.”
He leaned in for another kiss but Carly ducked out of his way.
“We should probably get going. My parents will be home soon.”
As she grabbed his hand and tugged him toward the door he said, “I don’t suppose you’ve told them about us yet?”
She made an apologetic face as they walked down the stairs. “No. It’s just that—”
“I get it,” he said, not making her say it. “It’s so soon after your broken engagement. And now you’re with me. Someone you’ve had a completely rocky history with. I’m sure Margo is going to be kind of pissed when she finds that out.”
Carly gave him a sheepish look because he was right. Margo was not going to be happy. Then again… “Don’t take it personally. Sometimes I think she thrives on being unhappy.”
Jesse didn’t bother to comment. Carly knew that he knew she was right. He’d known Margo for a long time, in one capacity or another. He knew Margo through Carly and also through Jake and Luke because of Quinn.
Carly skillfully twisted the subject away from her mom as they drove to the restaurant. She did such a good job distracting Jesse with small talk that she’d actually distracted herself as well. She hadn’t realized where they were going until they pulled into the parking lot of Bella’s.
She turned to him with a smile on her face. “Are you serious?”
Bella’s was unquestionably the most expensive restaurant in town. She’d been there a few times with her parents. But no one had ever bothered to take her there on a date before. Of course, she realized, that probably had a whole lot to say about the kind of guys she’d been dating over the years.
“Of course I am,” he said with a laugh.
She felt that she should maybe protest. It would be the polite thing to do. She refrained from protesting, deciding to graciously accept instead.
“I love it here,” she told him as they made their way across the ice-dappled lot. Jesse had his arm looped through hers. Such a simple gesture and she simply loved the feel of it.
“Have you been here a lot?”
She shook her head. “No. And then, it was only with my family.”
A small smile formed on his lips.
“Have you been here a lot?” she wondered.
He shook his head. “Not too often.” He didn’t elaborate and Carly didn’t ask him to.
Once they were inside and seated, a case of jitters hit her. They had spent most evenings the past week together. It had been relaxing and they’d had fun. As promised, Jesse always stopped things before they went too far. Carly would never admit to him that while she appreciated what he was trying to do, she found it disappointing.
Being with him at his house was familiar and comfortable. Being out with him, at a nice restaurant after receiving an amazing bouquet of flowers was new and exciting. She glanced around the cozy booth they were in. The cushions were plush. A candle flickered in the center of the table. Jesse had ordered them a bottle of merlot, her favorite, to sip on while they perused the menu.
Her stomach was fluttering in a way it never had before when she was with him.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
She glanced up at him in question.
“You just have this look on your face,” he said softly.
She gave him a soft smile. “I’m just trying to wrap my head around all of this.”
“It shouldn’t be that hard Carly. I mean, why is it so impossible for you to believe that I want to be with you?” he aske
d.
She glanced around. She wanted to be sure no one could overhear their private moment. “I guess because I never believed you’d want to.”
“Well, Miss Johnson,” he said in a teasing tone, “you’ll just have wrap your head around the fact that you’re wrong sometimes.”
This brought another smile to her face. “I’m so glad you showed up at the bar the other night.”
He nodded but he was smirking. “Believe me, I would’ve found you, one way or the other. I mean, I was bound to hear about your break-up eventually. Either Bart or Luke would probably have mentioned it. And then, you would’ve found me banging on your door.”
She stared at him, having a hard time believing his words were true.
“I mean it Carly. I wish you didn’t have such a hard time trusting me.”
Before she could tell him that trusting him was becoming easier by the day, their waitress showed up to take their order. She was walking away when Carly’s cell phone vibrated. Her hand twitched, reaching for it. She stopped as she realized that was probably rude.
“Do you need to get it?” he asked. “It’s okay. I don’t mind.”
She gave him a relieved smile. “I’m expecting an important text,” she admitted. “If you don’t mind, I think I will get it.” She reached for her phone, knowing if she didn’t read the message, she wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it throughout dinner. And she didn’t want that. She was hoping it was a message from Nolan, telling her the refund was on the way. It wasn’t. The message was from Melissa.
“Good news?” Jesse wondered.
Carly realized she had slumped in relief. “Yeah, I guess. It was from my friend, Mel. Since she stayed in Roseville, over break, she told me she’d look around for somewhere for me to stay when I go back.”
Jesse raised an eyebrow at her. “You don’t have anywhere to stay?”
“Well, I do. It’s just that I was hoping to find somewhere else for next semester,” she said, not wanting to bother him with the details of her predicament. “A friend of a friend just dropped out so she’s moving back home,” she explained. “Melissa’s got a call into their current roommates to let them know I’d be interested.” She nervously tapped her fingers on the table.
