The Boyfriend Cruise

by Deanna Wadsworth

  Aaron immediately struck a pose, and Josh sucked in his gut and smiled.

  “Perfect as usual,” Nathan declared after he checked the screen. “I see you’re geared up already for tonight’s party.”

  “Shouldn’t we have?” Josh said at once, worried when he noticed most of the people in the lobby were dressed for dinner or still in their swimsuits.

  Nathan blew a raspberry. “No worries, mon,” he said in a Jamaican accent. “Relax, evree-ting is iree.”

  “Iree?”

  “Good, cool, perfect,” Nathan said. “Half the passengers dress up for the theme nights after dinner, but the fun ones costume for dinner. The Pride of the Caribbean is all about fun. Didn’t you notice the people wearing fairy costumes?”

  “Oh, okay,” Josh said, relaxing a little. He had seen a couple wearing wings and assumed they were into some role-playing costume thing and chose a gay cruise so no one would look twice at fairy costumes for pool wear.

  “You guys are going to the Caribbean Club later tonight, right?” Nathan asked, his gaze lingering on Josh.

  Could he be into me?

  “You bet. We’re not missing any of the parties,” Aaron said, posing for two ladies who pointed and giggled at his outfit. One snapped a picture, and Aaron pointed to his feet. “Even dressed up the toes.”

  Josh smiled at his friend, finding it easier to watch Aaron than be under the powerful lure of Nathan’s gaze. He had to be the most attractive man Josh had ever laid eyes on.

  Sinfully attractive.

  “My shift is over at nine, and I’m counting the minutes to get you in my arms on that dance floor,” Nathan leaned in to whisper. He smelled like honey and spice—delicious!

  Their eyes met, and Josh went hot all the way from his toes to his cheeks. “Me too,” he somehow managed.

  What does he see in a doughy guy like me?

  “Will you look who it is again,” Mom shouted from across the lobby.

  Josh stepped back and saw his family coming toward them, all decked out in holiday regalia. Clare and Ramona were both sexy elves—as if that were a surprise—and Luke had on cargo shorts and a Hawaiian shirt with gingerbread men. Sensible, like Josh.

  Then there were the parental units.

  Dad could probably be seen a mile out to sea with a suit like a giant candy cane and blinking green lights on the lapels. Mom wore a pretty brown dress with a white belt, black mary-jane heels, a red clown nose, and reindeer antlers with gold bells. She had something behind her back.

  “Nice to see you again, Nathan,” Mom gushed.

  Then to Josh’s horror, he saw the fishing pole!

  “Mistletoe,” she sang.

  Before Josh could run away, she extended the rod and dangled it over his head.

  He froze, eyes wide and face on fire. Nathan was grinning wide.

  “Wouldn’t want to upset the Christmas gods, would we?” Nathan teased.

  Josh’s heart skipped, and though he saw the sadistic glint in Mom’s eye in his peripherals, he only had eyes for Nathan.

  And Nathan was leaning in….

  Josh stared at his lips and forced his own to pucker, the only part of his body that moved. His heart leaped when soft, moist lips pressed to his cheek in a tiny peck.

  “Oh, pooh!” Ramona cried. “Give him a real kiss.”

  “Yeah,” Clare encouraged. “French him!”

  As much as Josh wanted a real kiss from Nathan, he did not want it now and not like this.

  Nathan tipped his head and offered Josh an apologetic smile. “I have to get back to work.”

  But as Nathan walked past Josh, he whispered, “You can have a real kiss later.”

  And then he returned to the photo screens and passengers.

  “What did he whisper?” Mom asked.

  Josh scowled at her. “I can’t believe you brought that.”

  “What?” she said, twirling the offensive object like a magic wand. “It’s clever.”

  “Don’t do that to me again,” Josh ordered, feeling himself getting angrier by the second. “It wasn’t funny the first time, and it’s not funny now.”

  “All right,” Dad chimed in, putting his arms on Mom’s shoulders and pulling her out of harm’s way. “Leave the poor boy alone. This has gone on long enough. Let’s just enjoy the cruise. No more matchmaking.”

  “Yes, no more matchmaking,” Josh repeated.

  “Well, I think I’m pretty good at it. I found Ramona for Luke and William for Clare,” Mom said defensively. “I’d find you the perfect man too, if you’d just let me.”

  “Mom,” Josh pleaded, feeling like an embarrassed fifteen-year-old. He didn’t know how he resisted the urge to stomp his foot.

  “All right, spoilsport. Let’s go eat. I’m starved,” she said in lieu of an apology.

  Josh fell in step behind his family, shooting Aaron a look. “They’re gonna be the death of me, you know that?”

  Aaron laughed and pulled him into an affectionate headlock. “You’ll be fine.”

  Josh risked a glance behind him and caught Nathan watching them. When Nathan winked at him, Josh fingered the cheek he’d kissed, then grinned back.

  If he got another kiss from Nathan, maybe Mom’s meddling would be worth it.

  Chapter Four

  DINNER WAS an extravagant affair, and true to Nathan’s word, half of the passengers were already dressed for the Ugly Christmas Hawaiian Shirt contest. An entire table of people had glittery fairy wings too.

  The Gilberts were not known for their decorum or their quietness, and their table got quite a lot of attention, especially when Mom’s nose began blinking and Aaron started the Legally Blonde “Bend and Snap” move in his short man-romper for the table of cute guys from Ohio. All of them wore wild and colorful Christmas suits like Dad’s.

  “Oh, would you stop,” Clare laughed, slapping Aaron on the butt when he did it again.

  “What?” He feigned innocence as he took his seat. “I dropped my napkin again.”

  “You keep dropping your napkin like that and you’ll give yourself whiplash,” Dad chimed in, and both tables burst into laughter.

  Aaron loved it.

  “Both of my boys are single,” Mom stage-whispered to the group of guys.

  “Mom!” Josh cried. He’d hoped she was done after the mistletoe, but the two glasses of wine obviously brought her back into full gear.

  The other table laughed, and before Josh could be humiliated further, one of the guys, a twinkish redhead, offered, “We’re all single too. Going to the Caribbean Club tonight?”

  “We’ll be there with our dancing shoes on,” Aaron chimed.

  The redhead smiled at Josh, so Josh hastily nodded. “Yeah, we’re going.”

  If the dance with Nathan didn’t pan out, at least he’d make some friends. And if he found a guy before his family found one for him, maybe they would lay off.

  “And you two are not going,” Clare announced, pointing at her parents.

  “Why not?” Dad protested. “Maybe I’d like to boogie. I still have my break dancing moves.”

  “The only thing you’d break is a hip, Jerry,” Mom said at once, and the Ohio boys laughed. “And don’t worry. We’re not going to be out drinking and dancing all night long. We need to be up early to snag some sun chairs before they’re all taken.”

  “Will you get chairs for me and Josh?” Aaron asked her. “I need to get a tan.”

  “Of course, sweetie.”

  Their waiter came then, refilled their wine, and brought around a tray of cheeses.

  “What would you like, milady?” the old Jamaican asked Mom.

  “Milady?” she said with a laugh. “I could get used to that. Jerry, why don’t you call me milady?”

  “Because your name is Hannah and I’m not part of the British commonwealth.”

  Mom and Ramona snorted at that.

  The Jamaican man, Isaac, was not their waiter, rather their busboy—though he had to be seventy. H
e sang them a song in patois and made a great show of rearranging their plates and silverware between courses. Their waiter was a pretty girl—Venezuelan, they soon learned—named Sarina, and she took their orders. Shrimp scampi, fried wahoo, mushroom risotto, breads, cheeses, salads, and fresh fruits were paraded before them.

  Just when Josh imagined he might burst, a familiar voice sang from behind him, “Oh, it’s the Gilbert family.”

  Josh sat up straighter, regretting that last dinner roll but grateful for the loose shirt to hide how he’d popped his top button open. “Hi, Nathan,” he said, all too aware of the Gilbert women watching him.

  “Hi, Josh.” Nathan put his hand on Josh’s shoulder and let it linger.

  The warmth of Nathan’s palm seeped into Josh, and when he kneaded him lightly, Josh wanted to moan.

  Of course he didn’t. He just held perfectly still, wondering how long Nathan would keep touching him.

  “Family picture?” Nathan withdrew his hand, and Josh had to fight the urge to grab it back and not let go.

  “Only if you boys come and stand behind us,” Mom announced. “That way everyone can see my single son.”

  “Mom!” Josh cried when she all but shouted the word.

  “Hannah,” Dad scolded, taking her wineglass away.

  “I’m not done with that, Jerry.”

  “Yes, you are, milady.”

  Nathan squeezed Josh’s shoulder once more, then bent down to whisper, “Go stand behind them, and when I tell everyone to say cheese, you make your escape. The Aruba Lounge is all the way on the other side of the ship. They’ll never find you there. But don’t forget you promised me a dance later.”

  And then he stood, letting go of Josh. “All right, let’s all pose for the camera. Boys?” he said to Aaron, Luke, and Josh.

  Heart racing and a little more excited than he expected, he went to stand behind his parents.

  “All right,” Nathan began, moving his hands like a music conductor, “Aaron in the middle and the brothers on either side.”

  Then Nathan winked at Josh.

  His heart skipped, and the grin on his face wasn’t for the camera.

  “Everybody, on three,” Nathan began, holding up one hand. “One, two, three.”

  Snap.

  Nathan grinned at him and then raised his brows in a silent cue to run. “One more,” he said. “Everybody say cheese.”

  “Cheese!”

  Hastily Josh backed up and hurried away as Nathan took a third picture to buy Josh more time.

  Giddy with rebellion, he skirted waiters and made it to the exit. Clutching the doorjamb, Josh threw a look over his shoulder and found Nathan grinning at him from across the room.

  Nathan gave him a thumbs-up.

  Smiling, Josh waved at him, then made his escape. He wondered if he should go change clothes, put on something nicer.

  No, he didn’t want Nathan to think he wasn’t any fun. He’d keep the Christmas shirt until he saw Nathan again in the club.

  He loved his family, but this whole idea of theirs overwhelmed Josh. And as he walked past the passengers, some dressed elaborately for dinner and others in absurd Christmas regalia, at least he could take a deep breath for the first time since he boarded the Pride of the Caribbean.

  The ship was decorated with garlands twinkling with white lights and festooned with sea shells—a perfect blend of Caribbean and traditional Christmas. Some of the ornaments hanging on the large tree in the main hall seemed to have moving lights inside them, but when Josh blinked, the effect disappeared. He must’ve imagined it.

  Josh found a map of the ship’s layout near the elevators and located the Aruba Lounge. When he arrived, the small bar conjured images of a cosmopolitan martini lounge, but with painted wood signs of vintage surfers and classic surfboards. The corner of the sleek granite-topped wooden bar even sported an elegant mermaid bust, like one might find at the prow of a pirate ship. Rather than tacky, the beachy things were classy and tasteful, some even decorated with tinsel garlands. Christmas music played in the background, an island version of “Winter Wonderland.”

  Josh found two empty stools at the end of the bar and sat down. He could use a drink to settle his nerves. A few moments alone to clear his head and make a game plan to stop his family from humiliating him in front of a plethora of possible shipboard romances was just what the doctor ordered.

  The daily newspaper in their room said gingerbread martinis were the featured drink of the cruise. Josh wasn’t much of a drinker, and though he had two glasses of wine with dinner, he’d never said no to something sweet.

  “Hi there, sailor. I’m Roxy.”

  “Hi.”

  “Can I get you a drink?” Roxy set a napkin in front of him. The woman could’ve been the poster child for how not to stereotype a lesbian. Thick in the middle, wearing a man’s shirt, vest, and tie, she had black hair shaved on both sides, the top long and brushed into a slight pompadour.

  “Yeah, um, a gingerbread martini, please,” he said, then changed his mind. “No, make that a vodka and diet Coke.”

  She grinned. “Counting your calories, eh?”

  “Yeah, I’m already fat,” he said, chuckling. “The food’s so good on this ship I’m afraid they’re gonna have to roll me off if I’m not careful.”

  “You gay boys always thinking you’re fat,” she teased. “Don’t you know calories don’t count at Christmas or on vacation? And this is both, so they really don’t count.”

  He chuckled, liking her already. “Okay, gimme the martini.”

  “You won’t be sorry. They’re delicious.”

  Roxy wasn’t kidding. The cocktail was the best one Josh had ever had.

  “Drinking alone on a cruise,” Roxy observed. “What’s that about?”

  “I’m on vacation with my family,” he told her with a weary sigh, setting down his glass.

  Roxy raised her palms and laughed. “Say no more.”

  “Is this seat taken?” a somewhat familiar voice said.

  Josh turned, feeling the happy buzz of alcohol working through his body.

  The redhead from the dining room.

  “I saw you escaping your family and thought I’d come find you. Seeing as we’re both single,” he said with a cute smile. “Care if I join you?”

  Josh hesitated, but since he couldn’t be sure if Nathan’s offer of a dance implied more, he didn’t want to dismiss more realistic options—like this guy.

  “Yeah, sure, have a seat,” Josh said, sliding out the stool.

  He looked for Roxy’s attention to order his unexpected guest a drink.

  Crash!

  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the redhead drop to the ground.

  “What the hell, man,” the guy growled from the floor.

  “Oh my God, are you okay?”

  The guy curled his lip and glared up at Josh. Brushing his pants off, he stood. “What the hell? Are you twelve years old? Who pulls a chair out from underneath somebody?”

  “No!” Josh shook his head wildly. “I didn’t—”

  The redhead threw up his hands, as if washing them clean of Josh. “No wonder your family has to find you a man. You’re a real asshole.”

  And with that, the man stormed out.

  Every person in the bar stared at Josh in disgust.

  “I didn’t do anything,” he cried. “I swear! The chair must have slipped.” He studied the ground, desperate for an explanation. “Maybe there’s water on the floor or…?”

  But he saw nothing.

  At the other end of the bar, a woman shook her head in disapproval.

  Roxy patted his hand. “Don’t worry about it. You didn’t do anything.”

  “Yeah, except create a terrible reputation for myself on a tiny cruise ship on the first day,” he muttered.

  Roxy gave him a knowing smile. “Kid,” she began, though Josh imagined she wasn’t much older than him.

  Damn baby face.

  “Things are gonna ha
ppen on this ship, and you need to just go with it,” she said. “I’ve been on her now for eight years. And I’ve seen things you can’t explain.”

  Josh eyed her skeptically. “What, like ghost sightings?”

  “Oh no,” she assured him, looking around as if she’d said too much. “Nothing like that. I just meant not to worry about that guy. It wasn’t meant to be, but maybe our ship has different plans for you. I’ve seen more people fall in love on this boat than you would ever believe.”

  Josh had heard the rumors this ship supposedly was on that corny 80s TV show, but a Google search produced no proof. No doubt Roxy teased to make him feel better about being embarrassed.

  I’m not going to find love on this ship.

  Not if that redhead was a blabbermouth. What if he went back to his friends and told everyone what he thought Josh did? Josh’s reputation would never recover!

  While he stewed over the potential rumors spreading, he drained his martini. Not interested in going back to the dining room and finding his buttinsky family, he ordered another cocktail.

  Roxy frowned. “You sure? Martinis are like breasts. One’s not enough, but three is too many.”

  He chuckled. “Yeah, well, never been much of a breast man, so I think I’ll be okay.”

  While Roxy made him another drink, Josh gazed at the door, hoping to see Nathan soon. It was almost nine, and Nathan had made a point to tell Josh when his shift was over. And he’d told Josh about this bar. Would Nathan come find him? Mom had gotten a little tipsy, embarrassing Josh, but if her meddling vacation plans meant a dance with Nathan, he’d forgive her.

  Nathan had even mentioned a kiss!

  Smiling, Josh wondered how much free time Nathan actually had. After all, he worked on the cruise ship. Would they get to spend much time together?

  No, you’re getting ahead of yourself!

  A man came up to Josh, smiling. He pointed at the empty stool. “Is this seat taken?”

  “Uh,” Josh began. He assumed most of the men on the cruise were gay, so was the guy hitting on him too? Or did he just want to sit? Choosing his words carefully, he said, “Sure, I guess it’s open.”