For My Own: A Contemporary Christmas Anthology

by Alison Packard, Shari Mikels, Kinley Baker

  Her answer to his question was no. Wrong meant something could be fixed. Nothing was fixable here. “Everything’s great.” Because it was. Under the stars, with the trees lighted and a handsome man wrapped around her, what more could she want?

  Sadness was forbidden around this time of year. She continued to tell herself this every year and she usually managed to believe herself. This wasn’t the time to allow herself to sink down into the well of unhappiness. She’d never allowed anyone to see her fall, and she wouldn’t now.

  Remembering how Griff had been there to catch her that first day, perhaps someone really had been there to see her fall. The thought made her uncomfortable. Of course that wasn’t what she’d meant. She’d meant it figuratively. The fact it applied in reality was completely disconcerting, and she really needed to stop thinking about this.

  Nothing good came from dwelling. Her mom had always said so. Hannah had done her best to live by that code. There was no reason she should be struggling with it now. The ceremony finished, and she forced herself to become absorbed in the display.

  People started to drift away, and Hannah knew she had to get her act together when she spoke to Griff again. One deep breath and she was ready.

  She smiled and turned. “Wasn’t that amazing?”

  There was something off about his expression, but she couldn’t say what. “It was fine.”

  “Fine?” she demanded. The man was completely hopeless. “How can you say that beautiful display of lights and community was just fine?” She was rolling with her indignation now.

  His lips did move a fraction. “Beautiful display of lights and community?”

  Now he was mocking her again. “By the time I’m done with you, you’re going to appreciate the holiday season.” That was all that was missing in her life at the moment.

  “No chance.”

  “Sounds like a dare.” She liked dares, not that she took on many. This was one she could totally win.

  “There’s no dare either.” He pulled on her and maneuvered them so they were walking down the street and he had one arm around her.

  “Chicken.” She was enjoying herself now.

  He glowered down at her. That was more familiar and completely satisfying. She probably shouldn’t enjoy his testy moods so much.

  “I’m not a chicken.” He looked more than irritated, but he didn’t pull away.

  “Bawk.” A genuine giggle might have escaped her. A ridiculous—against all her rules—giggle.

  He stopped in his tracks. “Did you just bawk at me?”

  She smiled. See? This was the perfect night.

  He kissed her, making it even better. She allowed herself to be caught up. When he pulled back, she sighed in disappointment.

  He stared at her for a second too long.

  “What?” she asked.

  “I guess you’re just a chicken kisser.” He started walking again.

  She followed. But then she punched him in the arm. “I’ll consider this battle a draw.” And he had her thankfulness for managing to distract her. Fun was the thing she needed to bring her thoughts back on track. Everything was going to be fine. Not that she’d ever been satisfied with the word fine.

  Chapter Four

  Griff had known for a while that a guy’s life could change in a week, but he hadn’t imagined things would change this much. He found himself spending all his free time with Hannah, waiting for her to reveal some of her pain again. He figured he would know she was holding back from him even without the hint from her sisters. Hannah probably thought she was fooling everyone, but she wasn’t.

  She disappeared into these moods that dimmed all her enthusiastic edges. A few weeks ago, he would have thought he would have liked that version of Hannah better. Now he understood he didn’t. She made him laugh, she made him care. The feat was pretty extraordinary.

  How many people in his life had managed to make him care? Very few in the last ten years. His bad experiences with his mother made him careful, not that his mother deserved to affect his life. He couldn’t let his mother get to him, or allow memories to get in the way of his relationship with Hannah.

  Other than a few road bumps, they were getting along well. Really well. So well, in fact, he was on his way to the drug store for some supplies. It looked like date eight wasn’t going to kill him like date three almost had.

  The thing about small towns, though, was that a man could never make it from his truck to the store without being stopped. He hadn’t been held up yet, but Steve was coming up in front of him. The man waved, and Griff knew he had to socialize.

  “How are things?” Steve asked, wearing the hugest grin a man could pull off without cracking his own face.

  “Fine.” He answered with the usual.

  “Do you want me to work some this weekend? I’ve got some time. Could use some serious manual labor.”

  One of these days, Griff was going to get curious and ask Steve why he needed so much manual labor. It wouldn’t be today. God help him. “Sure. Anytime.” He wouldn’t turn down help.

  “What are you up to?”

  “Nothing much.” He was up to a lot, but he preferred to do his up-ness in private. If he could manage it. More than one townsperson was wandering the square.

  Steve didn’t press him. “See ya around.”

  Griff waved, but when he looked back, Steve was looking at him, maybe studying him, as if he knew something Griff didn’t. This town was kooky. There was no other way to describe it. At least he was free to get on with his business now.

  He entered the small store, a bell dinging at his arrival as was the usual, and nodded at Mrs. Mayberry. He browsed the aisles before settling on his purchase, as was his usual. The bell dinged again. He ignored it. But then the bell dinged again. And again.

  His brows drew together. When he looked up, the door continued the ding of welcome. He’d never been in this store with more than one or two other people. People were looking at him, and he tried to shake it off. It soon became apparent by the uncomfortable loitering that his fellow shoppers were up to no good. He should have known.

  Realization came hard and fast. He was being hunted by the town busybodies. Elderly ladies with their large purses, men with rolled-up newspapers under their arms. He was being watched as though his next wrong move would lead to his inevitable demise.

  He set down the can of peas he’d picked up out of nerves—he’d never had any intention of buying them. There was only one thing he’d come into the store to buy, but with the audience pretending not to pay attention, God help him if he was going through with the purchase.

  His hesitation gave him time to think about the woman he was here for. In the past week, he and Hannah had been on more than six dates. They’d watched a movie, which Hannah had talked all the way through. It should have been annoying, but he’d found her commentary enhanced his viewing experience.

  They’d been to the diner for lunch, and the whole place had stared at them. Kind of like now. He’d never been through a more awkward experience before then, but Hannah’s delight had made it worth it. She liked watching him suffer, and it really shouldn’t turn him on.

  A few other similarly disastrous meals and a walk through the park had made him realize he did in fact want Hannah in ways he never had another in his life. But it was the night of the lighting ceremony he’d found himself caught on her line like a fish, even if she held on to her secrets for now. Whatever it was about her that snared him, he liked the way he smiled around her. He hadn’t even minded the town’s interest in their relationship. Until today.

  He moved to examine some soda cans, even though he didn’t drink the stuff. Two other women currently occupied the same aisle. They probably weren’t soda drinkers either. They were gossips, was what they were.

  His mind lingered to the last time he’d seen Hannah. She’d waggled her brows, told him to be prepared, and said she was coming over tonight. She’d be staying with him. If she said yes, he’d come
running.

  Part of him figured he should be fighting for more power in their relationship, and the other half couldn’t find the will to start the battle. Her authoritative teacher’s voice took control, and he followed along for the ride.

  Tonight, they’d be taking things all the way. Thank god. He was having trouble keeping his paws to himself. All their dates had taken place in town and in public. She was toying with him, but maybe he’d deserved it.

  Either way, she’d forgiven him. They were well on their way to serious. All he had to do was come prepared. Which to him meant protection.

  Earlier, he’d dug around in his drawer at home only to find his condoms were expired. How sad was that? He guessed when you went without, time could fly and it became routine. Still, he’d jumped into his truck and rolled into town.

  Everyone seemed to know he was taking the next step with Hannah. They’d followed him inside and now wouldn’t leave. They couldn’t be more obvious. No wonder Steve had given him that look.

  How was Griff supposed to buy condoms without the whole town knowing about his sex life? This was not what he’d intended when he’d settled on small-community living.

  He could drive out of town to grab some. Irritation followed the idea. He’d be damned if he would drive an hour out of his way because no one could seem to mind their own damn business.

  This was mortifying. There was no other way to describe it.

  Anger intruded somewhere around the fifteen-minute mark. This was ridiculous. He’d buy his damn condoms, and the ladies could be scandalized if they wanted. Their reactions weren’t his problem. Hannah was worth this irritation.

  He stalked into the health aisle and scowled at everyone staring his way. If he needed to, he’d scare them away with his glower. He reached for the closest brand, refusing to witness the reaction in the room. He held the package for a second, considered twelve wouldn’t last long, then loaded up a handful. He didn’t want to have to go through this again soon. He’d never live this down as it was.

  Taking his mother lode of wrappers to the front, he splayed them over the counter and forced himself to stare Mrs. Mayberry in the eye.

  She smiled her usual serene expression. “It’s gentlemanly to be safe, dear.”

  Heat swept over his cheeks. He stared up at the ceiling for a second, wondering what he’d done to deserve this payback. Maybe he was still paying penance for being an ass to Hannah. If this didn’t make up for it, he didn’t know what would.

  He paid and headed out of the store. Dating the town’s favorite teacher was exhausting, and he’d rather save his energy for tonight.

  * * *

  Hannah folded a sexy nightgown into her overnight bag and tucked her plastic bag protected toothbrush into the side.

  The door banged and caught her attention. A grinning Janey leaned against the frame of her room entrance. “You little slut.”

  Hannah straightened at the amused insult. “You shouldn’t use that word.”

  “Haven’t you heard of taking back words as a means of empowerment?”

  “I think you’re doing it wrong.”

  “You can’t lecture me if you’re laughing.”

  “I’m not laughing.” At least, she was trying not to.

  “Right.”

  Janey hummed to herself. “I’ve decided I feel a little bad for Griff.”

  “Why?”

  “Because he has no idea how deadly you can be. Cate and I are pretty much what you see is what you get. You, Miss Jones, are a whole other brand.”

  “I don’t try to be anything I’m not.”

  “Exactly. You’re prim and proper with a side of wicked.” Janey shot a pair of sexy underwear she picked up from a drawer toward her. “There’s no pretending. God knows you rarely let anyone see your inner demon.”

  She was ridiculously flattered. “You really think I’m as scandalous as you and Cate?”

  “More so. You just have a conscience. Inconvenient. So, tonight’s the big night.”

  Hannah wasn’t confirming or denying. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “You’re packing a bag. Obviously tonight is the night. Plus, Griff was spotted buying condoms in town today. Your love life is the talk of the square.”

  Her mouth dropped open. She knew the town was taking interest in their relationship, but this was going too far. “You’re kidding.”

  “Hey, the guy appreciates safe sex. How can you fault him?”

  The last thing Hannah needed was more people speculating about her sex life. They’d been pretty realistic about their expectations for a teacher in the community so far, but that didn’t mean she wanted to be defined by her intimate choices.

  “Oh God.”

  Janey laughed. “Word on the street is he was pissed.”

  “You don’t say.” She could only imagine the epic proportions of his scowl.

  “Don’t worry about it. Have fun.” Janey turned as though she’d leave. “Oh, and you might want to know he loaded up on a lot of packages. A lot.”

  Hannah gulped, suddenly feeling the pressure. “How many?”

  “Word on the street is he purchased over a hundred condoms. The guy almost bought out the store.”

  Her stomach dropped even as her interest perked. “Um, that’s nice.”

  “Have fun, Sister.” Janey smirked on her way out.

  Hannah tilted her chin toward the ceiling. Was her sister insinuating she couldn’t handle a hundred condoms? She totally could. As long as it wasn’t all at once. Or some mad, insane marathon. Oh God. What if he was a sexual deviant?

  She told herself to breathe. Everything was going to be fine. She was going to pack her bag and head over and allow him to have his wicked way with her. Her body was begging for some attention, and there was nothing she could do to stop the need.

  Somehow she forced herself to get in her car and head to his farm. Music blared in the background, pounding against her temple, but she focused on driving, the only thing that could distract her right now. Eventually, she ended up at Griff’s.

  He opened his front door before she even opened hers to get out of her car. He stood, huge in the doorframe. He ignited every female fantasy Hannah had ever had. Her overactive imagination meant she’d had a lot.

  His dark eyes almost seemed to smolder, and she could have sworn that was only something people wrote about in books. His intensity transcended the space between them. She had to swallow past a dry throat. Again. This man got to her.

  Fishing her bag from the seat beside her, she hooked it on her shoulder. Something had shifted between them. Whatever easy energy had existed during the previous week, it was gone in favor of something much more heated.

  Where had this attraction been hiding? She exited her car and considered it hadn’t been hiding. She’d laughed it away. She hadn’t respected the lust demon. A girl always had to respect the lust demon. If you didn’t feed it, it gained power through abstinence until it was so powerful it bowled a person right over.

  Breathe. It was important she remembered to do the whole living thing. Everything sucked into a vortex of time. She was standing right in front of Griff.

  His gaze tracked down her appearance. He hauled her up to kiss him, and she was a woman who didn’t mind being hauled. At least not by him. Right now.

  He kissed her, his tongue much lighter and sweeter than she ever could have imagined. Warmth invaded her, but his attention to detail never wavered. She fell into the passion like a wave sweeping her under.

  He was the one who surfaced for air first. “I’ve been thinking about this for months.”

  “Me too.” Even though they’d only been talking for weeks.

  She gasped as he swung her around as if she weighed nothing. He set her inside his entranceway and slammed the door shut. She only winced a little when he tossed her bag aside.

  He noticed and smiled a fraction. “Sorry. I forgot how much you like your order.”

  “I
t’s not that I don’t—”

  “I get it. You need it to keep you grounded.”

  She snapped her mouth shut while her eyes burned a little. She’d never felt so understood or had anyone sum her up so accurately.

  “Come on.” He swooped down for her bag and pulled her forward at the same time. “I promised myself I wouldn’t attack you when you first arrived. I got a bottle of wine and everything.”

  The man who didn’t prepare had prepared for her, in more ways than one. Her cheeks heated. “You didn’t have to do that.”

  He shot her a skeptical expression. “Don’t get your hopes up. I know nothing about wine. In my twenties, I made a deliberate decision to never learn.”

  “You don’t have to go to any extra trouble.”

  “I want to.”

  Excitement coursed through her. “No. I mean I’m ready to skip the step where I pretend I’m not turned on and rearing to go.”

  “I did get us out of the entranceway. Technically, I kept my word.”

  “Technically.”

  He moved toward her.

  She stepped back. “One more question.”

  “Anything.”

  “You don’t plan on using all those condoms tonight, do you?”

  An awkward moment stretched. He laughed a booming sound. It seemed to take them both by surprise. She smiled and enjoyed the deep rumble of his amusement.

  “I don’t even want to know how you heard about that.”

  “You really don’t.” Hearing it from her sister was so something she was trying to forget.

  He pulled her in close. “I was planning to use one.”

  “Oh.”

  He must have sensed her disappointment. He grinned, a delicious expression she was pretty sure she was one of very few to see.

  “To start,” he added.

  Once they hit the door to the bedroom, he kissed her again. Her bones melted into compliance. She was his to command. Her hand skimmed up his work-hardened abs. He shivered against her touch. He was hers to command too, the perfect balance of power. Somehow from the beginning, the balance had always existed between them. They’d just needed to figure out the scale.

  He stripped her shirt over her head. She took her turn to strip him too. Their lips brushed with a tenderness that touched her soul. He was the kind of man who didn’t believe in souls, but that didn’t matter. She’d teach him.