by Prairie Heat
He stood up as Mattie laid a hand on his shoulder. “All done?” he asked.
Mattie nodded. “For now. Maria says the dress will be ready for a fitting on Friday.”
“Good.” Jess took her arm and they began to walk toward the hotel. “What would you think about living in Abilene for a while?”
“Abilene,” Mattie remarked. “That’s a Biblical name.”
“Is it?”
“Yes. If I remember correctly, it means City of the Plains.”
“Well, it fits. So what do you say? I could get a job there. We could save some money, maybe buy a place of our own.”
Mattie shrugged. “I don’t care where we live, Jess, so long as we’re together.”
“Abilene then. We’ll be married in the chapel at Fort Dodge as soon as your marriage is annulled, then catch the train to Abilene.” He smiled down at her. “We’ll get a private car and spend our honeymoon riding the rails.”
*
Mattie stood on a three-legged stool while Maria measured the hem of her wedding dress. It was a beautiful gown, as finely wrought as anything Mattie had ever seen. The silk was smooth and soft under her hand as she admired herself in the full-length mirror. She had never owned a dress so exquisite, one that had been made for her and her alone. The neckline was round, the sleeves long and tapered, the skirt full and bell-shaped. It was simplicity at its best, and her only regret was that she would only have the opportunity to wear it once before she wrapped it in tissue paper and packed it away, perhaps to be worn by her daughter someday.
She placed her hand over her belly and smiled, wondering if her child was a boy or a girl. Jess was waiting for her when she stepped out of Maria’s house some twenty minutes later.
Hand in hand, they walked toward the hotel. Mattie smiled at Jess, her eyes aglow. She seemed to smile all the time, she mused, and she knew it was because of Jess, because she was soon to be his wife, because he loved her. But that was only a part of it. The other part was a secret, a wonderful secret she was saving as a wedding gift. She only hoped Jess would be as happy with her news as she was.
“My dress will be ready tomorrow,” Mattie said as they entered their hotel room. “I can’t wait for you to see it.”
“Neither can I.” He cocked his head to one side, bemused by the mysterious little smile that seemed to hover continually near her lips, by the glow that radiated from her eyes. She had always been beautiful, he thought, but never more so than during these past few days.
“Tell me,” he said.
“Tell you what?”
Jess shrugged. “I don’t know, but something’s got you glowing like a firefly. What is it?”
Mattie grinned. “I’m just happy, that’s all.”
Jess lifted one dark brow. “Just happy?”
“Extremely happy.”
“Okay, have it your way.” He placed his hands on her waist and drew her close. “Would you like to get married this Sunday?”
“Can we?” Mattie exclaimed happily. “What about the annulment?”
“I sent another wire to Santa Fe yesterday,” Jess replied, grinning broadly. “Got the answer this morning. You’re no longer married to Josiah Thornton. So, Miss Conway, would you like to marry me Sunday morning?”
Mattie nodded, her smile radiant, as she said, “Yes please.”
Jess chuckled, amused by her polite response, his heart drumming with the knowledge that she would soon be his. Only his.
Abruptly, the smile faded from his lips and he drew her closer, burying his face in her hair. He loved her beyond words, loved her so much it frightened him. He had never expected to fall in love again. After losing Kathleen, he had sworn he would never marry again. Better to keep to himself, to live alone and keep his heart out of harm’s way than risk the hurt of losing someone he loved. But then Mattie had come along and he’d been helpless against her. She had awakened feelings he had thought dead. She had cleansed his heart and chased the bitterness from his soul. And he was afraid again. Afraid of losing her.
He closed his eyes, and an image of bright yellow cotton stained with blood filled his thoughts. The sound of gunfire echoed in his mind, the smell of gunsmoke and blood filled his nostrils.
“Mattie.” His arms tightened around her, as if he would never let her go.
“Jess, what is it?” She drew back so she could see his face. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He loosened his hold on her but didn’t let her go.
“You can tell me,” she coaxed, alarmed by the haunted expression in his eyes.
Jess shook his head, not wanting to admit his fears, his weakness, afraid somehow that if he voiced them aloud, it would make them come true.
Mattie pressed a hand over her belly. “Are you having second thoughts about the wedding?”
“No.”
“Then what is it? Please, Jess, let’s not have any secrets between us.” Mattie smiled inwardly, knowing she was keeping the biggest secret of all, but only until Sunday.
Jess tucked her head under his chin, one hand cupping her waist, the other stroking her hair. “I love you, Mattie,” he whispered, his voice so low she could hardly hear him. “I…” He swore softly, wondering how he could explain it to her without sounding like a frightened child.
Mattie stood quiet in his arms, waiting for him to go on. And then, in a clear burst of intuition, she knew what he was thinking, what he was afraid of.
“I won’t leave you, Jess,” she said fervently. “I promise.”
“She didn’t want to leave me either,” he murmured hoarsely.
And he saw it all again, clear and vivid in every detail. He heard the gunshots, saw the confusion as townspeople ran for cover. He felt the weight of the gun in his hand as he drew and fired at Kane and missed, saw his deputy fall, wounded by a bullet from Kane’s gun, relived the horror of seeing Kathleen step onto the boardwalk. He heard his own voice, shrill with terror, as he hollered at her to go back. In his mind’s eye, he saw Kane lift his gun in his direction and he knew he was going to be killed.
He had stared at Kathleen, knowing his life was about to end and he would never see her again, and then Kane’s bullet had ricocheted off the wheel of a nearby wagon and slammed into Kathleen’s chest. He had watched in horrified disbelief as she tumbled down the stairs, everything else forgotten as he ran toward her. Dropping to his knees, he had cradled her in his arms, tears blurring his vision as he called for someone to get a doctor.
The front of her dress was drenched in blood and he had pressed his hand over the awful wound, trying to staunch the endless red tide that was stealing her life away. He had sobbed her name, begging her not to die, not to leave him, and with the last bit of her strength, she had reached up to caress his cheek. “I love you,” she had murmured, her voice barely audible. “Be happy.” He had cried her name, his tears washing her cheeks as he sobbed that he loved her, would always love her, but she couldn’t hear him anymore…
Mattie gasped as McCord’s arms tightened around her waist, as hard and unyielding as steel bands. She could feel him trembling and she ached for his pain, for his loss, for the ghosts and demons that haunted him even now.
Blinking back her tears, Mattie took his hand and led him toward the bed. Gently, she drew Jess down beside her and held him close, cradling him as if he were a little boy afraid of the dark. Murmuring his name, she assured him that she loved him, that she would never leave him, never. She begged him to try to forget the past, to think only of the happiness that lay ahead of them.
Gradually, she felt the tension drain out of his body and she smiled reassuringly, then bent to kiss him as a mother might kiss a beloved child. But Jess was not a child and she was not his mother, and the kiss deepened until all thought of comfort and solace had fled her mind and she was reeling from the impact of his kiss, all her senses springing to life.
Jess wrapped his arms around Mattie and they fell back on the bed, their arms and legs entwined. He kissed
her as if he were a drowning man and she his only hope of salvation. She was here, warm and alive in his arms, and he loved her as he had thought he would never love again. She was his woman, and he clung to her with a fierceness that bordered on desperation, needing her as he had never needed anyone else.
Mattie returned his kisses with all the love she had to give, praying that her love and concern would somehow exorcise the demons that tormented him. He wanted her, she knew it with every beat of her heart; but, more than that, he needed her in a way he’d never needed anyone before. The realization filled her with an aching tenderness, permeating her heart and soul.
They undressed between kisses and then he rose over her, his lean, bronze body beautiful to see. Mattie gave herself to him gladly, holding nothing back as she reveled in his strength and in his gentleness, silently promising with each kiss and sweet caress that she would never leave him, never let him go.
Chapter Thirty-One
Fort Dodge was located on the left bank of the Arkansas River a few miles east of Dodge City. It lay near the intersection of the “wet” and “dry” routes of the Santa Fe Trail and between the two places where the Indians frequently crossed the Arkansas—the Cimarron Crossing, about twenty-five miles to the west, and the Mulberry Creek Crossing, some fifteen miles to the east.
The fort had been established back in 1865 as a base of operations against hostile Indians, but Mattie didn’t see it as a place of defense against marauding savages—it was the place where she would become Mrs. Jess McCord.
The chaplain was a spare young man, with sandy hair and mild brown eyes. He smiled with pleasure at the thought of performing a wedding. Usually he was only called to administer last rites or comfort grieving widows and children. He asked their names, inquired after their places of birth and called on the quartermaster’s wife, Lorna Mae Hodges, to act as a witness.
Mattie stood beside Jess, a faint smile on her lips as the chaplain joined their hands and read the few simple words that made her Jess McCord’s wife.
Jess stood straight and tall, ever aware of the woman at his side, of her delicate hand resting in his. She looked like an angel, all gowned in white silk, her hair like a dark halo, her blue eyes shining with love. Kathleen had looked at him like that too.
He pushed that image away, refusing to let unhappy memories intrude on this moment. But he couldn’t forget, not entirely, and as he said the words that made him Mattie’s husband, he wondered if one day he would hold her, bleeding and dying, in his arms.
“I now pronounce you man and wife,” the chaplain said, his voice solemnly joyful. “You may kiss the bride.”
Jess turned to gaze down at his woman, his wife, and all thought fled from his mind save the fact that she was his now, truly his, and he loved her more than life and breath. Gently, Jess cupped Mattie’s face in his hands, bent his head and kissed her. And then, his heart filling with joy, he kissed her again, deeply, passionately.
Mattie blushed as the kiss went on and on, all too aware of the priest beaming at them, of Mrs. Hodges standing beside her murmuring, “Mercy, mercy.”
She was breathless when Jess finally let her go. Smiling, she watched as her husband shook hands with the chaplain and Mrs. Hodges, collected their marriage license and paid the chaplain for his services. And then they were leaving the fort, riding along the river toward Dodge City.
The sun was warm on her face, and she smiled a secret smile as she anticipated telling Jess her news. A baby, she thought happily. A new life born out of their love.
She was suddenly curious about what her baby’s paternal grandparents had been like. “Tell me about your mother and your father, Jess. What were they like?”
He glanced at her, one eyebrow lifting in surprise. “What made you think of them?”
“Oh nothing. I’d just like to know more about you, that’s all.”
Jess grunted softly, his brow furrowing thoughtfully. “My father’s name was Rand McCord. He was a blacksmith. He was part of a wagon train heading West when he took sick. Folks on the train thought it was typhoid and when he got real bad, they left him alongside the trail.”
“That’s awful!”
“Yeah. Anyway, some Apaches happened along and they picked him up. Nowadays, they would have killed him out of hand and taken his gear, but things were still pretty peaceful back then. While my old man was recovering, he met my mother. Her name was Pale Gray Dove. To hear him tell it, it was love at first sight, and he decided to stay on with the Indians. He learned their ways, fought their enemies and finally convinced her father that he had the makings of a warrior. They were married a year later.”
“Was she pretty, your mother?”
Jess nodded. “I thought so.”
“Were you their only child?”
“No. I had a brother and a sister, but they both took sick and died while they were babies. And when my mother died, my old man decided to go back to his own people.”
“How old were you?”
“Sixteen.”
Mattie made a soft sound of sympathy. She thought of Yellow Hawk, and how he had missed his home, and she wondered what thoughts had gone through her husband’s mind when his father took him to a new land.
“It was hard,” Jess remarked, as though reading her mind. “The only thing I knew about white people was their language. I begged my father to leave me with my mother’s people, but he refused. Once, I almost ran away, but I loved my old man and I couldn’t turn my back on him and leave him alone. He went back to being a blacksmith, but I don’t think he was ever really happy after we left the Apache. And yet he didn’t think he could be happy there, without her.”
“What did your father look like?”
“He was tall, with brown hair and blue eyes. He had broad shoulders and the biggest hands I’ve ever seen. And he was strong. I once saw him lift a horse.”
“You aren’t serious!” Mattie said, grinning.
“It’s true,” Jess insisted. “One of the townspeople bet him that he couldn’t do it. My father could never resist a bet. Of course, it was a small horse. Maybe fourteen hands. But people talked about it for months.”
“I can imagine.”
“He was a good man,” Jess said. “I was always proud to be his son. And hers.”
“They’d be proud of you too.”
“I’d like to think so.”
She had a hundred other questions, but they reached the hotel a few minutes later, and she forgot everything else but the night that lay ahead.
At the hotel, Jess lifted Mattie from the buggy and carried her into the lobby and up the stairs. With each step, Mattie’s heart beat faster, and her happiness swelled until she thought she might burst into a million pieces.
Jess carried her over the threshold, closed the door with his foot, and still he held her, his dark-gray eyes smiling at her.
“Aren’t you going to put me down?” Mattie asked. “I must be getting heavy.”
Jess shook his head. “You’re as light as a feather.”
“Not for long,” Mattie murmured cryptically.
Jess arched one black brow at her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I…” Her eyelids fluttered down, and then she gazed up at him, a shy smile lifting the corners of her mouth. “We’re going to have a baby.”
Jess blinked, and blinked again. A baby? A baby! “Are you sure?” he asked, his lips twitching. “We just got married.”
“I’m sure.” A little of her happiness slipped away at the tone of his voice. “I thought… I hoped you’d be glad.”
A baby, he thought, unable to get past the word. A baby.
“A baby,” he exclaimed softly. And then he smiled, a slow smile that made his dark eyes dance. “A baby, Mattie, that’s great.” He twirled her around and around, a husky laugh erupting from his throat.
Abruptly, he stopped twirling her and placed her on her feet, and now his gaze was filled with concern. “Are you all right?”
“When? How soon?”
Mattie shrugged. “In the spring, early.”
A baby in the spring. The thought left him slightly dazed. He was going to be a father. It took some getting used to, but he liked the idea more and more with every passing minute.
A baby. In the spring.
*
Mattie was smiling with anticipation as she boarded the train and followed Jess down the narrow aisle. At last, they were on their way to Abilene, the City of the Plains, to build a new life together.
She gasped with surprised delight when she stepped into the private car Jess had secured for them. It was filled with wildflowers and greenery. A bottle of champagne was waiting beside the berth.
“Like it?” Jess asked as he closed the door.
“Oh Jess, it’s beautiful!”
He smiled, pleased, then drew the curtains and lit the lamp, filling the car with a soft, romantic glow.
Wordlessly, they moved into each other’s arms. The long wail of a train whistle signaled that the train was pulling out, but Mattie hardly heard it. Jess was kissing her, making her heart pound and her blood sing, shutting out every other thought, every other sound.
The train lurched forward, knocking them off balance, and they tumbled onto the bed, laughing. Mattie gazed at her husband, her eyes shining with love. How handsome he was, how dear.
“Love me?” he asked.
Mattie nodded as she stroked his cheek with her finger.
“Only me?”
“Only you.”
His arms locked around her waist and he kissed her deeply, his hips moving suggestively, and then he rolled over so that Mattie was on top.
“Don’t want to hurt the baby,” he explained solemnly.
Mattie nodded, her heart too full for words. The wedding, the flower-bedecked compartment, and now his tender concern. She had never felt so cherished, so protected, so loved.
They took turns undressing each other. Jess marveled anew at his bride’s beauty, at the softness of her skin, the perfection of her face and figure, at the mystery and wonder of womanhood. He placed a hand on her stomach and smiled, awed by her ability to conceive, to create new life.
