“Can’t or won’t?” Noah demands. “I’ve stuck by you through everything since we met. I’ve proved over and over again that you can trust me, but you refuse to let me in.”
“Is that was this is about?” I ask. “You’re pissed off that I haven’t told you all my secrets? What the hell, Noah? Why are you suddenly so hot to know everything about me? What happened to being patient like a real friend? Like you promised you would?”
Frustration and confusion overwhelm me, and it’s not just my own emotions. Suddenly dizzy, I put out a hand and brace myself, but there is nothing for me to grab hold of. Noah scrubs his hands through his hair, seeming not to notice how he is affecting me. His distress only continues to climb, which sends my hunger nearly into a frenzy. I have trouble focusing on his words suddenly.
“I’ve tried to be patient, Van, but I can’t wait forever. You don’t understand what I’ve gone through just to be near you, to protect you.”
Something about what he just said sets me on edge, but I’m too overwhelmed to understand what it is. His pain is driving my hunger insane. I stumble back. “Noah, can we please talk about this later? I’m exhausted and I… I think I need to go lie down. We have school tomorrow. We’ll talk after school, okay?”
I take a step back, suddenly desperate to get away from him.
“Van, don’t walk away from me,” Noah says as he reaches toward me. His pain reaches out as well, and my hunger roars to life. I spin away and lunge toward the house. Three voices scream out my name seconds before I see the car barreling down the road at me.
Agony tears through my body as my arm collides with the truck’s bumper. The force whips me around and drops me to the ground faster than I can even process the anguish searing through my arm. My mind is almost completely lost to me, but unparalleled desperation grabs hold of the combined pain of Noah’s tortured soul and my shattered arm, letting it run rampant. The only thought in my mind is a panicked one that if I don’t heal my arm fast enough, Noah will see it. In that moment, I thank God for David and his cruelty as the stored energy I fed upon earlier knits my bones back together.
Panicked voices crowd in around me as the pain in my arm slowly begins to ebb. I struggle to get back to my feet before all hell breaks loose, but I can’t seem to get up. It takes several confused moments before I realize Noah is holding me down.
Someone I have never seen before crouches beside me. “Is she okay? I swear I didn’t mean to hit her. She just stepped out right in front of me. I couldn’t stop in time!”
“I’m okay,” I croak, barely recognizing my own voice.
“She’s fine,” Noah echoes. “I think she just fainted from the surprise. Not even a scratch on her.”
I stare up at Noah through blurry eyes. What did he just say? My eyes flutter closed as I try to concentrate. He got to me before my arm was healed. I know he did. He had to have known it was broken. Thoughts swim around, but nothing seems to make sense. It doesn’t help when Ketchup and Zander both shove in next to me, nearly hysterical. Ketchup’s furious voice attacking Noah is the only thing capable of spurring me back to sensible thought.
“I’m okay,” I blurt out. Blindly, I reach out and shove Ketchup back from Noah. “I’m okay. I promise.”
My vision is finally getting back to normal after the massive energy suck healing myself caused. I see only a faintly fuzzy Ketchup and Noah still looking ready to kill each other. Zander reaches in between them and gently pulls me up to my feet. I latch onto his arm to steady myself and do my best impression of perfect health.
“I’m alright,” I repeat slowly.
“Are you sure?” the driver asks. “I can call for paramedics if you need them.”
Shaking my head, I reach out and shake his hand. “No, I’m fine really. I just live right there. I’m so sorry for not looking where I was going. That was incredibly stupid of me. I feel awful for scaring you like that.”
He doesn’t look convinced, but Zander’s presence seems to either scare him into agreeing or reassure him enough that he finally nods. “Okay then.” He digs a card out of his wallet. “If for some reason you need to contact me, here’s my information.”
I take the card as I thank him again. He rubs his balding head once more and shakes Zander’s hand before returning to his truck and driving away. Nobody says a word until he is out of sight. I hold my breath, hoping for it to continue as I turn back around to face Noah. The shock or disbelief I was almost hoping to see isn’t there. Only the firm set of his jaw and a serious dose of anger greets me.
“This isn’t over,” he says, “but you look like you’re about to collapse. Tomorrow, you owe me one hell of an explanation, Van.”
With that, he stomps back to his car and drives away.
***
When I arrived at school this morning, I couldn’t stop thinking about having to talk to Noah at the end of the day. My focus was so single-minded that I completely forgot about having to perform my scene with him. I stare at the door to my English class, praying it will somehow disappear. Maybe the whole school could disappear just for my benefit.
That slim hope vaporizes as one of my classmate’s shoulders past me and opens the door. I trail in after him with my head down. Somehow, I expected everyone in the room to sense the electric tension zinging back and forth between Noah and me when I slide silently into the seat in front of him. It seems wrong that the normal chattering and laughing fills the quiet.
I jump when Mr. Littleton calls the class to order. Crossing my fingers, I wish for a miracle. Maybe he’ll forget that we didn’t do our skit before the break. Please, please let him forget.
“Alright, everyone, before we get started on our new unit, we didn’t quite finish up with the midterm projects.”
My heart plummets right along with my stomach.
“Noah and Van, come on down,” Mr. Little says in a mocking imitation of the Price is Right announcer.
I slump down in my seat, but Noah jumps up eagerly. I expect him to power past me. Instead, he grabs my arm on the way and drags me up behind him. We square off, and I get the distinct impression that I have just landed myself in the middle of an old west showdown. Noah doesn’t give me even a moment to plan an escape…or faint. He launches into the script, which I realize only now is uncannily appropriate.
“I knew there had to be a hitch in this plan. It was too perfect.” His expression twists angrily. “I just never expected that trusting you was the problem.” Noah follows up his words with a lunge and a hook to my jaw. I barely remember to dodge in time.
“You had no idea what you were getting into when you started this, and you know it,” I say, almost laughing at how true it is. My foot snaps against his lower leg, slowing before making any serious contact. “You were a fool for thinking you could walk into something this big and not get burned.”
Noah lets loose a combination of three quick jabs. I dodge each one just as we practiced, even though he’s attacking much faster than he’s supposed to. “You were supposed to back me up!”
“I have too many problems of my own to sit around and hold your hand every step of the way. You got in over your head. I had to protect myself.”
Noah kicks out, aiming for my chest. I bring up my forearm to block and wince as he contacts with more force than this scene warrants. Irritated that he’s taking out his frustration right now, I let a little of my own anger out as I knock his foot aside and counter with a jab to his shoulder. The quick flash of pain that darts through his body is oddly satisfying.
“I came to you as a friend…” He traps my foot and pins my arm beneath his.
I pull in close, nose to nose with him. “I warned you that being my friend had its risks.”
“You shouldn’t have lied to me. You promised…”
“I never promised you anything,” I snap, real frustration making me shove him away from me. I throw a quick punch followed up by a kick to his thigh. “I was very clear with you from the beginning
what the risks and benefits were of this operation. You chose of your own free will to pursue it. I even tried to warn you away!”
“You didn’t try very hard,” Noah snarls. “You wanted me involved. You wanted me to be your fall guy when things went south.”
“I wanted…” The line I was supposed to say vanishes from my mind for a moment as the truth of his words slaps me in the face. I barely block his next two hits in time. Shaking myself, I realize that everything I’ve said was the truth as well. I never promised that I would spill my guts to him. I never asked him to risk anything or “put up” with my strangeness. I never asked anything of him, and I never promised him anything. My next line snaps back with clarity.
“I wanted you around because I thought we could make this plan work together, but you turned tail and ran as soon as the going got rough. I was left trying to piece together your fouled-up plan, so yeah, when it all came tumbling down around us, your backup was gone.”
I kick out to the side, the planned final blow, and Noah falls to the ground. The look on his face says he understands the double meaning of my words clearly. I place my foot on his chest less gently than I should and lean over him.
“If you were truly my friend, you would have stuck by me and never put me in the position to betray you. I owe you nothing.”
I yank my foot off his chest and walk away, facing the white board and closing my eyes. There will be no meeting after school with Noah. I don’t understand why he didn’t freak out about my arm getting broken and spontaneously healing, but I can’t deal with him right now. Yes, I lied about Ketchup coming with us, but he had no right to expect more from me than what I was offering. I was never under any obligation to bare my soul to Noah. My hunger and family secrets are off limits to him, but I was always upfront with him about everything else. I was as honest with him as I could be, but instead of trying to understand, he attacked me.
The burst of applause that rolls through the room surprises me into turning around. Noah is back on his feet, looking rather caught off guard as well. I tear my eyes away from him and am startled to see the rest of the class staring at me, seeming rather impressed and appropriately scared. I freeze under their stares.
Mr. Littleton stands behind his desk and clears his throat. “I see my choice in topics was spot on once again.” His eyes dart questioningly between Noah and I, but neither of us are interested in commenting. “Anyway, why don’t you two have a seat and we’ll get on with our lecture for today. Good job, very… captivating, to say the least.”
Noah and I trudge back to our desks without looking at each other. Sinking into my seat as I wrap my arms around my body, I sigh. This was one vision I had really hoped wouldn’t pan out. I know Noah won’t wait around for me after school today—not after this—but at some point, I am going to have to talk to him again.
Any sane person would have lost it over seeing what happened to my arm yesterday, yet Noah brushed it off like nothing had happened. He was more concerned with berating me for lying to him. That’s not normal.
I have been uncertain about doubting Noah, but suddenly they are back with a vengeance. Something is not quite right about this boy who was so eager to be my friend after stumbling upon me in the alley that night, and I have every intention of figuring out what it is.
Chapter Seventeen: So Close To Breaking
(Zander)
I never really thought I would be able to say that seeing my little sister lying on the couch in the next room with Ketchup would be a good thing. When she stormed up to the truck after school and all but threw herself into it, I knew exactly what she needed. She wasn’t interested in talking about what happened, but it wasn’t hard to guess that it had something to do with Noah. I know Van is in love with Ketchup, but I also understand that Noah was important to her. He was a friend, and losing a friend has never been something Van could stand. It honestly breaks my heart to see her so upset.
I walk past the living room, glad to see she has at least calmed down. I know getting over whatever happened between her and Noah will take much longer. She doesn’t need me hovering over her right now, so I head for the kitchen. I breathe a sigh of relief when I finally get far enough away from Ketchup to relax. As usual, David was right to force me into riding six hours in a car with him yesterday. After two weeks of learning almost nothing but how to control my hunger and then being forced to put it to use for that long, being around Ketchup is much more tolerable than before. It’s still not easy, but it’s enough to allow Van a few moments of comfort right now.
Falling into a chair at the kitchen table, I rub my hands through my hair and hope my grandma is planning to cook something for dinner that will take the edge off. Not going to basketball practice after school as I should have today has left me no outlet for my hunger. I wanted to go very badly, but I knew the second I saw Van after school that she needed me more. I also knew my coach wouldn’t be too concerned about me missing one day, but I’m going to need it every other day if Ketchup plans on hanging around very often.
I glance at my phone, wondering where my grandma is. She said she’d be home before we were in case Van needed her. It’s not like her to be late. Not a second after that thought forms in my mind, I hear the front door creak as it swings open. Eager for something to distract myself with, I jump up out of my chair. The sound of two voices laughing halts me a second later. It isn’t just the two voices that stop me. I know that second laugh.
Marching forward, I turn the corner sharply and stare. “Annabelle?”
“Hey, Zander,” she says with a smile. “I’m glad to see you guys made it back okay.” She stops for a moment and scrunches her face. “Everyone did make it back in one piece, right? Where’s Ketchup?”
“In the other room with Van,” I say, still trying to take in the fact that Annabelle is here.
“Ketchup is here?” my grandma asks. The strained quality of her voice pulls my attention to her.
I wave off her concern. “It’s okay. I’m fine with it, for a little while anyway. Van had a rough day. She needed him.”
The pride that blossoms on my grandma’s face makes me look away. I turn back to Annabelle, hoping she’ll rescue me. “What are you doing here?”
“I just got an apartment in town,” she says happily. “Your grandma was helping me get settled. Then she invited me over for dinner tonight. I hope you don’t mind.”
“No, of course not, but what do you mean? You moved here? To Albuquerque?” I feel like scratching my head. What is going on here?
Annabelle grins. “Yeah! Isn’t it great?”
“But, why?” I ask. I feel guilty for my choice of words as soon as Annabelle’s smile dims. “I mean, not that I’m not glad you’re here, but what made you decide to move here so suddenly? Didn’t you have things you were involved in back at the compound?”
“Well, sure, but nothing overly pressing. I’ve officially been out of school since last May. I just hadn’t decided what I wanted to do or where I wanted to go yet, so I was helping out around the compound until I decided.”
My grandma interrupts before I can put my foot in my mouth again by stepping between us, and it’s only then that I realize she’s carrying several bags of groceries. So is Annabelle, in fact. Hurrying to take their bags, I head for the kitchen. I set them all down on the counter and start to unload them, but my grandma puts a hand on my forearm.
“Why don’t you and Annabelle catch up? I’m sure you could use a break from Ketchup, anyway. I’ll keep an eye on them. Go show Annabelle the backyard and get some fresh air, okay?” Silently, her look adds that I should try not to say anything stupid while I’m at it.
“Uh, sure. Thanks, Grandma.”
She nods and sets herself to putting away groceries. I feel oddly anxious as I turn back to Annabelle. Her shoulders bunch slightly, and I wonder if it’s out of general excitement or nerves as well. I don’t ask. Gesturing for her to follow me, I show her the way to the backyard. It’s a
relief to step outside and finally get fully beyond the reach of Ketchup’s hunger-awakening influence.
I sit down on an old, wooden bench that has been in the exact same spot for as long as I can remember. It creaks a little under my weight, but I don’t have any fears about its sturdiness. Annabelle hesitates a moment before sitting down next to me.
“So,” I begin, “how’s your new apartment?”
“It’s small, but it’s nice.” She leans back against the bench. “It’s so empty. There’s furniture and stuff like that, of course, but it’s weird being there all by myself. I’ve never lived on my own before. I’ve never even had my own room! I’ve been living in a huge dorm filled with dozens of girls most of my life.”
I laugh, not at her, but because I realize she’s right. Two weeks ago, I was the one dropped into her world with no clue about what was going on. Now our roles have been reversed. I can’t imagine how overwhelming that would be. She’s always had everything she needed within the compound.
“Wow, yeah, I guess that might take some getting used to,” I say.
“Your grandma said I could stop by whenever I needed to. You know, if I get lonely or freaked out being by myself.”
“What do you have to be freaked out about? You’re a Godling,” I tease.
Annabelle elbows me in the side. “I’m also a girl living on her own in a completely unfamiliar place.”
“Yeah, I guess there’s that.” I smile at her, amazed again by how easy it is to be around her. “You can call me, too, if you need help with anything.”
“Same goes for you,” she says. When I look down at her, not sure what she means, she gestures toward the house. “You may need a place to escape to if Ketchup’s planning to hang around more often. You can always come hide out at my apartment if you need to.”
She makes the suggestion so calmly that I don’t immediately understand why my mouth goes completely dry. I swallow, feeling like my throat has just glued itself shut. A flutter of movement draws my eyes to Annabelle’s. The gentle curve of her lips as she smiles shyly up at me makes everything crystal clear. The fear that any sort of intimacy with Annabelle will turn out the same way it did with Ivy is irrational, but shaking it is easier said than done.
Wicked Power Page 18
