“But…”
She shakes her head, not letting me interrupt. “I know that what happened between you and Ivy was hard, frightening, and left scars. I get that you’re not ready to have someone new in your life like that yet, and that’s okay. Eventually, though, you’re going to realize that not every relationship is doomed.”
“Maybe for other people, but my track record says something else entirely,” I argue. The decision to be honest with Annabelle didn’t just start today. She somehow elicited that desire from the second we met. She knows not only about Ivy, but about Lisa as well. That knowledge doesn’t seem to change her mind, though.
“What happened to Lisa was a terrible accident,” Annabelle says, “and Ivy, well, that wasn’t entirely your fault. Either way, there’s a big difference between them and me. One I think you’re forgetting.”
Unconvinced, I can’t help asking. “And what’s that?”
“I’m a Godling,” she says with a smile. “Physically, you’re not going to be able to hurt me like that. I’m not afraid of going toe to toe with you, Zander, even after watching you with James. I see your heart. You don’t want to hurt people.”
“Fine, physically, you’re safe, but that hardly means you’re protected. Emotionally, I’m so screwed up that I can’t even begin to explain.”
Annabelle smiles and shakes her head at that, too. She places her palm flat against my chest, but her gift stays neatly tucked away. My head falls in defeat as I realize she does know how torn up I am inside. She’s felt it. She knows me more intimately than anyone else on this planet.
“It’s more than just that,” I say quietly. “I honestly don’t know if I’m capable of having a normal relationship with someone, Annabelle. I don’t know if I can handle the responsibility of loving someone without hurting them.”
“Maybe not right now,” Annabelle says. She pushes my chin up until I meet her eyes. “Someday you will be, though, and until then, I’m here for you as a friend.”
Pulling her into a fierce hug, I say, “Thanks, Annabelle.”
“You’re welcome,” she says as she pulls back. “Now, about the Richiamos. What do you already know?”
Smiling at her unfailing cheer and tenacity, I get comfortable. I’ve told Annabelle most of what I know already. I even told her about David confirming that if a Richiamos fails, the Eroi kill their family. The only thing I held back then and now is that I got that bit of information from Ivy. I can’t let David find out that Ivy is in contact with me, however brief it was. She’s tried several times to call again, but I have yet to answer it.
I do tell Annabelle the only other new piece of information I was able to find earlier today, which is that the Richiamos do not belong to the Eroi in the sense that they created them. They find them. Not only was I intrigued by this bit of information, Annabelle is as well.
“So what does that mean?” she asks.
I shake my head. “I’m not sure.”
Annabelle tucks her knees up under her chin and stares at me. “For someone like Ivy, then, her family may not have always been a part of the Eroi culture. She may have been inducted into their ranks after they identified her.”
“It’s possible,” I agree, “but I’m still not sure if that helps us.”
“Well, it would if we could find them first.” Annabelle starts to say something else, but a knock at the door nearly makes her fall off the couch. She laughs at herself as she takes a deep breath and stands up. I stand as well, eyeing the door suspiciously. Annabelle pats my shoulder with a roll of her eyes. “It’s just the pizza I ordered. I’ll be right back.”
Still not convinced, I follow Annabelle toward the door. I stay behind her so she doesn’t feel like I’m taking over, but still close enough to help if there’s a problem. I listen to the pizza guy repeat the order. When Annabelle confirms that he’s got the right apartment, I hear the rustle of a box being pulled from the heat-retaining bag he’s carrying. As he hands the pizza over, he takes a moment to comment on how beautiful Annabelle’s hair is. She thanks him politely, but her sweet nature only seems to embolden the guy. Godling or not, she’s still going to be here alone most of the time and I don’t see any reason to encourage this guy to make a return visit.
I step forward and let my frame fill the space behind Annabelle. The way the pizza guy’s eyes widen gives me a glint of satisfaction. I look down at Annabelle, who is holding the box while trying to hand over a tip. “Here, I can get that,” I say as I reach for the pizza.
She passes me the box with a smile and gives the pizza guy his tip with her thanks. As Annabelle closes the door, she starts giggling. It’s pretty clear it’s directed at me. “What?” I ask.
“Nothing,” she says through her giggling.
It’s hard not to smile at her, but I do my best to keep a straight face. “What is so funny?”
Annabelle giggles again. “Did you think the pizza guy was going to abduct me or something?”
“No, of course not,” I say, suddenly feeling foolish. “I just…”
“You just what? Were you trying to protect me from someone I could have taken down in seconds, or were you just jealous that he was flirting with me?”
“I… neither. I was…”
When I can’t come up with anything, Annabelle chuckles and takes the pizza out of my hands. She abandons me there and heads for the kitchen. It’s not often that I feel like a complete idiot. What was I trying to accomplish? Annabelle may look small and dainty, but I know she’s stronger than any normal guy and better trained than most of the military. Was it just the idea of her talking to another guy?
“Are you going to come eat?” Annabelle asks from the kitchen.
“Uh, yeah,” I mumble. Head down, I take the few steps necessary to land myself in the tiny little kitchen. I reach for a paper plate, but Annabelle appearing in front of me startles me into looking up.
“Sorry for teasing,” she says.
I sigh. “Sorry for, uh, getting in the way. You obviously had it handled.”
Annabelle steps a little closer. “I wasn’t offended. You’re more than welcome to protect me, or get jealous, any time you want. It’s kind of nice, actually.”
“Really?” I ask. The way she laughed, I wouldn’t have thought so.
“Nobody’s ever cared enough to do either before,” she says, “so thanks.”
With a quick pat on my arm, Annabelle takes her plate and heads back to the couch. It takes me a minute to get myself moving again. By the time I sit down next to her, Annabelle is once again focused on the Richiamos.
“So, where did you find out that Richiamos aren’t born into the Eroi?”
I swallow the bite of pizza I just took and say, “You know how the Godlings have their book? Well, so do the Eroi. Ketchup and Van stole one from Ivy. David nearly had a heart attack when he saw it. He tried to take it that night, but Ketchup refused. David ended up with photocopies and scans, but neither of them would give up the actual book.”
Annabelle stares at me openmouthed. “Did you bring it with you?”
“Not exactly.” I reach into my pocket and pull out a thumb drive. “Van has the book hidden, but she gave me all the scanned pages. The problem is, the whole book’s in Italian and translating it online is not only slow, it’s not very accurate either.”
“It never is,” Annabelle says. “Those types of translation programs can only tell you the words most of the time, not interpret the context. The romance languages are hard to translate accurately unless you speak the language and know how things are phrased.”
Nodding, I set the thumb drive down in front of her. “That’s what I figured. I also know that every Godling who trains at the compound is taught a variety of languages so you can blend in wherever you go. I was hoping Italian might be one of them.”
“Given that Italy was the birthplace of the organization,” Annabelle says with a grin, “you bet it was. I haven’t had much of a chance to use it outside of c
lass, but it’s my second-best language.”
“What’s your first?” I ask. “Just for curiosity’s sake.”
“Français, mon chouchou,” she says as she pulls out her laptop.
Ah, French. Why does that not surprise me?
I finish the last of my pizza as Annabelle loads the images from the thumb drive I gave her. She starts flipping through them in amazement. “Zander, this could answer so many questions. Wow, I can’t wait to get started! There are so many things I’ve wondered about.”
“Yeah, me too.”
Annabelle’s eyes start flitting back and forth across the screen. I seem to have been completely forgotten until she finds something interesting. One hand reaches out for me blindly while she continues to read. I scoot closer. I was only trying to see the screen, but Annabelle catches hold of my hand and yanks me up closer.
“Listen to this.” She points at the screen. “The life of a Richiamos was not designed for length. Should a Richiamos choose to work with the Godlings in search of self-preservation, it will only spare them a short time. Their lifespan is not determined by Eroi or Godling, but by their creator alone. They can choose selfishness by allying themselves with the Godlings or eternal glory by using their gift of sacrifice for a greater good.”
Annabelle’s voice trails off as she reaches the end of the page and what appears to be the end of a chapter. She turns to look at me slowly. There are a million and one questions in her eyes, but if she is looking to me for answers, I have none. I am floored by what she just read. My brain is scrambling as I try to understand it.
“Zander, what does that mean?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know. It sounds like Richiamos once worked with the Godlings too, and it somehow kept them alive longer.”
“I don’t understand what it meant when it said they would die young, regardless of who they worked with. Could that really be true?”
Annabelle stares at me, so much more than the question shining in her eyes. There is concern and worry… for me. My hand squeezes around hers, not only at the warmth her tenderness inspires in me, but for the reason behind her concern. If this is true, it means that even though Ivy was spared from death at my hands, it may not have gained her much in the end. That realization brings up a strange mix of emotions.
“I… I don’t know,” I say slowly, “but if it’s true, I’m sure they see it as justification for sending these kidnapped and brainwashed teens out to their deaths. They think they’ll die anyway.”
Annabelle turns away from the laptop and touches my face gently. “Zander, are you okay?”
I shake my head and shrug. “None of this makes sense,” I complain. “Why would she have to die just because she’s Richiamos? Why would anyone create something like that? It’s just cruel.”
“I don’t know,” Annabelle says, “but I think if we want to understand… really understand anything about the Richiamos, we need to find out why they were created, what their purpose is, because I don’t think it was to lure Godlings to their deaths. I think there’s a reason they attract Godlings like they do, and if we can find out what that is, we’ll find a lot more answers than just what happened to Ivy after she failed.”
I breathe in slowly, trying and failing to make sense of everything. I never wanted to hurt Ivy. I was weak and I failed just as surely as she did, but I wanted to protect her so badly before all of that. Even though I hate her for what she put my family through, I’m shocked to find the lingering desire to protect her. It’s not protecting her from me this time, but from a cruel fate I can’t even begin to understand.
Ivy and her impending death are far from the only thing on my mind. I look over at Annabelle, then down at her hand still intertwined with mine. Annabelle is everything Ivy is not. Kind, honest, sweet, a true friend… I fear what this will do to her, what it will cost her. I can’t stand the thought of causing her any pain. My expression is serious as I look back up at her.
“Annabelle, maybe you shouldn’t help me with this. These secrets—they aren’t the kind you can find the answers to without serious consequences. And I’m not just talking about the physical dangers. The Godlings are your family. What if you find out they aren’t what you thought they were? I don’t want to take that away from you.”
“First off, the Godlings aren’t my family. They’re the people who took care of me when my real family dumped me on their doorstep,” Annabelle says. “Secondly, do you really think I’d feel better clinging to a group blindly rather than knowing the truth? I know this will undoubtedly be dangerous. I know it could change me and everything I believe in. I’m not afraid of that, Zander.”
“What are you afraid of?” I ask. I don’t know where the question comes from, but once it’s out of my mouth, I realize this is something I need to know. I don’t understand her bravery, but I want to.
The corner of Annabelle’s mouth turns up just slightly. “What am I afraid of?” She places her free hand on top of our already joined hands. Her eyes drop. “I’m afraid of never finding a place to belong.”
My heart rate spikes while my breathing slows. Understanding settles over me, closing my eyes as I concentrate on the feel of her presence. That’s why she came here. It wasn’t just because she has a crush on me. I think she would be happy if I could let go of my plans to find Ivy and the Eroi and give her my full attention, but I think Annabelle would be okay if we remained friends, too. She wants a real friend, a family. She’s willing to risk everything to have it.
“You don’t have to be afraid of not finding a place to belong, Annabelle,” I say softly. “You’ve already found it.”
Annabelle throws her arms around me almost violently. Her grip nearly strangles me, but I don’t complain. “Thank you, Zander,” she whispers. When Annabelle pulls back, I am surprised to realize how much I miss her nearness. I want to stay and be close to her, but unlike Annabelle, I have class in the morning and a curfew. I feel heavy as I stand, pulling her up with me.
“I’m sorry, but I have to get home before I get grounded for breaking curfew. I’ll call you tomorrow, though, okay?”
Annabelle nods. “I’ll get to work on translating the book. Maybe we can get together after you get done with basketball practice and go over whatever I get through.”
“That sounds good.”
With basketball practice already in full swing, it will be hard to find time for this every day, but I’ll make it work somehow. I remember that David will be back next week as well and have to fight off a disappointed groan as we walk to Annabelle’s front door. We stop there, me in the hallway with Annabelle just barely inside.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Alright,” Annabelle says.
It feels natural to pull her into a hug, then. She folds against me, and I feel the tension seep out of her body. A strange sensation plagues me. It’s not unpleasant, but it is unfamiliar. When I hold Annabelle, I don’t feel the way I did with Ivy, that intense and all-consuming need to be with her. It’s different than what I felt with Lisa, even. I don’t yet know exactly what I feel for Annabelle beyond friendship, but I know being with her feels good.
It’s hard to pull away from her and walk back to my car, but I’m already going to cut it close getting home in time for curfew. I hurry across the parking lot toward my truck. As I unlock the door, my phone starts ringing. Expecting that it’s my grandma wondering where I am, I yank it out as I twist the key in the lock and press it to my ear. Words of reassurance are poised on my lips, but an all-too familiar voice cuts me off.
“Why couldn’t you just let me save you, Zander?”
The line goes dead as Ivy’s words echo in my mind.
Chapter Nineteen: A Collector
(Vanessa)
“What do you think about this Annabelle girl showing up here?” I ask Ketchup.
He looks up from the math homework he’s trying to finish before class. “I think it’s great,” he says. “Zander’s been over at her
apartment the last few days after school, so I’m free to hang with you. Couldn’t be happier that she’s here.” He grins at me and immediately ducks his head, supposedly back to his homework.
Reaching over, I snap his book closed on his fingers. “Seriously, what do you think about her?”
Ketchup gives in and sets his book aside for a moment. “Why? Are you worried about her?”
I shrug, not really sure what it is about Zander and Annabelle spending time together that has me all itchy and uncomfortable.
“Is it the book?” Ketchup asks.
Sighing, I lean against the lockers we’re sitting next to. The last few days, Ketchup and I have ditched the cafeteria during lunch and eaten next to our lockers. I feel bad doing it, because I know Laney has felt put out, but I can’t be in there right now. Not only do I not want to see Noah, I need some freedom to be able to talk with Ketchup about things we can’t discuss in front of the others. It won’t be forever, hopefully.
“It’s kind of about the book,” I admit. “Maybe. I’m not sure.”
“Did Zander seem weird, well, weirder than usual when he asked for the scanned images?” Ketchup asks.
“Not really.” I sigh and rub my temples. “He’s always been so serious and reserved; it’s hard to tell if he is acting like that more than normal. I guess it just bugs me that he took them over to Annabelle’s house. She’s one of them. How can he trust her? Why isn’t he working on figuring out the book with me instead of her?”
Ketchup smiles and throws an arm around my shoulder. “Somebody seems to be feeling a little left out,” he teases. My deepening frown only makes him chuckle. After a moment, he turns more serious. “Maybe Zander doesn’t want you to know exactly what he’s trying to find in the book.”
Wicked Power Page 20
