Bohdi: King's Descendants MC #6

by Bella Jewel

  I turn, hanging my head, and I walk out of the shack.

  Maybe she’s right.

  Maybe I am just like him.

  A waste of fucking space.

  3

  NOW – MERLEIGH

  “I can’t believe you’re leaving,” Briella says, pushing her bottom lip out as she helps me pack my very few things into a box.

  “It’s time for me to start again. I can’t keep living with all of you and expecting you to take care of me.”

  “We love having you here. You’re part of the family, Merleigh. Don’t ever think you’re a burden.”

  I smile at her. “I know I’m not.”

  “Is this because of Bohdi? He’s been asking where you are.”

  Hearing his name makes my heart ache a little more than yesterday. Each day, it feels like the hurt simply grows.

  “I won’t lie and say it doesn’t involve him, because of course it does.”

  “He really cares about you, honey. He does.”

  “He has a wife, and children.”

  Briella frowns. “Yes, that shocked us all. She seems ... strange. Nice, but very pushy.”

  “She’s still here?” I ask, my voice a little shakier than I’d like.

  “Yeah, she is living with him. We still don’t know the story, or what happened, but whatever it is, there is some bad water under that bridge.”

  She’s living with him?

  That hurts.

  It hurts so god damned much.

  The very idea that she is with him, playing house, makes me feel sick to my stomach. It only makes me realize that I’m making the right decision to leave. If they get back together, if he walks around the club with her, I honestly don’t think I can handle it.

  “I’m sorry, honey. That wasn’t how I meant it,” Briella says, when she sees the look on my face. “I just mean he’s staying with her. They’re not together.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” I say softly. “That’s his wife, he has children. She isn’t going anywhere, and he needs to focus on them. Right now, I just can’t ... I can’t ...”

  “I understand, more than you know,” Briella says, reaching out and squeezing my hand. “Did you have some photos of the little shack you’re going to be living in?”

  I nod, showing her the picture of the one-bedroom, cabin style shack near the beach. It’s not on the water, but it’s only a few hundred yards walk, and it’s private and secluded. It also comes fully furnished, which really helps me. I’ve called a few cafes in the area, and two of them are looking for staff.

  This is the right move. I have to believe that.

  “This is so cute!” Briella says. “I can’t wait to come and stay. You better be visiting us, too. You’re family, remember that.”

  I smile at her. “Of course, I will be in most weekends, and you’re welcome to stay whenever you want.”

  She claps. “Girls’ nights! This will be great. I love the ocean, too. Gosh, I’ll be there getting a tan often.”

  I laugh. “Yeah, I like the ocean, too.”

  I never spent enough time near the ocean, not with the life I lived and then being sold took away all of my freedom. This is the first time in my life that I’ll actually have full control of what I do.

  That’s scary and exciting.

  Briella smiles at me in a way that shows her pride, it’s written all over her face. “I just want you to know, you’re incredible. You’re possibly one of the strongest people I’ve ever met, Merleigh. You’re brave and determined. Considering what you’ve been through, you’re truly showing the world who you are.”

  My heart swells, and I step forward, hugging her. “I’ll miss not seeing you all every day.”

  “You have no idea how much I’ll miss it, too.”

  She’s wrong.

  I think I do.

  I’ve grown to love the club like they’re my very own family.

  I’ll miss them more than they’ll ever know.

  I WALK THROUGH THE gates surrounding the clubhouse. I don’t really want to be here, but I have to return Waverly’s key on my way out of town. Plus, I want to say goodbye to everyone. The chance of running into Bohdi is high, but I’m not going to leave without thanking them all and telling them how much they mean to me.

  I’m not going far, I know this, but it’s still a hard decision to make.

  I round the corner toward the front steps and see Bohdi sitting on the patio with Isla by his side. The two of them are talking, and he puts an arm around her shoulder, his face blank. She makes a pained sort of sound, and then her eyes swing to me when she realizes I’m standing there. My heart is going to bust out of my chest—it’s pounding so hard I honestly don’t think I can take another breath.

  Bohdi turns, and when his eyes connect with mine, the hard expression on his face softens a bit. I rush past, not wanting to speak to him, or see him with his wife, or have to hear what he has to say. My heart is breaking, it’s shattering into a thousand tiny pieces that I’m not entirely sure I’ll ever be able to piece back together again.

  Bohdi ... he did something to me.

  He connected with my soul in a way I never thought another human would.

  The idea of that never going further, like I thought it would, is crushing.

  “Merleigh, wait.”

  Bohdi’s voice has me clenching my eyes shut and coming to a stop just inside of the front doors. I don’t turn, I don’t face him. If I do, he’ll see how hurt I truly am. I keep my head down, trying to control my breathing as best I can. That feels pointless, but I can’t lose it in front of him. I can’t. I’m leaving in a mere few minutes. If I don’t want, I’ll never have to see him again.

  That thought makes me want to vomit.

  I see his boots when I open my eyes and know he’s standing in front of me. I don’t look up. I can’t.

  “Look at me,” he says, his voice scratchy and so god damned deep it makes my chest ache and my stomach twist.

  “Please,” I say, to the floor. “Please just leave me alone.”

  “Come with me.”

  He takes my arm and pulls me, down the hall, past a few bikers who stop and stare at us, and into a vacant room. There he shuts the door, and I have no choice but to look up at him. His eyes scan over my face, the gorgeous hazel with specks of blue making my soul come to life. I’m in love with him. There is simply no other way to put it.

  I’m in love with Bohdi.

  And he’s married.

  With kids.

  “Fuck,” he growls low when he sees the pain on my face. “I never wanted to hurt you, Merleigh.”

  “But you did,” I say, my voice scratchy. “You lied, and you didn’t tell me the truth. You ... I don’t even know you. I thought I did, but I don’t.”

  He says nothing. Typical Bohdi not to speak a great deal. He’s quiet and withdrawn. The way he has always been since I first met him. Yet, I have managed to find ways to connect with him, without so many words. That’s what hurts the most. I felt him. I truly felt him.

  “Isla is my wife, but it’s complicated. You have no idea how complicated. I want to explain it to you, I will, but I have a few things to confirm first. She isn’t the person you think.”

  “Neither are you,” I whisper.

  That looks like it hurts. His face twists, and his expression is as if I’ve just slapped him.

  “What we had, what I felt ... that was the truth.”

  “It wasn’t, it was a lie. The truth would have been you telling me everything, then it would have meant something.”

  “It fuckin’ meant something. If you’ll just give me time ...”

  “I don’t have time,” I say softly. “I’m leaving.”

  Now he really does look like I’ve slapped him, hell, he looks like I’ve punched him over and over, wounding his very soul. “What?”

  “I’m moving a few hours away. I got a little cabin, and a job, hopefully. I can’t be here anymore. It’s time for me to get my lif
e together. Isla showing up was the push I needed.”

  “Merleigh, you can’t fuckin’ leave.”

  His voice. God, the pain.

  “I’m sorry, it’s too late.”

  “You don’t understand, I fuckin’ need you.”

  God dammit.

  I can’t handle this.

  I can’t.

  My heart twists, and I look away as a tear rolls down my cheek. He reaches for me, but we’re interrupted by Isla’s voice at the door. “Bohdi?”

  I swipe the tear away, and I don’t face her. I can’t.

  Bohdi looks up at her, and in a harsh tone, he growls. “I’m busy.”

  “Sorry, but we need to talk. I can’t stay here forever. I need to take the boys somewhere else.”

  Exhaling, Bohdi looks back to me. “Please,” he says, so low only I can hear it. “Please don’t go until I can talk to you.”

  Then, he walks out.

  I stand in that empty room long enough to get myself together, then I go and say goodbye to everyone at the club. They all promise to be around in the next few days to help me settle in.

  Then, I walk out of that clubhouse and get into the car Waverly told me I could use until I could afford my own.

  I hit the road, and I don’t look back.

  That doesn’t mean that the tears don’t keep rolling down my face.

  Or that the pain in my heart doesn’t grow.

  It just means that for the first time in my life ... it’s about me.

  4

  THEN – BOHDI

  17 YEARS OLD

  “Bohdi!” Mom shrieks from her filthy bed in the room.

  I wash the sheets, and she vomits on them again. So, I repeat the process. I try to leave water by her bedside, but she just hauls it against a wall. She lost both her jobs and spends her days in her room, drinking, doing drugs, and passing out. She rarely comes out, and when she does, it’s to eat very little amounts and find another bottle of alcohol.

  I tried hiding them, throwing them out.

  That earned me a black eye.

  Her rage has gone to levels I don’t understand. Gone is the woman who sang songs to me when I was a boy, who used to push my hair away from my forehead and kiss it. The mother I grew up loving, has disappeared. In her place is an empty shell, addicted to drugs and alcohol.

  I don’t know what she’s taking now, but she’s never been violent with me.

  That only started a few weeks ago.

  With every passing day, it gets worse.

  I don’t know what to do anymore.

  I’ve thought about trying to find my father, but what good will that do? It’ll only bring the pain to the surface again.

  I can’t leave her, but I can’t live with her either.

  I’m stuck in the middle with no way out.

  “I have to go to work,” I say to her, when I reach her room and stare in. “Considering you don’t have a job now, I have to try and bring in some money.”

  “I deserve it,” she slurs. “I have taken care of you for years. It’s time for you to return the favor. Get me my pills from the bathroom.”

  “No,” I say, turning.

  “You selfish little brat,” she screeches. “Bohdi get back here. You get back here.”

  I ignore her. It’s all I have left. If I don’t respond, eventually, she’ll stop screaming. She needs help, I know this better than anyone, but I don’t know how to get her help. Without her wanting to do it for herself, I can’t do much. Hell, I can barely afford to eat, let alone find a rehab center for her.

  I have thought of contacting my father, just purely for that alone. Maybe he’ll give me some money, considering it’s on him that she is like this. He left us with nothing. A father I looked up to walked out and never looked back. Surely he owes it to me to help us out. I don’t know if that’s the right thing. I don’t fucking know anything anymore.

  “Bohdi!” Mom screams again, her voice shrill. “You get your sorry ass in here. If you don’t, you’ll regret it.”

  I pull on my work shoes and step outside. Isla is standing on my porch, her arms crossed, her eyes in the general direction of my mom’s screams. She glances at me when I walk out. We’ve been very casually spending time together in the last few weeks. She comes over daily and walks with me to and from work. We smoke pot and she’s learning to surf. She’s a good chick, seems like she’s got it together.

  I enjoy her company. Can’t say I’m fully into her, I’m not sure I have time to be fully into anyone right now, but she’s good to have around.

  “Is she always like that?”

  I walk down the front steps. Isla turns and follows me.

  “She didn’t used to be. My dad left. She became a drunk, and now she’s on drugs. So, yeah, she’s always like that now.”

  “I’m sorry,” Isla says, catching up to me. “My dad is an alcoholic. Me and my sister both get the worst of it. My mom is gone. Same as you, but the opposite parent.”

  “Least you got a sister,” I mutter.

  “She’s crazy and mental. I doubt it counts as having a support system.”

  “Better than nothin’.”

  “Yeah, I guess it is.”

  We walk in silence until I reach the grill I’m working for. I have an eight hour shift tonight, and I’m praying for some fucking good tips, because I’m falling behind, and once I’ve paid rent this week, I don’t think we’ll have enough to eat. I hide what I can from Mom so she doesn’t buy alcohol, but she manages to get her hands on some of it.

  I could take it away, but the backlash wouldn’t be worth it.

  The abuse wouldn’t be worth it.

  None of it would be.

  “I’ll be there with a joint when you get off,” Isla tells me, her eyes flashing. “See you, Bohdi.”

  I nod and walk inside.

  Another night.

  Another dollar.

  Another fucking broken life.

  ISLA’S HEAD BOBS UP and down on my cock, her mouth moving way too frantically, her tongue sloppy and her mouth too loose. I shouldn’t be picky, really I shouldn’t, but I’m simply not in the mood. It’s a struggle to even keep my cock hard, let alone enjoy it. I have too much on my mind, and the girl before me is trying way too hard.

  I nudge her head with my hand, and she looks up at me with swollen lips. “What is it? You don’t like it.”

  We got stoned, drunk and came down to the beach after my shift. One thing led to another and she had my cock out of my jeans and her mouth on it before I could do a great deal to protest. Not that I would have anyway. I’m a man, and she’s asking to suck my dick. I’m not going to say no.

  “Too much alcohol,” I lie.

  She sits up, pushing her lip out. “I suck, don’t I?”

  “It’s not that, I just told you what it was.”

  “Don’t you like me, Bohdi?”

  “We barely know each other.”

  I roll another joint, needing something to take even more of the edge away from my frantic fucking day.

  “But we get along really well. I thought you felt it too.”

  “Can we not make a big deal out of this. My dick doesn’t want to play the game. It happens.”

  “It has never happened with any other guy.”

  “Half their luck,” I mutter, inhaling once I’ve lit the joint.

  “You’re not attracted to me.”

  I exhale the smoke and a sigh. “Never said that.”

  “You haven’t even tried to fuck me.”

  I glance at her. “Didn’t think we were doin’ that.”

  “Do you want to be with me?”

  I shake my head. “I thought we were friends.”

  “So you don’t!” she cries, glaring at me.

  “We haven’t even discussed it, Isla. We’re hangin’ out, didn’t know you wanted more than that.”

  “Why are you so cold?” she huffs, standing. “You don’t even talk to me. You’re such a closed off per
son, Bohdi. If you weren’t so hot, I wouldn’t even try it with you.”

  God.

  Female drama.

  “You done?” I ask her.

  “God,” she screeches, stomping her foot into the sand. “Such a dick!”

  The she turns and disappears into the night.

  Finally, a bit of silence.

  I need a bit of fucking silence.

  My phone rings, as if hearing my internal plea for quiet. It’s Carson.

  “Yo,” I mutter, answering it.

  “Yo, brother. Where are you?”

  “Beach. Why?”

  “You gettin’ fuckin’ laid?”

  “Nope.”

  “Un-fuckin’-lucky. Party up at stone hill. You comin’?”

  “Maybe,” I say, inhaling again. “Got to get home. Work tomorrow.”

  “You just finished work. You weren’t at the beach today. You good, man?”

  “Someone has to keep a roof over her head,” I say, more to myself than to him.

  “Your mom still makin’ life hard?”

  “Something like that.”

  “Well, if you change your mind. We’re here. There are some hot chicks getting around.”

  I’m sure there are.

  “Later, brother,” I say, hanging up the phone.

  Then I lean back against the palm tree behind me, close my eyes, and breathe in the salty sea air. Here, there are no sounds. Here, there is no drama. Here, I’m free. It’s the only place in the world where I can be who I am, without judgement or interruption. The ocean is my haven, and when I’m in it, I don’t feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. There is no noise, no drama, nothing but the crashing waves against the shore.

  It’s the only time I’m at peace.

  And god knows ... I need it.

  5

  NOW – MERLEIGH

  I unlock the front door and push it open.

  My heart is in my throat, my stomach is in knots, and my hands are shaking. They have been since the moment I picked up the keys and drove over here. To my new home. To a place where I will finally discover who I am. It’s something I’ve been dreaming about for a very long time.