Swimming at Night: A Novel

by Lucy Clarke

  She felt Noah’s fingers firmly encircle her wrist and steer her away from the edge.

  Suddenly he stopped.

  They heard the sound of footsteps moving across the cliff top and watched as a figure emerged from the shadows. “Finn?” Katie said.

  He was breathing hard. Moonlight fell across his face and she saw that his expression was rigid. Perhaps he noticed the tears in her eyes, and then saw Noah holding her by the wrist, as suddenly he was storming towards them.

  “Get off her!”

  Noah released her.

  “Are you okay?” Finn asked. “Has he hurt you?”

  “No. No. I’m fine.”

  Finn’s gaze flicked to Noah and tension seemed to pull tight across his body. Finn took a step forwards.

  Noah didn’t move. His back was to the cliff edge. All Finn would need to do was take a few more steps—Noah would be unbalanced with a single push.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” Finn shouted.

  “She fell,” Katie told him. “Mia fell.”

  “I was with her,” Noah said. He explained that Mia had come to the cliff top to help him. That her death was an accident.

  Finn listened closely, his expression unreadable. Afterwards he said, “So you’ve been letting us believe a lie.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “You’re the reason Mia came out here. We were supposed to be going to New Zealand together. We had plans.”

  “I never asked her to come.”

  Without warning, Finn grabbed Noah by the scruff of his neck, forcing him backwards.

  Katie’s hands flew to her mouth. They were only a foot away from the edge. One more step and they’d both go over.

  Finn pushed his face up to Noah’s, shouting, “That absolves you?”

  There was no fight in Noah as he said, “I’m not looking for absolution.”

  “Finn!” she begged. “Let him go!”

  But he didn’t seem to hear her. “How could you leave her? You fucked off to Bali. Didn’t even tell her. She’d already been through hell.”

  “I know she had. And I didn’t want to hurt her, either. I knew I couldn’t make her happy because I couldn’t even make myself happy. So I left.” He held Finn’s gaze as he said, “But it doesn’t mean I didn’t care about Mia. I loved her.”

  For a moment there were no words between the men, only the sound of wind curling over the cliff top.

  Katie felt blood pulsing in her throat.

  Finn’s hands dropped to his sides and he stepped back. He had once said that if Noah had loved Mia, it would have been easier to let her go.

  Katie let out the breath she’d been holding.

  Noah ran a hand slowly over his throat. When he looked up, his eyes met hers. “I wish everything had been different. I’m so sorry.”

  She thought of what he’d given her tonight: the truth. More valuable than anything. For that, she said, “It was an accident, Noah.”

  He pressed his lips together, nodded. Then he turned and moved towards the path, casting a final glance at the sea before disappearing through the trees. As she watched him leave, she hoped that some horizon out there would one day bring him comfort. Mia would have wanted that.

  After a moment, Finn stepped close to her, taking her hand. “Are you okay?”

  She nodded. “How did you know I’d be here?”

  “I came back to your room. I wanted to talk to you about what you’d said … about us. But you’d left. Ketut told me he’d booked you a taxi to Umanuk. So I came here.”

  She looked at him closely and saw the tension melting from his features. She didn’t know what Finn had returned to her room to say, but she knew he’d come up here for her. “Thank you.”

  He squeezed her hand. Her fingers felt warm and safe within his—and she allowed herself to hope.

  “Are you ready?”

  She made a final, sweeping glance of the cliff top—a place that had dominated her darkest thoughts for months. Now she saw that it was just a mound of earth, no more than that. She inhaled deeply, filling her lungs. “Yes, I am.”

  She’d been terrified of this moment: reaching the end of Mia’s journey and having to start out on her own. But as they began to move away, their palms touching, the echo of wind and the rumble of waves fading in her wake, she realized that she wasn’t leaving Mia behind; she was carrying her sister with her.

  When I smell salt air, it is you I’ll think of running along the beach with, your hair flying behind you. When I hear laughter, it is ours I’ll remember bouncing off the slats of the bunk bed we shared. When I listen to soul music, it is us I’ll picture dancing barefoot in the living room.

  I’ve no idea what happens from here—whether I’ll go back to London, or Cornwall, or even fly to a new country—because I’m no longer the same person who once plotted out schedules and itineraries. But I will make one plan. And it is because of you, Mia. Because of us. Tomorrow, I will step onto the beach, drop my towel on the warm sand, wade into the clear Balinese waters, and kick my legs and swim.

  Acknowledgments

  I would like to thank the following people for making this book possible: my agent, Judith Murray, for her advice and wisdom; my friends and early readers whose feedback and enthusiasm has been so incredibly helpful; my parents, Jane and Tony, for their unwavering encouragement and support; and finally, I would like to thank my husband, James, for always believing in me.

  Touchstone Reading Group Guide

  Swimming at Night

  By Lucy Clarke

  The relationship between sisters is never simple, as Lucy Clarke illustrates in her debut novel, Swimming at Night. Katie and Mia had shared the ups and downs of sisterhood—the fierce love and loyalty, the friendship, as well as the jealousy, disappointment, and anger. But a late-night visit from the police changes everything when Katie learns that Mia has been found dead in Bali. Unwilling to believe the evidence pointing towards suicide, Katie flies around the world following the entries in Mia’s travel journal—searching for the truth, understanding, and finally, forgiveness.

  For Discussion

  1. Did you believe that Mia committed suicide? Did you change your mind about whether or not she did throughout the course of the story? If so, at which points and why?

  2. There’s a fine line between love and hate when it comes to sisters: “sometimes the line between the two was so fine it was difficult to see which side you were standing on”. Discuss this idea in terms of the relationship that Katie and Mia have. Does this apply to anyone in your own life?

  3. Noah and Jez provide a different picture of siblings. How does their relationship differ from the sisterhood of Mia and Katie? Are there any similarities between the two?

  4. When Mia found out about Harley, she was worried about being like him—and ending up like him. How much do you think who our parents are determines who we are?

  5. Katie and Mia had the same initial reaction that being labeled half sisters “diluted” them. But after some time adjusting to the news, Katie explains to Finn, “Half: it’s just a word, isn’t it? We still grew up together, shared our childhood. Having different fathers makes no difference to me. We’re sisters”. Discuss the meaning of the word sister. How does it define Katie and Mia’s relationship? What does it mean to you?

  6. What do you make of both Ed and Mia’s behavior following their drunken night together? Do you blame one more than the other?

  7. What do you think attracts Mia to Noah so much? Are they good for each other? Did they really love each other?

  8. Discuss the love triangle between Katie, Finn, and Mia. Who do you think is a better fit for Finn? Do you think a future is possible for Katie and Finn?

  9. Katie and Finn both had cruel words for Mia in their last interactions with her and had to cope with feelings of guilt and blame. Do you think discovering the truth about her death helped assuage any of their guilt? Are they able to forgive themselves?

  10. Do
you think that following Mia’s journey helped Katie to discover more about Mia, or about herself? What kind of self-realizations did her travels expose?

  Enhance Your Book Club

  1. Plan your own exotic trip around the world. Print out a world map and mark the spots you would visit with a ‘round the world’ ticket.

  2. Have you ever kept a journal? Writing your thoughts down can be a completely different experience from just thinking them. Take a journal or notebook and find somewhere peaceful to record your thoughts, anxieties, gratitude—whatever you’re feeling at the moment!

  3. Do you have a sister? Or maybe a best friend who feels more like a sister? Bring a photo of the two of you to your book club and talk about how the word sister defines your relationship.

  4. In her research Katie learned that nearly one million people attempt suicide every year. Visit The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) at www.afsp.org for statistics, warning signs, prevention resources, coping methods, and more information.

  A Conversation with Lucy Clarke

  Where did you get the idea for this book?

  The idea that sparked Swimming at Night came from my fascination with travel journals. I love the colourful places they’ve been written, the pages thick with smears of sunscreen and grains of sand. Whenever I travel, I keep a journal and I’ve often thought how intriguing and tempting it must be to read someone else’s travel journal. What an insight it would give you into who they are. With this in mind, I asked myself two questions that were to be the fuel for the story: Who could the travel journal belong to? And, who finds it and why? From there, the relationship between sisters Katie and Mia was born.

  The book takes place in a number of exotic locations, including Hawaii, Australia, and Bali. Are these places you have travelled to?

  Yes, all the settings within the novel are places I’ve visited. My husband and I spend as much of each winter as we can abroad. He is a professional windsurfer, so we are both lucky enough to be able to take our “offices” with us. Over the past few years, our travels have taken us to Chile, Hawaii, Western Australia, Tasmania, Fiji, New Zealand, Canada, the US, and Europe.

  Which sister would you consider yourself to be more like—Katie or Mia?

  That’s an interesting question as the sisters are so different. I remember meeting a publisher when I was in the process of selling the book and, when I arrived they said, “We wondered which sister you’d be.” In truth, I think I’m a bit of both. A piece of me goes into every character I write because I need to be able to understand and empathize with each of them. Mia certainly shares my passion for travel and the sea, so I had a lot of fun writing her and exploring what drives her. But I can also identify with Katie and her need for structure and organization to make sense of the world she lives in.

  Mia and Katie have a tumultuous relationship, but ultimately share an unbreakable bond. What does the relationship between sisters mean to you?

  I have an older brother who I’m close to, but no sisters. I think this is why I’ve always found the bond between sisters so fascinating. When researching and writing the book, I spoke to lots of women about their relationships with their sisters and what struck me was the complexity of their feelings towards one another. There seemed to be degrees of competitiveness, admiration, jealousy, and protectiveness – but what always stood out was the love between sisters. This became my driving force in drawing Mia and Katie’s relationship. Over the course of the novel I hoped to show that, despite the pain Mia and Katie cause each other, ultimately their love and bond as sisters is what prevails.

  The sea is a powerful symbol throughout the book. What drew you towards exploring the sea?

  I’ve grown up on the south coast of England, so the sea has always been part of my life. Cities are wonderful and exciting places to be, but after a few days I feel an almost gravitational pull towards the coast. I love everything about the sea – the pure smell of salt air, the mirror-calm of a dawn sea, the promise of an empty horizon. My favourite place to write, where I have my clearest thought, has always been by the sea.

  In the novel, Mia and Katie spend their childhoods by the coast, so it forms an integral part of their early memories. But as they grow older, the sea begins to divide them, both geographically and emotionally. It isn’t until Katie begins to understand the reasons behind her fear of the sea that she’s able to find peace in her relationship with Mia.

  Finn and Ed are very different, but Katie loves them both at certain points in the novel. Why do you think this is?

  Some people have a very clear picture in their mind about the type of person they are going to fall in love with – a sort of checklist of attributes or qualities. Katie is one of these people. On paper, Ed is her ideal man, ticking all of the boxes: well-educated, handsome, sophisticated, wealthy. Katie falls in love with him at a time when her mother is seriously ill and perhaps, subconsciously, she is craving the security and safety Ed can provide.

  But then there’s Finn. He barely ticks any of the requirements on Katie’s list, yet she finds a deep connection with him. In Finn’s company, she feels more truly like herself – her best self. And this, ultimately, is what comes to matter to her.

  How have you reacted to the immense interest in Swimming at Night from around the world?

  It’s been absolutely incredible – and a complete surprise! Like most writers I’ve accumulated quite the collection of rejection letters and, at times, it’s been a battle of sheer will to keep believing in myself and my writing. When my previous manuscript was rejected, I asked my agent what I should do. She said, “You take a deep breath and start your next one.” So I did – and wrote Swimming at Night.

  What is the structure of your writing day?

  I’m a morning person, which means I set my alarm early and get straight to my desk. I’m hopeless by evening – it’s as if my creativity fades with the day. I generally write Monday to Friday, so that I have evenings and weekends free to spend with friends and family. Being a full-time novelist is a luxury I’m still getting used to because, until recently, writing had to be fitted around running a business.

  I prefer to write by hand – there’s something about the simplicity of a pencil and a blank page that appeals to the romantic in me. I love to write to music, too. There are certain albums I play to help me step into a character’s mindset, or to inspire a particular atmosphere in a scene. My biggest distraction is sunshine – I struggle to focus if I’m indoors and the sun is shining, so I often decamp to the beach on my bike and then I’m focused once again!

  What’s up next for you? Are you working on anything new?

  Yes. I am SO excited about the next book! It’s set in a beautiful, rugged coastal location in the Southern Hemisphere, where I spent part of this winter researching. The story is based around a young woman who has been recently widowed. She travels to meet her late-husband’s family, but begins to discover that the man she married wasn’t who she thought he was. I can’t say too much more just yet, other than to expect plenty of twists and turns!

  LUCY CLARKE studied English Literature at Cardiff University. She has worked as an advertising executive and a presenter of enterprise events for students. She is now a full-time novelist. She spends her winters traveling and her summers at her home on the south coast of England, where she lives with her husband, James.

  www.lucy-clarke.com

  http://authors.simonandschuster.com/Lucy-Clarke

  MEET THE AUTHORS, WATCH VIDEOS AND MORE AT

  SimonandSchuster.com

  Facebook.com/TouchstoneBooks

  Twitter.com/TouchstoneBooks

  JACKET DESIGN BY OLGA GRLIC

  JACKET PHOTOGRAPH BY ZENA HOLLOWAY/GETTY IMAGES

  AUTHOR PHOTOGRAPH © JAMES BOWDEN

  COPYRIGHT © 2013 SIMON & SCHUSTER

  We hope you enjoyed reading this Touchstone eBook.

  *

  Join our mailing list and get updates on new releases, deals
, bonus content and other great books from Touchstone and Simon & Schuster.

  CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP

  or visit us online to sign up at

  eBookNews.SimonandSchuster.com

  Touchstone

  A Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

  1230 Avenue of the Americas

  New York, NY 10020

  www.SimonandSchuster.com

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Copyright © 2013 by Lucy Clarke

  All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information, address Touchstone Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.

  First Touchstone hardcover edition March 2013

  TOUCHSTONE and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

  The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event, contact the Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at www.simonspeakers.com.

  Designed by Akasha Archer

  Library of Congress Control Number: 2012946644

  ISBN 978-1-4516-8339-4

  ISBN 978-1-4516-8342-4 (ebook)