Hex Appeal: A Hexy Witch Mystery (Womby's School for Wayward Witches Book 15)

by Sarina Dorie

  His head hunched between his shoulders, more like a guilty dog than a cat.

  I pointed to the door at the front of the classroom. “Get out. You just make everything worse.”

  He jumped off the desk and trudged to the door. I was surprised he actually listened.

  “Why are you yelling at that poor cat?” Thatch asked from the closet stairwell.

  My eyes went wide. I hadn’t heard him knock. I wondered how long he’d been standing there.

  “Poor cat? More like annoying cat.” I hurriedly covered my drawing pad with student papers. “He was messing with the papers on my desk.”

  Thatch strode over, taking my hands in his. “Is someone in a bad mood because she hasn’t gotten her quota of hugs today?” He pulled me into his embrace. “Or is it something else?”

  I didn’t want hugs. I still smelled the scent of charred flesh. My back was clammy with cold sweat. I patted his arm and stepped back.

  There was hurt in his eyes. He was trying to be nice, and I had pulled away. This wasn’t how I wanted things to stand between us.

  I wanted to tell Thatch what Lucifer had done, but I also knew it was better not to. He wouldn’t like it if he knew how often I spent obsessing over Abigail Lawrence. My silence was erecting another wall of lies between us.

  I wanted to give him as much love as he gave me, but I couldn’t focus on us right now. Only on my mom’s impending doom.

  “Are you coming to dinner?” he asked.

  My belly lurched. Dishes of roasted human danced before my eyes.

  “Is it dinnertime already?” I glanced at the clock. “I’m not hungry. Maybe I should skip dinner.”

  “You aren’t allowed.” He smirked. “You have dinner duty. Josephine Kimura covered for you last night because the principal was irate when you didn’t show up. She was kind enough to lie for you and said she had forgotten she had said she would cover for you.” He raised an eyebrow. “I hope you aren’t going to get her in trouble twice this week.”

  “Oh,” I said. “I guess I’m an airhead.”

  I seriously owed Josie. I owed him. I owed a debt to everyone, but I was too distraught and distracted to pay back the kindness of others right now.

  He tugged me toward the door. “I heard it’s pot roast tonight.”

  Oh joy.

  After dinner I tried another drawing, but I couldn’t get my groove back until I used the bracelet. I knew it wasn’t good to rely on it. Vega had once warned me that using herbs or charms to enhance wards were crutches for lesser witches. If I weren’t in such a hurry, I wouldn’t have needed to rely on it, but I didn’t see what other alternative I had.

  I needed to improve my skills quickly. I still couldn’t remove or transport an item through a drawing. Thatch had said he would take me at the start of summer vacation. The clock was ticking. I only had a few days left before finals and graduation, but I felt miles away from being ready.

  The following day I discovered I had more to worry about than the Raven Queen. I also had Chuck Dean, wicked principal extraordinaire.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Principal Buttmunch

  “You are the worst teacher I’ve ever observed. You didn’t even know I was in your classroom,” Principal Dean said after the students in eighth period had left.

  Steam puffed out of his suit of armor.

  “That’s not true,” I said.

  I had realized he was there. It just happened to be when most of the students had vacated that I noticed him taking notes in the back next to the sink where it should have been obvious he was standing. He was the only shiny thing in the classroom with his dwarf-made suit puffing out steam at the joins.

  Mr. Dean crossed his metal-encased arms over his chest. “Even Miss Bloodmire tries to make a good impression when I’m in the room. She watches the cussing and even occasionally uses positive behavior interventions when I’m present.” His voice steadily rose as he spoke, growing angrier with each insult. “You act like a brainless idiot, even when I’m in the room.”

  I shuffled the papers around on my desk, trying to ensure he didn’t see what I’d been drawing instead of teaching. “It isn’t very nice to call someone an idiot.” A principal in a public school in the Morty Realm would never have been able to get away with that.

  “Then stop acting like one! You’ve missed three duties this week. And don’t tell me Miss Kimura traded days with you each of those times, and this is her fault for forgetting. I know your mates are covering for you.” Spittle sprayed out of his mouth as he spoke. “What the hell is wrong with you? Are you on drugs?”

  “No.” He had to be kidding me. I’d never done drugs in my life. It was because I was an art teacher. Everyone thought artists did drugs.

  “Do you have some kind of magical addiction?” He tapped his metal foot against the floor. “It isn’t uncommon for someone who looks like you to be using a glamour.”

  “What do you mean, ‘looks like me?’ What do I look like?” A succubus? Like my biological mother?

  “That face. That body. It isn’t real.” He leered at me. “No one is naturally that cute and innocent looking, not even someone with Fae blood.”

  If the comment had come from Vega, I might have taken it as a compliment, a sign of jealousy that she thought I was beautiful. The way he ogled me made my skin crawl.

  “I don’t use a glamour.” Not that it was his business if I did.

  “Don’t lie. I can tell it isn’t real. Anyone can see the difference.” He waved a hand at me dismissively. “I know how you women are with your makeup. You start with a little glamour to cover up a scar or a bit of acne. Soon it’s a few pounds you have to hide, and then the gray hair. Once you start, it’s hard to stop. It’s a gateway drug. There are programs for people out there like you.”

  “I don’t have a glamour addiction!”

  “Don’t raise your voice to me, Ms. Lawrence. Must I remind you that I’m your principal? I expect my teachers to show a little respect.” His face turned a mottled pink. It became a visible effort for him to calm himself. “I’d be willing to keep you on for next year if you agree to get help over the summer. There’s a thirteen-step program for Witchkin with addictions over in the Faerie Realm. I’ll give you a card.”

  “I don’t need to go to a program for addicts.” Probably I needed counseling. “Look, I know I’ve been an airhead for the last few weeks, but I’ve been grieving. I just need it to be summer vacation so I can get through some things.”

  “Right. If it isn’t one bit of drama with you, it’s another. Our incidents of Fae attacks and Fae interfering with the school wards rose dramatically when you were hired on. You’re the weakest link in this school. You always have been.” He leaned in closer than I would have liked. “The only reason I haven’t given you the pink slip for next year is because Mr. Khaba insists you’re distraught and distracted because of your recent abduction.”

  I dodged back, keeping a bubble of space between us. “I am distraught. My ex-boyfriend abducted me on my wedding night. He tried to kill Felix Thatch.” And I’d had to choose between them. I’d had to kill Derrick before he brought me to the Raven Queen.

  Even now as I thought about it, I felt ill. I had killed someone I loved. I was no better than Alouette Loraline.

  Chuck Dean grimaced. “And now he’s dead, and you’re happily married. Sounds like it should be the end of the story. There’s no reason for this level of laziness and incompetence.”

  I was a highly competent teacher. Most of the time. Like when I wasn’t trying to save the world. “I’m sorry. I know I can do better.” And I would. Next year after I saved my mom.

  “I bet you’re sorry. Sorry I noticed what a neglectful teacher you are.” He slapped his metal chest with a fist. “You don’t see me slacking off and not doing my job because the Fae hurt me. I took the lemons in my life and turned them into lemonade.”

  I knew he still resente
d me because the King of the Silver Court had attacked him and not me. He was the one with the broken back. He was the one whose wife had left him. He’d mentioned it once before. Bitterness radiated from him. I stepped back farther, unable to stop sensing his loathing.

  He sneered at me. “You need to toughen up, Lawrence. Stop acting like a victim. You don’t see me sniveling and boohooing because the Fae wronged me.”

  Had he not been attacking me, I might have felt sorry for him.

  I had tried apologizing. I had tried explaining I would do better next year. I didn’t know what else to do. Telling the truth always resulted in deeper piles of doo-doo. Then again, it had once worked with Jeb. Maybe that was what I needed to do to connect with this principal.

  “Here’s the thing. I’ve been stressed because the Raven Queen abducted my mom at my wedding and is holding her captive. I’m having difficulty concentrating at the moment.” I forced myself to be calm, to speak professionally, and to not electrocute him. “I’m sorry if I’m not tough enough for you. Not everyone can be as resilient as you. I will work through this and do a better job next year. After I figure out how to save my mom, it will be easier to concentrate.”

  Had he been anyone else, he would probably have urged me not to rescue her, that I wouldn’t stand a chance, or some other reason he worried I would fail. His next words were so unexpected, I wasn’t certain I had heard him correctly.

  He gave me a pitying smile. “You don’t know that the Raven Queen has her anymore. Your mum might be dead.”

  I stared at him in shock. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Even Vega wasn’t that callous.

  “It’s time you woke up and smelled the corpses. This isn’t an easy life in the Unseen Realm. If you didn’t want a taste of magic, you shouldn’t have gotten a job at a magical school. If you didn’t want the Raven Court coming after you, you shouldn’t have married a man still employed by the Raven Queen, eh? It’s time you stopped being such a fuck-up and admit you have a problem.”

  I had been a slacker lately. I couldn’t deny that. But he could take his snide remarks about my husband and my mom and shove them up his left nostril.

  My voice rose, booming with magic. “Get out of my classroom.” I pointed to the door.

  Imani stood in the door with Greenie. Their eyes were wide. Craptacular. I wondered how long they’d been standing there.

  Principal Dean pounded a metal fist against a table, splinters flying. “You don’t get to tell me to leave. This is my fucking school. I’m the principal.” He used magic in his voice, the sound booming like thunder.

  “I think it’s a bad time,” Greenie whispered.

  The two girls backed out of the room.

  The principal’s face was flushed, a vein throbbing in his forehead. “I give the orders around here. Do you hear? Me!”

  “Yep, that mentality has worked real well for you, hasn’t it? You just give orders and people obey.” I crossed my arms. “Like King Viridios of the Silver Court. You showed him.”

  In hindsight, it wasn’t the wisest thing to say. Two minutes later, after the principal had left, I realized I’d probably just made my entire life worse.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Another Day, Another Hex

  Mrs. Keahi, the school secretary, informed me at dinner that I would be meeting with the principal and dean of discipline at eight p.m. in my classroom. I couldn’t imagine why Chuck Dean would want to meet me in my classroom and not his office where meetings were usually conducted. Unless he wanted to watch me pack.

  Mrs. Keahi handed me a letter that outlined my formal reprimand. I tried to read it without Josie and Pinky seeing.

  I hadn’t ever been given a formal reprimand before. Even when I’d worked in the Morty Realm and I had magically turned all the bananas in the sex-ed class into penises, it hadn’t gone on my record. Or the time that I’d left a class of students unattended after I’d accidentally turned them into frogs. Neither incident had resulted in anything permanent on my teaching record, namely because the Teacher Standards and Practices Commission of Oregon assured me that witchcraft wasn’t on the list of gross misconduct.

  I wasn’t sure why Principal Dean hadn’t fired me on the spot—except that it was the end of the year and staff would probably hate him if they had to pick up my extra classes during finals week.

  Hiding the letter from the principal as I read it proved ineffectual, especially when Josie used magic to remove it from my hands. I was ready to cry as it was. I didn’t want her to know my humiliation. She handed it to Pinky when she was done reading it.

  “What the hell is wrong with him?” Pinky asked. “First he’s on my back this week about needing to wear a shirt, and then he’s on Clarissa’s case about ‘inappropriate respect for authority.’ What does that even mean?”

  “It means someone was sassy,” Josie said. She patted me on the back.

  “Don’t tell Felix,” I said.

  “Why? Are you afraid he might kill him if I do?” Her lips quirked upward.

  “I’ll die of humiliation. I don’t want him to know I lost my temper.” He had told me so many times when he’d been mentoring me that my smart-alecky remarks and insolence would get me into trouble.

  Now it had.

  A spider scuttled across the table. I hoped it wasn’t because I was drawing Josie’s magic out. Not that I didn’t want her to turn into a spider and eat the principal, but I knew it was a bad path for her to go down. Especially because she had shifted so quickly in the recent battle with the Raven Queen. Pinky said the more Josie shifted, the harder it would be for her to hold her human form.

  I scooted back.

  “I hate to say it, but maybe it would be a good idea for you to tell Thatch about this,” Josie said. “It might be nice to have someone there on your side, supporting you.”

  I wiped at my eyes before students noticed I was crying. “It’s a meeting. I doubt I’m allowed to bring a support unit.”

  Pinky drummed his fingers against the table. “I’m pretty sure most Witchkin law is explicit in matters such as this. Not that this is my specialty or anything. I teach Fae Studies and Witchkin History, but we do have a unit on contracts.” He patted his chest hair as if searching for something. As far as I knew, he didn’t have any pockets.

  He reached behind him and smiled. He held up an employee handbook. His fur was dense enough he could have hidden it in his shaggy coat, but more likely he had a magic pocket.

  He placed the book on the table so that I could examine it with him. He slid a finger down the table of contents before flipping through the book. He pointed to a section. “Here it is. It says you can have another faculty member present.”

  Josie reached around me and patted his furry arm. “Good thinking to look this up.”

  Pinky turned a page. “Here’s an even better one. Female staff members are entitled to have a chaperone of their choice when being interrogated by a male staff member.”

  “I don’t need Felix to chaperone me. For one thing, I’m an adult. Second of all, Khaba will be there.”

  “Mr. Khaba has to follow the rules,” Pinky said. “He’s obligated to do his job.”

  “Don’t think of it as chaperoning,” Josie said. “Think of it as a snotty, snide buddy who will help defend you against attack.”

  And potentially get himself fired for his insolence. Or for murdering the principal.

  “Okay. Thanks. You really helped.” I plastered a smile on my face. “I feel loads better. I’ll be sure to ask Felix to come with me.” I stood. “I should probably patrol the cafeteria and be a good teacher for the next fifteen minutes before I get my chaperone and prepare for my meeting.”

  Pinky crossed his arms. Josie shook her head at me. I could see I wasn’t fooling either of them.

  A formal reprimand didn’t mean I was actually being fired, I told myself. It meant I had one more opportunity to prove I was an incompetent i
diot—and then I would get fired. At least that was how it worked in the Morty Realm.

  I knew Thatch would have been more than willing to come with me—more than that—he would have expected me to tell him. We were married. It was the right thing to do.

  I just didn’t think I could handle seeing the disappointment on his face. I didn’t think I could handle anything right now. I was too overwhelmed by the burden of the world on my shoulders. I didn’t ask Josie or Pinky to accompany me. Not even Gertrude Periwinkle, the school librarian, who was savvy with Fae and Witchkin rules, laws, and contracts and had gotten me out of a few scrapes in the past.

  I went to the person who had the most reason to despise me in the school. I found her in her classroom after dinner. Maybe I wanted to fail. I wasn’t sure why I told Vega.

  Only, I needed to trust someone.

  She laughed hysterically when I told her what I’d said. She insisted on reading the letter. That brought on a new bout of laughter.

  “Why do you think they want to meet me in my classroom?” I asked.

  “Mr. Khaba’s signature is on this letter. He’s giving you a hint. Think about it, moron.” She rapped me on my head with her knuckles.

  “Ow!” I said, shifting away. Almost effortlessly, I numbed the pain.

  “They’re going to search your classroom—if they haven’t already. Mr. Khaba is providing you with an opportunity to know they’ll be in there ahead of time. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll remove anything incriminating from your classroom and hide it in the library crypt. Or better yet, burn it. I’d suggest you do the same for your room. You’d better hope Thatch doesn’t have anything compromising lying around.”

  I thought about my art journal with all the drawings I’d been making lately instead of teaching or prepping classes. Surely the pages had traces of magic on them. Forbidden magic. Maybe CSI Unseen Realm had a way of detecting the dates and times of those deeds.