The Not So Bad Boy: Give up EVERYTHING for a bad-boy charm?

by Raquel Belle

  Poor Eric. Maybe he and Hayley were more alike than she’d realized. Maybe he too was struggling with the fear of being alone. Maybe that was why he’d gotten back with Tina that night. Was it possible he could feel Hayley pulling away, could tell that she was thinking of someone else? Hayley wasn’t sure she wanted to find out, but regardless, she looked at him with a little more kindness and understanding than she had three minutes ago.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Eric. I need time to myself. I’ve never really gotten a chance to figure out who I am or what I want, in life, or in a relationship, so I’m going to take some time to figure that out. And, I hope you can do the same. What you did was majorly fucked up, but I believe with the right girl, you’d be a good boyfriend. I’m just not that girl.”

  Eric nodded, looking sad but understanding. “Yeah. I guess you’re right.” He stood up a little straighter and leaned down to give Hayley a chaste kiss on the cheek. “I hope you can find what you want, Hayley. You deserve to be happy.”

  “Thanks, Eric. See you around.”

  Eric nodded and left the deli. In the time they’d been talking, the line had moved swiftly forward, and Hayley was able to order and pay for her soup in a minute. In another two, she was walking out of the deli, soup and a complimentary bread roll in hand, feeling like maybe, she was finally getting her life together.

  ***

  “Soup and bread procured!” Hayley yelled as she jumped into Dan’s car.

  “Excellent. Let’s go pick up James,” he said, and at that, Hayley’s stomach flipped. Even though she knew logically that seeing him tonight did involve actually gazing upon his human form, she didn’t feel adequately prepared. She didn’t feel prepared to see his beautiful deep blue eyes, his silky, sexy hair, the way his smile was slightly crooked at one corner, and she definitely, definitely wasn’t ready for his body.

  Hayley took some deep breaths and cranked up the classic rock coming from the radio in Dan’s car as they drove down the Kennedy Expressway to Lincoln Park, the traffic much lighter than expected for that time of day. Hayley had been hoping she had at least half an hour to run through what she was going to say to James in her head, but Dan pulled up to the curb outside James’ building when Hayley was still deciding between “hello,” “hey,” and “hi.” Which one was the most nonchalant and conveyed both her penitence and her innate coolness, if that even existed?

  “Okay, I’m going to pop-up to James’ and walk him down,” Dan said as he pulled his key out of the car and opened the door. “I’ll call you if I need a hand.”

  Hayley said something nonsensical as Dan left, and went back to fiddling with the loose thread on her scarf. She could do this. She’d just had an awkward conversation with the guy she’d found having sex with another woman in her bed; she could definitely handle a conversation with a guy she’d shared a brief mistake kiss with. A kiss that left her tingling, a kiss that invited her to think about how it might feel for James to kiss other parts of her, too…

  Hayley was saved from further non-PG thoughts by Dan’s knock at the window. Hayley jumped out of the car to help him settle James in the backseat. James, who was nearly comatose. His skin was sallow and sickly, his cheeks sunken in like he hadn’t eaten in weeks. A red flannel blanket was wrapped around his shoulders and he had on an old, battered grey sweatshirt under his leather jacket. His legs were shrouded in similarly ratty, blue sweatpants, and he had on what looked like four different pairs of hiking socks under the sneakers haphazardly tied on his feet. Hayley’s eyes stuck on the socks. Why so many pairs?

  James caught her staring, coughed, and whispered, “Dan went a little overboard on the footwear, but he means well.”

  Hayley laughed, glad that James had unknowingly diffused the tension she had felt building up within her while she’d waited for them. Dan handed her a navy blue fleece blanket and asked, “Can you tuck this around him while I get the car started and blast the heating?”

  “Yeah, because we wouldn’t want my crotch getting cold,” James muttered, and Hayley giggled again. She’d never seen him be quite this wry and sarcastic. Carefully avoiding any and all contact with the juncture of his thighs, Hayley tucked the blanket around James, her hair brushing against his nose as she stood back up.

  “You smell nice, like cake,” he whispered, before promptly closing his eyes and starting to snore.

  Hayley quietly shut the car door next to him and climbed into the passenger seat. Dan had taken the liberty of turning on her seat heater, and Hayley relaxed into the warmth, buckling her seatbelt and making sure the radio was off, so it wouldn’t wake James.

  The drive to Dan’s house wasn’t quite as quick as the drive to James’ had been; rush hour traffic had set in, and they seemed to hit red lights at every intersection. For the first fifteen minutes of the drive, Hayley and Dan were silent, Dan focusing on the road and Hayley taking the opportunity to close her eyes and rest. As they neared the turn-off for Dan’s house, however, he spoke up.

  “So, what happened between you two?”

  Hayley looked over at him, confused. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, why did you look like you were about to take the SAT’s when we picked him up, and why did he groan when I called him earlier to tell him you’d be taking care of him tonight?”

  “It’s… complicated.” As Hayley said this, they pulled up to yet another red light. Ahead of them, traffic was at a standstill.

  “Well, it looks like we have some time, so enlighten me.”

  Looking over her shoulder to make sure that James was asleep, Hayley took a deep breath and began her story. She gave Dan the edited version, leaving out the graphic details of Eric’s position, but told him about her budding friendship with James, her crush on him, their kiss, her fractured relationship with Eric that had ended in him cheating on her, and her failed attempt at apologizing to him on Monday.

  “Christ, that’s a dramatic few weeks. And here I was thinking that replacing Thomas with James would make life easier for you.”

  Hayley laughed. “I guess sometimes that’s not the way things work out. But I think maybe it’s a blessing in disguise, all this. I’ve never really not been in a relationship, and I’ve never really had the chance to just be friends with a guy. If James is willing to forgive me, I’d really like to try just being friends with him, and give up trying to find a boyfriend for a while. I think I need some time to myself, to figure some things out.”

  The light changed and Dan began inching forward into the intersection. “I think that sounds like a good idea, though I’m sorry things with you and James won’t work out. I’ve been rooting for you guys.”

  Hayley whipped her head around to stare at Dan. “You have? How did you even know I liked him?”

  Dan turned briefly to level Hayley with a stare and a raised eyebrow. “Come on, Hayley. I’ve known you for seven years. I know your tells. And you guys have an obvious connection. I wasn’t thinking of you two together when I initially hired James, but once I saw how well you worked together and how compatible you were, I can’t lie and say I didn’t hope something would happen between you. James has had a bit of a rough time with relationships himself, and you two seemed so good together.”

  Hayley smiled at Dan and shrugged. “Well, we can be good as friends. That’s probably better anyway, considering we work together.”

  Dan nodded as he spun the wheel to turn left. “True, though you wouldn’t be the first couple Brightside has had.”

  They drove slowly down Dan’s street, as Dan slowly pulled onto the curb a few houses up from his own. He and Lucy shared the quaint, three-bedroom townhouse in a quiet part of Wicker Park. The house had been a wedding present from Lucy’s parents, and over the years she and Dan had spent countless hours and thousands of dollars fixing it up from its pre-war foundation. The top floor of the house was now a loft they rented out to Airbnb guests, and the basement had been converted into a painting studio for Dan, who liked
to dabble in abstract art.

  Dan got out of the car and came around to James’ door. He opened it, and, gently shook James’ shoulder. “Time to wake up, James. We’re at my house. I promise you can go right back to sleep once we get you inside and on the couch.”

  James groaned in response, but did his best to grab onto Dan’s shoulders as he lifted him from the car. Hayley grabbed the bag Dan had packed for James from the backseat, along with the bag from the deli in the front seat, and closed the door, then followed the two men down the street as they began mounting the steps to the front door.

  Lucy threw the door open just as James placed his foot on the top step, and pulled him into a hug. She was a tall woman, thin as a reed with white hair cropped into a bob that barely grazed her shoulders. Her blue eyes were accented with laugh lines and alight with wisdom, and she was dressed in slim black trousers, flats, and a blue cardigan with a white silk camisole underneath.

  “Get in here and get warm, you poor thing,” she said, leading James out of sight and into the house. Hayley followed Dan up the steps and closed the door behind her, untying her boots and leaving them by the other shoes stacked neatly in the front hall.

  Dan and Lucy had kept the house’s original oak floors, though the hallway was covered in Persian rugs to mop up the snow and rain that inevitably got dragged into the house during the long Chicago winters. Hayley hung her coat and scarf on a hat stand by the door, dropped James’ bag by the stairs, and walked into the living room.

  Lucy was tucking James in on a couch by the fireplace, which was alight with a roaring blaze. Candles had been lit on the mantle, and jazz was softly playing in the background.

  “Now, Dan tells me you have soup, and this kid looks like he could use some sustenance. Want to follow me to the kitchen and we can heat old Jimmy up some dinner?” Lucy said, turning to Hayley and motioning to the deli bag in her hand. The soup was now lukewarm at best. It definitely needed microwaving if it was going to be edible.

  Hayley followed Lucy into the kitchen. Like the rest of the house, the original floors had been maintained. In this case, they were covered in a faded teal blue and orange sunburst tile mosaic. Dan and Lucy were avid home cooks, so the counters were cluttered with various mixers, crock-pots and sous vide machines. Their dog, Robby, was seated by the heating vent at the far end of the room, snoozing away on his plush doggy bed.

  “So, pots are under here,” Lucy said, pointing to a cupboard next to the stove, “and there’s plenty of food in the fridge and freezer for you to munch on. I’m so sorry to stick you with Jimmy when you probably had much better plans.”

  Hayley smiled at the use of Jimmy. She’d never thought of calling James by anything but his somewhat formal name. “I really don’t mind, honestly, Lucy. And I didn’t really have anything else going on.”

  Lucy looked up from where she was trying to fix the clasp on her bracelet. “But what about Eric?” she asked.

  Hayley was surprised for a moment, wondering how Lucy knew about her ex, until she remembered that she and Eric had run into Lucy and Dan on one of their first dates. They’d gone to see a play at the local theater and had bumped into Lucy and Dan at the bar during intermission.

  At Hayley’s silence, Lucy nodded her head and gave her a knowing look. “Ah. Well, if it wasn’t right, it’s probably best to end it now, huh?” Hayley nodded, glad for once of Lucy’s bluntness— it meant she didn’t have to try and awkwardly explain her recent breakup. Lucy was just opening her mouth to say something when Dan walked into the kitchen. He’d changed into a suit and combed his hair, transforming himself from a scruffy pre-school principal into a dashing professor’s husband.

  “Well, don’t you look nice?” Lucy said, giving Dan a once-over.

  Dan shrugged. “It’s nice to dress up every once in a while.”

  “He certainly cleans up well, doesn’t he?” Lucy said to Hayley as she nudged her conspiratorially.

  “Shush, Luce, you’re embarrassing me in front of an employee!”

  Lucy shook her head and left the kitchen to get her coat and purse. Dan turned to Hayley. “So, James is sleeping now, so I’d say, wake him up for soup, then give him some of the Ibuprofen on the table and he should be out for the night.”

  “Yes sir! It feels like I’m a babysitter you’re hiring.”

  Dan laughed. “Well, if you’ve ever seen Jimmy sick, you’d know how close to the truth that comparison really is.”

  “So he’s a bit of a child when he’s ill?”

  “Oh yeah. Cranky, sleepy, constantly asking for ice cream before his soup. Don’t give in!”

  Hayley faked a very grave look, placed a hand on his shoulder and whispered, “don’t worry, I won’t.”

  ***

  Fifteen minutes later Dan and Lucy were gone and Hayley was alone, absentmindedly stirring the chicken noodle soup, which she was heating on the stove while she pondered what exactly to do for the rest of the night. If James was going to be asleep, she could curl up in one of the armchairs near the bay windows at the front of the house and read a few chapters of the romance novel her mom had sent her in the mail. There wasn’t any planning to do— the following week was Book Appreciation Week, which meant that Hayley could reuse the lessons she’d written two years ago for the occasion. But it was only just 5:30, and Dan and Lucy wouldn’t be back for hours. How was she going to entertain herself, alone in their huge house with James asleep only a few feet away from her? How was she going to get comfortable knowing he was right near her, possibly still hating her a little bit after what she’d done the previous weekend?

  Without realizing it, the soup had nearly boiled over. Hayley only realized it when the sound of the rapidly expanding bubbles woke her from her reverie. She quickly turned off the burner and pushed the pot to one side of the stove before rooting around in the cupboards for a bowl.

  The bread popped up in the toaster just as she was pouring the soup from the pot to the bowl. Hayley buttered the roll, then put the bowl, bread, and a glass of orange juice (for Vitamin C) on a tray with a spoon and brought it into the living room.

  James was curled up under what looked like five blankets on the couch, sleeping peacefully. Hayley was loath to wake him, but he looked so peaked she couldn’t let him sleep through the night without sustenance, even if the idea of waking him up and potentially having a full-fledged conversation with him scared the crap out of her.

  Putting the tray down on the table in front of the couch, Hayley crouched down so she was at face-level with James. “James, James,” she whispered, reaching out to gently shake him awake.

  It took a few tries, but James slowly opened his eyes. “Hey,” he whispered, his voice still scratchy.

  “Hey there. I heated up some soup and bread for you. Do you think you can sit up and eat it?” James looked dazed for a moment, like soup and bread were foreign words spoken in a strange language, but gradually his expression cleared and understanding dawned on his face.

  “Uh, yeah, sure.” James attempted to sit up, but Hayley could tell he was struggling. He was so weak!

  “Here, let me help you.” She stood back up and leaned over, wrapping her arms around James’ waist and lifting him up until he was seated. She placed some of the pillows that had fallen to the floor on either side of him while he’d been sleeping to help prop him up.

  “Okay!” she said, sitting down next to James and bringing the tray to her lap. “Are you feeling up to lifting spoon to mouth?”

  James gave her a tired smirk and nodded. “Yeah, that I can do.”

  “Great. It’s chicken noodle, from Carlsberg Deli. It always makes me feel better when I have a cold. I mean, obviously pneumonia is way worse than a cold but... You know what I mean.” Hayley’s hands were shaking slightly as she handed him the bowl and spoon.

  James noticed her anxiety and placed a hand on hers, the soup bowl having been transferred to his lap.

  “It’s okay,” he whispered. “I don’t bite.�
��

  Hayley snorted, glad for the release of tension. “Eat up,” she said, motioning to the bowl.

  “Tell me how the kids have been.”

  While James ate, Hayley told him how despite Dan’s near-constant presence in her classroom, their kindergarteners were starting to act out in small but destructive ways. “I forgot to put my shoes in the closet one day after recess and Ana Fantry squirted glue into them when I wasn’t looking. Thankfully they were an older pair of Converse, and she’s so damn cute with her crooked ponytails and big smile that I couldn’t stay mad at her, but it was a bit uncomfortable trying to walk home on dried glue.”

  James snorted into his soup, his shoulders shaking as he giggled. “And how’s my namesake?”

  Hayley was confused for a moment, until she realized he was asking about Jimmy Thompson. “Oh, you know, thanks to Billy, he’s not acting out as much, even in your absence, but I still can’t trust him. Every time I hand him a vial of glitter I’m half expecting him to either snort it, eat it, or pour it on himself.”

  “And we all know that glitter is the herpes of art supplies.”

  “Exactly! You should’ve seen the classroom after we decorated paper Easter eggs last year. I found glittered bunnies in my hair for a solid week afterward.”

  “That’s something we need to start planning for, isn’t it? Easter’s coming earlier than normal this year.”

  Hayley nodded, absentmindedly pulling at a loose string on the blanket draped over James’ lap. “Yeah. I have some stuff we can recycle from last year, but I don’t like reusing holiday lessons every year if I don’t have to. The kids think it’s fun as long as there’s food and markers involved, but it gets boring for me if I’m teaching the same lesson five years in a row, you know?”

  James took a spoonful of soup and nodded. “This soup is good, by the way. Definitely fortifying.”

  “How did you get so sick?” Hayley asked. Though it was true that some of the color had returned to James’ cheeks while he’d been eating, he still looked gaunt and tired.