Always in My Heart

by A. C. Arthur

  “I’m not really sure how the payment thing works,” he said.

  She could hear that he was rustling with his clothes and when she turned back to stare at him, he was thankfully buttoning his pants.

  “What did you say?” she asked, blinking and forcing her gaze to meet his face, instead of his crotch.

  He cleared his throat. “I told you this was my first time. I only have a guest membership here and I wasn’t certain I was going to actually use the services tonight. So I didn’t get a chance to ask how the payment process works.”

  Eva blinked again, about two seconds before her cheeks heated and her hands began to shake. “You think…I’m not…wait a minute,” she said trying to catch her breath and keep a semblance of pride. Finally, she squared her shoulders and looked him in the eye, praying her words would be as clear as they needed to be and that afterwards the good Lord would grant her one last prayer and get her the hell out of this place as quickly as possible.

  “I’m not a prostitute,” she told him. “Tonight was my first time here too. But I came as a favor to a friend, not as a working staff member. So you, Rico, can keep your damn money.”

  Chapter 4

  Eva almost cursed the sun that was shining way too brightly this morning, and then when she cracked the second egg and watched the shells fall into the bowl alongside the yolk, she was really pissed. Correction, she told herself, she was irritated. Had been all night long.

  What had she been thinking? What the hell did she do? Exactly what she’d told Kenya she shouldn’t. Especially, since in the end Eva had even turned down the money.

  “I didn’t get a chance to ask how the payment process works,” he’d said as she’d been trying to leave.

  He’d thought she was a prostitute, and really, she couldn’t blame him at all. She’d acted just like one.

  The loud whir of the garbage disposal sounded as she dumped the destroyed egg down the drain. She wished what had happened last night could be disposed of as easily. As it was she’d been carrying this guilt all through the night. Getting up later than usual, just a little past ten, she’d noticed that Makai was still asleep and had decided to make breakfast with the hope that doing something normal would make her feel better. She was just like any other woman in the world who worked five days a week, paid her bills on time and lived the single life. She wasn’t different, no matter how many times she’d recalled Ruby telling her so.

  Third time was the charm because she managed to get four eggs into the bowl without shells and scrambled them until they were nice and fluffy. She’d been just dividing and putting them onto two plates, when Makai came into the kitchen.

  He was fully dressed, his five-foot, eleven-inch frame easing into the room with wide eyes just like when he was a little boy. Breakfast was his favorite meal.

  “Good morning to you too,” Eva said when he’d reached over the counter to snag a piece of bacon before she could put it onto his plate.

  “Mornin’, sis,” he said while chewing. “What’s the occasion? You haven’t cooked breakfast on a Saturday morning in a while.”

  She’d shrugged, determined to keep her mind focused in the present—minus last night. “Just felt like having some bacon and eggs,” she told him.

  “You were out late last night. I thought it was your night off,” Makai continued, as he remained standing but had taken the fork that she’d set beside his plate and already begun to eat.

  He was so handsome now, Eva thought as she decided not to chastise him for eating in a hurry. His root beer brown skin now accentuated by bulging muscles in his arms and chest. He was wearing a basketball jersey which told her exactly where he was heading—to the gym to play ball with some of his high school friends. It was nice the way they’d kept in touch. Eva hadn’t been able to enjoy that luxury since just two years after she’d graduated from high school, they’d moved from Hartford to Brooklyn. Besides, she’d doubted that any of her friends had been thrust into adulthood as quickly as she had and thus, they probably now had absolutely nothing in common.

  “I went out with Kenya,” she replied, not willing to go any further with that.

  “Yeah? Where’d you two go?” he asked.

  She shook her head. “Just to dinner.”

  “Not with any of those lame ass dudes that come see y’all at the club, I hope,” he said with a frown.

  Part of their deal was to always be honest with each other, so when Makai was thirteen and he’d asked what Eva did for a living, she’d told him. In the time since then, he’d never approved or judged, but he’d accepted.

  “No. You know I don’t mix business with pleasure,” she said, taking a long drink of the orange juice she’d fixed for herself. Those words didn’t go down as smoothly as she’d liked as memories of last night flashed in her mind.

  “Good,” he said. “Still, you know I’m making a little bit of paper now, down at music store. I can start taking on some of the bills and you can dedicate more time to your art.”

  Eva was already shaking her head in opposition. “I thought we talked about this, Makai. You were going to quit that job at the store so you can take that internship at Leef & Jenner.”

  Makai forked the last bit of his eggs into his mouth and chewed quickly, before emptying his glass of orange juice. “I don’t work for free, sis,” he told her simply.

  “It’s an internship, Makai. That’s not exactly working for free.”

  “Are they giving me a paycheck every week like they do at the store?” he asked arching his thick, dark brows and looking more like their father every day.

  She frowned. “Don’t play with me, you know how it works. You were on the Dean’s List the last five semesters so they enrolled you in the business and technology internship program. Getting the offer from Leef & Jenner was a blessing and you know we don’t walk away from blessings.”

  “We also don’t always know what a blessing is really. The devil knows how to give us what we want too, remember?” he countered.

  Eva couldn’t argue that. As children they’d grown up in the Baptist church their parents had attended in Hartford. Just a week before his death, their father had been ordained a deacon and their mother was the president of the Women’s Auxiliary. The night their parents were killed they’d gone out to celebrate that and her father’s promotion at work, while Eva and Makai stayed home. Their family had seen her father’s elevation in the church and on his job as blessings. And then their parents were gone. So, yes, Eva and Makai had become very leery of what was truly a blessing.

  “Look, it’s an opportunity,” she told him. “One I really think you should take. Think about your future, Makai.”

  Makai had been accepted to Columbia, Fordham, Medgar Evers and Brooklyn College. He’d received a five thousand dollar scholarship through the Future Leaders Association he was a member of and Eva insisted that he use that to go to Columbia. That’s when she’d changed from working three nights a week at TEASE, to working five nights. The tuition was expensive, but she was convinced that Makai’s future was worth the sacrifice. The first year he’d stayed on campus, then when he’d learned that she had taken on more hours at the club—much to her chagrin—he’d decided he would come home and commute. Now, he stayed with a friend who lived about ten minutes from campus during the week, and came home on weekends.

  “I’ve been thinking about my future a lot lately, Eva. Don’t worry. I’m not going to let you down,” he promised.

  “Don’t worry about me. I mean, I’m just trying to make sure you are afforded all the opportunities that you would have had if mama and daddy were alive. They would be so proud to see you going to Columbia right now,” she said, happy at least that he was thinking about what he would do when he graduated from college.

  “They would also want me to do something to get you out of that strip joint,” he snapped back.

  “That is none of your concern,” was her reply. She inhaled deeply and let out a slow breath. Talki
ng about the club and what she did for a living was never a subject she liked discussing with her little brother. “So, you weren’t home last night, either. Were you at study hall or the library?”

  “Nah. Went out with the fellas,” he replied. “Found this new spot we wanted to check out.”

  “And what about finals?” she asked immediately after she’d swallowed her last bite of food. “Spring semester’s going to be wrapping up soon. How are your grades looking?”

  Makai, who had finished his food well before her, as usual, only shrugged. “I got this,” was what he told her before tossing his backpack over his shoulder.

  The kitchen opened directly into the living room, so Eva watched as he walked a few steps, bent down near the sofa and picked up his basketball.

  “What time will you be back?” she asked out of habit.

  He tossed her a strange look, but then shrugged and replied. “I might be out a while. Going to meet up with some peeps after the game. You working tonight?”

  She nodded her response.

  Makai frowned.

  “Be careful. Text me when you get there and when you get home,” he said.

  For a second Eva thought about giving him that same look he’d just given her a few seconds ago, the one that said “I’m grown, stop clocking me”, but she refrained. “I will.”

  Shaking her head, Eva got up and began to clear the dishes. She thought about how far she and Makai had come since she’d been awakened late that fateful night, to police banging at their door. Hours later, Makai sat crying in her arms. Eva had been so shocked and afraid she hadn’t been able to shed a tear. Her mind had instantly begun running through questions that no seventeen-year-old should ever have to consider—where will we live? How will we eat? Who will send Makai to school? She hadn’t had the answers then. They wouldn’t come until days later, and even that hadn’t worked out the way she’d planned. As she closed the door to the dishwasher Eva stood totally still, trying to push back those painful memories of the past.

  A loud knock on the door had her jumping, her hand going quickly to her chest. Then she sighed, smiling as she moved toward the door.

  “Ha! You’re grown but you still forget your house key, every time,” she was saying as she walked through the living room toward the front door.

  Makai had been famous for leaving his key in the house in the mornings when he’d left for school. It was one of those times that Eva was thankful for the fact that she worked nights and was able to be there every morning to get him ready. It was funny to her that even though he would soon be a college graduate, in some ways, Makai was still the little boy she’d watched grow up.

  So, Eva was smiling when she turned the knob and opened the door. That smile slipped slowly and definitely from her face the moment she saw who stood on the other side.

  “Good morning, Eva,” Rico said.

  “What are you doing here? How did you know where I lived?” Eva asked, immediately on edge.

  The main reason for using a different name in her profession was to keep her personal life separate. She lived a good distance from the club and never took a cab directly to her apartment building from work. The name on her lease was Evangeline Miller. On all her paperwork at the club, her address was a post office box in the name of E. Romaine LLC. She never wanted any of the customers from the club to know where she lived or to get close to Makai.

  “Can I come in?” he asked.

  “No,” was her immediate reply, her hand shaking slightly as she gripped the knob of the door tighter. “You shouldn’t have come here. I don’t know how you found out where I lived, but you shouldn’t be here.”

  Eva attempted to close the door on him. In return, he made a simple move, grasping the door and holding it open, his strength easily topping hers. Eva looked at the door then, saw his hand—the lighter complexioned skin and the gold ring on his last finger—and frowned. Her skin was darker, her hand smaller, with no rings on any of her fingers.

  “I don’t want to make a scene, Eva. I just want to talk to you for a few minutes. Then, I’ll leave,” he said, his voice almost gentle.

  Eva didn’t want to give in. Not the way she had last night.

  “There’s nothing to talk about, Rico. What happened last night, just happened. Today is a new day,” she told him.

  He pushed a little and Eva had to take a step back while still trying to keep him out. He’d come closer, staring at her through the opening of the door. Today, he was wearing dark shades so she couldn’t see his eyes, even though she could still feel their intense gaze through the lenses.

  “This is ridiculous. I’m not here to hurt you. I just want to talk and I’d rather not have your neighbors hear our entire conversation. Now, can you please, let me in?”

  She didn’t want to. At the same time she didn’t want to feel like an idiot trying to hold the door when it was apparent that Rico was not only bigger than her, but stronger too. And he was right, she did not want her neighbors to hear them. Taking a deep breath she stepped back again, opening the door wider so that he could come in.

  He smelled good, she thought as he walked past her. Really, really good and she hated herself for noticing. In the light of day, she noticed even more about him. Like the fact that he was much taller than her, probably somewhere around six feet, four inches tall, or something like that. He had an easy and confident gait as he stopped in the center of her living room and turned back to face her. Eva closed the door and then leaned against it, folding her arms over her chest. She’d let him in, but she didn’t have to get close to him, because truth be told she didn’t know if she could continue to resist him if she did.

  He wore tan slacks today, with a matching shirt that again buttoned down the front. His shades and the camel colored tie-ups he wore made him look like he might possibly belong in an expensive black convertible, driving around South Beach, instead of standing in the middle of her Brooklyn apartment.

  “Why didn’t you tell me you didn’t work for The Corporation?” he asked, slipping his glasses off slowly.

  There were those eyes, zeroing in on her in seconds. Eva wished the floor would suddenly open up and suck her in at that moment, because while he was dressed and smelling good, she was wearing old gray sweatpants and an even older yellow t-shirt covered in multi-colored paint splotches. Her feet were bare, and so was her face. And her hair, she almost groaned. Eva Romaine wore wigs, very expensive and professionally styled wigs. While Eva Miller wore her hair natural, usually in a short curly afro. This morning, as she hadn’t taken the time to do anything with it, her hair was probably more of a matted mess.

  “You didn’t ask,” she replied tightly. “And actually, I did tell you that I’d never done that before.”

  He eased his hands into the front pockets of his pants, standing with his legs slightly spread as if he owned the damn world.

  “It was my first time, too,” he told her. “At The Corporation, I mean. I’m not an official member. I was just there on a guest pass.”

  “So was I,” she replied.

  He nodded. “I know. When I asked the floor attendant about you, she told me you were there as a guest of one of the hostesses. When I found that hostess in one of the other rooms, I asked her who you were and where you lived.”

  “You talked to Kenya? She gave you my address?” Eva could not believe that. Kenya was the one that had drilled into her head the importance of privacy. Never strip where you sleep, she’d told Eva.

  “No,” Rico said, shaking his head. “She pretty much told me to go to hell.” He chuckled. “She’s a good friend.”

  “Yes, she is,” Eva added. She had a feeling that Rico wasn’t used to being talked to the way Kenya had probably spoken to him. A part of her wished she’d been there to see it.

  “Look, we both got the wrong idea,” he said. “So let’s just start over.”

  Then he pulled a hand out of his pocket and walked over to her, with it extended. “Hi, my name is
Rico Bennett.”

  Eva looked at his outstretched hand and then up to his face. He was serious and she was…uncomfortable. But she wasn’t rude.

  She sighed. “Hello Rico, I’m Eva,” she said, taking his hand.

  He held it tightly as he moved even closer to her. “You’re Evangeline Romaine Miller and no, you’re not a prostitute. But you do work at the TEASE nightclub. What exactly do you do there, Eva?”

  She yanked her hand from his so hard, Eva thought she might have dislocated her shoulder. “Who the hell do you think you are? How dare you come in here after, what…did you have me investigated? How do you know all of my business?”

  “Whoa,” he said, turning as she’d begun walking away from him. “It’s nothing like that. When your friend wouldn’t tell me where you lived, I called someone that I knew who could get me the information.”

  “Why?” she asked. “Why did you need to find me so badly? And I swear if you say because you wanted to pay me for last night I may just lose all my good upbringing and hit you.”

  Rico shook his head and looked as if he might be actually trying to hide a smile. “There’s no need for violence. I said we were going to start over so I was just trying to get the preliminary stuff out in the open.”

  “Everything like who I am and where I work? I haven’t asked you those types of questions,” she quipped.

  “No, you haven’t,” he said. “But you can.”

  When Eva remained silent, he continued, because that was the type of person he was. She could see that, even though she’d barely known him for twenty-four hours. If he had questions, he would get the answers. Whatever he wanted to know, he would find out. What he did after that, well, Eva assumed he did exactly what he wanted to do, each and every time.