Falcon Quinn and the Black Mirror

by Jennifer Finney Boylan

  Falcon nodded, and the doctor moved toward the door. Just before he left the room, however, he paused to take one more look at Falcon, and in that moment, Falcon saw a strange expression on the man’s face—a mixture of bafflement, and fear, and—who knows?—pity, perhaps.

  He was gone for two minutes, then three, then five. As Falcon sat there, he listened to the sounds of other mutants playing outside: Sasquatches playing Hacky Sack, leprechauns playing a reel on the fiddle and the Uilleann pipes.

  As Falcon waited, he remembered his strange half dream of the night before. That shadow, coming for Gamm. Was it a vision of something that had actually happened? Or was it just a dream? As he thought about it, he realized that the figure he had dreamed of was the same one he had seen in the graveyard, standing by the tombs of Megan’s sisters.

  Again he heard the sound that Gamm had made in the dream, when she’d learned that Falcon was gone. It was a terrible, haunting sound. Inhuman, almost.

  When Dr. Medulla did return, he seemed more discouraged than ever. His giant throbbing brain pulsed red.

  “What is it?” asked Falcon. “Doctor? What am I?”

  9

  A DATE WITH DESTYNEE

  Falcon heard a miserable wailing voice as he climbed the stairs to the top of the Tower of Aberrations. Quimby gave him a weary look as Falcon stepped into the parlor.

  “What’s happening?” Falcon asked.

  Quimby shook his head-self. “Miss Destynee. You could say she’s taking it kind of hard.”

  “Taking what hard?”

  “Her diagnosis, of course. What, you didn’t hear? Destynee’s not a vampire.”

  “She’s not? What is she?”

  Quimby smiled with satisfaction. “Enchanted giant slug.”

  Falcon glanced toward the closed door of the girls’ suite. “Seriously?”

  “I’m afraid so,” said Quimby. “Still, there are worse things than being a giant slug. Like wearing a plaid shirt with striped pants.” He looked curiously at Falcon. “What about you? What’d you get?”

  “I…,” said Falcon. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Hmmm,” said Quimby. “Interesting!”

  The door to Falcon’s left swung open, and Merideath walked out, holding her suitcase in one hand.

  Falcon stopped her midstride. “Merideath,” he said.

  “Don’t go in there.” Merideath shuddered.

  “Why not?” said Falcon. “Is Destynee—? How is she?”

  Merideath tried to put it into words. “She’s…,” she said, and paused. “Eee-eww.” Then Merideath hurried down the narrow staircase. She took one last troubled look back as she reached the landing. Then she kept on moving. Her footsteps echoed in the stairwell. From the sound of it, Merideath was descending two steps at a time.

  Falcon peeked into the girls’ bedroom. Destynee was sitting in a coffin, her head resting upon her folded arms, which were resting upon her knees. Megan was rubbing her back. “It’s going to be all right,” she said. Pearl hovered over Destynee’s shoulder.

  “My life—is over,” Destynee sobbed. “Over!”

  “Is not over. Is just more—squishy,” said Pearl. “Slug is not so bad.”

  “Not so bad?” wailed Destynee. “Not so bad?”

  Megan looked at Falcon. She shook her head. “She’s taking it pretty hard,” she said.

  “What are you, Megan?” asked Falcon. “What’d they give you?”

  “I’m—a wind elemental,” said Megan. “I mean—I don’t even understand what that is.”

  “Ah!” Pearl buzzed loudly. “There are many elemental forms. That of the wind, that of the earth, and light, and fire. The wind elemental has the spirit of the hurricane, the delicacy of the breeze. When you reach your full incarnation, you shall be invisible, except for the things left changed as you pass through them! It is an auspicious and powerful transformation!”

  Megan’s forehead crinkled with lines. “Did you say—invisible?”

  “Yes,” said Pearl, “you shall become a thing both magnificent and unseen!”

  Megan’s eyes filled with tears, and she looked at Falcon. “Oh my god,” she said softly. “It’s coming true.”

  “What?” said Falcon.

  “My mother. She always said I should just vanish, because I wasn’t as good as they were. Well, now she’s got her wish! She’s got it!”

  “As good as who?” said Pearl. “Who is this, that your mother would compare you to?”

  But Megan just looked down at the floor.

  “Her sisters died,” said Falcon. “A couple years ago.”

  Pearl’s face looked angry. “But fortunate for the mother that still she had this Megan! This jewel!”

  Megan whispered. “She didn’t see me as any jewel,” she said.

  “Then she was blind!” shouted Pearl. “Blind to the blessings of her own child!”

  Megan wiped her eyes, then said, “Wait, will I be—always invisible?”

  “I cannot say, Señorita Megan,” said Pearl. “And yet, it is this Academy of ours, that is to teach us how to control these passions. Perhaps the proper course of study shall give you mastery over this vanishing!”

  “I would be glad if I could disappear,” said Destynee. “Being invisible is a big step up from being what I am going to be. Which is—a giant slug.”

  “How giant is giant?” asked Falcon. “I mean, will you be, like, the size of a house or the size of a car, or what exactly?”

  “I do not think the issue is giant,” said Pearl. “I think the issue is slug.”

  “Slug,” said Destynee. “I got—slug.”

  “Where is Merideath going?” asked Falcon. “I just passed her in the hallway.”

  “She’s moving to the Tower of Blood,” said Megan. “Now that she’s been diagnosed as a vampire, she wants to hang out there. Instead of with us.”

  “Instead of with—a giant slug.”

  Falcon moved closer to the coffin where the girl was still weeping on her knees.

  “I’m sorry you’re a slug,” he said.

  Megan looked carefully at Falcon’s face. “Does your eye hurt? It looks like it might hurt.”

  “Why?” Falcon said. “Does it look gross?”

  “No, it just looks really intense. And—super blue. What are you, anyway, Falcon? What did they say?”

  “They—don’t know what I am,” said Falcon.

  “What do you mean, they don’t know? Didn’t they do the tests?”

  “My tests came back negative,” said Falcon.

  Pearl buzzed close to Falcon’s shoulder. “What is this negative? How can it be?”

  “They say they have to test me some more,” said Falcon. “Either I’m something they’ve never seen before, or else—”

  Jonny Frankenstein appeared in the doorway and looked at Megan.

  “Hey, Jonny,” said Megan. “We were just talking to Falcon about—”

  “Listen. They got this dance thing,” said Jonny. “This Monsters’ Bash. You wanna go?”

  Falcon wanted to interrupt, wanted to tell Megan that he’d wanted to ask her to the bash. But it appeared as if Falcon had lost his chance.

  “Me?” said Megan. “Go to the—?”

  “You don’t have to,” Jonny said. “If you don’t want to.”

  “No, I’d love to go,” said Megan. She looked at Pearl, then Destynee. “That’d be—great!”

  “Yeah,” said Jonny, then left. A moment later they heard him starting to play the guitar in his room.

  “No one’s taking me to any dance,” said Destynee. “Not now.”

  Megan looked thoughtfully at Falcon. “Why don’t you go with her, Falcon?” she said. “You don’t have a date yet, do you?”

  Falcon felt the blood rushing to his cheeks. The last thing in the world he wanted to do was to take Destynee to the Monsters’ Bash, and not because he had a problem with her being a giant slug, either. It was because she had been so rude to h
im before, back when she thought she was a high and mighty vampire-to-be. She was the kind of girl he had liked the least, back in Cold River, the kind who viewed the world as a pyramid, with herself on the top and everyone else on the bottom.

  “It’s okay,” said Destynee. “You don’t have to take me.” She sighed sadly. “I wouldn’t take me, if I had the choice.”

  Falcon thought, I bet that’s true. She wouldn’t.

  Megan was looking at Falcon with an intense expression. Falcon could tell that she was trying to send him a message. Take her, she was saying. Take her.

  “I’d be glad to take you,” Falcon heard himself say.

  “Seriously?” said Destynee. Her face filled with hope. “Would you really?”

  “Sure,” said Falcon, with almost no passion whatsoever. “That would be really fun.”

  “What about you, Pearl?” said Megan. “Do you have a date for tonight?”

  La Chupakabra began to buzz. “Indeed,” she said. “I have accepted an invitation!”

  “Are you going to tell us who it is?” said Megan. “Or do we have to guess?”

  “For now, it shall remain a secret,” said Pearl. “A secret that shall be unveiled, in the fullness of time!”

  “Oh my god, oh my god,” said Destynee. “This is excellent!” She looked excitedly at Megan, then Pearl. “Okay. Well, now we have to get ready. How long until the bash? We have so much to do!”

  Falcon understood that it was time for him to excuse himself, so he got up and left the girls to their own devices. As he walked through the parlor, Quimby gave him a hard look.

  “I spy with my little eye,” he said. “Something—doomed.”

  Falcon walked into his room without responding and lay down on his bunk. Jonny was on the bottom bunk across the room from him, playing his guitar. For a moment Falcon just lay on his back, looking at the underside of the upper bunk. Lincoln Pugh was above him, softly snoring.

  Suddenly Falcon realized that the room had gotten quiet. Jonny had stopped playing and was looking at Falcon curiously. “So, what’d you get?” he said.

  “Nothing,” said Falcon softly. “I didn’t get anything.”

  There was silence for a moment. Then Jonny said, “Meaning what?”

  “Meaning,” said Falcon, “they don’t know what I am. They can’t figure me out. Either I’m something they can’t identify or else—I might not be a monster at all. I’m a mystery.”

  There was another pregnant pause. Then Jonny said, “Me too.”

  Falcon looked over at him. “What?”

  Jonny smiled ruefully. “That doctor guy just shrugged his shoulders at me. Said I was answering his damn questions all wrong, on purpose.”

  “I thought you were a Frankenstein,” said Falcon. “I thought you said you came from—”

  “From the junkpile, yeah,” said Jonny. “That’s what my ma always said. But just ’cause you got bolts in your neck doesn’t mean you’re a Frankenstein.”

  “Well, what are you, if you’re not a Frankenstein?”

  “What are you, if you’re not a monster?”

  “I don’t know,” said Falcon.

  “You know what, I don’t care what they call me,” said Jonny. “Their little labels don’t mean anything to me.”

  “Yeah,” said Falcon. “Still, it’d be nice to know, wouldn’t it?”

  “What’s the difference?”

  “You don’t want to know what you are?”

  “I know what I am, Falcon Quinn,” said Jonny.

  “What?”

  He played another chord on his guitar. “A piece of junk,” he said.

  The door at the bottom of the stairs creaked open. Slow, heavy footsteps began to ascend.

  “Company!” sang out Quimby.

  “Maybe it’s Merideath?” said Destynee, coming out into the parlor. “Maybe she’s sorry about being so mean?”

  “Perhaps it is as you say,” said Pearl. “But it would be a surprise to me if this Merideath should change her wicked heart.”

  Falcon and Jonny came out of their room and stood there listening to the approaching footsteps.

  “Oooo,” said Quimby. “It’s a mystery! I love a mystery!”

  Lincoln, rubbing his eyes from sleep, stepped into the parlor. “I hate mysteries,” he said.

  The young people stood there listening to the slow, heavy footsteps coming closer and closer. As they drew near, the stranger could be heard growling softly and muttering in a threatening manner. The footsteps ascended until at last a young mummy girl arrived at the top of the staircase. She staggered toward them. Still muttering under her breath, she looked the six and one-quarter of them in the eyes, one after the other. She was wrapped in gauze bandages that seemed to be slowly unraveling. Her face peeked out from the gauze, displaying her haughty, angry expression.

  “I am Sonahmen Ankh-hoptet,” she announced. “I have made this journey from the catacombs, deep within the cursed nether regions of the castle. I have come from this dark, dead place to the apex of this tower, to issue this summons.” She looked at them again, one by one. “Ankh-hoptet summons the bear of the night to take his rightful place at her side! Ankh-hoptet summons Lincoln Pugh!”

  She raised one of her bony arms, the tattered gauze bandages fluttering off of it, and pointed at Lincoln. “You,” she said. “You shall be my doom!” Then she threw back her head and screamed.

  When the scream was done, the others stood there looking at her, slightly embarrassed. For a moment they all were silent. It was hard to figure out what to say next.

  “Well, this should be interesting,” said Quimby.

  “Silence!” said Ankh-hoptet. “The Princess of Decay does not speak to the head within his jar! The Princess of Decay speaks only to her betrothed! By the disemboweled darkness of the jackal Anubis, lying naked on his throne, I curse thee to an eternity of muteness and woe!”

  At this moment, Pearl buzzed down toward Ankh-hoptet and stung her on her mummified rear end. “You are not the one who makes this curse!” shouted Pearl. “You are the stinky one! Bang! Bang! Bang! I sting you with the poison! Bang! Bang! I sting you again! Ha! Ha! I have sworn a vow to protect them—these, my friends! And by my stinger, you shall not speak any more with this voice of garbage!”

  Pearl flew around and around the mummy, stinging her repeatedly. Ankh-hoptet shrieked with pain and grasped her rear end with her hands. “Ow! Ow! Ow!” she screamed. “Oow! Stop it! I command thee!”

  “And you will stop with all the commanding!” said Pearl. “It is a great annoyance to anyone who must listen!” She stung the mummy again.

  “Ow!” said Ankh-hoptet. “Please! You must—I command thee—”

  La Chupakabra stung her again. “Bang! Bang! Bang!” she shouted, and laughed. “Bang! Bang! Bang!”

  “Ankh-hoptet,” said Falcon. “Maybe you should—”

  “Stop this impudent attack!” said Ankh-hoptet. “I command—”

  But at this moment something stuck in her throat, and the mummy began to cry.

  It started off as just a soft trickle of tears, but in no time at all the mummy was sobbing. “I’m so sorry!” she wailed. She grabbed some of the loose gauze that was trailing from her arm and wiped the tears off her cheek with it. She fell onto her knees. “You hurt me!”

  Falcon, Jonny, Megan, and Destynee all looked at each other.

  Pearl flew to a position even with their heads and looked at them all triumphantly. “This is the fate,” she said, “of those who would threaten the ones whom I have sworn to protect! It is the big black stinger that shall pierce their undead bottom!”

  Ankh-hoptet was now sobbing piteously. “Oh, it hurts!” She looked at the others pleadingly. “It really, really, really hurts!”

  Lincoln Pugh stepped closer to her. “I have some pink bismuth liquid,” he said. “It’s for my ulcer. It’s soothing. You want some?”

  Ankh-hoptet looked at the tiny boy with the orange hair and the orange
rectangular glasses. “I’m such a total loser,” wailed Ankh-hoptet through her tears. “I’m not even from Egypt. I’m from Illinois.”

  “Illinois!” said Pearl. “The mummy is from Illinois!”

  “Where in Illinois?” said Falcon.

  Ankh-hoptet wiped more tears from her face with her ragged gauze bandages. “Cairo,” she said.

  “There are monsters in Illinois?” said Megan.

  “There are monsters everywhere,” said Ankh-hoptet. “But they do not show their faces. They live in secret.”

  “Where do monsters come from, anyway?” asked Destynee.

  Quimby bubbled in his jar. “Hel-lo. From other monsters, of course.”

  “But—my parents weren’t wereslugs,” said Destynee.

  “Must have been something,” said Jonny Frankenstein.

  “They would have told me if they were monsters,” said Destynee. “Wouldn’t they?”

  “I, for one, come from a long line of Chupakabras!” said Pearl. “This legacy has been handed down, from generation to generation, among my people! The pursuit of the goat! It is a glorious history!”

  “My parents weren’t…,” said Destynee. “Anything. I don’t think.”

  “Of course they were,” said Jonny. “They just hid it from you.”

  “They lied to me? About who I am?”

  “Maybe they were trying to protect you,” Falcon said thoughtfully.

  “My father was a mummy,” said Ankh-hoptet. For a moment, after she’d said this, there was silence.

  “Well, that’s awkward,” said Quimby.

  “What about your parents, Falcon?” said Destynee. “Did you know?”

  “My father’s dead,” said Falcon. “My mother’s…as good as dead. I don’t know what they were.”

  “So it’s inherited?” said Megan.

  “Yes, of course it’s inherited,” said Quimby from his jar. “Monstrosity. But the children can be a different kind of monster from their parents. You never know what sort of thing children are going to turn out to be. It’s a mystery!”

  “My sisters,” said Megan softly. “They must have been—”

  “Did humans find out about them and come after them with pitchforks?” said Jonny. “Or did the guardians get them?”