Rock the Beat

by Michelle A. Valentine

  I open my mouth to tell Trip to take me, but my front door opens and I freeze at the sound of Jackson’s voice. “Holly? Are you in here?”

  I shove Trip’s hands out from under my shirt at the same time Jackson walks into the house and spots us. “Jackson? What are you doing in here?”

  Jackson’s eyes narrow. “I came to apologize for being an asshole, but I can see you both are clearly busy.”

  I jump up from Trip’s lap as Jackson turns and walks out the door. “Jackson, wait! It’s not—”

  Trip grabs my wrist. “Don’t insult him by telling him it isn’t what it looks like.”

  I frown. “Can’t you see how hurt he is? I have to find him.”

  “Let him go, he’ll get over it. If you chase him down you might as well be ready to beg him to take you back. Do you really want him to have the upper hand in your relationship again?”

  It’s second nature to chase Jackson down and apologize to him. I’ve been doing that over and over for the past year. Every time we fought, he would turn things around and everything would always end up being my fault—just like this situation.

  As if Trip can read my mind he says, “It’s not you who needs to do the chasing. He cheated on you, remember? You aren’t together now, we weren’t doing anything wrong.”

  I allow him to tug me back down on the couch and tuck me under his arm. “I hate playing games with people.”

  He sighs and kisses the top of my head. “You’re too sweet for your own good.”

  Maybe Dad was right. We’ve just begun this little game and it’s already becoming dangerous.

  Chapter 8

  Bringing Down the Giant

  HOLLY

  Trip and I sit in at the front counter together going over more financial documents. Over the last week we’ve spent every day going over some aspect of this track together. Yesterday I finally got Trip onto the track for the second time. He knows how to handle himself pretty well on a bike. I was impressed with his skills, considering he told me he hasn’t been on a bike in a few years. It reminded me of the real reason he’s here, and helped me to get over the crazy moment we shared together on the couch.

  Jackson hasn’t come around the track since the fight last week. Maybe that’s for the best. It’s good to know it’s finally over and he doesn’t deem me worthy of fighting for. At least I know where I stand with him.

  “I think I’m finally able to decipher Bill’s chicken scratch. It’s only taken me a week to get it.” Trip looks up from the binder full of office expenses he’s going through and asks, “Where is Bill? He’s been outside washing the bikes for a long time. Do you want me to go check on him?”

  I stand and stretch my arms. “That’s okay. I’ll go do it. I need a break anyhow.”

  He nods and then returns his attention back to taking notes. I glance up at the clock. Those bikes must’ve been really dirty—Dad’s been out there for nearly four hours.

  The garage door is wide open and I hear water slapping the concrete around the corner. I pause the moment my eyes focus on the source of the sound. Jackson is there washing the bikes. I glance around, searching for Dad, but he’s nowhere to be seen.

  Jackson notices me watching him and shuts off the water before tossing the hose to the ground. He dries his hands on seat of his pants as he approaches me. “Hey, Holl. How are you?”

  I twist my fingers together. This is an encounter I’m not prepared for. “I’m good. What are you doing here?”

  He shoves his hands deep in his pockets. “I came by to see you, hoping we could talk, but I ran into your dad. He didn’t look well, so I told him to go rest and I’d finish up here.”

  “Thank you. That was sweet of you. He’s been like that for a while, but he refuses to go to the doctor,” I admit.

  “If it’s money…I can help with the bills if he needs to be checked out. I don’t mind.”

  I shake my head. “I can’t take anything from you, Jackson.”

  He rubs his hand over his shaved head. “Max told me why that Trip guy is here.”

  I fold my arms. “That wasn’t Max’s business to tell.”

  “Don’t be mad at him. He was only trying to help. Max knows I have connections in this business. Why haven’t you come to me about this place’s money problems?”

  I shrug. “By the time I found out how bad things truly were the bank was starting the foreclosure process. There’s nothing you could’ve done at that point. That’s why I didn’t go back to school this fall. Dad needs my help until this investor comes through.”

  He frowns. “I wish I would’ve known that your father was struggling so much. He never said a word about it.”

  “He’s too proud. It was hard for him to tell me. All year at school I didn’t have a clue either. Nothing was mentioned until I came home this summer. I had to corner him about why he was a pile of bones and always so stressed. It broke my heart when he told me.”

  “What happened to all the money from last summer’s events? Did he tell you where it went?”

  My body tenses and I nod. “He gave it all to her.”

  Jackson’s mouth pulls into a tight line. “You mean Grace?”

  Visions of the last time I saw of the egg donor pop into my head. She came here with some skinny, grease-ball looking guy in a beat-up pick-up truck, geeking out of her mind. Her blonde hair was clumped together in sections, like it hadn’t seen water or soap in weeks, and there were red splotches all over her skin. It was so clear she chose her drug habit over everything thing else in her life—including food. She was so skinny a stiff breeze would knock her over. Nothing else matters to her—not even me—except finding a way to get her next fix. “Yeah. Dad’s been an easy mark since I’ve been away. He’s determined to believe my mother is still in there somewhere.”

  “Jesus,” he mutters.

  Jackson and Max are my only two friends that know all about my mother, and how my father has spent the better part of half my life trying to save her from herself. I know Trip is searching everywhere in those binders in the office for the answer for why this track is failing, but he’s not going to find it in there. There’s no place in those files for, “Give all money to drug-addict wife and ruin everyone else’s lives”.

  Tears fill my vision and I drop my head and bat them away. Thinking of Grace does this to me every time. I wish there was a way to wipe someone out of your memory and life for good.

  Jackson wraps his arms around me and I cling to him. “Please let me help you? Come to dinner with me tonight. I have a plan to save the track I want to talk to you about.”

  I sniff. “Okay. Just as friends.”

  “Of course,” he replies.

  I rub my eyes. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”

  He doesn’t say a word, only tugs me tighter and allows the emotion to flow out of me.

  TRIP

  Holly’s been gone a long time. I wonder if Bill is okay? I’ve gotten to know the routine around here pretty well over the last week, and for Bill to take this long to do anything is out of character. He’s a hard worker, but gets gassed easily. I can’t count the number of times Holly has begged her father to go to the doctor, and I’ve even found myself taking her side on the topic.

  Spending all my time with Bill and Holly reminds me of how nice having a regular life with a family can be, but it also brings on the concern you feel for others well-being. On the road it’s easy just to care about myself and the other guys in the band. It feels so surreal that it’s easy to pretend everyone else’s problems don’t exist—only finding concern when it affects me directly.

  I make my way outside towards the garage. My mouth drops open when I round the corner and find Holly wrapped in Jackson’s arms. Her head rests against his chest as he strokes the back of her blonde head. A lump builds in my throat knowing the connection I felt with her this past week has meant nothing to her, and she’s going right back to that jackass.

  Jackson’s eyes whip in my direc
tion and he smirks over Holly’s head so she can’t see his expression while he flips me off. His way of saying he won makes my blood boil. My instinct drives me to rip Holly away from her and find a way to make her stay away from him and ask her to give me a chance. Can’t she see how much I want her?

  I sigh and back away. Jackson’s smile grows wider. As much as I want her, I won’t try to force her to like me back the same way. I can’t even explain why I want her so much—I just know that I do. I haven’t had this much fun with a woman in a long time.

  I turn and head to the house, not wanting to see her with him anymore.

  Inside their house I hear the soft noise of the television playing in the living room. Bill’s sitting in the recliner, covered in a blanket, the remote in his hand. His color is grayer than normal, and his blue eyes appear to be sunken in a little.

  I sit on the couch across from him. “You don’t look good, Bill. I think it’s time you give into Holly and get yourself to the doctor.”

  “Can’t,” is all he says.

  In good conscience I can’t sit her and allow a man to compromise his health because he doesn’t have the money to pay his doctor to check him out. Something has to give. “Bill, if I tell you something, do you promise not to get angry and to keep the secret between us?”

  He readjusts in his chair. “Depends on how bad it is.”

  I laugh. “It’s nothing bad—more like something about myself I want to keep private.”

  “If that’s the case, I have no problem with that. We all have things we don’t want other people to know.”

  I rub my face and let out a deep breath. It’s now or never. “I’m the investor.”

  Bill raises his eyebrows. “You? Why wouldn’t you lead us to believe it was your friend?”

  “I didn’t want who I am to complicate things? I wanted to come here and get a look first hand at the business and to get to know you,” I admit.

  He tilts his head. “Who exactly are you, Trip?”

  “I’m the drummer for Black Falcon.”

  “Wow…” Bill trails off. “I wasn’t expecting that. I can’t say I’ve heard your music, but those entertainment shows sure mention your band a lot.” He glances around his house. “I bet you’re used to staying in places a lot better than this.”

  I chuckles. “I suppose so, but hotels don’t have the charm this place does.”

  “Ah, charm. What you mean to say is they don’t have Holly.” He lowers his gaze at me.

  I lick my lips. “I’ll admit, I like your daughter, but I don’t think she feels the same way about me.”

  “She likes you, trust me. I know enough about my daughter to know that.”

  I sigh. “Even if she does, I think she likes Jackson more.”

  Bill shakes his head. “Those two have history, and Holly is still young. She doesn’t know how to let go of a love that is no longer there. We have that in common. Give it time. Jackson will disappoint her again. He always does.”

  “I don’t know, Bill. They looked pretty cozy a few minutes ago.”

  Bill crosses his legs at the ankles. “That’s Jackson for you. The boy never did share well with others. Take this track for instance—thinks he owns it, like he can do whatever he wants here. Chases off riders he doesn’t want around. The boy has cost me a lot of business, running off any guy that stared at Holly a little to long, but I didn’t say much because I knew Holly loved him. That all changed a few weeks ago when he came here to call it quits with my daughter. I told that little asshole that as long as there was still a breath left in my body, I owned this place.”

  “I’ve noticed you’ve been sick the entire time I’ve been here. Why don’t you want to go to the doctor, Bill? If it’s money, don’t worry about that. I’ll see to it that this place gets insurance, and I pay for any medical bills you may get until then.”

  Bill shakes his head. “I can’t let you do that, Trip. What I have isn’t curable. It would be a waste of your money.”

  My brow furrows. “You mean you already know there’s something wrong with you?”

  He nods while wearing a solemn expression. “I have HIV.”

  A gasp leaves my body. I’ve never actually known someone with that virus, and I never would’ve expected an upstanding family man like Bill Pearson to have it. My eyes trace down Bill’s frail body, and things start to click. “Why haven’t you told Holly?”

  Tears well up in his eyes, and he bats one away as it slips down his face. “Because there’s nothing she can do to fix it. My girl is a fixer, and it’ll destroy her because she can’t fix this. I would rather things take their natural course and she find out after I’m gone. It’ll be easier that way.”

  He’s right about Holly, but that doesn’t change the fact that she should know. “Easier for who? You or her?”

  He shrugs. “For both of us. I don’t want to hurt my baby. The thought that I’ll probably leave her sooner rather than later crushes me.”

  “How long have you had it?” I ask.

  “My wife, Grace, contracted the virus about fifteen years ago and gave it to me. I think now since I stopped getting my medications last year, things are getting worse.”

  “Is that Holly’s mom? Is she still alive?” I’ve wondered about where her mother is, but I never asked because I figured it wasn’t my business.

  “Yes, if you want to call what she does living. She’s a heroine addict. After Grace cheated on me and discovered she’d given me HIV, she couldn’t handle the guilt. She ran off—cut pretty much all contact with Holly and me, except when she’s out of money. That’s when she comes around. When she’s desperate to find a way to get her next fix, she comes home, and I always give in.”

  I shake my head. That’s so fucking sad. I know Noel Falcon’s drug use once destroyed Black Falcon. Thank God Riff was able to get through to Noel before he got in too deep and ruined his life. “Jesus, I’m sorry. Drugs can royally screw a person’s life up. That’s a shame.”

  “That’s what Holly used to say, but as she got older the emotion she felt towards her mother went from sympathy to anger. The last few years, every time Grace has come around, Holly chases her away and won’t allow her to speak to me. I was grateful to her, I could never tell Grace, “No”, but Holly is a lot stronger than me. She stands up for what’s right. She’s special.”

  The weight of this secret presses down on my heart. How is this fair that I know this about her father and she doesn’t? Bill’s right. Holly is special. I knew it when I first laid eyes on her in the club. She stood out to me against all the other women vying for my attention—and she wasn’t even trying. That easy smile she wore when she hugged Max—the way she cut loose on the floor—I knew I had to have her and I didn’t even care if she was with another guy. That goes against everything I stand for. I hate cheaters. I was screwed over, so I know how bad it sucks. Cheating nearly ruined my life, but none of that even entered my brain because something about Holly drew me in and I was powerless to fight against it.

  The inner turmoil must be easy to see on my face. Bill leans forward in his chair and catches my gaze. “Trip, neither of us wants Holly to find out what we’re keeping from her, so the only way I’ll promise to keep your secret is if you keep mine.”

  I stare at this selfless man, who loves his daughter so much he’s willing to shield that he’s dying to save her some heartache. My heart cracks at the thought of how painful this must be for him. I don’t want to see Holly or Bill hurting. There has to be something I can do.

  “Bill, I’m ready to agree to be your partner in this business, I’ll shake on it right now if you agree to allow me to pay for your doctor visits and medications. I want to keep you here for Holly as long as I can.” I know I can’t make this all go away, but considering the cards that have been dealt before me, it’s the best offer I can come up with. “Please let me do this for you.”

  He doesn’t answer right away, just stares at the television absently for a few momen
ts, but then he nods. “Okay. I’d be a fool to turn a deal like that down.”

  I give him a small smile and extend my hand to him. “Do we have a deal?”

  Bill’s hand meets mine. “We do, partner.”

  And just like that I’ve agreed to take on half of the tracks problems in the hopes that someday we’ll be able to turn this place around and actually see a profit.

  Tyke is going to ream me out for making such a hasty decision. He won’t understand that this just felt like the right thing to do. I’ve got to go with my gut on this one. I believe I can make a real difference here, so this is where I need to be.

  Chapter 9

  She Will Be Loved

  Holly

  I study the way the blue dress hugs my curves in the mirror. This isn’t exactly a “we’re purely platonic” outfit but it’s perfect for torturing Jackson some more. I almost feel bad about playing this game with him now, but when I allow myself to think about him sleeping with other women behind my back it relieves the guilt, and keeps pushing me to act indifferent towards him.

  “I love the color of that dress,” Max says as he glances up from a magazine while lying on my bed. “Blue has always been your color. It matches your eyes. But I wish you weren’t wearing it to impress the asshole.”

  I smooth the dress down. “Do you think it’s wrong to make someone jealous on purpose?”

  “If you’re talking about making Jackson jealous, then you already know my answer. You know how I feel about him.”

  I put my hands on my hips. “What if I am? How would that affect your answer?”

  Max closes the magazine and tosses it next to him. “That asshole doesn’t deserve any more of your energy. He cheated on you, Holly. Then said he didn’t love you. Don’t let him mess with your head just because you’ve got something going with the new meat in town. Jackson’s fucked with your head long enough. He always strings you along. It’s time to move on, and maybe Trip’s the guy to do that with.”